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My best friend changed.
For the past month or so, my best friend has been at soccer camp. There, she met a boyfriend, and from what I understand, they hang out together all day long.
I've been talking to her recently, and I noticed a change for the worse. Her new attitude towards life is "EFF it all".
School is starting soon, so I asked the typical "What are you going to wear for the first day?"
And her response was "I don't really give a crap. It doesn't matter. I'm just going to school to get good grades and do well in soccer".
That has basically been her response to any subject I have raised whether it be school, the people there, life. I commend her for being so determined, I guess, but I think she has a really bad attitude. And I want to talk about silly girl things, or where we want to go in life without getting a harsh "I don't give a crap." or the underlying belief
"I'm going to make the state soccer team, I don't care about other stupid teenagers. Just me and my boyfriend. No one understands me" etc. etc.
It is possible this could change when we actually get back to school since she her boyfriend lives across the country, and while she'll still play soccer, it's not 24/7.
What do I do? What can I do?
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First, it probably will change once you guys get back to school. I highly doubt she can stay so, well bitter while in the presence of like, tons of people and kinda forced into social situations. I'm sure it'll all get better once school starts, but you should try for now, anyway.
Maybe now that she's at the soccer camp, that's all she's focusing on. I mean, that's obvious, but I mean she's not looking at the consequences of what she says at the moment, because she's so into where she is. It's good that she's so into soccer, but she's gotta remember that her camp's going to stop soon, and she'll be back around you and all of her friends soon.
Even if it weren't for soccer, lots of girls have this reaction when they get new boyfriends. It's a weird thing, but it happens. Once she's around you more than him, she'll probably improve a ton.
For now, try to be patient with her. She'll probably realize what she's doing once she's not around her boyfriend so much, and she needs someone to talk to. She'll most likely even apologize, assuming you don't become hostile aswell. Just let her know that you're there to talk if she needs to, because she's acting differently.
If you need to, bring up how she's acting. I'm sure she knows she's being irritable -- Let her know you're worried, and ask her if anything's going on. She can't really reasonably get angry at you for offering help. Let her know that she can talk to you any time if anything's going on, and even about "silly girl things". Even ask whey she dosen't talk about that stuff anymore, lately. Why her opinion changed, etc. The easiest thing to do would be to flat out ask her questions. You won't directly know anything unless you actually ask her, because something COULD be going on you don't really know about.
Just offer her your help and kindness, and she'll remember what a good friend you are. Hopefully after that, she'll get back to normal. For the time being, patience is fantastic.
If she dosen't seem to change at all, talk to some of her other friends. See if they see the same changes, and maybe you can all get together to talk to her about what's going on. Have a sleepover or something with her, and she'll see how much she's loved by people other her boyfriend, and how much more there is than work, work, work.
Best of luck!
XOXO
KAT.
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It may be that your friend is going through a really big adjustment period right now that she's struggling with. My advice is to be patient, be there for her to listen and offer support. It's possible that she will work through this on her own and be greatful that you didn't make a big deal out of it or write her off completely.
However, don't allow yourself to be her verbal punching bag and if her depressive and anti-social behavior escalates or continues on for an extended period of time, you may need to distance yourself eventually. Listen to your heart and follow your instincts. Best of luck to you.
Kind wishes,
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you can talk to her about the way you have seen her change and if she doesnt respect your feelings toward her then maybe you should just let it go and move on and let her hit rock bottom to realize what she is doing
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Well if her boyfriend lives across the country she probably will change back to who she was before. When you talk to her, it will just come back naturally. If she dosen't, then act like she is acting if she asks you a question or something and if she's like "gosh, why the bad attitude?" Then you can tell her that's the way she's been acting and tell her what you feel. If you don't want to do that then the next time she gives a remark like that just say, why are you so negative all the time anymore? Just talk to her and tell her what you feel and i'm sure she will come around. It might just be a phase. My friend went through a phase like that and i talked to her about it and she eventually came around. Hope this helps!
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