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I aim to give you solid advice on your problems. I don't sugarcoat things and I'm always straight up. Don't come asking for what you want to hear as I always give the truth even if you don't want it because it's what you need and the only way to grow.
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Like to get stuff signed and what not. Do they automatically assume they're slutbags (who are trying to sleep with them haha) who don't care about their music? Or are they flattered by it, and see the person in a good light? like high school age girls.. 16, 17.. that sort of thing

I don't want to give a bad impression, and I know they're just regular people, but it's hard to not get excited about possibly meeting one of your favorite bands. But when actually meeting them it's not like I'm screaming and w/e, I try to be chill and just soak up the experience. Are bands annoyed by fans, who wait after, by their tour bus, to meet them? or what? Like relatively mainstream indie bands, specifically. Bands like MGMT.

What do they think of fans who give them gifts, like relating to some "inside joke" they have with fans, or like a small painting inspired by one of their songs. just examples. do they throw them out right away, pretty much? (link)
It depends on the band, the promoter, and their managers on how they handle fans trying to meet them or give gifts. There's a lot who don't want gifts, physical contact (interacting with) or anything like that outside of their own meet and greets where you pay to be there and security checks you out going in.

That's usually because of bad experiences and obsessive or scary fans. Some don't sign or take gifts period from anybody so as never to be accused of wrong doing or having to interact with "nuts" Gifts could be seen as creepy to some people and waiting for them by the tour bus too.

What you should do is find out where the stage door is. Look for security guards with a walkie around that area or tour buses and ask politely if the band would sign anything at that door afterwards or if they could get you a photo or whatever signed and hand it back. Some will, some won't and in some cases the band will sign at that door.

If you see someone on your own from a band walking out of a venue or into one there's absolutely nothing wrong with saying "I know you're busy but if you could sign something for me I would appreciate it." and see what happens. Most would oblige.

Having been around a lot of people in the music business and working temporarily as a co-op student in a venue I can give this advice to you knowing that's how they usually see it. A lot of people pass by screaming fans or those being boorish and if you're a girl it's worse that they would think you're a groupie.

My advice is to act like an adult, be subtle, talk to security and demonstrate that you're quite normal and don't want to intrude on privacy and you'll be fine. Don't hang in the areas where these other fans are and show your mature. More often than not that's what earns you their attention and autograph.

Major venues usually have a no sign or gift policy for the concert that may not be stated up front. If you call fan services for say an arena like the Air Canada Centre they'll tell you what happens with gifts. The bands in most arenas never see the signs and gifts if not tossed out are in the case of stuffed toys donated to kids who need them dependent on bands.



I'm staying with people like family at the moment and I have been having trouble living with the deviant 12 year old. She's been spoiled and is never really punished. She has been diagnosed with defiant disorder, adhd, and etc. She never takes her meds according to what she tells me. I often feel like I'm walknig on eggshells when I'm around her. To me, she exbits behavior similar to one with narcissism and antisocial disorder. She was adopted at 4mnths and her natural mother was into drugs and alcohal according to what I've heard and had given up several babies from different men. It seems to me she tries often to dehumanize people so that she can put herself in higher jurisdiction. She has no regard to how she appears to anyone. She lies, manipulates, and sometimes borrows without asking if she knows she won't get in trouble for it. She often tries to seek weaknesses in others to use for her manipulation. She often displays little or no expressions when I speak to her and she acts unaffected when her mother grounds her. I rarely see genuine actions except when she's upset or lonely. She is very cut throat when her parents or even me tell her she's doing wrong behavior. She uses the distraction technique when her mother approaches her in not minding her. She often tries to win in those situations and to me, it seems she really does most of the times because she's untangible. She doesn't care about getting in trouble... it's "no big deal." She doesn't fear authority and does not feel punishment. She also has no regard for one's privacy and often infringes another's space without care. ShIn conversation, when it comes to getting what she wants, she will say anything whether it works or not doesnt matter to her. She would quickly move into another approach and goes off the emotion of whom she's asking until she has reached them and they give her what she asked. I've known her her whole life. She's always been a trouble maker and she use to throw extreme tantrums every morning. She has also fetal alcohal syndrome, it's apparent in her features. I find it difficult some days when she's her worst. Know of any solutions to help her straighten up? I really can't do much about it because I'm not her mother and her mother is very stubborn. I need to know some techniques for myself so I do not get so frustrated to the point I feel out of control. (link)
Your outright hatred of this girl is extremely troubling and disgusting in my opinion. You aren't helping her or yourself with the way you think of her and describe her here. Such resentment and pure hate will only hurt you--and actually make you sick. It's poison and exactly like drinking a glass of Draino.

You NEED to throw that perspective of her out the window. Approach her with LOVE no matter what she may do that pisses you off. You haven't grasped at least not fully that this behavior is a core part of her medical problem and not something she has control of easily if at all. The issue is that she cannot see how her behavior is wrong in any way, shape or form as the disorder tells her she's right and others wrong.

What you can do is sit her down when she's not acting this way and tell her that she would do much better at school and at home if she reacted differently in certain situations and asked herself to calm down, think, and then react differently and give her examples not attacking of what she could do better and when she was inappropriate. Some not all things need to slide where acceptable.

You can't discipline her as that's up to her parents who believe me have been through a lot with her over the behavior and disorders and know that it's mostly how she is. Some of it can be changed with professional help but who is to say they haven't been doing that with her? You can point out what upsets you but if anything is done it has to be by them. Getting in the middle to much could lead to a big problem for you with their resentment. Try what I suggested as it's helpful to her and you but beyond that it's not your place to fix her situation.


So I'm a 20 year old female who recently got out of a year and a half relationship. All my relationships have always been with a male. I mean I've always had an interest in females started acting on it at 18 and now that I'm single again I've been talking to this girl my "potential" Girlfriend. Would be my first ever girlfriend. Anyways shes known as a "hot commodity" in the lesbian world alot of girls seem to just flock. Now I'm a sensitive girl I don't like getting my feelings hurt so I don't know if I should go for it... We've known eachother over a year met at school but started "talking and fooling around" a few weeks ago. Shes a good sweet talker and she def. has charm. She wants to earn my trust but its hard to when shes constantly on her phone talking to girls blatantly flirting with them over facebook. Then tells me I'm the only one she wants to talk to. Its just so confusing because I don't want this gut feeling of her being a player to be true even though she claims to feel the
same way. YIKES! (link)
Always trust your gut instinct. It`s always right. This girl is not your type of person. She has a history of promiscuity and would likely think of you as just another fling or conquest.

If you are extremely sensitive and want a long-term relationship and someone to care that isn`t her deal. Her actions show that she`s a player who loves the attention and is flirting online and off with a variety of people.

The whole hot commodity that everyone is after thing spells bad news. Don`t fall for the act or the sweet talk. She`s after something purely physical. Unless that`s all you are looking for don`t get involved. Be a friend sure, but look for that person who is going to stick around as that sounds like all you want and she won`t be that. Once she gets bored she`ll be on to the next person.


im havin a hard time in my life and the only way i see out is to kill myself no one listins to me im unhappy the people around me make me happy but thats just not enof i need to talk i heard if u talk about ur feelins they go away but no one listins to me i cut myself because it takes away the pain but only for a little while in 16 and nothing to show for my life so far if you where to ask anyone who know me to name one thing in good at they wouldnt replay because they know and so do i im a failure i know it every one knows it (link)
You're still here so obviously you have no real desire to die or you wouldn't have asked for help. You're 16-years-old and have the whole world and a lifetime ahead of you to achieve things you never knew you could.

Your problem is your mental health and being severely depressed or worse. That's what causes you to cut yourself and the suicidal thoughts. That and nothing else.

If you did the right thing and visited an emergency room and told them that you have these thoughts they will have the on-call psychiatrist assess you, diagnose the problem and give proper treatment.

Eventually, those thoughts would disappear and you could enjoy life. You can't see that now but if you went and got help tonight it would restore your life as well as make it better in many ways.

Don't worry about the hospital either. Sure, nobody wants to be there but it will save your life. You will get the proper diagnosis, treatment, medication, counseling and support network set-up. You would be assessed over 72 hours and only be held longer if they know you would harm yourself. Essentially, you get to rest in a safe environment while professionals sort your life out.

I'm sure there are a lot of people who care deeply for you. They probably do listen but the mental disturbance works to tell you otherwise and those thoughts convince you. The same deal with being a failure. I know having been worse as you were that if you get help you`ll enjoy life and excel in the long run. Tell someone what`s happening or go to an emergency room on you own because it`s a crisis situation if you really have thoughts of killing yourself that you might act upon.


I asked a similar question like this a while ago, so it may be a little repetitive. But I had to had a lot of extra information to this one, and I'm dealing with a completly different problem now, so here we go. There are two main questions here both tying in to the same story (I apologize for the length, but this is very important)
My friend is extremely bipolar. To the point where she's crying in a corner during a party ten minutes after dancing, and when I ask what the reason is she says she just feels sad. It's heartbreaking- she can be such a optomistic, adorable, happy girl one minute, and a crying, cutting, suicidal one the next. Yes, she does cut, she has been for almost a year. And she's recently become suicidal.
The suicidal thing scares me the most. She got really close at one point, and I did what all the online websites tell you to do and I told guidance, but it only made things worse. She became much more depressed, and lied through her teeth to get out of the hospital. A month later, she's back and worse than ever. She can't stand doctors of any kind, and she hates therapists because of how they are forced to tell the parents if a patient is suicidal or showing sucidal thoughts. I know that if I go to guidance or her parents or the hospital, it will only make things worse and push her closer and closer to the edge. But I need to find things out fast- she told me a long time ago a certain time she planned to do it, and she says she sometimes things she will still do it during that time, and it scares me.
SO HERE ARE THE QUESTIONS
1. What are some good ways (other than therapists and medication) that she can get over the bipolar disorder? Anything I can do to help?
2. What should I do about her suicidal plans? (link)
Guidance councilors and therapists do not have the qualifications to help diagnose or give aid, treatment to those with mental illness. It's no wonder they didn't do much with the info you gave.

Your friend's problem seems greater than bipolar disorder and doesn't fit the symptoms and standard definition of that particular mental health problem. I can say this having the disease myself.

It's true that a person can become elated, normal, depressed but it's always a rapid cycle. They can also have very scary thoughts too. However, the big difference between bipolar disorder and other mental health issues is that she would have constant grandiose ideas, visions and delusions. More people would know something was way off than you would by now.

She needs help but you have to be careful not to diagnose her or turn to internet sites to deal with her. She needs a psychiatrist to do that and give her support. I know your friend doesn't want to be in a hospital setting or for people to know she needs help. I understand that but it's what she needs.

There are NO way possible to treat a mental health problem and a suicidal person than to have them deal with a medical professional trained to deal with these issues. Bipolar disorder, depression etc. aren't something you can just get over. If they were it wouldn't be an epidemic and psychiatrists wouldn't exist to specialize in remedying it.

You have to tell your parents exactly what she's been saying about suicide, her breakdowns at school, the lying when confronted, and the fact she's tried to pull the wool over the eyes of her doctors. Let them deal with it and leave it at that having done the right thing.

Don't worry about her and the edge because if you don't tell and she did something you would know you didn't act but if she did despite help offered by you or anyone it's solely her actions.

There's ZERO to fear with hospitals and perhaps she needs to hear that. All they do is assess your illness, provide treatment, and ONLY if they think you will hurt yourself or are in harms way hold you longer than 72 hours.

If they hold you longer they give you a private room on the ward and you stay there safe until the medication takes hold and they are confident you are 100% stable. They then put you on day passes until you prove through actions that you're ready to rejoin society full-throttle. It's just a period of rest without outside problems until a person gets better. Nothing to fear.

You MUST tell your parents and any adult who can intervene and get her help or she will get worse and this could become an even bigger crisis. It's not what she wants but must be what happens here. You'd be an awful friend if you didn't. Nobody said it would be easy but it's your responsibility to make sure others know what she told you at the very least.

Some secrets shouldn't be kept especially life and death ones. Do the right thing. She may be pissed but better that and thankful to you later on. She needs professional help. Make sure your parents and other adults know exactly verbatim what her suicide plan was so they know how serious this is. Also point out therapists and guidance counselors were told by you and others and that they to your knowledge didn't do shit for her.

What needs to be encouraged is for her parents to get her a psychiatric evaluation at the emergency room from the on-call mental health professional at a hospital and get immediate action before this does get worse as it may well if nothing's done. Believe me it's the only option.

Be sure her parents know that this girl confided to you that she deliberately lied to a psychiatrist last time she was in this situation and under a 72 hour hold to get out and is not above doing it again as she's said as much. Doctors treating her need to know this going in. Any good shrink should see that though on their own but the last didn't. Vital piece of info.


i have issues have you ever been in like a great mood then out of no where you can hate the world and just wanna end your life cause all ur hopes a dreams arnt going to get you anywhere....well i feel that way right now i dont know why i dont know what to do talking doesnt help im 14 wat should i do thxx (link)
How long has this been going on in the same up and down pattern? I'm asking you this because constant mood swings from elation, normal happiness, and utter depression aren't normal.

It's a warning sign for bipolar disorder. The fact you think of ending your life is a big red flag as is any dark thoughts and thinking. If you should hear voices or have delusional thoughts you're in crisis.

What you should do is talk to any adult that you trust and tell them your moods are all over the place and be honest about suicidal thoughts. Ask them to get you professional help. There's no embarrassment in it and doesn't mean you're nuts.

What it means is that it's an illness and needs to be medically treated so your moods are regular and dark, suicidal thoughts are silenced. If really uncomfortable you should go to an ER and have them assess the severity of this and what to do. It's better to be wrong than to face a crisis later by just waiting for those thoughts to fade.

You should also write down the kind of thoughts you have been having and how long to give your family and psychiatrist something to work with. This needs to be assessed by them. It's not normal to have these kind of moods and sudden, dark thinking. I know because I had the same issue many years ago. Get it checked out to avoid a potential crisis.

You need to see that you're only 14-years-old. The world is wide open to you. No matter what you think or your situation right now nothing's permanent. There's no way you can tell what you'll achieve tomorrow or years in the future. What you do have is all your talents, abilities and an opportunity to make dreams come true. It will happen but requires work and faith. Stick in there.


sooo, the other day my Algebra 2 teacher gave us all a test, we all bombed it... soo we had a make up test, but we all had to do a review in order to do the make up test.... I had things going on as in taking care of a fake baby for my family living class so i didn't do it, plus i don't understand math, i learn at a slower pace... but i walked in to retake the test and she wouldn't let me.... just because i wasn't able to do the review... I try a lot in that class but i still have trouble every time i need help i dont go up and ask because she always makes me feel stupid... what should i do? (link)
ADDITIONAL: If adults have outright failed to provide you with support speak up about that until you're blue in the face to anyone in that school who listens.

How many credits in math do you need? If this course was just an elective and not part of a diploma requirement drop it outright and forget it. There should be no penalty to you for doing so. If you aren't getting help at school have your parents go to the school board trustee who has been elected to oversee the district. They'll get changes made.



If you were supposed to attend the review before taking a re-test it was your sole responsibility to make arrangements with your parenting course teacher or someone to take care of the fake infant.

Either that or take it to the review and work on your assignment before and after. If you know you don't understand math than why haven't you done something about it before? You should have found a tutor, told your instructor you don't understand anything and get help.

If you have a legit learning problem that can be tested for or is already documented then you could get special help for this. If that's not the case than it's really on your shoulders to fix or have fixed this.

Some teachers are nicer than others and can be SOB's but it's not personal. You could say to the teacher "I appreciate your help but feel a lot of pressure and stupid when I don't get it as fast as you want me too. That's why I have a hard time seeking support." Maybe they will rectify that or change their approach.

I'm not sure what you can do at this stage. You need to tell your parents what is happening. Perhaps they can meet your teacher and talk about your problems with math and get something set up so you can succeed. You could also get a tutor to help and at least eek out a 50-60% and pass.

You can't challenge her on the re-test especially if she told people they had to do the review and show up before doing the test. Maybe she was saving you from really screwing up your grade by letting you do it. You'll never get anywhere in the course or with her without telling them what's happening with you.

I don't want you doing this but up until a certain point in a term you can withdraw from class without academic penalty. That would be a bad way out because you will learn nothing about math or how to handle difficult teachers or subjects. It's running away rather than confronting the problem.

Also, if they test you and find out a learning problem rather than lack of effort is what your math issue is caused by it changes everything. You need to talk to the teacher, your guidance counselor and family about what's going on with math.


Okay I'm 15 and to be honest I've about had enough of this. My mother is another story.Yes i love her but sometimes wow! I just wanna go to sleep for hours sometimes and not wake up. She has parental controls on almost everything! my phone now included because my friend accidentally was messing around and mentioned drugs in one of our txting conversations. My mom freaked when she read it and took my phone away. And my friend is no drug addict she is such a wimp i doubt she would but i havent told my mom yet. Also my ipod got taken away because i let some dude friends of mine use it and well they did some bad stuff on the internet and ya.. so they didnt close then window or erase thier history and my mom saw it and again freaked out!she thought it was me! and thinks im lying!! and kept it who then gave it to my father!!! and once i was watching the E! on tv watching the kardashians and of course she freaked and put locks on the tv. So my mother will not compromise im not sure what to say? Also now shes having trust issues with me about all that! so i need help with that to and to help her understand my side! because she will listen to what i have to say but she doesnt keep it in mind at all! also what do i do if she hates my friend i was talking about what do i do with that to?! Help! (link)
Protect your stuff. Don't allow friends to use anything electronic of yours. That's the mistake you have made several times that lands you here. As long as your parents pay for your phone and the Internet they have the right to put filters in. They do it out of caring and trying to ensure you are safe.

How could they not think you aren't telling them the truth? You're the owner of the phone and 100% responsible for who uses it and what that person does or doesn't do. The same situation with the Internet. If someone does something wrong it's still your account, your phone so who can they believe? Same thing with the TV.

What do you do? Admit you made a mistake in letting friends use the phone and the Internet and didn't supervise them and that they went to those sites or sent those messages. Tell them who the friends were and have them consult their parents. Aside from that all you can do is protect your phone, don't let others use the Internet and show consistently that you aren't doing wrong and eventually these constraints will be lifted.

If she dislikes your friend she's entitled to and has reasons. I'm sure if she talks to that friend, their parents and yourself that it will be ironed out and the real culprit dealt with over the Internet and phone issues. But yes, be more responsible and don't let the phone out of your sight or people use Internet accounts attributed to you.



I know this will be silly but I'm curious. I had a dream that my g- grandma gave me this ring that was like superpowerful. There was like chaos and mutant animals of darkness on the streets and stuff (lol)! So I used the ring but in doing so I also sacrificed myself just like my great grandmother did. I knew I was going to die if I stopped the chaos but I did anyway. There might have been more details but i don't remember them. Yeah and in a lot of my dreams I often die. So what do you think this dream could symbolize in your opinion. Thanks. (link)
Dreams are thought pictures. When you go to sleep your brain keeps processing thoughts as well as fears that are usually buried deep within as vivid and very real.

All it means is that you have a deep fear of something and have been dreaming of it much like you think of it when awake. It can't harm you nor come true in anyway whatsoever. It's not a rational thing. All it means is that you need to get rid of that fear or it will bother you awake or not.

Also, it would seem as though your grandmother's passing and circumstances around it have disturbed you so that may be why you have dreams of her surrounding death and or chaos. You need to address both these things so you are no longer disturbed by it.


I'm a twin, I'm 15 year old and a girl. My sister and I look a lot alike and our high school is really big so a lot f people can't tell us apart which actually bothers me sometimes when I know it's not their fault. I just wish people knew about how we are different people! How should I handle this situation better?? (link)
If most people can't tell you apart it's not their fault. They just aren't trained yet in knowing unless you tell them I'm not so and so. You're close friends must be able to tell but others can't.

If that's the core problem that you look too alike I would change your style of clothes, dye your hair perhaps or cut it differently and let people figure it out on their own.

Aside from that you have to be who you are as an individual and let people see your personality is different than your sister's and that you have different interests. They have to see that for themselves. Perhaps involvement in different clubs, activities and interests at school will show people that the only thing 100% the same is the last name and birthday.

If someone doesn't recognize you by the correct name just laugh it off, correct them and don't let it bother you because every twin must deal with it. You could explain also how to tell the two of you apart. I had martial arts classes with twins and it royally screwed us up because we weren't trained to know the differences. Maybe you could ask your teachers to let you address your home room and tell them how to tell you apart and that it really bugs you.

Apart from that never forget to embrace who you are together and that bond that others don't get to experience between you. It's great to be different and individuals but be sure that you celebrate what makes you the same on your own too.


my 4 year old is for lack of a better term a terrible child. he randomly screams loudly for no reason, he tries to steal things when we go ANYWHERE, he abuses our animals, his baby (7 month old) brother and me. my husband and i argue everyday over my son and his bad behavior is getting to be a problem in our marriage. he lies for no reason about things he doesnt have to lie about. he calls me names, curses at me and hits me in the face. he refuses to listen and almost always does the opposite of what is told or asked of him. we have tried everything. he gets verbal warnings, time outs, toys or favorite things taken away, soap in his mouth, even spankings. its embarrassing to take him places and im afraid that if his terrible behavior continues in public and at school CPS will become involved and i love him despite his actions.
P.S. my husband and i dont curse at one other and there is absolutely no abuse in our home where can those things be coming from? (link)

If you think of this child as terrible than you're doing him more harm than good. He will pick up on that attitude from you and start acting and accepting it himself. Always approach from love even when he's at his worse.

The trouble may be something psychiatric when it comes to all the lying, abusing animals, hitting his parents and cursing. You're not at fault because you've done damned near everything you know to rectify it.

Spanking him accomplishes nothing and sends the wrong message that you can hit him but he can't hit himself. The soap in the mouth combined with spanking can to others make you look like you've abused him when you haven't.

You do have every right to be concerned about his interaction with other children and kindergarten or preschool. I doubt anyone there has abused him but you do need to think if anyone else has or taught him this behavior. Is he acting out abuse in life done outside the house. If the answer is no than you have to do the following: Take him to a doctor perhaps a psychologist or psychiatrist if needed for professional help if a pediatrician can't iron this out.

Will CPS be involved? Hardly, most doctors, nurses can tell in an instant if you have abused a child or if someone else has. I don't see based on your letter neglect or abuse but I do see frustrated parents with a child out of control that likely needs professional help. That's where you're at with this issue I would have to believe.


21/female. Tony- 18.

Me and Tony have been dating for about 3 months now. We're going to our first concert together this weekend, it's a country one.

I'm a little nervous. We're going with my two cousins (Tony's friends with them also) The reason why I'm nervous is because Tony said he's going to be singing along and dancing, and I'm not like that! I don't wanna be the boring one just standing there doing nothing -but it's just not really me to be crazy. Me and Tony can act dumb together, it's just how we are but when it comes to dancing ...forget it! It's my biggest weakness and something I get really embarrassed about because I'm horrible.

I don't really know how to act/what to do. I don't wanna make a fool out of myself. I shouldn't be worried about this, but I am! (link)
This is no sweat. Tell him you dance like an idiot and would rather sit and take in the performance and that it's not a reflection on him or the relationship.

It's fine to sit or stand and not dance. I sit or stand and that's it. I'm sure he will get that it makes you uncomfortable but that you still enjoy being there with him. Don't make a big deal of it because it really isn't one.

The other option is to have a who gives a darn attitude about other people in the venue and what they may think or a who cares what the people I'm with think and just dance. Don't make it into something it's not in your mind. So you look like an idiot? So, what? Have fun with it 16,000 other people are there looking like dancing idiots so you're in good company. Relax.


I'm M/16. Basically my face is clear. Except for these two red dots that look just like pimples. I don't think they're pimples. They don't seem to grow or shrink at all. They've been there for about a year. All the other ones clear up except those. I don't get it. (link)
See a doctor and get it checked for peace of mind. It would be wrong to hazard a guess because we aren't doctors and can't diagnose you or anyone else. Secondly, not being able to see what it is you describe would render any suggestion useless. If it's something that only appeared recently as in a year/months and hasn't faded that needs to be checked out.


I turned 17 a month ago and it just hit me that I could get into rated R movies now.
If I go to a movie theatre, how do I prove I'm 17?

I don't have my permit yet, is getting it the only way? (link)
Act normally and buy a ticket. Go when they are busiest during a weekend. Most of the time the box-office attendant won't care.

They hardly ever check and won't have time to stop you for ID. The only time they do is when management is around or there's no way in heck you look 17. I can say this because I used to work for a major theater chain and we only carded when management was over our shoulders or insisting for a certain movie. If we wanted to keep our jobs we did it.

The ratings system is also a joke and most theaters know it. For an R you usually need at least 4 Fbombs and a sex reference or scene to land one. In Canada most of what you guys rate an R a 14-year-old is allowed in with a 14A rating.

You shouldn't have an issue buying a ticket. The one ID that's universally accepted anywhere no matter the circumstance is a passport. I know, who takes that to a movie? However, if you really think you'll have to prove identity and age take that but them asking you for ID won't happen. It only happens if you really look suspiciously below 17.



Okay first off I'm not a mean person and I'm sorry already on how this is going to come out. First off theres this... well whore. She's next to me by locker which I don't mind cuz she basically doesn't even see I'm alive next to her. But I really don't mind that. But, she also now sits next to me in life studies since we changed our seats. When the teacher called on me for a question she go's we don't have an *my name* in this class. The the teacher said I was right next to her and she was like ohhhh I didn't know her name. And mind you we've been in school together for years now. She is too busy with her dramatic life of going through boys like tissues but hey not my problem or reputation. To my point, myself and a few others had to work in a group with her. I did everything while she did her math homework and did other peoples homework for money. I ask her to help (yeah probably not in a perfect polite manner) but they she did her whole attitude thing. I backed off because she wouldn't hesitate to hit me and I don't go that way even though I could win if I had true motivation. She's not pissed off anymore, ya know to busy with herself. (Lucky for me I suppose.) I can't talk to the teacher to ask to move because her daughter is in the same class as me and they are best friends and I don't want to ride that train. So she won't move me. Nothing seems to be in my favor lately. I can usually supress my annoyance but she just sends me over. I usually take my anger out at my sport (don't worry its individual so I don't hurt anyone. But it also takes a lot to get me mad. But she's talking about how this other girl hasn't made out with her boyfriend yet and she already has. Blah blah. I don't feed on drama, I could live without it. She just gets under my skin. (link)
You have to stop hating or resenting her and thinking of her as a whore for instance? Why? This type of thinking and stewing about another person is toxic only to YOU.

I refer to it as the Draino effect. It's like drinking a tub of that every single time you think negatively about her. You don't have to like everyone you meet but you do need to learn to tolerate her.

It's actually a good test for you having to sit next to her. If you can learn to tolerate her and understand that this is how she is and not be bothered over it that's great. You're going to find yourself working later on with people just like her and will have to adapt.

What I want you to do is to think about her as you want others to think of you and chuck any negative thoughts. Be kind to her, she needs that and pretty soon if you're just cordial you won't find a problem with her or think about it. You might find a friend in someone you thought was an enemy. Try a new strategy in handling her.

Accept that this is how she is with EVERYONE and that her social skills or lack thereof probably angers a lot of people. That's for her to learn to fix but not for you to worry about. Let it slide off your back like water on a duck. Don't let yourself waste time dwelling on her habits.

If she tries to talk to you and launches into gossip tell her that you don't talk about others if they aren't present nor concern yourself with their private business. Maybe she'll get it.

You could very nicely tell her that there are some things she does that makes people not want to befriend or have anything to do with her. She can't see that yet. Maybe she would work on herself then. It might do her a huge favor and adjust her attitude.

You also have to wonder were her attitude and annoying behavior starts at. People who act like she does usually have no self-esteem or a bad situation at home or are exposed to the same toxic type of people she's allowed herself to become. Maybe she knows no other way to act because her parents are too interested in other people's business and talking about it too. Dunno but strong chance. She gets it from somewhere.

What you need to do is realize she seeks attention and acts this way for attention that she craves or is socially inept. At either rate tune it all out no matter what and only worry about you and chuck the toxic thinking about her as it's hurting you more than her.

Also, say what you need to say to people and don't be scared of them. I doubt she would hit you and if she did it would result in suspension. It's not worth it to her.


Hi! I'm a 13, almost 14 yearold girl who hasn't had her first kiss yet. There's a guy I like who likes me but I don't want a boyfriend and whenever we try and hangout we can't. I want him to be my first kiss but I don't know if it would be awkward cause I'm nervous and not exactly sure what I would be doing. I know that im supposed to like turn my head a little, pucker my lips, then what? I'm not prude I'm just a little scared to have my first kiss. He's had his but it was with a girl he barely knew and he wants to pretend it didn't happen. I know this cause were friends too haha. But uhm any advice or tips help! Thank you so much!(: (link)
There's a first time for everything. His obviously didn't go well and he's probably been fearing the next time he does it since. Just remember everyone starts in the same place and that it's totally 100% acceptable to tell your partner this. Most people would help coach you and some enjoy that. Just be honest with him or anyone else about it.

The fact is you are good friends which is a plus. No matter what happens he's going to be cool with you afterward. I would take the reins here as you know you want that kiss from him badly and he's more unsure about kissing than you. Ask him to kiss you or be honest and tell him you've wanted him to and go from that.

Tell him you don't want a boyfriend but wanted to experience this with someone like him who doesn't judge. If you did wind up with him as a boyfriend it may be the best person to be with given your history.


I just started to date this girl. I am in decent shape and pretty athletic. She is 5'6 about 140 runs track and works out quite often. We wrestled a few times the other day and I was shocked that I couldn't do much against her. She made me give up by wrapping her legs around me several times and squeezing. Later on we were texting and she was teasing me. She said that she was not even using half her leg strength when she was squeezing me and could make me pass out if she wanted to, and that she might next time. Do you think she could? Also, do you think if I try harder I will be able to beat her......I was not going all out? I know she is in good shape but she is just a girl and kinda cocky.

Thanks for your help. (link)
It doesn't matter whether she is male or female. She's trained in wrestling and you can't beat her because you aren't. Also, with grappling, wrestling, jui-jitsu etc. you don't have to be male or the same size as someone else to be able to overpower and stop someone.

That's all there is to it. I had an instructor tell me that a kid could take out any size adult with proper technique because most people aren't suspecting it and or have nothing to respond back with. Size means nothing. Could she make you pass out? Absolutely! If she got the right choke hold on you it wouldn't matter her size or sex. You wouldn't be able to handle her as you've seen already.

I've seen kids at a club I did some martial arts training at that were downright deadly with kickboxing and grappling techniques. Don't let size fool you. It's all in what they know that an assailant hasn't seen before.


How do I stop worrying about my boyfriends cheating on me? No matter the age, the boy, the situation, no matter what I always seem to get jealous of any of my boyfriends. This is my 3rd long term relationship and I have improved greatly from my 1st but I still have that last little bit of jealousy inside of me when he goes out sometimes. I can't stand it because it prevents me from living my life. I waste my time worrying about him when there is really nothing I can do about it. I try to tell myself that I shouldn't worry and he tells me he loves me all the time. He has never done anything to make me doubt his love yet I can't fully trust him. I want to more than anything and it would hurt him to know I don't. How do I let go of that last bit of jealousy? I know there's no magic cure but is there anything that helped you get over your jealousy? Something that calmed you down and got your mind off of it, even eventually forgotten about the situation?

Thanks so much!
(link)
If he has given you no reason not to trust him and loves you than accept that. The problem is that you can't seem to do that. It's something psychological where you have this irrational fear that won't go away.

It's not normal to have this and if it's ruining a relationship or your time and life like it is than you have to fix that. Unfortunately, you can tackle it alone.

There's nothing wrong with you or abnormal accept for this fear. Many people be them celebrities, presidents etc. etc. need and have used psychologists and or therapists for this kind of thing to figure where the mental block or fear comes from and how to get rid of it through counseling and or medication. It's an anxiety issue that needs to be met medically and with counseling and tips from them.

I would look in to that and in the meantime try to remind yourself over and over that everything with him is fine. I hope you'll look into this as it has plagued your relationships for a long time and perhaps all of them too. It would appear possibly medical and tied into a deeper anxiety issue based on what you wrote.


Is it ok for an 11 year old girl to masturbate??? (link)
It's normal for all age ranges if you do or don't. Doesn't matter about a person's sex. Statistically 70% of all females and 90% of all males will at some point in life. I wouldn't worry as a lot of classmates and people your age are. They just don't admit to it. That's more so with females than males.

Also, it need not be connected to anything sexual as people do it for comfort as well or because it feels good. Either way you're normal. It's an issue only if it's all you do, think about and you have zero life outside of it and or are doing it because of abuse.

So, I would relax in the fact that your normal and it's common among people your age especially through puberty and later on. Most of your classmates probably do so it's not a big deal if someone does or doesn't nor age.

If really concerned about this talk to your pediatrician or family doctor privately. They will back up what I said and tell you that it's normal in all age groups especially if you're really worried about it at all. They can also back up the fact that toddlers often discover their private parts much like fingers and toes at early age. Nothing wrong according to most medical people I've read and what was told to us in school when I younger about what you asked.


I'm 13/girl and there is this kid i like in my class. he is the niceist guy you'll ever meet...and he being use by this other girl. i know he likes her a lot but she is just jusing him to be popular. i try to tell him but just says "your only saying that cause you like me". i want him to know the truth but i don't know how to tell him! (link)
It's not your place to. If you do it can backfire with both of them becoming enemies. There's an unspoken rule about couples and friend's dating anyone that you don't get involved.

You have to let him see for himself as no matter what you might say or others might he won't stop being with her unless he sees it in her himself. Also, I see this blowing up on you quite easily if he's now thinking you have jealousy issues with her.

Back off as you did in fact tell him what you knew. It's up to him to do what he wants with that info. If you are meant to be with him it will happen eventually. I know you don't want to see him hurt but regardless of what or who gets him to see what she's done he's going to be hurt regardless. You stand off better by saying nothing further.




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