I am too old and out of shape to beat around the bush so I'll give it to you straight. If you want sugarcoating go to the candy store, you won't find it here. Sometimes a little good old fashioned honesty is just what the doctor ordered!
Gender: Female
Location: PA
Member Since: August 19, 2012
Answers: 317
Last Update: June 14, 2018
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I'm a junior in high school right now. I've only been dating my current boyfriend for four months but I've liked him since August. He means everything to me and I swear I'm in love with this boy. But there's only one problem, his friends. I'm his first girlfriend so before me he was always with them. And he used to also act like them. They are all immature, rude, obnoxious, annoying, ect. I'm sure you get the idea. But after him and I began becoming more than friends, he started to mature. He stopped acting like them. Then after we began dating he started spending each and every day with me. We will hang out after school for about two hours, and then All day Saturday and on Sunday he eats dinner with my family. So needless to say, he has totally stopped acting like them. During this period he has been telling me how rude his friends always were to him and that they took advantage of him (he doesn't ever say no to anyone) and it makes me feel sad. We will be walking in the hallways and they will call him names and make fun of him right to his face in front of me. And he lets them. But today he hung out with them again after school and I'm not against him hanging out with friends it's just I wish he had better ones. He was already starting to act like them today. Also he said he is going to start hanging out with them at least 1 time a week. I love him and I'm trying to protect him without hurting him. What should I do? I don't think we can date if he's going to do this. Help! (link)
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Sorry, but you are the one who is wrong here. You can not do his thinking for him. That is exactly what you are afraid his friends will do. He does possess a mind of his own and from what you say he seems to use it quite well most of the time! He sounds very mature and he also seems to be aware of what his friends are like. You can not just expect him to give up all his friends because he is dating you. Teenage boys in groups usually are rude and obnoxious but that doesn't mean they are bad people(or bad friends). It is pretty normal for the first one in the group who gets a girlfriend to take a lot of heat for it. Instead of taking his friends so seriously and getting angry why don't you try wisecracking back at them in a joking way. If they think you are clever and cool they might ease up on the teasing a little.You have to let your guy have his space and his alone time with his friends. Remember this for ever and always no matter who you are in a relationship with: You are NOT his mother and he does NOT need you to protect him! That is actually quite insulting if you stop and think about it. That makes it sound like you think he is too stupid to handle this situation on his own! You would be very wrong to make him choose between you and his friends. My advice to you would be to not go anywhere near him while he is hanging with his friends. I am sure you have some friends you could hang with or something else you could do on the evenings he spends with them. I know it is hard but if you can be mature enough to give him his space and let him think for himself you will have a much better relationship in the long run! Good luck!
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okay, so, its going to be summer vacation soon. And I just wanted some advice on how to get a little slimmer. Now, I'm only 13, so i don't want any super heavy exercises. I just want to slim down. because, actually, I'm really over weight. I'm about 5'' feet, and despite my age, i weigh 150 lbs. Although, I don't really look that fat. I just look chubby. i want get a slimmer body, but I still want to keep my round baby shaped face.
Any ideas on how to get slimmer and lighter in 2 months please? (link)
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As long as your doctor says it is okay for you to exercise find a sport or physical activity you really love like swimming, jumping rope, bike riding, jumping on a trampoline, softball, soccer, tennis or interactive video games(the JUST DANCE series is great!) 20 minutes a day is good to start. If you are eating junk food like chips, soda, cookies or candy, STOP! Eat a piece of fruit to satisfy your sweet tooth instead!Instead of watching TV go outside and take a short walk. You don't have to do heavy exercise just get up and be active. It makes a big difference. Have fun this summer and stay healthy!
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How do i know he really loves me when he says it? (link)
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Well, you don't. That is why it is very important to get to know someone and to know their character. If you have known him for a while and he isn't in the habit of lying and he isn't saying it while he's trying to talk you into sex then there is a pretty good chance he means it!
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20/f
I've hardly had any friends because I didn't want to be anybody's slave,so to speak. I've always been called ugly just because I'm not skinny and I don't wear make-up (I put eyeshadow and mascara on sometimes) and because I don't have money for branded clothes. I've always been called a nerd because I liked to study and have all A's and thanks to that now I'm studying medicine. I'm labeled as boring because I don't go partying every weekend,getting drunk and having sex with many guys. Nobody wants to get to know me,they all judge either on what they see or what they hear about me. No matter what I try no guy will notice me. It's like I'm invisible. And the most hated person in the world. How to be confident and have self worth when your life is like this? I don't wanna stop living,even though it had crossed my mind. I can't exactly talk to anyone about this because they think I'm being a drama queen. Nobody takes into account how I really feel. (link)
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You are afraid to try to make friends because you can't picture yourself on an equal footing with your peers. You even go as far as to say you believe they would consider you a slave. How you present yourself to the world is all in your ATTITUDE! You have to realize how unique and wonderful you are and embrace it! It really isn't that no one wants to get to know you but your negativity is projecting that onto them. Write down everything you like about yourself! You might be surprised to see how many good qualities you have! Next, write down what you consider to be your worst qualities. Those are the things you need to work on. Yes, I said work. If you are complaining but you are not willing to WORK to change it then you are just looking to throw a pity party! When you say "no matter what I try no guy will notice me" Sorry, but that sounds like the self defeatist beginnings of a pity party to me! No offense I hope, but this Geezer is too old and out of shape to beat around the bush so I have to give it to you straight! Frankly there were a couple of times I wanted to offer you some cheese with that whine! You are a straight A student with the opportunity to study medicine! Girl, that is nothing to sneeze at! You have all that going for you but you seem to feel that you need a man to validate you! Instead of looking for someone you want to date why not make YOURSELF into someone you would want to date? Moving on to some of the other issues you mention, you don't need brand names to look stylish. Get on Pinterest, find some looks you like and go to the thrift shops and look for something similar. Find a girl whose makeup you admire(someone you know is a nice person) and ask if she would mind giving you some pointers, or go to the make up department and get the sales person to help you. You will learn the best make up looks for you and you might just make a new friend in the bargain! Start doing your nails, find a new perfume, get some sexy new undies(they will make you feel sexy even if no else can see them!)Get the best haircut you can afford. I know I am suggesting some things that might not be in your budget but what I'm proposing is not outlandish and you ARE worth it so try to find a way if possible. If not, you can still work with what you have and make some big changes. For some inspiration try watching the Queen Latifah movie "Last Holiday". You will see the kind of attitude transformation I am talking about! If your self esteem issues are deeply rooted and you just can't seem to feel better about yourself no matter what then you need to seek counseling. There may be deeper issues than you realize. Whatever you do, stop feeling sorry for yourself and take action! You can believe you are beautiful and interesting or you can believe you are boring and unattractive but whichever one you believe you are going to be right!( take the time to think about what I just said) By the way someday when you are a brilliant self confident doctor, don't forget this old geezer who came down so hard on you but hopefully imparted a little wisdom in the process! Good luck!
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Is it possible to get a rental car with 100$ in NYC? (link)
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I am sure your friends whom you plan to visit would be happy to look into this for you. They may even be able to recommend an agency they have used before. You could also do some research online and perhaps make a few calls to inquire about rates. The rental company will need to get some information from you before they can give you a quote. I hope you have a wonderful vacation in NYC!
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My husband is a bit old fashion and doesnt feel we need anything in the bedroom thats new, and we barely ever have sex yet he insists hes happy. Well im pretty UNHAPPY, and want either more sex, or be allowed to use toys if i feel. He does not agree with ANY kind of toys.
I recently discovered the newer toy called the sybian, its uses nothing but vibration. I know that they retail for about 1400 bucks but i found a way to make my own for a fraction of the price! the only problem is i cant tell my husband....
my question is, is it better to own a toy like this and never tell him (risking him discovering it because they arent that easy to hide if your place isnt that large) ORRRR tell him, make the thing anyway, and risk him feeling sad, and or calling me a sex addict because i want it more then he does??
how do i have this talk with him and what can i do to turn him onto toys or at least be OK with them? (link)
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I wish I knew if your hubby was always lukewarm in the bedroom or if this is a recent development. When it comes to sex, it is crucial that you both be on the same page. This is where intimacy and communication are vitally important. Sex toys can be a wonderful way to add some spice to your sex life but BOTH partners have to be willing. You need to find out what REALLY turns him on. Get him to tell you about his favorite sexual fantasies. Ask him if he likes to look at porn and what kind. Maybe you could watch some movies together. He may be into dress up or role playing, whatever he tells you be willing to try it! A lot of men feel inadequate if their partner asks to use sex toys, and there is nothing that kills joy in the bedroom faster than a man who feels inadequate! Tell him how much HE turns you on. You might think this sounds ridiculous but he probably feels like he is in competition with your vibrator! He knows you love how it makes you feel(obviously, or you wouldn't use it)and he probably thinks you prefer it to him! I think he really needs a big shot of self esteem right now. If he is an old fashioned kind of guy then the vibrator thing probably has him feeling emasculated. Give him carte blanche,let him call the shots. Tell him it is his turn to show you how HE wants it. He may be the shy kind and you might have to experiment to find out what trips his trigger but once you find his sweet spot the payoff will be worth it! If he starts to find sex a lot more enjoyable then chances are he will want to do it a lot more often! Once you get your sex life spicy hot again and he feels confident in his masculinity he may be willing to experiment with some toys but I wouldn't count on it. If your hubby has no underlying medical condition and he is indeed just not interested in sex then at least you gave it your best shot! Some people may not agree with what I am about to say but I think if a woman chooses to use a vibrator because her sex life isn't fulfilling that is her private business and she is under no obligation to tell her husband. My advice however,is to get rid of the vibrator for now and try to steam things up with your guy!
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I feel like my parents dont care about me any more ;( (link)
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I agree with adviceman49, you didn't give us enough info to really understand what might be happening. From what you are saying it seems you feel they cared about you once but now they don't, right? Let me tell you a little something about parents that I know to be true, if they ever loved you then they still love you. Parents NEVER stop loving their children! Sometimes parents get so caught up in all the hassles and worries of adult life that they forget to reassure their kids of the love they feel for them. Why don't you try some good old reverse psychology. Go up to mom or dad, give them a big hug and say "I love you. I know you've had a lot going on lately but I miss you". If you do this and your parents still act like they don't care then you need to go to them and tell them how you feel. Stay calm, don't yell or accuse them of anything, just tell them how much their actions are hurting you and ask if there is anything you can do to make things better. Maybe some family counseling would help if they are willing. Parents can be pretty lame sometimes when they get all wrapped up in their own problems, but if you show them some affection and understanding I think they will come around!
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I am 23f my sister is 19f. She is in her 2nd year at college and is feeling lost. She has been having a hard time balancing her classes. And Tell me she feels like giving up and maybe trying again later. She says she doesn't feel interested in school, or anything, not even parties for that matter. I will support her in any decision she makes. But I don't know what to do either. How can I help her? What suggestions should I make? (link)
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It sounds like your sister may be suffering from depression. One of the first indicators of depression is loss of interest in things the person once found exciting and enjoyable. Try to convince her to make an appointment with her doctor or psychologist right away. Please stay close to her and listen carefully for any clues that she might be thinking of suicide. Not everyone who contemplates suicide makes threats or direct references to it. If her doctor prescribes the right medication she might be back to her old self in no time. If your sister refuses to get help you might want to speak with your parents and have them try to intervene. If ever you feel she has come to a point where she can no longer make rational decisions and you fear for her safety it is possible for the family to have her involuntarily committed to the hospital for observation. Hopefully it is nothing as serious as all that but she needs to get checked out by a doctor ASAP. Your sister is very lucky to have such a loving and caring older sis! Best of luck to you both!
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This guy is obsessed with me. It's been going on for years. I had a feeling at first that feeling was confirmed when he wrote a poem. This poem was about me and it was sexually explicit. So I got scared and stopped going to the same places as him etc. So fast forward two years and I stopped being scared. So, I wanted to see what kind of feelings does he have for me. He likes to keep our conversations short which frustrates me. Its really hard to tell what kind of person he is or how crazy he is from talking to him. My conclusion was he is really shy and has a big crush on me. I wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt. When I tried to make conversation with him I asked if he had a Tumblr. He said “No”. I later found out that he indeed does have a Tumblr. Some other guy gave me the address. When I first visited his blog I became intrigued. Its erotic and I loved it Then I began to read some stories that he wrote. And what do you know? They are about me. It’s like I’m his muse. At this point he will not receive anymore contact from me. Because he is obviously sick and needs help and I don’t want to fuel his obsession. Also I think he is cyberstalking me. There’s more however I will not share at this time for personal reasons. What do you think? Thanks. :)
(link)
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No, he's crazy. Hopefully harmless crazy, but you really should keep your distance. It sounds like he just prefers to fantasize and you are ruining it for him by trying to stepping into his reality. I think that is why he wants nothing to do with you in person. If he is indeed cyberstalking you it might be a good idea to speak with the police about it. Sometimes these crazies can go for years and then decide it's time to make a move. It sounds like a whole lot more than a crush or a harmless prank. I really do think you should make the police aware, that way if he tries anything they already have the info they need to move in on him.
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In about September or October, I had my first period. Ever since, I've had my period every other month. I can't remember the last time my period was. I'm a virgin, but for some reason I feel like i'm pregnant. It's weird. But is it abnormal to get your period every other month? (link)
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I think since your periods just started not too long ago that your body is still adjusting. However this may be what you can expect from your normal cycle. Since you are still a virgin I am a little curious as to how you would know what being pregnant feels like!LOL(that is weird!) There are some similarities between pregnancy and PMS so I am pretty sure that is what you are experiencing. If you are really concerned get your mom to take you to a GYN for a check-up. Good luck!
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I've been keeping an eye on my sodium lately. I am 14 years old. 5'2, weighs 115 pounds. I eat about 1200 calories a day. How much mg of sodium should I be eating? (link)
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I am not a doctor so I am going to quote you the figures I found on the internet. According to what I read anyone consuming 1200 calories should be taking in about 1500 mg. of sodium. Even when you lower your caloric intake the sodium requirement stays the same. I hope you have already talked to your doctor about your diet and got the thumbs up. If you are only 14 years old, 1200 calories seems a little low to me!
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I'm almost 17 and he's 15. one day he just comes out and says that he likes me and I didn't know how to tell him I didn't like him back so I kinda just went along with it but then he asked me out and I said I wasn't ready to go out or have a boyfriend. All of a sudden I have some feelings for him that I've never had before and he doesn't talk to me much. I don't know what to do??? I kinda like him but don't know if he still likes me or not. (link)
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I am guessing his feelings were hurt so you might have to put some real effort into getting close to him again. If you can get him to a point where he is talking to you again then tell him you like him. Tell him you are sorry about before but you needed some time to decide if you were ready to date. Hopefully he will open up to you and take up where he left off! Good luck!
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I just wanted to know some easy methods and also I want to know how to stimulate the prostate gland I am a male obviously, and i'm 17, thx ;) (link)
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First off in this situation I am going to tell you what NOT to do. Do not insert any object in there that can become "lost"! It would be beyond embarrassing to have to explain this to your parents or the doctors and nurses in the ER! Any time you insert a foreign object into the anus you also run the risk of perforation which can be an extremely serious medical emergency! If I were you I wouldn't put anything up there that isn't already attached to your body. Someday when you have a loving partner I am sure she will be willing to do this for you so my best suggestion would be to wait! If you can't wait then look it up on the internet, I am sure you can find detailed instructions!
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She is obsessed with the media and the life of celebrities she almost forgets to live her own, and thinks I don't know about much, just because I'm not as obsessed as her, such as Katy Perry being illuminati or whatever, I found out when I listened to dark horse backwards because of cousin. Also she's really stuck up and calls the entire group,“ buetafull, gorgeous, intelligent, amazing (her name) and other girls. She also calls me racist ALL THE TIME. For example, when this freakishly pale girl said she is Spanish,I said that's weird since most Spanish people are tan, and the annoying girl I'm writing this because of said,“what are you saying?" And I said,“nothing, just Spanish people are tan." And she responded,“don't be racist!" WTF? I wasn't saying anything bad about Spanish people, or tan people. I'm Italian, that's pretty close to Spanish. And another time I was arguing with a boy and said,“there is no difference between white and colored skin!" And she told me I was racist for saying 'colored' but I was saying something completely UNracist. OMFG WTF? She's also defensive in other areas like when I asked her why she is so into romance books, and she started saying,“don't judge me if I like romance!" And starts a fight with this one table at lunch everyday. She steals people's food, breaks their stuff, and throws it. And I'm just supprised she had the nerve to call ME racist when she shouts the N word across the room. But my friends are friends with her so If I leave her I leave the entire group. What do I do? (link)
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I have to wonder why your friends would want to be friends with someone who is behaving this way? If I were you I would talk to some of your other friends and try to get an idea about what they think of her behavior. They may have a problem with her as well but like you they don't want to leave the group. If some of your other friends admit to having a problem then the group of you could all approach her together and tell her how you feel about her behavior. It is very important how you approach this because they may just go back to her and tell her that you are trying to start trouble. Maybe you could ask "what did you think today at lunch when so-and -so started that fight with the other table?" chances are they don't like it any more than you do. If all else fails go sit at another table, I am guessing at least one other fed up friend will join you there!
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i have been confused about what i should be, i am a female that is more comfortable dressing in male clothes, i act more masculine then i do feminine however i do have certain female traits that keeping coming out (maternal - from when i was a step mum). i have been reading up and considering going through with a sex change operation. the only thing that is holding me back is i want kids and want to be able to conceive naturally. (link)
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Well, unless there is something wrong with you, why don't you just keep on being you and run with that! You seem like you have a pretty good handle on things and it sounds like you know what you want and what you like. You seem to understand your sexuality, you know how you like to dress and act and you know you want to conceive children naturally. If you want to have a sex change you will obviously have to wait until you give birth so it would appear to me that your options are limited. I don't exactly agree with you that wanting a child is a female trait! I believe both males and females are capable of deep loving and protective feelings toward their offspring. I also believe a father can parent equally well so I don't think you should label these feelings "maternal" and assume that you must be a woman in order to have them. Why don't you just be happy with who you are right now and live one day at a time? If you decide to make this decision in the future then deal with it when the time arises. Remember you can't live in the past and you can't live in the future, you can only live in the present. I am sure when the time comes you will give it careful consideration and make the right decision for you. Good luck!
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i just joined my sports team and we started our workouts for the summer three days ago and we have only had 3 practices, my coach just sent out the emails saying i made the team but i was thinking about it and i really dont want to play... i really respect my coach and dont know how to tell her that i just dont want to play because i know i would bring the team down because i am just not good nor will i enjoy it. if you had any advice on how to tell her, if i should email or have a face to face convo, or just what i should say it would really help out thanks! (link)
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Now honey, you're just not making any sense! You said you were good enough to make the team but you're not any good at the sport?!!! It can't be both ways! Why in the world did you try out for a sport you don't enjoy? Are you sure you are not just over thinking this, losing your self confidence and then "imagining" how your teammates might feel? I think you need to talk to your coach and tell her your misgivings about it but I wouldn't throw in the towel just yet. Is this the type of sport that you could get in some extra practice time on your own? I really think you will be missing out on a wonderful experience if you never even give it a try. I hope you will at least consider it. If you have absolutely made up your mind not to do it then I think you should go face to face with your coach, thank her for choosing you and tell her the truth. Good luck!
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I'm going to try to keep the back story brief. About six months ago I got out of a long and tumultuous relationship with someone I really loved, but we just couldn't make it work.
Recently, I've decided it was time to start dating again. I met a guy at a party, asked him if he'd like to go out sometime and he accepted. Our first date was fun and pleasant - I was excited for the second. The second was fun, but something felt off, I think primarily I was tired and should have just gone home after dinner. After some thinking and an awkward interaction on the third date, I told him that I wasn't trying to be in serious relationship at that moment and just needed something very un-serious and slow. He seemed let down, but I explained that it wasn't him, I just couldn't commit to anything. I stated I didn't want to go on more than one date a week. I felt I was very open, reiterating that if that sort of situation didn't work for him I understood and that perhaps in the future - many many months down the line - if things were going well, I might be interested in having something more serious.
Okay, so our fourth date was great, we fooled around and all-in-all I had a great time. He texted me a few days after to see if I wanted to hang out on the weekend, and I said maybe and then decided I didn't want to. He didn't responded to a text for ten hours and was pretty chilly in the texts following.
The night of our fifth date I had a sad (not bad) interaction with my ex and was feeling emotional. I considered cancelling the date, but decided I could rally. My female friend ended up stopping by to check on me and was there when he came over. As we were hanging out I sort got the feeling they were flirting, but decided I was reading too much into things because of my emotional state. We all ended up going to the bar together and he and I didn't end up talking much. We both got very drunk and ended up having a long conversation in which he admitted he was flirting with my friend to make me jealous and I admitted that I felt pressured to hang out more than I wanted because I felt when I said no he got upset. We seemed to work things out and agreed a casual, but sweet sexual relationship was good for both of us.
On Sunday he came over and we attempted sex, but he couldn't in the beginning maintain an erection because he was nervous. I completely understood and we just fooled around. (quick note: I am really strict about using condoms because I'm not on birth control and I don't really know the guy). He offered to give me a back rub which clearly I accepted after rubbing my back for a minute I could tell he had begun to jerk off, which was fine and during this time I thought he had put on a condom. He proceeded to enter me and we started having sex this lasted for about 5 minutes until I looked on my dresser and saw the condom. I immediately stopped and asked if he had put one on to which he responded "no, but I was going to." I was little irritated and wasn't really in the mood after. We laid around talking after and he told me he felt like perhaps he masturbated too much which is why he couldn't perform and I agreed that could have something to do with it. So he asked if we could hook-up twice a week rather than just once because though he didn't want to masturbate as much - if he didn't it messed with his head. I again said I couldn't make that promise, but we could see.
Okay, this is so long, and if you made if this far, thank you. My question is: is the guy kind of a creep or am I just being too hard on him? I've been feeling a little icked out by him since the no condom thing and thought the comment about his sexual needs again seemed some what pressuring...thoughts? (link)
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Among the many other issues that are jumping out at me the main one is, you can't trust him! When he chose not to wear that condom without telling you that should have been the end of it right there, point blank period dot! He could have given you God knows what disease(because apparently he chooses not to wear condoms!)or he could have gotten you pregnant!Then there is the masturbation till he can't perform issue, the flirting with the girlfriend issue...He sounds like a first class creeper to me!
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Since 3yrs I have been married. I am trying to getting adjusted with my mother in law and husband but not successful. Though my husband is good generally in all aspects except on tackling me and my mother in law issues. I have tried to do many adjustments and infact she also but nothing works for long. I have asked many times to my husband that better we will leave separately from inlaws, he said yes but not ready for it finally. On daily or alternate basis something happens, sometimes she gets pinched sometimes I got pinched. It is that bad now that it affects my health, my relation with my husband and with my 3.5 yr old kid. I don't know what to do it now, Iam very depressed and I have developed suicidal tendencies very badly but not in a position to do it as I am lacking that courage to take it.
Please tell what to do? (link)
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I am going to assume from the tone of your letter that you live in a culture where this type of arrangement is somewhat normal? Here in America I would tell you to pack up your child, move out ASAP and give hubby the choice to come along or stay with Mama! However I do realize that this type of thinking does not exist in many cultures. You need to to tell your husband exactly what you have told us here. Tell him how seriously this is affecting you and make him understand that he has to do something to help you NOW! You also need to get to a doctor and explain the feelings you are having. Whatever you do please don't act on these feelings! Your child will be the one who suffers the most if you do. Do you have any family or friends you could talk to who might be willing to help you if you have to get out of there? Do not try to handle this alone! It is a downright shame your husband can't be man and stand up to his mother! What would happen if you stood up to her? As I said not knowing your culture I don't want to advise you to do something that might make your situation worse. I certainly hope you have at least one other alternative besides having to stay there! Good luck to you!
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I've been talking to a guy for a couple of months now and its been rocky the whole time. I'm usually one to hold on and hope things get better but I'm literally on the verge of calling everything quits. I am very angry at him and I dont know what to do. You see, our relationship went through a mishap and it never really fully recovered. We didn't go out for long either but we both had hopes it was going to be a promising relationship.
Anyway, for numerous times I have told him things aren't right and they need to change. He acknowledges it but doesn't do anything to help me out halfway. He used to say that I never really acted like I cared enough for him and because of that he stopped trying. But I don't understand how does one stop trying yet still have expectations from the other person. Whenever I would bring up the issue, he would say "I'm not about the one way chase". I dont understand how you can say that when youre not even trying. Obviously there is miscommunication, but I've tried to reach out quite a lot and sometimes he just brushes it off.
He friendzones me in public and I do the same as a result because I don't want to look like I'm chasing after him..(we have a huge group of friends). We don't even talk much anymore.
The other day I texted him asking if we are through. He said he would call me and that I seem happy to be through with him. I simply replied "no. I just want to know." never heard from him since.
Should I just call it quits? I mean I really liked this guy. If it wasn't for this personality flaw, he would be perfect for me. And I'm 21. I want a serious relationship. I feel like most people would have given up already but for some reason I had a hard time letting go. But I've been pushed over and over to not care as much and not get worked up over his lack of affection. Things were great when we first started so I know it can be better. Its just, given the way things have been going for a while, I'm doubtful it will ever return there. Maybe we just had bad timing with our relationship but I would really like to know if giving up is my next step. I have tried to be the mature one and initiate the talks but now I feel like I've done my part and he's done nothing on his. (link)
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I just have one question. When you say "I really liked this guy" Why? I think maybe he put on good show at first but he sounds to me like a whiny little two year old who can never get enough attention. Oh, boo hoo you don't care enough for me, Wah, YOU need to chase ME! Oh, God girl, let it go, let it go.....
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I have been feeling super jealous lately. I don't know why, I'm not usually like this. It all started when my boyfriend said he was going to get drinks with co-workers after work last friday. Most of them women. And I just didn't like that he was going without me. (I work late and couldn't go) What's more is that he didn't even tell me he was going until I asked him to do something after work. Also he carpools with this girl, who almost never pays him gas money, and I find out that she went to the bar after work two Fridays ago, and he bought her nearly $30 in drinks.
Anyways, I told him that I really dont like what's happening and I would prefer he doesn't go for drinks after work. Carpooling is one thing but alcohol doesn't need to be involved. And he said in a nutshell, too bad you need to trust me. Like, I do trust him but what he's doing makes me so uncomfortable, and he just thinks I'm overreacting.
Btw, I'm 21 my bf is 24. Together 5 years.
I need some advice here. Should I be feeling like this? Am I overreacting? Or am I right to feel this way? I just don't know. (link)
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The problem is not so much WHAT he is doing but how he is handling your reaction to it! You have told him how badly this situation is upsetting you and he isn't taking your feelings into consideration. The response he gave you seems very self centered and immature if you ask me. Personally, I think he should have tried to reassure you and comfort you. This lack of empathy for your feelings does not bode well for this relationship. Everything he is doing may be perfectly innocent and there may be no reason in the world not to trust him but that isn't what this issue is about. Once you tell a man who loves you that you are upset, he should be concerned for you and not just blow it off or put the blame back on you for "overreacting". (Personally, I hate that word). No one should ever make you ashamed for having an honest emotion or belittle you because you don't react to a situation in the same way someone else might. I think maybe you have some deeper issues going on in your relationship that need to be addressed. I hope he realizes the pain he is causing you and has enough maturity to do what it takes to make things right again. Good luck to you both!
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