Member Since: May 3, 2011
Answers: 1053
Last Update: December 12, 2012
Visitors: 30853
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Few days ago, ever since I started working out in the gym, I've started to feel this on-and-off itchiness on my lower back area and I scratch it a little. The next thing I know, I started to feel these little bumps around the same area. It's kinda hard for me to see them very well since they're on my back, but they kinda look like several bug bites. I don't think it is a regular rash and it's probably not eczema either since I already have them twice. So I did some research on about my symptoms and I have come to the conclusion that it could possibly be either hives or heat rash. I heard that a lot of people would develop heat rash from sweating, heat, and exposure to other bacteria. As for hives, I just heard that people would get them from allergic reactions and that it could be a viral infection. Could working out in the gym be the cause of either one of these symptoms? Especially since I've been exposed to dust and dirt from the equipments and the either one of these symptoms could be the cause of I thought both of these symptoms make sense especially since I've been exposed to a lot of dust and dirt from the gym equipments and the gym floor? Plus I have been sweating a lot and did a lot of yoga.
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See a dermatologist. Diagnosing yourself through the net is a risky venture.
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I've been with my boyfriend for two and a half years, and our relationship has been through various things (We got together when he was in his final year of high school, I was in my second last) As you can see, this meant that our relationship went through seeing each other almost every day, to once or so a week once he graduated and started working and now we see each other whenever we can, as I am in university and he is still working (but starting university next year).
The thing is though that I get clingy. I know it myself, and I've been trying to work on keeping the distance. My boyfriend would really like to disappear for a day or two every now and then. But I somehow always get the feeling that if I didn't initiate contact, it could be a week without me hearing from him and I'm not really up for such.
Right now, I'm just asking for tips on how I can keep my distance. In the sense that if we were together one day, how do I resist temptations to text or whatever him the next day already?
Overall, how do I keep myself from being overly-clingy?
Naturally I have other friends, and I do things with them, as well as I am busy with university studies so I am not a forever alone person dependent on my boyfriend! Of course not.
But the temptation to text is still there, if that makes sense.
Anyone have any tips? I know he gets tired of this sometimes, and he's honest about it. But at the same time he knows I'm trying and it's not as if I am purposefully like that. (link)
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I have to say that AdviceMistress' recommendations are right on point.
I just want to say, though, that I'm not sure you're being clingy unless you're bombarding him every hour on the hour with text messages, phone calls, etc. I personally sympathize a lot with your situation. If I were your boyfriend I would be equally frustrated that we couldn't be together more.
Just remember, too, that guys aren't as verbal as women. So if his responses seem a little inert at times it is only because he is a somewhat flummoxed in coming up with the right words so that he doesn't piss you off or sadden you. Guys tend to like to show you how much they love you rather than express it verbally anyway. This, I'm sure, kinda makes things worse for women in your situation who need more than occasional reassurance (women's yen for security).
So just try to relax. If you feel you have to communicate with him, keep it light and brief. If you keep your communication to every other day you definitely won't be thought of as clingy, at least to me. And definitely don't overthink things.
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I kno this is gonna be stupid to ask. Ok see I only have one friend, people hate when I talk to her and often get jealous and dis include me. I want to hangout with this one friend but when I finally have the courage to ask (cuz I have social issues) someone comes right out of no where and asks her to hangout. She really wants to be my friend. She's a great person. She has been on my side for everything and helped me through alot. I think we arent as good as friends because we hardly hangout. I don't know what to do. (link)
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Dude, you got to get her into situations that allow you to be alone. Ask her to lunch or dinner or coffee or go to the beach/river/amusement park together where the other people you know aren't likely to be around at the same instant you are.
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Hi everyone, sorry if this may be alittle gross; I'm just curious as to why.
Ok, 19/f; the past couple of days my vagina has smelled like fish. I take a shower/bath everyday, and I clean with non scented soap. So I know its not my cleaning habits.
I noticed that it does this when me and my boyfriend have sex; like a couple of hours later it'll do it; condoms or not.
When I am sitting down, and I open my legs, I can smell it. It's really strong. It doesn't burn, or itch, and it doesn't last that long;
Any tips?
Thanks!
& I learned a couple of years ago, that when I eat fish; that it makes me smell; so I stopped eating fish; Wednesday&Today I had some crab meat, but idk if that has anything to do with it either;
Is my fishy smell normal? (link)
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The fishy smell is not normal. You probably have vaginosis, which is a low grade infection. Go to your gyno and he/she will set you right.
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Okay, so i started to think about my ex and the good times we had because honestly we have a lot of chemistry and i don't see why we're not friends. So i started to talk to him and when i first started to talk to me he was asking me advice about his girlfriend. He kept throwing things in my face like, "Shes the only girl that i loved." "Shes the only girl i was faithful too." The worst thing he said was "I had sex with her last week." I mean that's personal? Why is he telling me. Out of all people, why me? I have a feeling hes trying to make me jealous. I don't know im kind of confused. I need someone else point of view on this. Ridiculous. (link)
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If it's so ridiculous then why are you taking it to heart to the degree that you ask about it on this site?
The guy is playing a passive-aggressive mind game with you. So your best bet is to just cut him off.
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Ok so me and my boyfriend are waiting to have sex but whenever he fingers me I feel like it's coming but it just doesn't get there. I feel like I have to like try to imagine it instead of knowing I'm there. It gets me so close but I don't know what to do. So any advice? (link)
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What you describe is a vicious cycle.
The best way to orgasm is to learn to relax and let the sensations just do what they're going to do. It may also help if he gives your clit some oral stimulation while he fingers you.
So the next time you guys do it, take a deep breath, let your body go limp and try to just empty your mind out and don't have any expectations or attempt to force things. That will give your brain the room to allow the sensations to build organically without extraneous input (your thoughts) interfering so that you can have a satisfying release.
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i have had a really bad love past. my first boy friend i dated 15 times, he cheated in me 3 of those times with more then one girl. My 2 boyfriend is just a sex feind he was exactly interested- i was the one that escaped his trap (didnt have sex with him) my 3rd broke up with me over some fake crap. and anyone else i've been interested in simply didn't want me or used my attraction for their own benefit.
i just started dating my newest boyfriend and he is thgee purest bf i've ever had....
he says he loves me but ive heard that so many times that i cant believe anything any guy says anymore.
is this normal??? (link)
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I can understand how you would be gun shy after what you went through. However, you also can't punish someone for the acts of another. That is just flat unfair. Therefore, the only thing you can do is talk to the prospect at length and try to feel them out as to what their real agenda is and what their mindset is.
Also, remember, if your gut tells you something is wrong it is. Always trust your gut.
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Ok, so there's this guy I have a crush on...
and I've had a crush on him for almost a year now. I think he likes me.
-keeps on sneaking peeks at me
-always borrows my things
-asks me questions
-budges in my conversation, looks directly into my eyes and smiles
-finds excuses to stay near me, is always really close to me
-picks me for teams
-tries to impress me
-tries to make me jealous
-flirts on facebook
-sits close to me all the time
-talks with me alot
-I asked him if he wanted to go to the movies with me and my friends and a couple of other boys,and he said yes
-his eyes say 'I know you like me'
does he like me? I don't know. sometimes we don't talk for a whole day. We kind of ignore each other. Then we flirt with other people.
I don't know. Is he playing hard to get or does he think of me as a friend?
P.S. I have 3 other rivals... (link)
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The guy likes you. Ask him out.
And look at it this way: if he rejects you, you will know how it feels when a guy who asks you out gets a negative response. So at the very least you will learn something out of it. That makes taking the risk worth it.
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I was close friends with this guy, and we took the 1st step to be BF/GF. It went fine, after a month went by he suddenly became very agressivly mean. He called me a pathetic little loser and dumped me.It Hurt me So bad I couldnt eat or sleep or basically function for days. 2 weeks later I started talking to an old male aquaintence...and he asked me out. My new ex hadnt known about the date, and wanted to start a friend relationship. This aquaintence wants me to be his girlfriend, I dont know whom i love more though. My ex is a jerk, but i care about him. and my aquaintence is very nice and respects me. Also I still feel like i'm a cheater when i hang out with him, even though im single? (link)
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Yep, you love the bad boys. See, it is women like you who create a rationale for guys to act like dickheads toward your gender, especially as you seem ready to punt on the nice guy as soon as Mr. Bad Guy decides he wants to use you again.
So this will sound rough, but here goes: if you like bad boys you have less than zero right to complain how they treat you. Yeah, nice guys aren't as unpredictable and "alpha" as bad boys and there isn't as much about them you can change, but you'll have a more mature and emotionally balanced relationship with the nice guy than the bad boy.
What you are doing is the equivalent of finding it more exciting to play with sticks of unstable dynamite rather than safe and sane fireworks and then you act surprised when the dynamite blows you to smithereens. Bad boys do what bad boys do. If you sign up with one then you get whatever it is they want to dish out. Either change your view of what is desirable in men or stop whining and deal with it.
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Hello everyone,I love my boyfriend(well i just broke up with him yesterday) very much and i believe he loves me too.
I fight fair i don't say hurtful things,if i am the one at fault i apologize but i have never not even one said anything disrespectful to my boyfriend.Because i believe in respecting others and let them hold their dignity. My boyfriend on the other hand, he says mean things and does disrespectful things.For example he will answer me " what is it you wanted to say yesterday that was so important you cant repeat it now?" (If i ask him why i called him several times but he didnt pick up the day before), or "stop right there you are so annoying me right now,you can be mad all you want i dont care" or we having an important conversation on the phone,he puts me on hold five minutes later he texts me saying "call you right back" then like an hour later he tells me" my friends kidnapped me,i am out at the pub with them,what are you up too" ,which i find very disrespectful,if it was just a nonsense convo then yes but something important its wrong.The next day he says if he knew it was going to get me sad he wouldn't have done it.what i don't understand is , how he cant see that his kind of behaviour is just wrong before handy?I know its unfair for me to be putting things together but things have been happening like this a lot lately.Like girls posting pictures of him holding them on his lap on facebook and tagging him, or pretending to be sleeping on the couch with them,or him going to the movies with another girl and dinner without me knowing and yet i always make him know what am up too and make sure he is comfortable with it. At first he would say that he doesn't see anything wrong in what he does then he would come to me apologizing but how can someone not thing that taking pics with other girls on those kind of positions is plain wrong?I don't blame the girls i blame him,he should have refused ,or movies and dinner with another girl without their girlfriend being aware of it? the last fight we had, he posted my pic on his facebook for few hours on my birthday then took it off,i was upset that he did that since so far i've had 3 pictures of him and each has stayed for at least a week as my profile,thats when he said that i was too annoying and he did it to make it happy, that i was ungrateful,that i should be happy he put it there in the first place and i could get mad all i want he wouldn't care.But i have had his pictures for past year and it was his first time to have my picture. I am not saying he cant have female friends because thats just wrong i do have more male friends than female myself but i know where to draw the line and i guess he doesn't. I told him before that i dont like how he talks to me, and yesterday i repeated it again for the 3rd time and i asked him if i deserve to be talked to the way he did then he answered not everday but you got me mad i had the right to talk to you that way. Then i told him we were done,that i was ending the relationship,he just said " okay". Do you think that i overreacted?Ps we are attending different colleges right now. (link)
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Ah, another case of a girl who loves bad boys. You did well breaking up with him, but if you're capable of looking at this rationally, why do you love someone who belittles and ignores you? You let him get away with being an asshat for a long time and so he thought you were a doormat and you might still, in fact, be one.
Look, if you really want concrete advice and aren't just using us as an avenue by which to vent, then you need to examine your standards for what constitutes a relationship. Moreover, at the outset of the relationship you need to tell your significant other what you expect out of it so that both of you will know the terms of engagement and, most importantly, be willing to enforce those terms by walking if things aren't up to standard. Tell them you expect adult behavior and the moment he goes teenage baboon on you you're gone.
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21 F
I'm thinking of possiblity going to college but
the problem is i didn't take my SAT's i'd like to go to a community college my question is will i not be accepted because i didn't take my SAT's will it ruin my chances? That's what i'm afraid of
Thank you to whoever answers (link)
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I never took the SAT's and I graduated from both JC and a four year with honors. The school will likely have you take its own test to determine what your academic skills are and what classes you initially will be qualified to take. But that's about it. So go ahead and enroll and keep your nose to the grindstone. College is great and will help you grow tremendously as a human being aside from helping you get a job.
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Well after school one day i went to my locker (that is right next to my crushes)and it was jammed so i kept trying and trying to open it but it wouldn't give then my crush came down and saw me dropped his stuff and said "i will help you whats your combo i swear i wont steal anything" so i told him it and he couldn't get it to open ether so i got the custodian and my crush stayed after school with me for like 10 more minutes trying to help out but then he had to go - so what do you think ? (link)
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It sounds to me like he has at least some tentative interest. He has now left an opening where you can thank him for helping you out by asking him out (you can have a simple coffee date for starters). If you don't go for it you'll always regret not asking him, so do it and see what happens.
Keep in mind that if he rejects you it will give you an idea of what guys deal with when they ask girls out. So either way, whether the response is positive or negative, you'll learn something and that ain't shabby.
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I'm a girl & 18. My boyfriend and I was on the sofa and we was kissing. I never let him touch me down below (i have strong views)and he kept moving my hands to his private area. He's done this before and Ive said to him I dont want to do anything yet as im not ready. Yesterday in the cinema he pushed my hand under his trousers but above his boxers. Today he did the same but tried it under his boxers and said to me to touch it for 5 seconds. ofc i said no and then he got it out and was saying to me dont you like it, dont you like me, dont you want me and told me to hold it and i just really like him so much like in all other aspects of our realtionship he treats me so well and hes the best boyfriend ive ever had and so i did because i felt almost bad for not wanting to and so this lead to him telling me to give him a hand job. Idk what to think i really like or even love my boyfriend but my best friend says its not right... advice? (link)
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I don't know what the laws in your country are, but in many states in the U.S. what your boyfriend is doing technically constitutes sexual assault and can engender prison time and sex offender registration.
I have to say this, though: what is your objection to giving him a handjob? I can understand not wanting to do it in a public place, but there is nothing wrong with getting him off with your hand. It isn't dirty, it isn't sinful (God, religion has screwed up so many sex lives) and it gives him pleasure. I'm sure he would like to pleasure you, too. Do you think his penis is dirty or evil or some other nonsense?
There is a rational reason for not having sexual intercourse: the fear of pregnancy. But you won't get knocked up by a handjob and you won't get an STD from it.
Look, it's your body and only you can determine what you want to happen with it; but personally, if I were your boyfriend, I would go find someone else with a more rational attitude toward sex rather than someone who allows some pastor or other propagandizing hustler to dictate the terms of her sex life.
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19/f
Hey. I'm just an ordinary girl at college, and well I have a lot on my mind. My roommate is never around and we don't get along really well. I have a lot on my mind regarding life, love, and struggles that I'm going through. The one thing I really want is just someone to really talk to about these things. I do consider myself social :) but none of my friends really help me out, or I just kinda feel like a burden to them and guilty for always coming to them for help. I guess I'm just asking for advice on how to find someone that I can talk to about personal things and not feel ashamed? Oh and I don't have a lot of money so I can't get a counselor or anything. Plus I think that would be awkward. (link)
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The most frustrating thing for friends is when they give you advice and yet you don't follow through on it. Now I can understand that if it's bad advice, but if, for example, you have a rocky relationship with your boyfriend and you ask what you should do about him and they tell you to break up with him because he's bad for you and yet you don't split and insist on continuing to ask your friends for advice then they feel like you're an emotional vampire and will shut you out. There are way too many women who are emotional vampires.
One thing that could help avoid being shutout is if you specify what it is you want. "I just want to vent" is a good way to preface what you're going to say if you just want someone to listen. Unfortunately, too many women will use the gambit of supposedly wanting advice when they actually just want to vent. So say you want advice only when you will seriously entertain the ideas of others for solving a problem. Otherwise, tell them you just need s shoulder to cry on.
By honestly specifying what it is you're doing your friends will have a lot more sympathy for you and you won't be a burden to them.
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15|f Well this week i had to stay after school to do some extra credit for my advanced english class and some other girls and guys were staying after also but when i walked in there was this older boy in there and i was like oh? And my teacher was like this is brian he will help you if you need it and so i said ok. Well i was just kinda thinking hes kinda cute(hes in his first year of college)for an older guy. Well i sat down and starting workimg like normal but i started to feel shy and nervous. And like a couple of minutes later he came up to and asked me if i need needed help and it was so embareasing my voice kinda broke and i was like no thank you i was sonembarrased so after a while a just felt so nervous i walked out. Well I came back again the next day and he was there again and i was like oh snap. And i became nervous and my face turned red and i even forgot what i was doing! I dont know why,? ive never felt like that with guys ive liked or have crushes on before even whem i met a famous person once i didmt act like tht, it was so weird. But anyway when i finally sat down he came oveerr and smiled and he said are you having any trouble and i was like umm no thanks. And looked back down at my paper and i sware from that moment he stood two steps back from my desk and stared at me for the whole time!!! And i was just sitting there face red palm sweating about to cry. Finally my teacher said we could leave so i hurried amd left. When i got out in my car i couldnt even talk to my mom my voice kept cracking and i couldnt even talk and my mom was like whats wrong and i told her the story about how i thought he was cute and that he litteraly stood two steps back from my desk and stared at me the whole time. Then my mom said he may like you, and i was like oh my gosh! but hes in his first year of college and then my mom said so?. I was shocked! So why do u think i acted\am actimg so weird do u think he coukd possibly like me im so confused from how i acted because ive never acted liked that before not even with boys my age i really liked so please help thanks a bunch:D (link)
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This is really normal when you are interested in someone but are afraid that you may not measure up to his expectations. Don't worry about it. It happens to us all at one time or another.
One thing, though: depending on the laws of your state, it could get him in a great deal of hot water if your relationship goes sexual. So while the attention of an older male is a turn on for a lot of teenage girls, from a legal standpoint engaging with one can be rather troublesome. For example, if you live in California, the age of consent there is 18. So if you got with him he would end up as a lifetime registered sex offender.
In most states now, too, even if the conduct is consensual, the DA is still permitted to file and prosecute even if you don't press charges because you legally cannot give consent.
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So I was talking to this guy from my high school on Facebook and he said: Ahah.. Yu shud be by my bestfriendd
Me: Uhh...okay? Haha
Him: Ya know fbs
Him: :)
I have and idea of what"fbs" means, but I don't want to reply and be wrong, or ask what it means and feel stupid. Thank you in advance! (link)
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FBS: "F*cking Bullsh*t."
http://www.internetslang.com/FBS-meaning-definition.asp
I think the guy actually means, "Fb's," which is "f*ck buddies."
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My boyfriend and I have been going out for about a year and a half now and all of a sudden he's been asking me to send him naked pictures of myself. I hate my body and I'm extremely insecure, so I just don't feel comfortable doing it. So I told him that but he just gets mad and keeps asking, and now he's starting to use it against me. Should I send him the pictures to just shut him up? Or what? (link)
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Your body belongs to you exclusively and not your boyfriend or anyone else. So what you need to do is give him a choice: he can either stop badgering you for the pics and keep you or he can keep hassling you about it and see you walk. And if you make a threat like that you had better be willing to follow through on it because if you don't he will think you're a total doormat.
Just remember that there is a general rule of thumb: any saucy pics of girls will end up on the net at some point through any number of channels.
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21 female. Nick 19. This may be kind of long but I will really appreciate any help! :)
Me and Nick have been together for about 4 months. He is the nicest guy I've ever been with I really couldn't ask for a better guy. We've known each other for a long time but just started dating months ago. He pays for me when we go to dinner or get anything to eat. I'll be like "Nooo!" And take out my wallet because I feel bad that he pays for me. But he won't take my money he makes me put my wallet away.
Well last weekend we were going on a double date with my brother and his wife. Nick called his mom for something and she asked what we were doing that night and Nick said going to dinner and his mom asked if he was paying for me and Nick was like well yeah. And she said well do you always pay for her? And he said yeah. And she was like does she ever pay for you? And he said no but she said that she was going to take me to dinner soon. Then she said ..well that's not right and she said it kind of in a mean tone. And she was on speaker phone so I heard everything. Nick was pretty quiet and his mom was like is she right there? And he said yeah, and I walked away. It was so uncomfortable and I was kind of offended.
That night when we were at dinner I took out my wallet again and he said no, put that away and I insisted I at least pay for the tip then and he wasn't even going to let me do that but I forced him to let me.
And just a couple nights before this happened we were talking and I even said I hate that you pay for me I feel bad! And he said no I want to pay for you babe and I said well I'm taking you out some time then! :)
It just bugs me that his mom would say that about me acting like I'm taking advantage of him or something saying "well that's not right, she should pay for you" I couldn't stop thinking about it all night and I was really quiet. Nick could tell something was wrong and he kept asking me if I was mad at him. Finally I said, I know your mom doesn't like me. And he said she likes you babe, you wanna know why she likes you? Because she sees how happy you make me. And I said well it didn't really sound like she liked me too much on the phone and he said well I don't think she said anything bad, what part didn't you like? Obviously he was sticking up for his mom and didn't think anything she said was offensive. I just let it go. But now whenever I see her next I am going to feel really uncomfortable around her. Would you be a little offended if you were me? I don't know what to do!
Plus, he told me way back that he wanted to pay for me & take care of me because I am doing school full time and can't work that much and he is working full time right now before he goes back to school so he knows I don't have a lot of money right now. But it's not like I say, you have to pay for me! No, I'm not like that at all. (link)
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None of this is your fault. The guy made a free choice to keep paying for your meals and entertainment. His mom needs to mind her own business. So don't let his mom get into your head. Just enjoy the relationship and don't overthink and don't get hung up on extraneous noise like what his mother thinks. Keep it simple and focus on what you guys have together. What others think of it doesn't count because, again, it's none of their business.
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So I know about 7 kids that like me and this one kid asked me out and I said no even though i really did want to go out with him. The reason I said no was because i have a twin brother (btw were both 12) and i didnt want him finding out and telling my mom that im dating *his friend*....so this guy is all sad that i rejected him and is SOOOOO nice and his friends r all convincing me 2 go out with him and he txts me a lot... so my question is "How do I go out with this kid without my brother telling my mom?" (link)
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The only thing you can do on a practical level is threaten to leave word around school that your brother is a snitch. Where I come from, we had ways of ensuring that people kept their mouths shut, but I can't say anymore than that for liability reasons. You could also ask your friends to "have a little talk" with your brother about the virtues of not being a narc. Then go ahead and get with the guy you want to be with.
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I am stuck between my family and my love.
He is very nice guy but with poor background.
My parents are not allowing me to marry with him.
I love both alot but nervous regarding my family's opinion. (link)
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You don't say what you mean by "poor background." What, he isn't in the same social class? Or is his family impoverished? Does he have any skeletons in his closet? It's hard to judge from what you wrote.
Providing that the guy isn't a scumbag, your parents really need to mind their own business. You might still be a member of your family, but everyone is an individual and thus only that individual knows what will make him/her happy.
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