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is she a real friend?
I'm a little confused so if you all could help me, that would be great! So my problem is I don't know if this girl is a real friend. Here are the good things about her
Good
- she's really nice!
- hilarious
- makes me smile
- makes me happy if i'm in a bad mood
- smart
- have some things in common
- have been friends for about 4 years
Now here's the bad things
Bad
- she always brags... even if its good or bad
- has the need to rub things in peoples faces and make them feel bad
- gets mad easily
- has friends who are doing drugs, or like bad things
- is a perfectionist
- thinks that she is amazing and has no flaws.
I'm wondering if she's a real friend or not... hopefully you can help me?
Here's an example of her-
So lets say we have a test (and she's in my class) and I get nervous... She will be nice and make jokes (nice jokes) and try to encourage me to relax and just try my best. but then after we get our scores (lets say I get an A- and she gets an A, because she is so smart) she will just rub it in my face and be like "oh my god! an A!!!! God, I thought I would do worse than that. And I didn't even study! ha ha ha. what did you get?" and i'll say my score (which i'll actually be proud of) and she will be like "oh, well, thats still ok... I bet that there's extra credit coming up soon."
I'm so confused! HELP!!
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
It sounds to me like she's out for herself. But, a lot of times people can get that way because they don't realize that their selfishness bothers you. In other words, it's really easy to take friends for granted and be that insensitive when you've been friends long enough to be comfortable with one another. My advice--tell her how you feel, whether you sit her down and talk to her about it or write her a letter containing your observations and thoughts. Either way, effective communication is the key to any successful relationship.
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she basically seems nice and its good she cheers you up
but you should tell her that those other things annoy you
like about the test, when she said that you should have said "actually i am very proud of this score and i dont think i need the extra credit becasue i worked hard to get this grade"
tell her that she shouldnt say thesew things to you because it makes you feel bad
there is nothing wrong with confrontation
just be nice about it
maybe you can change her?
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It's good that she can bring you up when you're feeling down.
BUT, however, she seems a little too full of herself, and obviously she can be a little downgrading. As for the friends with drugs and stuff, you always have the choice whether or not you want to be put in a situation like that.
If you're willing to handle her and the way she acts, then that's perfectly fine. But honestly, she does seem a little two-faced to me.
I say if you still want to be friends with her, earn some more trust, and NO MATTER WHAT, stay confident in who you are as a person: academically, personally, socially, etc. Don't let her insecurities or little comments bother you.
Jess♥
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Just a few things here. First I've got to say this. Good friends are hard to come by. Second, if you find yourself always going over their house or setting up dates to hang out etc and they aren't making any effort to hang out with you then you might want to reevaluate that friendship. Also just like any person, no one is perfect. You have to take the good with the bad. If your friend's bad side out weighs the good and you can't deal with it, then break it off. However you don't have to tag along when you know they are up to no good. I got a friend who's self centered and egotistical and extremely selfish but that's his bad side, his good side is he is loyal and will give the shirt off his back to help you, bit of a oxymoron but it's true! He's bailed my butt out of few problems in the 15 years I've known him. Another thing too is that just because you get into a fight doesn't mean that's the end. Sometimes it take a verbal confrontation to get your point across. If you are worried about your friend hanging out with the wrong crowd then point that out to them. Anyway I hope that'll give you some insight. Good luck!
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