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humorist-workshop
two faced boyfriend??
15/F
okay so normally i dont really care about these things.
But its happened so often i think its time i do something about this.
Beofore i even get to explaining it i want you to know that breaking up is NOT an option for me.
Whenever im on the phone with my boyfriend and he has his friend or cousins over.
He NEVER talks to me, he just talks to the people hes in the rooom with, and leaves me holding the phone to my ear and looksing stupid.
yesterday, i hung up because it was getting really annoying, and it took him ten minutes to realize i hung up, and only THEN did he call me backk.
Then he just does the same thing over again.
Every now and then he would say
"sorry"
or
"uhh ... hang in a second" and then goof around or talk to the other people in the room for like twenty minutes!
While I, again, am STILL on the line.
Or whenever i would try and get him talking, he would be like "......sorry what?" over and over again.
If your going to call me, TALK TO ME.
I dont know any way else to put it.
It really makes me mad, i think hes trying to impress me with the face that he has an awesome life of laughter and friends.
And i really think thats good, but when my boyfriend calls me, i want to talk to him.
He can goof around later.
Now, i love him very much and hes really sensitive to what i say ...
but this has just got to stop.
He also is different in front of his friends in front of me.
He'll goof around with them, and call me when i even HEAR hes having a good time:
then later on he'll be like
"Ugh (so and so) is so annoying i hate him, i only hang out with his cuz i feel bad"
or something like that
Please give me any solutions?
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
As a guy myself, this REALLY sounds like a STRANGE relationship to me!
You say you're 15. How old is he? Okay, I'm an old man, but I'll offer my cent-and-a-half to this.
You know, we guys really do some stupid immature things about our girlfriends when we are young! I never realized how much I loved my childhood sweetheart until a few decades AFTER we broke up, and then I could not get her off of my mind and I still cannot get her off of my mind. Well, she has a family now, so it's too late!
As for your boyfriend, I do not know what his story is, but you definitely need to have a sit-down intimate talk with your boyfriend. He has to know beforehand when you sit down with him that this is a serious discussion because you care as much for him as you do. But then you're 15, and you have not matured enough to recognize a serious relationship yet, which does not mean that I am saying your relationship is NOT mature and possibly long-term or even permanent.
You see, mothers do not raise their boys, do not teach them about female relationships so the boys can grow into mature men! We are just "expected" to learn it all with girlie magazines and male instincts! Where it would be more than helpful to orient us to having a mature, substantial relationship with a special girl or (later) woman, most mothers would rather that we just grow up on our own. So your boyfriend may not yet recognize your relationship for what it is.
As well, he might have a completely different view about your relationship, and he might not be really ready for a mature romantic relationship!
There are too many things you have to learn and too many things for me to tell that come over time through tears and rejoiceful moments that I cannot really assess this or give suggestions. Just consider what I have already said.
And good luck.
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Okay, i would just tell him to stop doing that because whenever he calls you he is supposed to talk to you. If you don't want to say that to him, next time he does that, hang up and when he calls back say, "You were to busy talking to your friends, when you call me, talk to me, don't just keep me there on line while your talking to someone else!" Hopefully he will get the message that you want him to stop. Also, if that dosen't work, do the same thing to him and if he says anything about it, say,"well thats what you do to me!" Just tell him how you feel and if he likes you enough, he will quit. Hope this helps!
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tell him when he calls you the next time with friends or cousins in the room with him tell him babe im sorry but i see your being occupied at the moment do you think you could call me back later when i have your full attention because its a little annoying to have to wait for to get to talk to you. You have to tell him what your feeling thats good he has a life but he doesn't have to like brag about it.
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Have you told him face to face how annoying it is? And how it's driving you crazy?
It doesn't sound like something to break up about. Just tell him what you wrote here. Confront the problem, discuss, and BOTH come up with ways to solve it.
cheers,
stargirl
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My boyfriend does the same thing. I will be on the phone with him to the wee hours of the morning and we might say like ten words to each other. His cousin is always there and they are always messin around. My mum is not very pleased with it but, what i do is say
"hey look, i am not going to hold the telly up to my ear for 3 hours to hear you and your cousin blabbering about who won COD4. If your not going to talk to me than dont waste my time."
Its mean but he always comes back with
"baby, im sorry. and then he normally leaves the room his cousin is in."
Boys need to set their priorities straight, and sometimes the girls dont come first.
I know you said ending the courtship isnt an option, but if he keeps ignoring you and not putting you first, it has to come to an end.
I hope this helps
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