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getting fed up
I've been talking to a guy for a couple of months now and its been rocky the whole time. I'm usually one to hold on and hope things get better but I'm literally on the verge of calling everything quits. I am very angry at him and I dont know what to do. You see, our relationship went through a mishap and it never really fully recovered. We didn't go out for long either but we both had hopes it was going to be a promising relationship.
Anyway, for numerous times I have told him things aren't right and they need to change. He acknowledges it but doesn't do anything to help me out halfway. He used to say that I never really acted like I cared enough for him and because of that he stopped trying. But I don't understand how does one stop trying yet still have expectations from the other person. Whenever I would bring up the issue, he would say "I'm not about the one way chase". I dont understand how you can say that when youre not even trying. Obviously there is miscommunication, but I've tried to reach out quite a lot and sometimes he just brushes it off.
He friendzones me in public and I do the same as a result because I don't want to look like I'm chasing after him..(we have a huge group of friends). We don't even talk much anymore.
The other day I texted him asking if we are through. He said he would call me and that I seem happy to be through with him. I simply replied "no. I just want to know." never heard from him since.
Should I just call it quits? I mean I really liked this guy. If it wasn't for this personality flaw, he would be perfect for me. And I'm 21. I want a serious relationship. I feel like most people would have given up already but for some reason I had a hard time letting go. But I've been pushed over and over to not care as much and not get worked up over his lack of affection. Things were great when we first started so I know it can be better. Its just, given the way things have been going for a while, I'm doubtful it will ever return there. Maybe we just had bad timing with our relationship but I would really like to know if giving up is my next step. I have tried to be the mature one and initiate the talks but now I feel like I've done my part and he's done nothing on his.
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I just have one question. When you say "I really liked this guy" Why? I think maybe he put on good show at first but he sounds to me like a whiny little two year old who can never get enough attention. Oh, boo hoo you don't care enough for me, Wah, YOU need to chase ME! Oh, God girl, let it go, let it go.....
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You should stop initiating contact with him - wait for him to come to you - and you should not do anything sexual with him beyond kissing for the foreseeable future. I wouldn't call this giving up, I would call it holding out for more. Sometimes in life we love and care for people who are too lazy to be there for us. It isn't giving up to decide that you want better for yourself. He could always man up and be there for you. But you can't make him be a good boyfriend.
Believe moi. Moi has a charm that is lethal to men.
Miss Piggy
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