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a guy
there is this guy who is a bit older than i am (we're both in college) and he works at the library ... in order to borrow anything from them i have to go through the reserve desk and that's where he works.... so anyhow... i've been doing everything: eye contact smiles everything... i've only gotten to the point where he realizes that i am interested and he acknowledges. he flirted a couple of times the day before but the next day there was less eye contact (though he would acknowledge my presence by smiling or looking or smiling to himself when i look over) i don't want to seem desperate or basically young and clingy but thats the way i feel when i see him... my stomach goes in knots and i can't help but look to see if he is there (he is a master's candidate and i am a senior- he pointed that out casually to "us" and my research group when we wanted to borrow projector equipment and so on).....
what should i do? i mean how do i get him to do something? and what should i say to him while returning stuff... what kind of small talk should i initiate?? AND HOW DO I KNW HE LIKES ME! i am Hispanic so i have a very small waistline and small bust and hugeeee thighs and knees (pear shaped) compared to the proportions of Caucasians which makes me feel very very conscious ... i am really confused i mean how do i tell if he finds me unattractive?!?!?!
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
When you start a conversation with him, just be yourself. If you try to be someone else, he might end up liking someone who isn't YOU.
Here's some flirting tips if you want them:
1. Smile! If you're not smiling, chances are the guy won't be interested.
2. Don't always talk about yourself, let him talk about himself, too! Balance the conversation. Yes, conversations are a HUGE way to flirt more indirectly ;].
3. Think about what you do. Don't just blindly go around flirting with everyone. Some people don't want to flirt, and you can tell by their body language, facial expressions, etc.
4. Be nice. I can't tell you how many times I've seen girls be complete bitches. It's SO irritating. If you're not nice, then it isn't worth the effort. Guys don't like bitches.
5. BE YOURSELF! I know you said not to say this, but as the above question told you, if you aren't yourself- who are you going to be? You aren't being truthful with the guy if you're making up things about yourself or you're doing things you normally wouldn't do. The guy will get the wrong impression and may like something about you that isn't even a part of you.
6. HAVE FUN! If you aren't at least doing that, I don't know what to tell you ;]
And here's how you'll know if he could possibly like you:
1. They don't call you "sexy". They call you "beautiful", "gorgeous", "amazing", etc.
2. They make an effort to hug you. They might high-5 instead, but it really depends on the guy in question.
3. They DO find any reason to touch you in some way. Mostly it ISN'T in a sexual way. Its more of just an excuse to remember what you feel like, I guess. Its hard to explain...
4. He is always smiling around you. If you're feeling bad and he's around- he'll be smiling because he knows that he's there to help you- and that's like brownie points for a guy if they can help a girl out. That, like the above, is hard to explain.
5. He'll tell you things about himself that he normally wouldn't tell everyone. He opens up to you. Guys don't get a chance to do that when pressured to "be manly".
6. If you have a feeling that a guy likes you- you're probably right. Guys aren't the best at hiding it- and girls are even better at figuring these type of things out.
And as a side note, he may have stopped flirting because after all, he is working, and it's a little unprofessional. See if you can ask him on a "date" to go see a movie or something?
--Jack
(16/m)
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Ask him about his work as a masters candidate. And if he starts to really get into the conversation (i.e. becomes more animated, etc) ask if he would like to talk some more about it over coffee.
It's taking the initiative but not a very strong one. It lets him know that you're interested and lets you learn more about him.
And if you're not feeling brave enough, talk about the books that you're checking out or casually talk about your classes. ("*sigh* Humanities 425 is a boring class.") Maybe he's taken it before.
cheers,
stargirl
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