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What's wrong with me?
My parents think I'm strange and that I have something weird going on with me. "I have weird habits and a weird way of thinking."
Habits as in...counting the number of cracks I've stepped on, the times i circle around something, the seconds im in somewhere and if its not under a certain time then i..feel the need to start over..and then im yelled at when im still doing it ...I dunno. People think I'm retarded X___x I didn't notice that i was doing this stuff... i just do it because...its what i've always been doing..then people pointed it out. Its like ringing the doorbell a couple of times..before entering because..its just..there. I always think about something. I'm afraid of pain. I'm afraid to do P.E. in class. I'm afraid of running..tripping and landing on the ground..seeing blood or having my arm bend the wrong way or having my fingers crushed or having those bent the wrong way. It makes me sick. I don't want to twist my ankle or have a ball hit my face..because it might hit my ear piercings and those might rip out and hurt. I've got glue on eyelashes and I've just recently thought..what if i get the glue in my eye? My eyes will start to water and then i might get eye problems...might have to go see a doctor...and then i get awful images.. I dunno. I always worry a lot. Also.. my little sister was going across the street to a friends house...in my head I heard a loud crash..and had images of her lying in the street covered in blood and...blah. My boyfriend had this safety pin in his mouth...and it was open and for about 20 mins..he was talking with it still in his mouth..and all i could think about is.. what would happen if it cut him...or if he swallowed it and it got stuck..and i couldn't do a thing about it because there was no adult around.. argh. Am I stupid?
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Want to answer more questions in the Health & Fitness category?
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YOU ARE NOT STUPID! I repeat, YOU ARE NOT STUPID! Remember that. However, you may have OCD [Obsessive Compulsive Disorder] and Anxiety Disorder. Those are not disorders that mean mental handicaps, it simply means that you're naturally a worrier and compulsive.
Everyone does "weird" things. Trust me. I would know. For instance :
My boyfriend always takes his shoes off before he goes into his room. He will also sit and watch the clock, counting the seconds in groups of five. (One, two, three, four, five. One, two, three, four, five.)
I enjoy studying things that are 'weird,' and usually have something to do with death or torture or sickness. IE : Holocoust, Polio, Black Death, Roman Government (haha), Leprosy, Treacher-Collins Syndrome, etc. These things are not "normal" for a teenaged girl to study.. in fact, it's not normal for a teenaged girl to want to study something outside of school. Haha... although I do not sit and count the seconds on a clock, I do like to watch my lava lamp. I'm an obsessive-compulsive reader though. If it has words on it, I've probably read it at least once. The first thing I did when I got an account here on Advicenators was read the FAQ. I read nutrition facts on cans, the warnings on nail polish remover, the information packet on super glue.. and so on. I feel the need to read it myself. I do not learn if someone else reads it to me though. I can't listen to the directions for the Algebra lesson, I need to read it myself in order to understand it. I even have a hard time with books on tape. I can't stand to take off shoes without untying them. I don't like to eat when my hair is down, and once I put a jacket / hoodie on, it is quite unlikely that it will come off.
You're basically the same way - just a little more so.
As for the worrying, that's normal. Although yours is a tad bit extreme, it's still worry. You think ahead and plan for the worst, as in PE class - you think you'll fall and break your leg or something. Try to relax and come to terms with your fears - it is very unlikely that you'll break your leg during PE class, right? Have you ever seen it happen?
I don't like it when people put safety pins in their mouth. What an oxymoron, eh? It's not really safe if it's in your mouth! Next time, tell him to take the thing out of his mouth. Try learning the Heimlich Manouver. I don't think that is spelled correctly, but it's definitely worth knowing. And CPR. Maybe take a course in CPR, I think the Red Cross does them; so do most hospitals.
I know you're worried about your sister, but she'll be fine. There's little chance that she will be hurt.
Glue in your eyelashes? Weird place to put glue. Don't put it there next time. ;)
A fear of doctors is quite normal. I absolutely detest doctors. I hate the thought of going to one. I have injured my knee though, and have needed to go see doctors. I was so terrified. Not because I might have to go through physical therapy or worse - have surgery, I was scared that I'd have to put on the cheesey little paper robe. YES! I ADMIT IT! I am shy and do not like to be in anything less than knee-length shorts and a t-shirt. I don't even like tank tops! I was so afraid. I wore shorts, even though the high was like 57, just so there'd be less of a chance of me needing to .... uh, take off my shorts, you know. Then I had to have an MRI... I was trying to do Algebra while waiting, but it was useless - I was so afraid. I was afraid that I'd be forced to put on the paper robe for the whole time of the MRI. [ It lasted about 30 minutes, which would be a very long time in just paper!] However, I was allowed to keep my shorts on, I only had to take my watch off and my shoes off. The last time I went to the doctor, being actually sick, not just in pain, I had the flu and pneumonia. I would rather jump into an outdoor pool during the winter than go to a doctor. Oh yeah.
I'm not as afraid as you are of things though. Once I put paperclips in my ears instead of earrings. That was cool. It hurt a little, but not bad. I'm just a little weird like that.
Blood does not bother me. I can watch Dr. G : Medical Examiner on the Discovery Health channel while eating supper.
I'm a little afraid of running and tripping on my own shoelaces. I always make sure my shoes are tied tightly and knotted well. This fear is because once I was running (in the road, no less!) and tripped on my shoelace, which had come untied. I scraped my knee badly, I even had a small rock stuck in it. (It was a gravel road) But it wasn't anything the camp nurse couldn't fix... yes, I did that at camp. Smart, eh?
But the blood didn't - doesn't - bother me.
I could not be a cutter though. I just... I don't handle pain very well. At all. I won't play paintball with a friend of mine because, DUH! -- it would hurt! A different friend tried to convince me to try skateboarding. I used his board, and mastered the whole going straight and turning thing, but I am WAY too scared to try kick flips and ollies and stuff. I'm too scared I'll fall on my butt and break my tail bone, or land on my knee and break or dislocate my knee cap. However, I love horses. I own five and ride as often as my knee permits. [which, lately, is not very often] Horses are dangerous. I'll admit that. I've fallen off many times. I've been bucked at, bucked off, reared at, kicked, bitten and stepped on. But I still love the half-ton creatures. I don't know why. It's just a pre-disposition. When I do ride, I ride bareback (without a saddle) and I only use a halter and a lead rope (nothing strong enough to control most horses, it's what you lead a horse with). See, you're not all that weird. I'm weird too. We can be weird together!
You should research OCD and Anxiety Disorder to find out more. Maybe you could see a doctor -- that will help you fully understand why your brain has these pre-dispositions and how to control them. :)
Best wishes,
-FunnyCide
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Some of those things point toward symptoms of OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder). Now I am in now way a psychologist, so I am not going to tell you that you have it, but I will say you have symptoms of it so you can take it from there.
If you have OCD, some major signs of it are the things you do. They're called "rituals". Pretty much its a thing you do, a certain way everytime, that if you don't do you'll have anxiety (having to go back and do it again). The whole ringing doorbells is a common one. Maybe not doorbells, but doing stuff a couple times like locking doors, closing windows, whatever. You should say something to your doctor though, that way you can get a professional to tell you what is wrong.
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I think you might have a thing called Asberger's Syndrome. I think this because my brother has it and I've read books on the subject. I know little about other things so I could be wrong but it really sounds like you have it.
If you get a MRI you can be diagnosed.
Hope I helped!!
!~*becca*~!
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You have what some would call OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder) and almost everyone has it to a certain degree, But when it is affecting your life as much as you seem to be dwelling on it, you should see a counselor. There are mild medications that can help your mind 'let go' of those things. good luck.
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It sounds like Obsessive Compulsive Disorder & Anxiety Disorder, talk to your school therapist & then pursue therapy with a licensed psychiatrist. I have mild OCD, and my mother has a moderate case, it doesn't mean you're stupid. You're just wired a little differently, but it's something that can be controlled with treatment.
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The counting, etc. looks like OCD [Obsessive compulsive disorder]. But I'm not a doctor so just take that as something to research and consider.
You AREN'T stupid. It just looks like you worry and think about the "what if's" wayy too much. I would suggest talking to a school therapist, and possibly a doctor. There are things they can do to help you!! (=
♥ Melissa
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No you're not stupid but your parents are right in being worried about you. It sounds to me as if you may have something called obsessive compulsive disorder. This is when you feel compelled to do certain habits and you have to do them over and over again until you are satisfied. It also sounds as if you may be a bit paranoid in certain situations and imagining the worst outcomes that could happen. You can get help for all this from your doctor. Talk to your parents about this and say that you'd like to get some help for this and ask if they'll go to the doctors with you. Good luck
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I wasn't going to answer this question because your problem is profoundly obvious to me and I figured ten other people would already have told you.
Then I checked the advice already given to you, and nobody has hit upon it.
Although I think it's the exception to the rule that people who submit descriptions of themselves turn out to actually be suffering from a disorder, I believe you are.
I'll bet dollars to donuts you are suffering from OCD: Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. See a psychiatrist. There is medication that will help eliminate your obsessive thoughts and compulsive behaviors.
Congratulations for being smart enough to seek help online. The next step is to take my advice and make an appointment with a psychiatrist. IF YOU AREN'T COMFORTABLE TALKING TO A PSYCHIATRIST, THEN AT THE VERY LEAST, MAKE AN APOINTMENT TO SEE YOUR FAMILY PHYSICIAN. Some problems can't be resolved through sheer willpower, and this is one of them. Go see a doctor.
Please!
Dr. Chad
Update: I see a few other people after me have also advised you to find out if you have OCD. I'm glad I'm not the only one who picked up on it. Take our advice and get it checked out!!!!
Dr. Chad
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I totally know what you mean. I always replay situations in my head and I'm like what-if this happened then what-if that then this and that and all over again. I'm paranoid about the dumbest things. My remote control has to be facing a certain way or else I feel like something bad will happen. Same way with my cell phone. It's weird, but just know you're not alone!
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Hi There,
You have made the very first step, and that is talking about it to someone. You might want to talk to your parents or a close friend about this. Secondly when you look in the mirror you have to look at the entire book, not just
the cover. Meaning the qualities that you think you might lack on the outside, you may exceed on the inside.With your parents permission if you have the means to do so, maybe you might want to try a new hair style or different clothing that might make you feel better about
yourself. Maybe you might want to get involved in an after school activity or hobby that makes you feel like you are accomplishing something? Anything that makes you feel like you are worth something. Think about things you are good at
doing, such as drawing, writing poetry, music, etc. Once you actually feel like you are accomplishing things, you may feel better about yourself. But first you must accept and like yourself before anyone else can accept and like you back. When you have confidence in yourself, it shows on the outside, and people tendto respect you more for that.Sometimes however we need a little help in reaching that goal of liking ourselves. So my biggest suggestion to you, is to talk to someone about this. Just like you did here.Have a little faith in yourself, and accept yourself for who and what you are. I'm sure there is a beautiful person in there somewhere. You just need to find her.I hope this helps you. And I wish you all the best. If it's any help to you, I think your a beautiful person and I don't even know you. I can tell just from your words.
Takecare
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First of all, your not stupid. Don't say that about yourself ever again. Words are very powerful and if you say something often enough to yourself your subconcious will begin to believe it and your life will unfold around this statement. There are some steps you can take that can help you get over these feelings of helplessness. You need to start taking charge of your life. Start a workout program of some kind. Pick something that you know you would enjoy. You need to buld up your confidense in P.E. class. Join a team, learn a sport. Oh, and by the way, once you scape a knee, you'll see that it doesn't hurt as much as you thought it would. No one likes pain, by the way, but, sometimes you have to experience a little pain to have one of the most exilarating moments in a life time. Don't let these thoughts rule you. Rule your thoughts. When thoughts pop up in your mind that you don't want to think about, reprogram. Start seeing yourself running without tripping. When you envision a ball coming towards your face, see yourself catching the ball or blocking it with your arms (this won't hurt I promise). Instead of seeing your sister hit by a car, change your vision to her crossing the street happily and with joy (even when your mad at her). Learn CPR. The red cross teaches it for free twice a year. Call your local chapter and take the course. This way if your boyfriend swallows that pin, you will know what to do. Be in control of your life. Be in control of your thoughts. Don't let the fear control you. Fear is all consuming. Once you beat the fear you will see how powerless it truly is. Right now you've given up your power to the fear. One technique that helped me overcome the fear is this one. Whenever I have a list of things to do, I do the things on the list I least want to do first and work my way up to the things I want to do. This is great practice for getting those painful things out of the way quickly. Your life will be more enjoyable if you do. Once you face a fear and work your way through it you will see how silly it was to be afraid in the first place.
Good Luck!
LULABELLE
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You're fine. Lots of people do that kind of stuff. It's very normal to worry a lot. What's happening here is you're daring to say what other people refuse to admit about themselves. Most people deny that they do these things or feel this way making it so that they believe they actually don't. You are being very honest with yourself. The fact that you wear glue on eyelashes is a little eccentric, but everybody has their own tastes and styles, so it's not like there's anything wrong with that either. I think that it's a very good thing that you can admit to having these types of feelings. You don't need to see a counselor or anything because it seems like you have yourself completely under control. If a situation arises where you feel like you are losing control of yourself or are becoming depressed or stressed to a very high level because of these things, then it's probably a good idea to talk to someone about it. Otherwise just try to relax a little. There are a lot of people out there that do the things you do and feel the way you feel, so don't worry about yourself, just be yourself. Good luck!
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