ccupcake07's advice column

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Q: today i got a subpoena and it is telling me i have to appear in court. when you get a subpoena does that mean you are in trouble or someone else is in trouble and you are a witness or what? am i in trouble?

You just have to sit there and listen to both sides and tell them your opinion i'm pretty sure. My brother had to go do that and that's what he did. Hope this helps!

Q: Ok i met this guy a month ago and he's really nice and funny, we would talk online EVERYDAY for 3-6 hours and also we would call and text each other a lot we would flirt and sweet to eachother he likes me back too and i used to be so happy and i get the butterflies when i see him and smile a lot and stuff, and i used to be crazy about him (not obssessed) and miss him a lot, but when he started saying "i love you" i dont feel that much anymore when i see him i just smile a little bit and i dont have to butterflies anymore i dont know why but i suddenly and started to lose interest a little bit i dont know why because he's funny, nice and everything am i losing interest or what?

I think that you still like him but when he said i love you, you really didn't feel it back. You might like a guy so much but not love him, and that's okay because i know how you feel. Next time he tells you he loves you, just tell him that you like him a whole lot but you don't love him yet. He should understand if he really likes you. If he dosen't say it again, then i think everything will get back to normal. Hope this helps!

Q: School starts tomorrow and I'm exstreamly nervous. I always get nervous and I don't know why, I hate being nervous but thats just how I am, I was wondering is there a way to boost my confidence up from not being nervous about going to the eighth grade??? I'm so nervous it feels like I'm going to throw up. Please help me.

I get nervous like that too. You just have to remember that it's just school and in a couple days things will go back to normal and be just like it used to be. You will see your friends again and it will be like there was never a summer between you. My first day of sophmore year was last tuesday and i was really nervous that morning, my stomach was hurting and everything but once i got to school, evrything turned out okay. Hope this helps!

Q: For the past two to three months I've been having nightmares. Sometimes they're just off the wall, other times they're about things that are on my mind. I get enough sleep, but I sleep really late. I eat well and exercise. I don't get stressed out, but my dreams are always about underlying thoughts that bother me.

What can I do so I can just get a peaceful night's rest for once?

Right before you go to bed, make sure you are thinking happy thoughts, watch a funny movie or something so when you go to bed, you will still be thinking about that. Maybe you should try a sleeping pill to. Hope this helps!

Q: okay, i got my ears peirced a week ago today..and they still kinda hurt. they sometimes itch a little bit at the bottom of the lobe. and whenever i turn them, they kinda hurt..like kinda sting, and kinda pinch. i wouldnt turn them, but the lady that peirced them said that i have to or they'll grow over or something. and after i turn them, they hurt. my mom said it's probobly because im sleeping on them. but whats really wrong with my ears?

Get some ear peircing liquid they give you in the store when you get them done. They do that sometimes when you haven't had them peirced for very long. Make sure you turn them everyday. Hope this helps!

Q: here

1 how do i apply concealer and THEN foundation over it? will it not look CAKEY? isnt it tooo much? how do i make my face look flawless with those two? instead of making it look like im wearing "Too much makeup"

2 whats a really cheap no 20 dollars is NOT CHEAP for like a foundation primer? under ten dollars only i desperately need one [p.s. I DONT HAVE A JOB!]

3 WHATS a lipgloss you girlies would recomment that has a nice smooth application and nice color , lasts ALL DAY IS A MUST, and does NOT fade?

4 IF i had the bright colors of eyeshadow, how can i play it up with my eyes? i dont wanna look like A PARROT!

thanks, please take your time to answer im tryina be good with make up.

if you have any more tips and tricks and like secrets about makeup, please share them with me =]

love,
soon to be makeup artist =]!

1.Dot the concelaer under your eyes and rub it in. Then when it's all rubbed in, you can out your foundation over that. I wear that every day and i don't cake make up on at all. Just don't go over board with the foundation.

2.Bare minerals and cover girl have some, i'm not sure how much cover girl's cost but bare minerals is $13 which is over your budget but only by $3.

3.COVERGIRL. They have some lip gloss that has a color on one end and a clear part on the other and you put the color on first and then the clear and it stays on all day.

4.You could put a medium dark color on your eyes and a darker color over that. Like, the dark just make one line on top of the medium color.

Hope this helps!

Q: im having a sleepover with my friends and want to rent some scary movies. since we dont watch them all the time we want movies that arent horribly scary but more scary than prom night, which was not scary at all, even to a wimp like me. any suggestions??

One missed call
shutter
distubia
the strangers
silence of the lambs
the omen
Hope this helps!

Q: in your opinion, which is better: an ipod or a zune? also, which lasts longer? i need a new one and i want something that will last me years.

My friend has a zune and she likes it alot. It has cool pictures on it and you can personalize it and everything and she always has alot of fun with it so thats what i would recommend.

Q: whats better bare miinerals or sheercover makeup?

why and why not?

thanks

I like bare ninerals because it gives your face a really smooth look. It also covers up most blemishes and things you don't want people to see. Hope this helps!

Q: I would really like people to explain to me, what you personally feel like love is. I'm not saying I'm in love, I just want to know what everyone thinks it is and how they describe it. I would like to know maybe stuff he does, or the way you feel, did it last? did you get hurt?

I know this sounds completely pointless, but everyone askes if their in love, I just want to know how other people see love through their eyes.

Thanks sorry if this makes no sense :)

Love is when your heart gets excited every time you see him or her coming your way or talking to you. It's when you can't get enough of each other and when your heart feels safe and free towards that person. When you can just be your self around that person, that's when you love them. Hope this helps!

Q: i just got my hair cut and its a little shorter than i had wanted but its okay, it will grow. it falls just on my shoulders, like just barely and its layered kinda a lot. my hair is wavy but not like the kind that you can do anything with, when it gets wet and it dries, it gets huge haha, like it just doesnt look good. then because its wavy it doesnt go back in a ponytail very well. i tried to scrunch my hair for the first time since its been cut and it didnt go to well. can someone with possibly the same situation as me, give me step by step instructions on how to get my hair to scrunch... and anyone with tips for short hair please give them

Alright when i scrunch my hair, i

1. Run a little gel through my hair

2. Spray aussie scrunch spray on my hair and start scrunching it

3. Spray hairspray on it so it stays that way.

Make sure you put enough scrunch spray in your hair so it will scrunch better. Hope this helps!

Q: Hello..You responded to my posting of being being involved with a man 20 years older than me and married. Well, you seemed very open and honest. That is why I decided to fill you in a little bit more and see what you think. I really don't think I am just a young piece of booty for him because we do talk a lot and he has traveled all the way to see me just for a few minutes with no intention of sex. However, he did have another affair before me. That one only lasted a few months and it was right before he met me. He said he was faithful to his wife for 18 years before starting to open his eyes to another woman. He says he is sick of trying to be intimate with his with and always getting pushed away..I really don't know what to believe. Am I just really stupid??

No, your not stupid. You are just looking out for yourself. :). I would make sure i fully trust him before i go to the next step with him. If he had an affair before you what makes you think he won't do it again?? I would just make sure you know the real him before you go futher. Get to know him and date around a little with him but the first sign of weirdness between you and him, i would test it. He might be telling you the full truth and he might be a great guy, and your gut instinct is usually right so if you say that he is into you for YOU and nothing else, then be happy together. I'm sure you will make the right choice. I don't know if this helps any or not but i hope it does. If you have any other questions, you can email me again.

Q: 15/F

okay so normally i dont really care about these things.
But its happened so often i think its time i do something about this.
Beofore i even get to explaining it i want you to know that breaking up is NOT an option for me.

Whenever im on the phone with my boyfriend and he has his friend or cousins over.
He NEVER talks to me, he just talks to the people hes in the rooom with, and leaves me holding the phone to my ear and looksing stupid.
yesterday, i hung up because it was getting really annoying, and it took him ten minutes to realize i hung up, and only THEN did he call me backk.
Then he just does the same thing over again.
Every now and then he would say
"sorry"
or
"uhh ... hang in a second" and then goof around or talk to the other people in the room for like twenty minutes!
While I, again, am STILL on the line.
Or whenever i would try and get him talking, he would be like "......sorry what?" over and over again.
If your going to call me, TALK TO ME.
I dont know any way else to put it.
It really makes me mad, i think hes trying to impress me with the face that he has an awesome life of laughter and friends.
And i really think thats good, but when my boyfriend calls me, i want to talk to him.
He can goof around later.
Now, i love him very much and hes really sensitive to what i say ...
but this has just got to stop.
He also is different in front of his friends in front of me.
He'll goof around with them, and call me when i even HEAR hes having a good time:
then later on he'll be like
"Ugh (so and so) is so annoying i hate him, i only hang out with his cuz i feel bad"
or something like that
Please give me any solutions?

Okay, i would just tell him to stop doing that because whenever he calls you he is supposed to talk to you. If you don't want to say that to him, next time he does that, hang up and when he calls back say, "You were to busy talking to your friends, when you call me, talk to me, don't just keep me there on line while your talking to someone else!" Hopefully he will get the message that you want him to stop. Also, if that dosen't work, do the same thing to him and if he says anything about it, say,"well thats what you do to me!" Just tell him how you feel and if he likes you enough, he will quit. Hope this helps!

Q: Heres the scoop. I have a boyfriend. We have been dating for about a month. My rents are "old school" and seem to think that if you have a boyfriend, you cant have boy friends. So, i have to choose between my boyfriend (which means losing all my guy friends) or my guy friends (which means losing my boyfriend). I dont know what to do. What should i do

I would talk to your parents and tell them that you like to hang out with guys better because you don't get in drama and you are more comfortable around them. Tell them they are your really good friends and you can't lose them. If they understand, then wala. If they don't let you keep both, i would go with my friends because friends last forever, boyfriends don't. Hope this helps!

Q: I'm not really sure how to start this so I'm just going to jump right in...

I was in a very abusive relationship for about 2 years, the guy hit me and would call me fat and just a lot of really bad things that I don't like to talk about.

Well, I got out of that relationship and it's been about a year and a half almost 2 years since then but I'm still having a very hard time with guys.

Every guy I've met (since the ex that abused me) stops talking to me. I always seem to scare them off I think. And I think it's because I'm very scared of guys and I tend to overreact over things because of it.

Any time a guy I meet does something my ex used to do I get scared because I'm so afraid of being adused again and being in a bad relationship like that so I freak out.

Like for instance the last guy I tried to talk to, he wanted me to "open up to him" because he said I seemed so sad and he wanted to know why. So I let my gaurd down and I told him SOME of the things that happened. Well, after I told the guy he started acting different before he left my house and he didn't call me when he got home, but he said he'd text me in the morning, well it was about 11am and he didnt text or call so I started texting him telling him how stupid i was for opening up to him and how he's acting different and he got really mad at me saying he was sleeping and how he doesn't understand how he was acting different. Well, we were fighting almost all day but I said I was sorry and things SEEMED fine because I thought we worked it out. But then after that he stopped talking to me... I tired texting him but he never responded and when I saw him he acted like he didn't know me so I started to do the same.

My question is, how do I stop scaring good guys off just because of what one bad guy did to me? I don't like people thinking I'm crazy, I'm not I'm just very scared and push people away. But I do just want to be liked and I'd like to be in a good relationship and I feel like just because of that one bad one it's ruined my chances and I feel like I don't even know how to act anymore around people. The abusive guy was my first bf, and I did sleep with him and not really by choice (not sure if that matters.) It was just very bad and my self esteem got very low. Does anyone have any suggestions? (sorry this is so long...)

Well, the guy should like you for you and if that guy told you to open up and you did, he shouldn't be acting different and weird like he is. He may not be the right one for you. They guy that is right for you will come along and understand everything you've been through and accept you for you are and the person that you are. Just be yourself and don't think you are scaring them away because it's just them being like that. It's them. Not you.
Hope this helps!

Q: For the past month or so, my best friend has been at soccer camp. There, she met a boyfriend, and from what I understand, they hang out together all day long.

I've been talking to her recently, and I noticed a change for the worse. Her new attitude towards life is "EFF it all".

School is starting soon, so I asked the typical "What are you going to wear for the first day?"
And her response was "I don't really give a crap. It doesn't matter. I'm just going to school to get good grades and do well in soccer".

That has basically been her response to any subject I have raised whether it be school, the people there, life. I commend her for being so determined, I guess, but I think she has a really bad attitude. And I want to talk about silly girl things, or where we want to go in life without getting a harsh "I don't give a crap." or the underlying belief

"I'm going to make the state soccer team, I don't care about other stupid teenagers. Just me and my boyfriend. No one understands me" etc. etc.

It is possible this could change when we actually get back to school since she her boyfriend lives across the country, and while she'll still play soccer, it's not 24/7.

What do I do? What can I do?

Well if her boyfriend lives across the country she probably will change back to who she was before. When you talk to her, it will just come back naturally. If she dosen't, then act like she is acting if she asks you a question or something and if she's like "gosh, why the bad attitude?" Then you can tell her that's the way she's been acting and tell her what you feel. If you don't want to do that then the next time she gives a remark like that just say, why are you so negative all the time anymore? Just talk to her and tell her what you feel and i'm sure she will come around. It might just be a phase. My friend went through a phase like that and i talked to her about it and she eventually came around. Hope this helps!

Q: I was wondering if anyone knew any songs that had to do with hating boys and how you don't need them. I have a few that I know but I need more. I'm going through a really tough break up and songs always help me out. That'd be awesome, I'd really appreciate it.

For example: Ones I have currently are:
Last Thing by Diana Anaid
I Dont Wanna Be In Love by Good Charlotte

Seven things- Miley cyrus

Q: So I was cleaning out my room one day and I found my Nintendo Ds. I got it for one of my birthdays, from my parents. So I was on the phone with a guy I really like/love and so I offered it to him because I didn't want it anymore and I new he was looking gor one online. So I gave him it and a few games a few days after I found it. Now my dad keeps asking where it is. I keep lying and saying my friends are borrowing it. He says I need to get it back. When I asked if it would be ok with him if I gave it away as sombodys bday present he automatically said "No". He was like " If you arn't going to play it then give it back to me!" and that really got me mad because the only reason he wants it is so he can play it! I'm afraid to tell anybody. I am going to tell my mom but then I still have to tell my dad. How can I be less scared and tell him? I already know he will most likely ground me for it.

I would tell him the truth and if he lets you let your boyfriend keep them, say thanks. If he dosen't he might help you get a way to get them back. Hope this helps!

Q: i have this friend i sit with at lunch, when her friends are there, i don't really have trouble finding something to say. but like today, they werent, i couldn't really find much to say. i just kept asking random questions after a short pause of every other minute. i didnt really use to talk much, so im not very good at communicating and keeping conversations going. like later on i thought of alot more i couldve said at lunch that i didnt. it wouldve helped if she tryed to start a conversation with me but she didnt. well, im getting better at conversating, i just got to do it more. but what are some tips on keeping the conversation going? and can you give me any ideas of what to say. like please dont say tell her a compliment. maybe you could tell me some questions i can ask? ugh, can you tell me what you say to start convos with your friends, that would help. this year i just got my confidence back, so im not really shy like i was. plus i want to change, haha.

You could just ask her things like "do you have any pets, siblings, etc..." Then you can keep the conversation going by adding on to what she says like "yeah i have a dog." Then you could say "Oh, yeah, so do i, what kind do you have?" ETC. Things like that can keep the convo going. Hope this helps!

Q: I want to start doing random acts of kindness to the people around me each day (basically my community). I know they are important to my life and I really want them to know that I appreciate having them around.

Some people I'd like to do these acts for don't really know me at all, but they are constantly around me (like coworkers and acquaintances I see daily but don't really talk to). I want to brighten their lives a little though so they know that somebody out there appreciates them being around.

Anyway, can I have ideas for random acts of kindness to various people in my daily routine?

Some ideas on how to remain anonymous would be nice too.

Well you can always start by giving them compliments. They help boost their self-esteem and it makes them feel better about theirselves. Also, one day you could buy them a snack and just drop it by like it was no big deal. For example, you could make a cake and cut slices of it and ask people if they want a peice. You could just say, "Hey would you like some of this cake i made last night?" Just some things like that make people say "Aww, she's nice." or "Aww, he's nice." Hope this helps!

bio

Hey Everyone! I am on the computer a lot and if you and questions or concerns, you can send me a message here on advicenators and i will answer as quickley as possible. I give honest answers but am not to harsh on people. You can ask me any kind of question and i will answer it! Ask away! Thanks!