Just your average nice girl next door. Married the love of my life at 24, widowed at 29.
I love cats and sailing and get to the beach as often as I can.
Gender: Female
Age: 39
Member Since: January 7, 2005
Answers: 298
Last Update: July 17, 2006
Visitors: 23234
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I got a g/f! Thanx 4 all ur support everyone! :D
But, 2 more questions, how do I keep her? How can I make her happy? (link)
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be yourself, be honest and trustworthy. Treat her the same way you want her to treat you. Respect her space and privacy and do things apart and appreciate the things she does that you don't necessarily care for... then when you have time together you have fun things to get caught up on talking. And be a good listener, and remember those little things she mentions and cares about.
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I really do not care for nylons, but i really do not care for dresses either. My husband bought me this wonderful dress (which i totally love)for his christmas party next month. it shows my legs from the knees down, and i was told nylons are like a huge fashion don't now. problem is my legs are whiter then casper's! I do not waste my time tanning -- just does not work for me. could you give me some advice on nylons? thanks (link)
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I hate nylons too! That's why I moved to Florida. I only wear them when absolutely required, like a professional thing or a formal event. The only thing that helps is by wearing "Thigh Highs" instead of pantyhose. They're a lot more comfortable and your husband may find that pretty sexy too!
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i need very sound advice on this. My ex and i ended because of something really stupid, and he was so hurt that he just jumped right into another relationship. After months of being with his gf he was telling me he still had feelings for me, but i was so angry and hurt still that i didnt let him know how i really felt!
My ex and i had a long history. Weve been broken up for a year now. Him and his ex broke up just recently.(they break up alot, but always get back together) This is their longest break though.(theyve been together for a year now) Him and i talked the other night for 1 1/2 hrs. During the convo it came out that i still had feelings for him. (he thought i hated him) His first question that he always wants to know is, if i have done shit with any guys. I told him yes, just 1. Hes always been very respectful of me when it came to sexual stuff. (We kinda did it, but i never let him go in all the way). He asked me if i have wanted to, and he said that he has! Then he said "Bad?" He also asked if i had any questions about us wanting each other, and i said, "How do you feel?" and he said he really doesnt know.
Im not gonna sleep with him so you dont have to comment on that. Anyways, i saw him kiss his ex on the cheek today, and him and i have plans to hang out tomorrow. Theres so many ugly thoughts running through my head that i dont know what to think.
He would never take advantage of me like that (because he never has before) But why is he thinking about doing it with me? Is it because maybe he hasnt gotten in awhile and hes horny? (thats 1 of my ugly thoughts)
I dont want to really talk about her when we hang out, and i dont know if hed be 100% honest with me if we did. He talks better to me in person than online, since we havent been together, but im the 1 that IMs him all the time.
I was really hoping we could work through things, and someday get back together.
My biggest question is, Do you think he just wants sex from me, and why??
Any other feelings or comments about this i would greatly appreciate!
Thanks! (link)
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I've been where you are.... he doesn't necessarily want you back as his steady gf, but he doesn't want anyone else to have you either. And that is a clear sign of an unhealthy relationship. He has no business asking if you've been with other people... it's quite obvious that he's been with other people! It's a control thing. Walk away and find someone that respects you and won't treat you that way.
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My aunt passed 8 months ago. Her and I just so happen to wear the same size clothing. About 4 weeks ago, my uncle brought over some of my aunt's clothes for me to go through and pick out what I would like to keep. He gave the clothes to us, so I'm not pressed for time to decide because we don't have to return them or anything like that, but my Mom has been rushing me to look through them so she can clear them out of the basement. Thing is, I don't want the clothes. It's not that they're unappealing to me. It's that it would just be too emotionally upsetting to have them. I really don't want them, and I'm firm in my decision. My mom views it as, "perfectly good clothes", and since they're free, she might be a tad bit mad if I didn't accept them. Don't get me wrong, I've very thankful for the offer. But I just don't want to look like a total jerkface to my unlce's family. *Do you think it would be rude of me to refuse the clothing? (link)
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I can understand your feelings and it is SO good of you to put your family's feelings first. Pick two or three items that you like, or you liked seeing your aunt in. Then just stash them away... maybe someday you'll want a remembrance of her and you'll still have that favorite sweater.
4/3/06 - glad to know you're feeling better and made a choice that suits you and honors the memory you have of your aunt.
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ok! Well this summer I was on a very intence swim team, and volleyball team! I weighd about 84 pounds! Then after summer when volleyball and swim team stopped, i started to eat more and i just stopped exercising what so ever! And i dont have gym in school! Now i weight about 112 pounds! I really want my body shape back i've tried to hold back my eating but i cant! Please help me what should i do? (link)
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You might still be growing, cause you didn't say your age. But if you want to maintain a reasonable weight.... eat only half of what you take. and only eat when you are truly hungry, not bored. Your stomach is full about 10 minutes before your brain tells you.
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Ok here u goes. I'm 17/male. And there's our neighbor sta**/Female who's 30. The problems that I think she sexually desires me. It all starts when she began to smile to me 2 month ago just after we moved to this new neighborhood. Anyway I was surprised last morning when she called me while passing her house. (She was outside and I respond her). So she handled my hand and moved it inside the shirt &I touch her breast. I can't deny that I felt erotic in that moment." I WANT U": Were her words. She told me that she wants 4rom me to have sex with her. Then I removed my hand quickly saying that I am late for school and I run away.
I am confused….should I refused or agreed?? Because she really success to seduce me and SHE'S REALLY HOT and SEXY and I am physically attracted to her. I know that she's older… What should I do????
Ps: I flirt many times and had sex 3 times.
Thanks 4 advices. Justin
Email:justin_frogy@yahoo.com
(link)
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I'm sure to a 17 yr old guy it's very hot to be desired by an older woman. However, you need to remember that the years of experience you don't yet have DO make a big deal. I think you should walk away! When I was 30 the idea of having sex with a 17 yr old would seem like being with a child. (Not that you aren't mature, handsome, etc.) but there is something definitely wrong with her and she should be considered a child molester. If anyone pushed the issue she will be arrested, charged and live the rest of her life as a registered sex offender. Obviously there is something So wrong with her that she's not even considering those factors.
One more thing - put yourself 25 years in the future.... do you want your 17 yr old being seduced by the 30 yr old loser neighbor???
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me and my boyfriend are trying to get pregnant. he problem is, he did drugs like marijuana, ecstacy, cocaine, and even crystal meth once. that and he smokes cigarettes (as do i). im pretty sure this has a lot to do with why its so difficult for him to get me pregnant, but does anyone know what the odds are that he's going to get me pregnant? and is there anything we can do to make it more likely? also, when is the most fertile time for a girl to get pregnant? (link)
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I'm not sure of the things related to how likely you are to get pregnant when smoking and/or drugs are involved. However, if you count the first day you start you period as day One of your cycle, the most fertile time (or time you are ovulating) is from day 7 through 14.
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Am I the only one in ADVICENATOR land that isn't a highschool student?
Every question that I read has to do with either a girl or boy in hs who has a relationship problem. I never see any adult questions. Does anyone know of any other sites like this that are more adult oriented? (link)
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I'm way out of high school and tend to read and respond to the relationship questions more because as a female it seems we suffer/ feel almost all the same emotions and frustrations no matter what the age.
At 36 I dated this great guy for about 3 months and I was dumped. I swear it was just as torturous as when I was 16 and broken hearted. But I walked away like a lady and 4 years later this wonderful guy came back into my life. It didn't work the first time because of his demanding schedule/travel 25 days out of 30! and that he's a workaholic. Now his job position has changed and we just got a puppy.
As to your question though... I offer advice to some of the teens because I remember what it was like and can tell them it'll all be different in 5 years or 10 years. I do, however, prefer to reply to questions that are clearly written, and you could say, grammatically correct. Not fancy, but someone who will understand the difference between advice and criticisms and is genuinely seeking advice with an open mind.
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Well I'm 16 turning 17 in less than two weeks. I had been dating this guy for almost 4 months, and our anniversary was coming up in less than a week. I had already made plans with him and his family for Thanksgiving and me and him were doing amazingly well. Then about one week and a half before prom he started blowing me off to hang with his friends all the time, and he kept lying to me. I was afraid he might be cheating and because of the immature way he was acting we started fighting alot. Then came prom night. We were dancing, laughing, having a good time, and he kept telling me how much he loved me. Then after prom he told me to go straight home because he was staying at his "friend's" house, whom had a 16 year old slut of a sister, and she kept eyeing my bf at prom, and not paying attention to her date at all. Well I didn't want him to go, because he promised to hang out with me after prom, but I had to go so I did. All that night I cried myself to sleep and when I woke up he finally called me. I came over and he was upstairs on his bed crying. I came over and asked what was wrong and he said he was "just thinking". Finally he spit it out. He said he needed space and wanted to take a break because his schooling was bad, us fighting was stressing him out, and the fact that I wouldn't let go of some of the mistakes he made in the past. I have this awful feeling he cheated and it hurts so bad to think that he would do that. His whole family is pissed at him because of this and I don't know what to do. I can't stop crying because I feel so betrayed and hurt. I'm afraid that if he comes crying back to me that I will take him back. It's so hard to see myself without him and actually feel happy, because we hung out so much, and I got so close to him and his family. He's like no other bf I have ever had, and it hurts so bad to let him go, even though I know I have to and it will be better in the end. Can someone please tell me anyway that I can stay strong, stop crying, and get over this guy, because I cannot take all the pain he has out me through, and I know I deserve better. I feel that he is stringing me along and it hurts so bad to feel like that. Someone help please. (link)
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Hi there - sorry you had to see the 'proof' but so glad that you have the heart and self-esteem to walk away. Too many times women think the rotten guy is the 'only' one and do or say anything to keep them. Keep your head held high because no matter what, no one can say you were a bad person in this ever. If you went back to him he would continue to treat you shamefully and since you walked away from the situation he WILL think of you and that you were always a class act and he shouldn't have treated you that way. hugs to you!
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ok im in a lot of trouble...here it goes, me, one of my best friends staci and her cousin nick got drunk at a party at her house(were all 13 and this is our first time getting drunk)...her aunt let us drink...so me and nick had like 5,6 straight shots and staci only had like 2. so me and nick were smashed and staci was a lil drunk...we went on stacis trampoline and we finally fell and were just laying there...i dont know i was being weird and was saying shit like"i love you guys, your the best, im glad we did this together." and i looked over at nick and we started hooking up he had his hand on my ass and i didnt mind, i had my hands all over him(not on his dick or anything) and we were making out for a while, my other best friend jessica likes him alot. but i was so drunk to even remeber that. staci finally relized what was going on and pull us off of each other and we were like what are you doing stop..and then she started freaking out and was like i need to call jessica i need to call jessica..and nick was trying to talk to her and i was like nick i love you and he was like yea i love you to..and he looked over and gave me a lil kiss. well jessica came over to stacis house and put me to bed and i fell alseep
this is wat nick said to staci about wat happened
-he said i was ontop of him and he would of stopped but he couldnt(while we were hooking up he kept saying i love u to me and he could of said stop, so that was a lie)
-staic said someone was holding her hands down he said he wasnt(like i said my hands were all over him so his one hand that wasnt on my ass must of been holding her hands down)
so now staci and jessica hate me and they believe what nick says and he was lying and they wont believe me..i cant even look at them any more and i tried to tell them when you get drunk you dont really relize whats going on..and jessica said she asked her sister and her sister said that u do relize whats going on when your drunk im soo mad and upset at the same time..i dont know wat i can say to jessica and staci so they know im sorry and that i was drunk and it wasnt really my fault (link)
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Even if your version is the truth, the other girls don't want to believe this 'great' guy would do that and they don't have the self-esteem to dump him. The best thing you can do is just NEVER put yourself in that type of situation in the first place.
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My mother just recently died from lung cancer. She was just diagnosed on Sept. 15th of this year and she passed away on October 28th, 2005.
My boyfriend of several years had already told his spoiled rotten, self-centered, selfish daughter that she could have a Halloween party before the incident with my mother came up.
Instead of being here, supporting me, helping me make the needed arrangements and just being a shoulder to lean on, he decided it was more important to help out with his daughter's Halloween party, because everybody knows "Courtney" comes first....no matter what!
I think that's about as sorry as you can get. What do you think? (link)
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I'm so sorry for your loss. I agree with you that in this case it was wrong. He should have managed to be there for you and arrange a little smaller party for her. And I'm sure he could have gotten some other help with it, or maybe asked you to help (just a little) to help take your mind off your mom for just an hour or so. It sounds more like you just got a huge dose of what a jerk he is and maybe a lesson in that you don't want a future with someone who would ever treat you this way. I do believe that once you've had children they should come first but I'm positive there had to be some possible way to help you and not let down a small child either.
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okay so my boyfriend && i have been going out for 9 months now... he's a great boyfriend .. he has his days but i guess my dad doesnt think he respects me *thats just my dad trying to be protective* but anyways he wants me to give him head.. ive told him that im not ready bc i am only 14 but like he keeps on trying to get me to do it- i know that if he respects me he will understand but a part of me wants to && feels its the right time... number 1 i dont know how.. && number 2 i dont know if i should. am i too young and what would you do.. no smart ass comments either please keep them to yourself but i rate high (link)
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Sometimes they CAN be great boyfriends, but also at that age where getting any type of sex is more important to them. Good for you for saying no and if he keeps pressuring you and/or ends the relationship over it then you will see his true colors. Don't give in to any type of pressure and don't have any type of sex until you know it is right for you!
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I have a friend who just bought his first home. He told me that the mortgage was only going to be about 300 dollars a month.
I was suprised, I thought that the average mortgage was around 1000 dollars or more a month.
Does this mean that he has already paid for most of the house? Also he said the home was on 16 acres, do you think he paid a lot for it? (link)
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hi :) it depends on how much $ was put down and how much your friend financed. You can get an idea of how much he paid by looking at real estate advertisements for the same type of property, acreage, location. Or surf for your county's property tax assessor and some now let you actually look up the valuation. Remember that the value of anything is only worth what someone is willing and able to pay for it.
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What's wrong with me?
My parents think I'm strange and that I have something weird going on with me. "I have weird habits and a weird way of thinking."
Habits as in...counting the number of cracks I've stepped on, the times i circle around something, the seconds im in somewhere and if its not under a certain time then i..feel the need to start over..and then im yelled at when im still doing it ...I dunno. People think I'm retarded X___x I didn't notice that i was doing this stuff... i just do it because...its what i've always been doing..then people pointed it out. Its like ringing the doorbell a couple of times..before entering because..its just..there. I always think about something. I'm afraid of pain. I'm afraid to do P.E. in class. I'm afraid of running..tripping and landing on the ground..seeing blood or having my arm bend the wrong way or having my fingers crushed or having those bent the wrong way. It makes me sick. I don't want to twist my ankle or have a ball hit my face..because it might hit my ear piercings and those might rip out and hurt. I've got glue on eyelashes and I've just recently thought..what if i get the glue in my eye? My eyes will start to water and then i might get eye problems...might have to go see a doctor...and then i get awful images.. I dunno. I always worry a lot. Also.. my little sister was going across the street to a friends house...in my head I heard a loud crash..and had images of her lying in the street covered in blood and...blah. My boyfriend had this safety pin in his mouth...and it was open and for about 20 mins..he was talking with it still in his mouth..and all i could think about is.. what would happen if it cut him...or if he swallowed it and it got stuck..and i couldn't do a thing about it because there was no adult around.. argh. Am I stupid? (link)
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You have what some would call OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder) and almost everyone has it to a certain degree, But when it is affecting your life as much as you seem to be dwelling on it, you should see a counselor. There are mild medications that can help your mind 'let go' of those things. good luck.
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I'm setting up a campaign for people to see whats the difference (of thoughts/actions)in people that smoke and do not. If you are a smoker or a non-smoker, please answer these questions in which category you fit in. Oh, and please tell me if you are a smoker or a non-smoker. I'm doing this so I can hellp people with certain things. I can't ask anyone around because I don't speak thier language.
Smokers:
1. How do you feel if you don't smoke for a long period of time?
2.What has influenced you to smoke?
3. Have you noticed any differences since you began smoking?
4. About how many ciggarets do you smoke in 1 day?
5. Did you feel like you have upset anyone when you first started?
Non-smokers
1. How do you feel about people who smoke?
2. Would you ever consider to smoke? Why?
3. What is your reason not to smoke?
4. In your opinion, why is smoking bad for you?
5. What would your advice be if a smoker wants to quit?
Thanks in advance, I hope you guys don't mind. (link)
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Smoker...
1. I feel a little anxious and ready to take a break.
2. peer pressure... the social aspects, you find out a lot more info hanging out with smokers
3. in some ways a little more confident, as strange as that sounds. in some ways relaxed.
4. about one pack (20)
5. i'm sure i upset my mom, but it was a long time ago.
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i think it is possible to fall in love at 16 for sure i know excally how you feel too im 13 and i know i feel in love and he broke up with me and i still miss him (link)
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you're right... any age doesn't matter where your heart is concerned. Even when people tell you it's silly or whatever.... no matter what your mind is telling you, you can't help how you 'feel' inside. But this I can promise... there will be other loves and definitely better loves. One of the best lessons i've learned, is that when you are sad or grieving a loss, the best thing to do is to fully embrace it and experience it... get it all out - and then LET IT GO. You will be a better person inside and out. best wishes to you!
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Okay, ummm. I am 16 and my boyfriend of 5 months broke up with me in july. i was very heartbroken because i loved him very much. well i thought i did. people keep telling me it wasn't love, but i still think it was. my first question is is it possible to fall in love at the age of 15 with someone you only know well in the last 5 months? because people told me it was impossible but i think they are wrong.
my other question: I miss my ex very much and I really want to be with him again. The only problem is he has a girlfriend now. I have heard rumors that they wont last long. I want him to know that I still like him and want him back. How do I go about doing this in a way that may make me seem not desperate? should I wait until they break up or confess my love to him while he still has the other girl in hopes that he will break up with her for me?
oh yeah the reason he broke up with me was because he was going to be really busy and he didnt want me to have to wait around for him while he was busy and vice versa. (link)
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wow...it's really hard to do, because it requires patience and during that time, some better things might come along! I dated this guy "M" for 3 months and he just didn't show up for dinner one night. I was heartbroken, i really liked him and had no clue what, if anything i did wrong. Well... i kept my heartbreak to myself (and my closest girlfriends) took a long while, dated a couple of idiots, saw "M" at a few mutual friends get togethers like 1-2 a year, and then literally 4 yrs later I'm dating him again! It's been almost 6 months, we've never talked about what happened before... but we're happy so far!
you should just try moving on with your life, to a certain degree... maybe date, but not right out in front of him. let him see you out, here and there, but always looking like your having fun, and you're happy and successful.
silly as it sounds the ages don't matter, it's all the same game!! and I'm 40.
Good luck!
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lately my boyfriend has had girls all over him or at least tryin to be. i dont go to the same school as him or get to see him all the time. i see him like once every two weeks. anyways here is my problem he used to like this girl be4 he meet me. he asked her out and she wanted to except she didnt because she thought he was a big flirt so didnt. and now she is going back to liking him and she trys to be around him all the time. (from what he tells me) and i know that he likes her still because he still talks to her and flirts with her. (i know guys are big flirts) but lately i have been getting jealous that she can spend more time with him then i can. one more thing on top of that i barely get to talk to him on the phone anymore. his phone is ALWAYS busy. and he has his own line so his parents dont use it. i know for a fact that no guy can talk to another guy for over 2 hours. i want to tell him how i feel except i dont want him to think that i dont trust him. because i do i just dont know or want to know her or trust her. someone help me out!! please. (link)
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Tough situation girly! It's all a game... either he's trying to make you jealous, or wants to break up with you and is trying to get you to break up with him... or he's just an insensitive jerk. All's fair in love and war.... you should invent someone that's been flirting with you too.
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sorry it's so long, and please look at this in an open-minded manner, and i'm not looking for answers that say you're waiting for marriage so i'm a slut. i'll rate high if you tried, and low if you're ignorant.
my ex-boyfriend broke up in august and aren't dating exclusively, but we still hook-up from time to time. hooking up meaning having sex. we had sex today, and then i went to the movies with one of my close guy friends. we went back to my guy friend's house and we had sex. i really want to forget it ever happened and not tell anybody, though. the guy promised he wouldn't tell, and i trust him. the thing is, if it gets out somehow, and my ex-boyfriend finds out, he'll hate me. should i tell him or just let it slide? by the way, i'm on birth control and i only have sex with a condom. (link)
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ok... well sometimes that happens (2 guys in a short period of time) and it's good that you use a condom every single time - right? Don't tell the ex- he doesn't need to know that information it would only hurt his feelings and insult him. I'm a firm believe in "what they don't know, won't hurt them" You have to think about how you felt and if your ok with casual sex (hooking-up) that's one thing and it can be ok as long as you are safe. But consider the long range... someday when you are older do you want to look back and think you had sex with x number of guys, etc.
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ok my boyfriend is about 20 and i'm about 16 and my supposelly home girl is telling him that im messing around on him with his best friend but im not and i guess he's believing this because he doesn't want to talk to me or his friend honestly i'm not the type to be doing something that bad and i don't want to break up with him because i liked him for three years and i dont wanna hurt him in ne ways (link)
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your 'home girl' (i guess that means best friend?) isn't your friend. No true friend would ever say that to your boyfriend, whether it was true or not. So... looks like she has cost you a good boyfriend. I think you need to 'break up' with your home girl, especially if this guy is worth it.
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