xcheerbabex108's advice column

askxcheerbabex108

advice column ask question view feedback favorite columnist advicenators

Q: my little sister has gone...dare i say it...GOTH i dont know why she has she just suddanly started wearing black and white make up and dressing in all black with chains hanging down from her pants what do i do

Let her be herself.
There's a possibility she could be depressed, but most likely she's just changing her style up.

Just because she's not exactly like you doesn't mean you should do anything. She's your sister; not your clone.

Jess

Q: Yo how do you make a myspace layout work?

Go into "edit profile".

Copy the whole layout code, and paste it into the "About Me" section of myspace.

Click "Save All Changes", and boom.
You have the layout.

Jess

Q: 15/f

My bf and i have been going out for a month, and i feel like we're already falling apart! I'm in a diff. part of the country for 3 weeks and recently i've noticed that he's rarely online and when he is he like doesn't pay attention to me and we basically never talk anymore. He deleted me from his facebook interests but he still has me listed as in a relationship. Whenever we go on dates he seems all happy to be around me and stuff- I know there's probably nothing to worry about, but I just can't stop thinking about this! I'm always like "oh god what if he's not interested anymore" and like "what if he won't date me when I get back?" and stupid crap like that.

HOW CAN I STOP OBSESSING OVER THIS AND GET MY MIND TO JUST BE HAPPY WITH HIM AND STOP WORRYING?

CHILL, for one thing.
Take a deep breath, relax your mind.

Guys tend to be less open about relationships and whatnot than girls. It's just a guy thing.

If he seems happy to be around you, then that's always a good thing.
If you worry about it THAT much, talk to him about it. Either over the phone, or in person [when you get the chance].
Don't accuse him of anything, and ask him to be honest. Let him know how you feel, and ask him the same. But just let it be; if you obsess, and get overly clingy/attached, some guys will just book. Take your time with him. Especially because it's only the first month.

Jess

Q: What are some positive choices for me to do after when someone calls you something rude?

Ignore them.
Walk away.
Respond with, "Thanks for the comment, but that's not how I see myself. I'm sorry you feel that way, but I don't."
Turn it into constructive criticism.
Realize they're insecure and/or they have nothing better to do with their time than try to make you miserable.
Don't give the satisfaction of your reaction. (Ex. cry, or try to respond with comebacks, etc.,)
Negative reactions are obviously a no-no.

Good luck,
Jess

Q: does anyone know of any songs i can put on my ipod that are like ones to get you pumped up before a sports game...i play club volleyball (women 15f) and was just wondering...ill take anything! thanks

I'd be happy to help with music! :D

Deja Vu-Beyonce
Let's Get It Started-Black Eyed Peas
Run It-Chris Brown
Fighter-Christina Aguilera
We Will Rock You-Queen
1,2 Step-Ciara
Get Up-Ciara
We Like To Party-Crazy Frog
Walk It Out-DJ Unk
Fergalicious-Fergie
My All (Remix)-Mariah Carey

There's some; I don't know what type of music/genres you listen to/like, so I tried to get a variety.
Plus, on iTunes, you can search for that kind of music. (Nike playlists, etc.,)

Jess

Q: there is a song its kind of old but it goes
"were gonna celebrate...were gonna celebrate tonight"
does anyone know the name of it and the artist. kind of reminds me of paul oakenfold a bit...thanks

All you could've done it google the lyrics, but it's fine.

"Celebrate" by Kool & The Gang

Jess

Q: Okay so i have been dating this one guy for over two years now, and I really love him and care about him. In the first year of our relationship I ended up cheating on him with this one guy who was a good friend of mine, we had ended up making out..well he then left for the millitary and recently i have thought about him and he came home for a christmas leave the other day we met up and ended up making out again. this guy says he really cares deeply for me and wants me to give it a shot with him..but the thing is i love my boyfriend i trully do, and i am not telling him this time around (last time i did and we worked through it) However, i feel like i do have some pretty strong feelings for this other guy and its like i have lost some for my boyfriend because he has been taking his anger and tired-ness out on me a lot and we get into these really bad arguments and sometimes i get scared deep down that he will hit me..but he never has...WHAT DO I DO?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

PLEASE HELP ME..do not bother if your going to insult me or call me a horrible person.

No way I would insult you, doll.

I understand exactly where you're coming from;if you think you'll be happier with the second guy (military), go for him! I don't know much about the guy you've been in a relationship with for two years, but I can just tell by the way you describe him that you love him to complete death, but you're getting tired of him.

What I would do is really consider who you want to be with. Think about it, wait about 24 hours, etc.; just really consider everything.

Jess

Q: I'm a little confused so if you all could help me, that would be great! So my problem is I don't know if this girl is a real friend. Here are the good things about her

Good
- she's really nice!
- hilarious
- makes me smile
- makes me happy if i'm in a bad mood
- smart
- have some things in common
- have been friends for about 4 years

Now here's the bad things

Bad
- she always brags... even if its good or bad
- has the need to rub things in peoples faces and make them feel bad
- gets mad easily
- has friends who are doing drugs, or like bad things
- is a perfectionist
- thinks that she is amazing and has no flaws.

I'm wondering if she's a real friend or not... hopefully you can help me?

Here's an example of her-

So lets say we have a test (and she's in my class) and I get nervous... She will be nice and make jokes (nice jokes) and try to encourage me to relax and just try my best. but then after we get our scores (lets say I get an A- and she gets an A, because she is so smart) she will just rub it in my face and be like "oh my god! an A!!!! God, I thought I would do worse than that. And I didn't even study! ha ha ha. what did you get?" and i'll say my score (which i'll actually be proud of) and she will be like "oh, well, thats still ok... I bet that there's extra credit coming up soon."

I'm so confused! HELP!!

It's good that she can bring you up when you're feeling down.

BUT, however, she seems a little too full of herself, and obviously she can be a little downgrading. As for the friends with drugs and stuff, you always have the choice whether or not you want to be put in a situation like that.

If you're willing to handle her and the way she acts, then that's perfectly fine. But honestly, she does seem a little two-faced to me.

I say if you still want to be friends with her, earn some more trust, and NO MATTER WHAT, stay confident in who you are as a person: academically, personally, socially, etc. Don't let her insecurities or little comments bother you.

Jess♥

Q: Hi..I just got an ipod for my b-day and i was wodering if someone could tell me how to download music from limewire to your a ipod

Thanks

Well, I've tried that, and the files don't go right to your itunes, or whatever you use.

You'll have to make a cd of the songs from limewire, & then upload those onto itunes, and put them onto your ipod.

Jess♥

Q: There is this guy who goes to my school and weve been talking online and he wants to hangout over winter break. He even asked me for my number and he seemed excited about it.

Today I went out for lunch with my friend and he ended up being at the same place we went to. We've never talked in person so its kind of awkward. I passed him and said hey and he said hey kind of quietly and like smiled a little. I just felt like he didn't want to talk to me.

He is NOT a shy person. But maybe he is with me just because we havn't talked. Or maybe he doesn't like me. I don't know... Any opinions?

Awe, haha.
My opinion is that I think he's just being a little bit shy because he hasn't talked you directly in person; just over the computer.

I think he likes you as a friend. As for the "more than friends" factor, you have to get to know him a little better. But I think you two should totally hang and get to know each other more.

You never know what could happen. (:
But just take things slow as of right now,
and be friends.

But the possibilities are endless.

Good luck !

Jess♥

Q: I've had my phone for about two years now. And I only charge it once maybe two times a week...but latley I've been charging it EVERYDAY. It's not that I'm using my phone more, because I dont make a lot of calls. Could it be that my battery's old? Where can I get a new one?

The battery's probably old. Whatever service you use (Verizon, T-Mobile, Metro PCS, etc.), you can just go up to the store and get a new battery for it. Make sure you bring your phone in, and it should cost anywhere from $30-60, depending on the phone.

-kitty sheldon♥

Q: O.k, i have been in love with this guy since last summer already.We went out for like 4 months then we broke up but i dont know why.He didnt even say it's over he just stoped calling.So i would call him all the time and sometimes we would hang out but we would never bring up why we had broken up.So i would go to all the good parties but when i was having fun he would always end up where i was.We would talk and sometimes kiss and stuff.Now that i see him everyday in school i can't stop thinking about him.I can be having fun and he'll just pop up in my mind and i'll start to cry.I have even tried moving on and loving somebody else but it didn't seem to work because i would still think of him. Please tell me what to do i want to get over him because all he does is hurt me.

First of all, he's a JERK because he just stopped calling you and never even having the guts to say "I don't think this is gonna work out."

I'm not just going to tell you to get over him, because believe me, I know that isn't easy at all. But you need to realize that he's using you as some sort of rebound, and that's probably what's hurting you the most. I know this is kind of cliched, but remember what you deserve. Someone who is going to treat you right. The guy that I've had a similar situation with-yeah, he changed his number. And then he MOVED. And I still have to see him now and then.

So, if you can handle it, talk to him. Stay friends. Even tell him straight up: "Hey, I don't appreciate you not telling me anything when we were basically over. If you want, we can stay friends. But if you just want to be friends with benefits, I'm not sure I can take that."

(Unless of course you do want to be friends w/ benefits, then go for it.)
But I say just give it some time, see all your girlfriends, try not to think about him; distract yourself. You don't need someone who is going to continually keep hurting you & break you down. You're better than that, and you deserve better.

Good Luck, and I hope I helped at least a little.
-kitty sheldon♥

Q: i have a crush on this guy and well i think that im not pretty enough to ever get a guy!! I don't know what to do should i just give up or take action? can u give me some advice?????

sorry i haven't logged on in forever !

Of course I've never seen you, but every girl is pretty & beautiful, no matter what. I think that before you ask him out, get to know him. Ask him to hang out; just start talking to him. Even a simple "what's up?" is perfect.

Now, give that time.
Pay attention to his reactions.
If after a while, (more than a week or two!) you don't think he's all that into you, just try to stay friends.

If you ever need more advice,
I'd be happy to help.
(:

-kitty sheldon♥

Q: Ok this week was my first week of high shcool and almsot every homework we did, I busted my ass off and stayed up late doing it and the teacher doesn't even collect it!

Why does it even matter to do my homework then?!

I hate to tell you this: but tough luck.

Teachers suck, school sucks. I understand, because when I bust my ass, and the teacher doesn't collect it, it pisses me off too. But if you don't do it one night, the next day'll probably be when she decides to collect something.

So, just do your best, even talk to her about it. But don't just not do it.

Jess♥

Q: I usually have pretty good skin. It's a little dry, but it's usually pretty clear. Sometimes I have one or two pimples. I drink a LOT of water- more than eight glasses a day. I wash my face twice a day.
Yesterday when I woke up, my skin was suddenly oily and I had eight pimples all over my face.

Does anyone have any ideas why this could have happened?

It could just be that your body's changing, and it's your hormones.

Jess♥

Q: Ok, so I have two screenames for AIM. One of those screenames is blocked by somebody. If I were to link the two screenames, would the person still show up on my buddy list?

There's a good chance their screename would show up, but I'm not entirely sure. You could always try doing it. (:

Jess♥

Q: in about september 06-march 07 i was with this kid i REALLY liked a lot. he broke up with me in march because i did a lot of bad shit to him which i totaly regret. i cried over him almost everynight.. and i knew that we would never get back together ever again. my ex really did hate me and i knew it. i still liked him a lot up until about julyish..then i started to like this other guy [but i still had my ex in the back of my mind] i went on vacation and when i got back the guy who i liked asked me out and we are now going out..however i kept having dreams about my ex and i wanted to talk to him to just have closure. i had a gut feeling he still had feelings for me but no one would believe me..i decided to text my ex who i hadnt talked to since march. [ we had a few hey,hey,whats up, nm u, nm conversations every now and then but not a real one] i said to him can i tell you something and he said yes and i said okay well ive definately changed a lot since we were together..and i just want to let you know that becuase i pretty much want to apologize for anything stupid i've done and i hope we can be cool now yada yada..and hes said yeah i really disliked you for a while but its cool now but i like realllyy did like you thoguh before all that shit happened.and i said yeah same i realllllyy did like you a lot..and after i did too for a while but its all good..and he said whats a while and i said welll i liked you a few months after we were officially done and then i just had a thing for you. and he said realllyy reallly did you really like me blah blah and i said yeah.. you have no idea.. and then suddenly he goes so i hear your going out with [my bf now] and i know he was considering going back out with me but then he remembered i had a bf. i said yeah and he said thats cool im talking to him now and i said cool and he said yeah. its friggen awesome..and he startyed to act all moody. i had a feeling it was becuase i did actually have a boyfreind now and he did still have feelings for me.. sorry this is so long im almost done :]]] haha bottom line..i still really love my ex and i woke up this morning thinking about my ex and not my bf..i like my bf but i love my ex. i know if i break up with my bf my ex will go back out with me. but my bf is a reallllllyyy great guy who doesnt deserve that. please help me i realllyyy have no idea what to do. i need serious help becuase my friends dont know what to say either. thank you so much xoxo

Awe, I'm sorry, doll. ):

Well, I would honestly think long and hard about this. I know it really sucks when you have to pick between two guys that you really like. What I would do about your ex is really consider if he's worth going back out with. It sounds like you REALLY do like him, and it sounds like he's a pretty cool guy. But to tell you flat-out: it's probably not going to work out again. I'm not saying that to be rude or anything, but just think: no matter how much you guys still like each other, there's gonna be a little bit of space & awkwardness because of what has already happened. Then again, your current boyfriend sounds like a good guy, too. If you like him, but you're not feeling it as much as him, or you're confused, let him go. Or, even take a break. Honestly, you could always stay single for at least a week or two & see what your true feelings are. I'm not saying you & your ex don't have a chance, I'm just telling you that if you go back out with him, and dump your current boyfriend, you might end up regretting it.

I hope I gave some support & advice,
and good luck.

Q: First let me establish I am NOT asking this for myself. I don't smoke, I'm trying to reasearch the effects of different drugs.

On to the question. If someone is paranoid (in a cynical ''I think they're talking about me'' way, not in a ''they're after me'' insane, crazy way) would smoking weed increase the paranoia? Or are the effects different to each person?

Please remember I'm talking about regular cynism and having no trust in people. I'm not talking someone who's crazy here.

From what I've read & heard, and even seen, if you're already experiencing a mental illness,(paranoia) weed or even any other drug, could increase the illness. I guess you could say it does depend on the person, but it really depends on their mental condition.

I hope this helped somewhat with your research.
Also, I would reccommend other websites on the Web to help you. Good luck!

Jess

Q: None of my family ever got a cell phone, yeah we're old fashioned. But I'm going to high school so my dad is getting us a cell phone.

I don't care about all the msn and stuff i just want a phone and maybe if I'm lucky, takes pictures and plays music.

Does anyone have tips since thsi is the first time we ever went shopping for a cell phone?

normal price ranges?

About the contracts and deals for paying, etc?

Thank you so much!

I would definitely try Verizon.

Their phones are fairly cheap, (depending on the model & year it was made) and the phones aee sturdy. Verizon has really good customer service, and the contract they'll give you is probably around 2-5 years. (They'll let you pick the contract)

♥Jess

Q: 13/F

I haven't been eating recently. I've put on a little bit of weight & don't want to be like this.
I haven't put on a lot, but I've just noticed it.
Yesterday i only had a packet of crisps but other than that i haven't really eaten since wednesday.

We never have any healthy food in the house.
If ever i ask my mum too get some fruit or something like that she would say yeah okay and roll her eyes, then when she comes back from the shops she says she 'forgot'.
It's really hard for me because i am the only vegetarian in my house & my mum buys mostly meat products.

Anything i can do?

You have to eat!

Like the advicenator before me mentioned, get money and go buy it yourself. Or, if possible, go with your mom to the store. If you don't eat, yes, you will gain weight, and it could put your health in danger when you're older.

http://www.seventeen.com/health-sex-fitness/special/healthy-snacks-hsp-0206

Here's some healthy snacks, and you could also look on the website for good meals, vergetarian or not!

Jess♥

bio

Heyyyy, I'm jess. I love to help other people, no matter what. I've been through enough bs to know when to just stop and walk away. I don't judge; feel free to ask me anything. I have quite the temper. But, what makes me a good advice-giver is that for the most part, I'm genuinely empathetic and willing to help.
(:

I've had a lot of experiences with piercings, bullying, family problems, and even sexual issues (no std's)- but with the emotional part of it. I love music, so I give good, basic advice about that, too. Also, I deal with severe anxiety and depression, and have been in treatment numerous times. On top of that, I have OCD (Obsessive Complulsive Disorder), and because I've been around people addicted to drugs, or cutting, I can help! Just give me the chance.

add me on myspace!
www.myspace.com/itskittybitchx