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This is a little too much for me..
im 16/f. my boyfriend is 15, and he had his first heartbreak almost a year ago. he cant let it go and told me that it always hurts when he sees them together and cant forget no matter how hard he tries they were together for 6 months. we've been going out for almost a month and he told me that he finally found someone better to love(that would be me).. i know it takes time and stuff, and i know that he really likes me...but i really cant handle this feeling. i feel kind of sad because of it. i mean its been a year already? dont you think hed let it go by now? i feel so hurt... what should i do. i cant talk to him about it because ive done that before and dont like bringing it back up.. please give me some advice :(
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This isn't normal behavior when it comes to breakups and I think you know that deep down that he's got a problem that is akin to obsession. Yes, there would be some hurt left normally but it wouldn't be an all encompassing thing one year later.
He can't love you the way you need and want to be loved if he's still hung up on her and the past or thinking what-if. He needs to know getting back with her isn't in the cards.
I'm serious when I say this he needs to see a therapist or a shrink and get help with moving on as being this consumed and believe me it's an obsession isn't normal when he has a new girlfriend and supposedly moved on.
I have a feeling that you're going to get hurt by him. As hard as it may be to accept you might just be the rebound person to see if he can handle another relationship.
Tell him point blank that you aren't in this to get hurt. Let him know that his obsession with his past-girlfriend bothers you and after a year it's not normal.
Tell him you would like to remain friends but this isn't going to work if his full attention isn't on you and the present.
Do you know his ex? How comfortable are you with talking to her? You might want to confide this in her and get her to tell him that he needs to move on and be with someone else as nothing be it friendship or otherwise will happen. That might do it. Either way he should see someone. Good Luck!
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I think you should just let this go. Even though he still hasn't completely gotten over his ex it sounds like he is starting to really develop some feelings for you. I think that instead of constantly worrying and suspecting that he wants to go back to his ex, you should just be there for him and show him the difference between his ex and you. He was really hurt by her and the scar is obviously still there so that gives you an up side against her because you haven't broken his heart and you make him forget about her and feel happy. I think it takes time to get over your first but if you start getting angry when he talks about her or brings her up he's going to start keeping his feelings and thoughts to himself and when he can't come to you for advice or to be cheered up your relationship will fall apart. I use to tell my ex boyfriend that I didn't mind if he wanted to talk about his first and how hurt he was and because he was happy he could be open with me we talked about everything and we had a really strong relationship. It ended because of long distance issues other wise I think we would still be going strong today. If you are the supportive caring current girlfriend then she becomes the evil ex girlfriend and eventually his fledging feelings towards you will become stronger and stronger and he will associate his mended broken heart with you. Everyone thinks back to their first love occasionally but the important thing is that he's with YOU now not still on the fence about whether he should get with a new girl or not cuz of his ex. Good luck! Hope I helped :/ x
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