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I aim to give you solid advice on your problems. I don't sugarcoat things and I'm always straight up. Don't come asking for what you want to hear as I always give the truth even if you don't want it because it's what you need and the only way to grow.
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I really want a hamster but my parents won't let me get one. I am very responsible and I get honor roll grades I also don't have any pets. I asked her why she won't let me buy one and the supplies for one with MY OWN money and she said it was because I would lose interest in it and because what would happen if we went on a trip. I responded by saying that one of my friends or a family member could take care of it while we were gone and that I wouldn't lose interest in it because I have never lost interest in something living. Then she said remember your brothers pet ( he lost interest in it so it died). I researched the breed of hamster I wanted to get too. And I have enough $$$. How should I ask my mom if I can get a hamster or not? (link)
You have done all you can do having plead your case. Nobody can be convinced to do anything they don't want to. You could be heavily researched and it may not factor in to the decision. She wants you to SHOW not TELL her you are responsible and can handle a pet.

Do your parents own or rent your place? If they rent there may be some kind of rule about pets of any variety. If there's not it's about what your brother did to that poor animal by neglecting it and or your lack of responsibility, maturity or along that line in other areas.

She wants to see you are responsible and that everything you've said isn't just smoke to get what you want. I have a feeling if you really show her you are responsible in all aspects of your life that constant good behavior may yield what you want sooner and better than repeatedly pleading your case which doesn't indicate you're ready. You might be surprised to see how things fair.


I have a friend.SHe's 16/f,and her boyfriend broke up with her,over a religion difference.So she dated someone else to make him jealous.So he then went out with her bff to make her jealous.She doesn't know what to do.What should I tell her? (link)
Tell her not to date someone just out of retaliation. That's wrong and she needs to see that as not being fair. That's the first item to discuss.

Tell her that he's not worth it and an idiot to be frank for dumping her over religious convictions. It says a lot for him and his character.

The issue with her best-friend is one that you better not get involved in. She has to see for herself that she was betrayed and address this person when ready. Be there for her and listen if she expresses her feelings about all of this.

She needs to see she's lucky not being with this jerk and that her religious and moral choices come first and that the right person respects that. She's lucky no matter how much she liked him to be free of someone as shallow and weak as him.

Tell her to wait a while and let things simmer down so she can think straight and then confront them both and move on. There will be tons of guys willing to date her and this is just one loser who missed out in a sea of millions. Be there for her and do more listening than offering of opinion at this point. This is what she needs most now.


im looking to buy a pair of new shoes online. i know that some brands run bigger than others. i have a pair of niked that are 9.5 and a pair of pumas that i cant tell the size of. the shoes i want are pumas. does anyone know if i take a 9.5 in nike what it would be in puma? (link)
If I were you I would save yourself any hassle over returns and buy them from the outlet or shoe store rather than online. Get the name of the shoe and seek it out in malls. As you know a 9.5 in Nike won't necessarily be the same size in a Puma or any other shoe. That's why we can't pinpoint the same size easily.

One of the biggest pain in the butt with shoes is not the size but the arch and the width. I find that Nike in particular has an extremely small width for each size and weird arches in everything it makes. This makes it very hard to find the right fit as the problem always comes down to that over size.

I would look to Reebok as I've never found an trouble with them or tell the shoe sore you want Puma's shoe and see if you find your fit. Be sure to get your feet measured at a shoe store before buying anything so if you did go the online route you can see the difference in size per brand and get it exact.


Hey,

I'm a nineteen year old female, and my boyfriend is 21. We've dating for a few months and such, and now we are having this consistent problem.

Well, we've been having sex and such, which there used to be some problems because he was so inexperienced. He then got better and we did it a lot. And since last week, he can no longer.. 'get it up.'

At first I took it offensively.. cause it was for a few days. But then I decided it was just something that happens, which is true. But after a week there's still no changing. He doesn't even seem interested. He wont even try to like.. do anything to me and such.

It's like he completely lost interest in that whole aspect. And to be honest, it's just infuriating, cause I know he's just over thinking. I tried everything. I really did. But nothing works. I don't tell him he's pissing me off, but I'm so close. He just treats me so different now, that I'm debating just throwing this relationship away just because of sex.

I know it sounds selfish, but hey, he'd probably do the same shit if I wasn't working. I don't know what to do. Any advice? (link)
It would be wrong to end a loving relationship over this. The problem has nothing to do with physical attraction or loss of interest. Nine times out of ten it's a medical issue.

Check to see if he's taking any medication be it new or old with dosages changed or out of whack. They could have adverse affect in this area. It could take him longer to achieve or maintain blood flow to that area. An illness could also be causing the problem. If so seek out a urologist.

There are novelty products out there that are plastic rings that work and trap blood in his genitals specifically designed to combat this problem. You might want to check that out as it could help you.

The fact he's embarrassed is difficult and if you've shown him frustration it wouldn't have helped. He also could have an irrational fear or something psychologically blocking him with sex in general. Try talking about this without blame and look at your options to fix the issue.


im due for an upgrade this month on my phone, and i found this out a year ago when my mom got HER upgrade. i havent payed my bill yet, and today on my account it said that i dont have one til 2012, because i have a past due balance. if i payed it would it go back to me having an upgrade this month? (link)
You need to have her call the provider for you. She has to get your account settled first of all. I'm not sure how overdue your balance is but it sounds not by much. I would handle that first.

It takes awhile but if you don't pay something overdue for a few months lets say or when they tell you they want you to they'll send a threatening letter. They then escalate it to collections.

You have to make sure it's something you can simply pay off and forget about first. Find out where you stand with them first. If you just missed a payment by a few days than I doubt it's an issue once you pay them.

Your mother can tell the provider what they said to you about an upgrade and speak to a supervisor who can either deny or give you the phone before 2012 with no penalty or issue. Each provider would be different.




WHENEVER i give my kitty food he immediatly hisses at me, not only me but everyone that tries to feed him, we dont do anything to bother him, he purs on us and loves to play with us and everything! but when it comes to food he snatches it away and starts hissing us soo much, :( why is he doing this? (link)
Be careful. Once you put that food down walk away and let him eat because he's in defensive mode. It's a territorial thing and dogs have it too to a higher degree. If you move it or go near it a cat will hiss and a dog will give a menacing growl and believe me no matter what your relationship they'll bite or feign if luckier.

It's meant to tell you not to get any closer or I'll bite you to defend what's mine. Don't touch him or go near when he's eating. Just put the food down and walk away and it will be fine. It's normal behavior he's using defensive tactics to protect treats and more importantly his dinner. The hiss means you're too close for his comfort.




Every time I have to present something in class I get nervous standing in front of everyone. My knees shake and my voice starts trembling and changing. I had to present yesterday and my knees were shaking in front of everyone and my voice was shaking. It was embarrassing. I know most of my classmates, I don't know why I get nervous. I can't just pretend Im presenting to one person either. Sometimes I get so nervous people Laugh at me. I have to present something again on next tuesday, so how can I stop my knees and my voice from shaking? (link)
I have done a lot of public speaking over the years and there's one technique I know that works for nervous folks like you. It doesn't involve picturing people doing goofy things either but if that helps...

Before you present give yourself a mental pep-talk. Pretend that you are a world leader or a very important person with an urgent message to deliver of which people depend on. Keep telling yourself that and that your classmates are the general public who must hear your presentation.

Next pick 1 person it should be your best friend, teacher or someone who supports you. Stick them in the front row center and talk directly to them and look a few times left, right and nod to show them you know they're there and focus back on the friend and ride it out.

If a friend isn't handy try the same thing by picking 3 different spots on a wall to talk to always focusing on the center and briefly look to audience's right and left and back at center. That's what Barack Obama does except that dead center is his script on a teleprompter so he has more of a cheat than you.

As far as knees shaking goes there's two ways around that. Ask your teacher if you can place a desk in front of you because you need access to your notes so you don't miss points you want to make. Nobody can see your knees behind a desk.

The second is harder but it's to focus on delivering the message and nothing else in your mind. If you can practice that the knees and nerves will fade gradually. I know you can do it.

Think about it this way: Even Barack Obama gets nervous behind the podium especially at huge moments when the world watches. Nobody knows what his knees are doing behind a desk as he's all business with his message. Be on message and forget all else when up there. Let me know how you do.


I have an issue with having a lot of panic attacks. I get them at least once every 3-4 months and it's killing me! It's tiring and very embarrassing especially when it happens in front of people. It happened at school twice before, once last year and once this year (so far; I hope no more), and people either thought that I was faking something or trying to get attention, but that is NOT the case. I hate it more than anyone and I just want them to stop.

My parents even think that I'm trying to get attention. Even when they took me to the doctor and he told them to bring me to therapy they told him they would and never did so. I never wanted to go anyway because I hate feeling like I have something wrong with me that's not normally contained by other people. Even so, if it would help me get rid of this, then I'm open to that option. When I asked them about it they told me that I had nothing wrong with me and that I'd eventually get over it.

I've been having panic attacks for 5 years! From the time I was 11 years old to the age I am now, 16 years old. So getting over it doesn't seem to be coming anytime soon.

I've been doing the breathing in through the nose out through the mouth thing, sucking on cough drops, lying flat on my back to open my chest, and the telling myself the I'm OK thing too. These things help to an extent, but very little when I'm actually in the process of having the attack. Please give any suggestions that you see helpful for panic attacks (anything besides the things I've listed, thanks). (link)
Your parents and others you are in daily contact with are oblivious that this is a medical problem and not something of your own invention. It's a mental health issue and a disorder that needs to be treated by a psychiatrist and medication or it will become consuming.

As you have seen already not acting for 5 years has made it worse. You need help before it becomes a crisis that nobody can deny is real. Your family, friends and even teachers are ignorant to the fact that you aren't doing this for attention and that it's not something you can hide or make go away.

What you need is medical treatment and if they can't give it you than you have to seek it yourself. Get assessed at an emergency room and get helped that way as it is an emergency when it's taking over your life and you can't function properly or without it happening.

They say putting your head between your legs and breathing while thinking of anything that relaxes you can help somewhat but long term you'll need help as this is something that is escalating and has been for 5 years. Also, tell any adult you trust that a doctor said you needed X, Y, Z plus meds your parents won't do anything about and have them force your parent\s hands.

I really don't understand regardless of the situation why your parents didn't follow through on what the doctor told them about this and yourself without getting a second opinion if in doubt. That to me is awful and wrong. Most adults if they heard that would have a real problem with them not getting this checked out further.


Well yeah I am feeling suicidal,

I just completed my ALevels in the UK and got my results about 2 weeks ago. I didn't do as well as I expected.
I literally worked so so so hard and at the end of it I didn't achieve the grades I needed to get into the medicine course at University.
The problem is all I've ever wanted to be was a doctor and I tried soso hard and just didn't make it. In the 2 years it took to do my alevels every single failure has just upset me more and more and now I really don't see the point in life.

Being a doctor means everything to me. The reason being, I lost quite a close fried just before I started alevel course and he commit suicide. This rereally upset me and I've talked about his death to my girlfriend at the time and still my girlfriend for over a year. I know that all I've wanted to do since that point is I wanted to be a doctor to help kids who feel like that.

I turned 18 a few months back and I have felt this feeling ever since I realised I can't do medicine. Its all I want to do, I've asked universities to accept me up to the point of begging but I understand that it will never happen.

My parents are v.supportive and told me to keep at it and as I asked them I told them make sure I stay in the house and just keep working till I get there. But realistically from the 2/3 weeks ago I got my results I know it will never happen and I just don't know what is the point in living this life when I am just empty.

Idk why I am posting on here I just feel like I need someone to talk to:/ (link)
Sometimes life's plan for us unfolds differently from what we may have wanted. Almost always it turns out far better. You may not become a doctor but that doesn't mean you still can't have a rewarding career helping troubled kids or those in need of support and or care.

If you really want to help kids look into career paths where you can do that which don't require a medical degree. Social work for instance. More specifically you could be a Child and Youth Worker who has a case load in schools with at risk students and their parents and helping them succeed. You would be taking psych courses for this but not needing to be a doctor or on that path.

There's a lot you can do even if you don't go to medical school. Suicide isn't an answer even when something profoundly disappointing comes along. It's a high price to pay and sure enough all problems are solvable and temporary although they may not yield swiftly.

As for your friend I know he/she would want you to succeed and that even if you weren't a doctor that's okay. They would know you would do something incredible with the skills you have to help kids in his/her position anyway.

What I want you to do is talk to a teacher you trust and tell them that you worked your ass off in A-levels but still didn't earn high enough to be a doctor. Tell them what you dream to do for kids and see if they know a career path you could take to achieve those goals while not being a doctor. You may be surprised at how many choices you have that you may not have even been aware of. There's always more than one way to achieve what you wanted and to make an impact.


i, I'm a 19 years old girl currently studying in university. I have no close friends since high school and now I'm finding it hard to find friends in uni. Im not shy to initiate conversation and tried lo lift up conversation. However, most of the time people don't seem to be interested. I used to have a friend who I met at uni orientation. We are not close but same classes made us see each other frequently. She is smart and serious type of girl, and I always be very careful not to say anything insulting. But since I start second semester, she avoids me. I can't ask her what happen because I'm too scared and I'm finding myself alone. I know something must be wrong in my personality because this problem always happen. During high school, in first year I hung a lot with many friends, but then the numbers progressively decrease since then and in my final year, I only have 1 close friends who I can share anything with. How should I change myself? Thanks for anyone who answers this question...I really need the advice (link)
Don't change yourself. It's not your personality. This friend is more of an acquaintance than a friend because you see her sporadically and have nothing established (yet) outside of those times when you bump into her.

It's not personal at all. She's not ignoring you and probably hasn't been around much due to her schedule of courses, studying, and trying to balance everything else in her path. She's likely not snubbing you and has no idea you feel that way.

Next time you see her start talking to her and find out if she would like to be friends and hangout sometime. That's how you move a friendship forward and I'm sure that will work. You won't find yourself alone but you will if you don't act on this lead. If she were outright avoiding you which I doubt that's her issue not yours. Move on if she's not receptive after you talk to her.

When it comes to university a lot of people are wrapped up in their courses, studying and themselves that finding time for friends isn't easy. They also tend to stick to people in their program or those who share the same interests. You have to approach people whom you feel fit yours and talk to them and see what happens. Also attend student association events and try to meet people there. I know you will eventually.

Guess what? Most of the U.S./ Canadian or what have you population only have 1-2 solid friends they can trust in any circumstance. If you have that already than cherish it and realize most people haven't that even. You'll be fine.

Continue being genuine and who you are and stay true to it and don't change. People can spot something being fake to fit in very easily. If you continue meeting people, talking to them etc. sooner or later you will hit it off with people. Also relax because people can sense tension, desperation or that you are uncomfortable. Just be you and everything (it takes time) will click into place soon.



what does cached mean (link)
I PASTED THIS FROM THE INTERNET FOR YOU, IT'S NOT MY WRITING: LINK TO CONTENT: http://www.cyberisle.com/news/cache_clear.htm

QUOTE"The cache (pronounced "cash") is a space in your computer's hard drive and in RAM memory where your browser saves copies of previously visited Web pages. Your browser uses the cache like a short-term memory. Instead of downloading an image from a recently viewed website, it will load the image from your cache folder, thereby making the browsing process a little quicker.

You can clear your cache (that is, delete all the files in your cache / computer memory) when they begin to occupy too much hard drive space, or when the files in the memory / cache get out of date and no longer correspond to the files on the Web server. (If you are not viewing a current version of the web page)" END QUOTE.


I'm 21/female. My very best friend recently met her boyfriend, and brought him home to meet me and our family. It's important to note that she has been very very sick for four years; she can rarely leave the house and suffers from an incurable illness that leaves her very weak. While we are happy for her that she may be falling in love, we are VERY suspicious of her new beau. He has been rude, immature and controlling. He touches her ass and sticks his tongue in her mouth when we are in the room. We doubt his intentions and he is very disrespectful to her mother. We worry he has white knight syndrome. She doesn't see him the same way and it has caused a rift to grow between our beloved family.

She has changed so much since she started dating this man. What do I do? What does her family do? I cannot lose this girl, she is my angel. As she is so sick, we cannot simply leave her in this man's care, but if we say anything, she gets upset with us. Please, please help.
(link)
I think you should mention to her that you were offended by her boyfriend's behavior and found it boorish and not normal. Maybe he has a problem of his own that you don't know about perhaps intellectual that causes him to act inappropriately at times.

Also, no matter what illness she has or is recovering from you all have to stop treating her like broken glass or fragile even if she is. It will harm her mentally, emotionally and affect being able to move forward. Treat her like someone without and give her room to breathe and make decisions even on relationships that you may or may not agree with. Making her feel as though she were fragile and sick will only serve to keep her in that state. She's knows how to handle the illness and is trying to lead a normal life with relationships, friends etc. Let her do that.

Whom she dates is really up to her and harping on him past saying what I told you to in the first paragraph will likely piss her off more than anything else. What's happening here is likely a relationship based on conveinence and nothing else or maybe there's qualities he does have that she likes.

I doubt it's White Knight Syndrome and you may be judging him harshly on that one bad meeting. Most guys don't date girls with illnesses and vice versa so I can't see why he would be with her even with an illness if it weren't genuine. He hasn't demonstrated taking advantage of her yet so give benefit of doubt.

You'll lose your friend if you keep on her with a we don't like him vibe. But do point out being offended. It's up to her to talk to him and make choices about the relationship not you, not your family. The only way to lose her is to be in the middle trying to influence her to drop him. It will only lead to tension much like what you're seeing now. She has to see for herself what others already might on her own. No amount of telling her will change her perception from what I can see based on her being annoyed at you already.


So please try to understand me and what I'm about to say. I'm a sixteen year old female and I've had the same group of friends since I was in 6th grade we're in 10th grade now. There are six girls within our 'group'. Two of which I can trust and tell anything and not be afraid of them judging me or talking about me behind my back. Another two I can tell things too but I don't know how they really feel because they tend to agree with anyone who is talking; I kind of think they don't like confrontation and just kind of follow what everyone else at the time is saying and just go along with it. The last two are the ones who I have the most problems with lately and who were also my closest friends and constantly judge what I do- I will refer to these to as Kellie and Laine since they are the ones this question is mainly directed towards.

Ever since 7th grade I knew I wanted to experiment with different things one of which would be drugs. My group of friends and I started drinking in the summer going into 8th grade and have been ever since. In the summer going into 9th grade me and a few of them started smoking weed- Laine found she didn't like smoking and quit after her 2nd time, while Kellie and I smoked weed whenever we had the opportunity too. During 9th grade, Kellie and I also did ecstasy together and started to go to parties every weekend up until she got caught at the beginning of this summer and we had to stop hanging out a lot. This summer, I tried benadryl and that's when problems arose. Kellie and Laine saw this as a huge no-no. I know my limitations and I always research what I take before hand just to be as safe as I possibley can. I found I didn't like benadryl so I know I won't do it again. This summer, I also took up smoking cigarettes not on a daily basis and only on occasion. When I told Kellie and Laine they again told me how stupid it was and how bad. But I just don't care. So a few weeks later when Kellie asked for a cigarette I was surprised but gave one to her and when we were at a party and Laine saw her smoking I tried to cover for her. Since then, four of my friends have taken up smoking as a occasional thing. Remember that during this time Kellie's mother didn't like us hanging out and Kellie always told me how she wanted to party with me soon again but I felt I couldn't because her mother would be furious. About a week ago her mother allowed us to hang out again. Kellie seemed to want to start partying with me again but I just don't feel right if we do that so soon after being unpunished so I'm not going to for a while. I have so many memories with this girl.

This summer I also got a boyfriend, David, who I care deeply about and who also cares immensely for me. He goes to another school so my friends don't know him well except for what I tell them which isn't a lot because they never seem to care. He and I will do drugs occasionally together. On Friday him and I were hanging out with his friend and one of my friends in our 'group'. The rest of the 'group' went to this fair were I was supposed to meet up with them later. We took drugs that night. I took ambien. I found myself not going to the fair and meeting up with them. So we drove to Kellie's house (where they were all staying the night) and they met David for the first time but 4/5 of them were pissed at me because I had blown them off so it was not a pleasant encounter. I gave one of them a cigarette which she asked for and then they made us leave. We left knowing they were so pissed and kind of just laughed it off because we were having a good time. So the girl who really didn't care and I trust not to bad mouth me came over today and I had her tell me what they were saying about me. I found out that Kellie and Laine were talking about how if I get worse they were thinking about telling the person I care most about which is my uncle. I know they won't have the guts to do that, and I know I'm not gonna get 'worse', I know my uncle will still love me and not judge me as they do, and I know they wouldn't want me to tell there dad or someone important to them if they were me, and I know telling my uncle will absolutely have no effect. The thing is I get on honor roll, and I get along with people, and drugs is just something I do on the weekends. They act as if I am a herion addict spiraling out of control. That is not the case. They should know that when I need help for myself I will get it. They should know if they want to help me they should just be my friend, except it, and wait for me to come to them. By Kellie doing so she is being a hyprocrit. She knows if she was me she would be doing the same exact thing, she won't admit it but it has happened countless of times. I was told they said “They would be devastated if something happened to me”, “they WANT something bad to happen to me so I can learn a lesson”. I just think what they say is just awful. They have also said “drugs are more important to her than her friends” and that “she thinks google tells her everything!” Both of these are untrue. My usage doesn't have to involve them if they didn't let it. And true I use the internet to find out information but I check countless of sites to get the most accurate facts I can. The truth is they don't even know the half of it. They never asked me what happened that night. They don't care to even try to understand. I find it hard to believe that they “care about me so much” when they talk bad about me without even attempting to hear what actually happened. I find them extememly petty and immature. I know if things keep going as they do we won't last as friends much longer. Which I kind of feel is inevatable but I also don't want to happen. I know my limitations, and I know what I want. I just wish they wouldn't worry so much about things they really don't need to stress to worry about. They may say they 'only care about me' but if they really cared wouldn't they try to understand and stay my friend? (link)
You could read an encyclopedia on drugs and would still never have the upper-hand on them and could still die from hard drug use and or experimentation with pills and substances.

A lot of addicts and people like Chris Farley, River Phoenix and John Belushi thought they could function and knew all about drugs. They paid the ultimate price for so-called knowledge. Even if you survive you always pay a hard price for playing with fire.

Your friends love you but do not love your lifestyle choices and can see that you're headed in the wrong direction. Like a lot of people who use substances many can't see what others see as a problem or think they're in control when they aren't.

So, they tell your uncle. All that would happen in the long run is you not using drugs or getting help to not touch them again. Not a bad situation.
Real friends speak up about what they know isn't right. They wouldn't be true friends otherwise.

As for your boyfriend and Kellie -- If you want honesty any friends or lovers who only have using drugs in common with you and not much else aren't real friends when you aren't all high.

What is even more troubling is that you have always had the mentality of an addict and have actually wanted to experiment like this your whole life etc. and now are doing it regularly. That's not normal behavior or outlook for anyone. You could use some counseling to figure out why and to wake up.

You may think you know your limitations and all about drugs and being safe but you don't. Nobody does and getting in over your head or winding up dead because of it isn't good. Your friends are acting out of concern and not judgment because they can see where things are going whereas you can't or won't see what you are doing is wrong.


so i like this guy. he was in my school and passed out this year. i am a year junior to him so i'll pass out next year!
i have been talking to him for quite a while now.. and i really like him. he likes me too. he asked me out recently.(though we both are confused on what to do because.. the problem is he is going to another country :/ for his college! and yeah well he would come back to where i live cause his family is here, but still i mean i dont know what i should do?) (link)
Deal with now. All you have is this moment and not the future. The future doesn't exist yet. If you want a relationship go for it. You never know what may happen with plans falling through or him coming back from abroad. It's better to enjoy the relationship now than to have not had it.


Im 22 and hes 29 we been together for 10 months and since a week we broke up, we both wanted it because we would fight and argue so much..for these reasons: i would always be with my friends , go out, enjoy life and he wanted me and him to be a team. He ddi everyhthing for me..i didnt do much I would tell him taht I love him but I didnt show it. a day after our break up i fell apart, i miss him so much I truly love him but he was my first relationship and i did so many mistakes. Now i talked to him and he says that he loves me but the last thing he wants is a relatinship because he gave me all his love and i didnt apreciate i at all. i cried told him pleas egive me a second chance he wont. but at the same time he wnats me in his life and doenst want to lose me as a friend. I know hes happy without me and i feel so bad. what should i do? :( (link)
You need to wait. What you really need to do is take some time away from one another and cool down. Figure out over the course of the next month what it is you want, if you truly want him back, and whether you should try pursuing even a friendship.

Right now he's confused and needs to go through this process first and get through disappointment, anger and hurt as do you.

He blames you for pretty much everything and says you don't appreciate him. Where's he getting this feeling from and how can you change that? Also, that's not 100% your fault as believe me he's made mistakes and it's a fatal flaw if he can't acknowledge it.

Wait and see what happens and go about your business and world as though he weren't in it for about a month or two and wait and see if he approaches you about that second chance because you acted maturely by backing off.

Finally, getting back together if it in fact happens won't work if you don't know what it really was that caused the issue in the first place and can both address that first. You have work to do together to make sure the same issues don't have a chance to develop further or you'll wind up here again and in more pain than before.

You have to figure out if he's worth it as right now he's hurt and has to be the one to come to you first. If he doesn't than it wasn't meant to be and you'll have to process the lessons it taught you for the future.



I play soccer and I made the school team.

Some background info you should know about me- I've been playing soccer for about 12 years, I play for an elite club team and not to be cocky, but I think I'm a great player. In the past few years for my old school, i've always been a "benchwarmer".. meaning I didn't get to play much in games. I am SO sick of being a benchwarmer. i really want to be on the starting lineup and right now i'm working my ass off to be on the starting lineup.

Well there's this other chick on the team who is from a different state. She plays the same position as me. I've competed against other girls before.. but this time its so weird. I feel like i'm working really hard to earn my spot, but the coach always picks the other girl over me. She gives her more recognition and acknowledges her more than me. She is an okay player, but I know that i'm better than her. Its not fair that i'm working really hard but the coach is acknowledging her more.

I'm really stuck on what to do. I know I shouldn't have a bad attitude, so i'm trying my best to stay positive and work harder. But it seems like no matter what I do or how hard I try, the coach will always pick her over me.

we have our first scrimmage in 2 days and if i'm not on the starting lineup then, then I'm going to talk to the coach and ask her whats going on. But what else do you suggest I do? thanks! (link)
Anyone making the starting lineup or having a key position on a team has to be a team player and good about being out front or hanging back.

Your coach probably (undoubtedly) knows your record and expects you to know how good you are and that you'll work hard without being told. He may be showing her extra attention and using her because she's new, good, and needs the kind of encouragement to be great that you may not need.

Your problem is you think you are too good and have this sense of entitlement to you where you expect the position to be handed to you on a platter. You have to play silently and continue to show you are good enough like everyone else.

I'm sure he will notice but people around you on the team are sensing that it's "all about you" and that you have an attitude of "better than us" etc. etc. and that attitude may be what keeps him from using you.

You should start changing how you feel about your abilities which may or may not be as good as you think and start playing soccer because you love it and anything else just happens. Forget starting lineup or the position you want and just play out of enjoyment. You'll end up farther doing that.

Try talking to him but he's bound to mention 90% of what I said. If after a few months you're still being benched (which won't happen) then you can move on. Show this other girl some love and support and be a friend. Don't begrudge her for being good as you wouldn't want people to be jealous of you in the same position.


Ive been racing for a while i guess but lately i havent been doing so well. I drive a standard 2010 mustang v6; and was wondering if any experienced racers could give me some advice, tips and tricks to becoming faster and pushing my car to its limits, thank you (link)
I'm not sure where you are based but I would look into the Skip Barber racing school for starters and then look on Google for other schools. They do exist. Another thing you can do is look into the Indy Racing Experience.

They'll allow you to drive a Dallara Indycar at about 50% less power than those on the track in a race. A regular driver or skid school program can also help because those techniques transfer over to racing as well. Go_karting in a league where cars race according to F1 rules at about 80km indoors is also good as you're racing against people with skill. There's tons of those tracks around.

POST SCRIPT: The Indy Racing Experience costs about $500 American to do 3 laps driving it or 1-3 laps being driven in a two-seater. It's done at Disney World and a few other places but I get you on the student thing.

Go-karting could work for you provided you joined an arrive and drive league. That's where they cover car damage, provide the vehicle, fire-suit, gloves, helmet to you at each indoor race. They also do it outdoor. You'll have to look around but that option won't break your bank as membership is always pretty low. The license to race is the part that costs a bit if I recall.


I spent a long weekend with my boyfriend but we couldn't afford much food so I lived for 3 days on 2 bags of maltessers from a vending machine (chocolate). anyway, I'm on the pill and had literally just finished my first 7 day break so was starting the second strip, except on the third day when we were coming back home, he had something to do so i sat waiting for a few hours and suddenly I felt really sick and had to run to throw up. I was fine that morning it wasn't until I had been sat waiting for a long time. we had had sex the night before but he never finishes inside me.

Anyway so I was feeling poorley and had some water but I still felt quite bad and was shakey, when we got outside and started walking again I felt much better but then we got on a bus and i felt it coming back, that was the last time though.
He thinks it was a sort of panic reaction because I get very nervous about traveling and it was my first time away from my mum so that makes sense plus I hadn't eaten pretty much anything decent for a while and by the afternoon I felt much better and was back to being myself (he bought me some chips and chicken when he had finished and I had a drink I am more used to as I don't drink much water normally).

So my question is, was I poorley for the reasons he thinks or could it be something serious? it was about three days ago and I havn't gone back to feeling bad since then, especially now I am home with my mum again.

Thankyou ^^ (link)
It hasn't anything to do with sexual activity. Living off of nothing but chocolate and or junk food for 3 days will upset your stomach no question and could easily result in being physically ill. This usually is so when you have anxiety, ulcers or anything else on top.

Probably all it is--an overload of what you ate. We're not doctors but I'd venture to say that's all it is. Are you on any medicine especially something new or longstanding? That can do it if you miss dosages or anything like that.

I'm not sure how BC pills work when it comes to being on time or upchucking. With most pills a doctor told me if you had a previous dose 12 hours earlier and then vomited the second dose you should be fine as long as it stayed in you for about an 1hr to 2hrs. There's enough in your blood stream according to them.

You should get that panic issue seen to as it sounds medical and could be resolved with proper treatment. Also, if you feel shakey you need water big-time and to be hydrated. It should stop then. You need the water and should be drinking it often as not at all is bad. 3-4 or so bottles a day is about right sick or not.

Call your pharmacist and tell them what happened. They can advise you further on medication you take and those pills in particular.



Its burned the hell out of my face , my face was throbbing but I heard it helps with acne. It made my face a little red, but I heard that happens sometimes. Does it get rid of scars and acne? (link)

I'm reasonably sure it won't do a thing for severe acne and scars and nor will anything bought on TV or over the counter.

Despite never hearing about this baking soda remedy I know for a fact nothing will work on severe acne or scars but strong medication and a visit from a dermatologist who will prescribe it for your face. That works to eat away what clogs your pores and results in severe acne.

Anything else won't due the trick on severe acne because there won't be anything prescription strength in it. A dermatologist will know exactly what to do about the scars as skin problems like that and more severe are all they deal with.

I would cease this baking soda thing all together. If something burns your face, makes it that red than it goes without saying to never do that again. If that's what happens than definitely stop. Your causing harm to yourself by continuing it.

There's a lot of myths and remedies about acne that don't work and are BS in some cases. While I've never heard the baking soda remedy before I think judging from the state of your face after doing it that it's a bad idea and doesn't do anything but make your face blood raw. See a dermatologist it will greatly help.

You might need to have your family doctor set up appointment with one for you because they are specialists with tons of patients as you can imagine. In fact, some family doctors might even have sample prescription acne creams on hand to try or in some cases might be able to prescribe that to you themselves but can't handle the scars and other skin problems you mentioned if severe enough that requires a specialist as mentioned above.


My girlfriend is so bipolar its ridiculous. I'm not sure if she actually has these mood swings or if she just acts like it to get a reaction out of me. its so random, we'll be talking about something and she will all of a sudden say bye or i don't wanna be with you anymore when an hour earlier she was saying how she wants to be with me forever and wouldn't leave me for the world. She says some mean stuff when she gets that way and i just ignore it and don't say anything back. i'm sick of her doing it and breaking up with me 50 times a day but i don't know how to get her to stop. i feel like if i broke up with her because of it she wouldn't try to get me back she would be ok with it because she always says i deserve better than her and if i left her i'd be better off. I want to be with her so badly but i can't deal with these mood swings all the time they are ridiculous (link)
Have her see her psychiatrist. When it comes to bipolar disorder mood swings are heightened but they shouldn't be up and down like this once her disorder has been stabilized with medication. It hits a plateau.

You'll be down for a period of time consistently and fine for a long stretch consistently and living life normally like you don't have a disease like this 99% of time once medication and treatment are working.

To me, having had experience with this, I think her medication and behavior is way, way, off from what is normal and would lead me to believe she's got medication and other issues with the disease that aren't being handled.

You shouldn't be all over the place and doing and saying irrational things be it about a relationship or not like she has if something isn't right. It needs to be corrected. As long as delusions aren't creeping in as well this could just be as simple as readjusting all her meds so they work better.

Also, NEVER think that a person with bipolar is using the disease or mood swings to get something they want or to cause you misery. They don't. Those mood swings are a part of the disease and will be as irrational to the hilt as they may be but never faked. It's like that when medicine hasn't and isn't working. She needs help. Try and get it for her.




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