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January 2, 2007

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**** I've been gone quite a long time. However I'm still breathing though it's touch and go. Don't expect me to answer or check in much. ****

Welcome to the junkdrawer that is my brain! I know something about many things, and I if I don't know it, I admit that I don't know. That I am constantly finding things I know nothing about and correcting that ignorance keeps me busy and happy. More junk for the drawer.

I love and have experience with many types of animals, including the human. I don't offend easy and I am generally cynical and a smart-butt. I love to drive, read, work on the computer and I spend WAY too much time watching Anime and bidding on ebay.

advice

my dog is 6 months old and recently she started having seizures... shes reallyplayful and all that... but the past week ive been scared to death for her... weve already been to the vet and they said to take her off this certain medicine for fleas/mites... idk...and it scares me so bad... what do u think is wrong? and what do you think could helP?

Yes, you need to tell your vet all the chemicals she's been exposed to. If you are lucky she may get better, but prolonged exposure to some chemicals can cause permenant nerve damage. Only your vet can really help you with this. I wish I could tell you something better. If it's just the meds, the problem should correct itself with little trouble. Good luck!

i guess i would consider myself a minority, i'm half chinese half white (swedish/german) and i guess im sort of having an identity crisis. i am a senior in high school and i have a group of really close friends that are all white. my group of friends in high school that are my age are all asian. its been really wierd for me but for the first time ive had to deal with people being racist against me for hanging out with asians, associating with asians, and just plain being asian. i can't help feeling ashamed about it and at the same time mad that i do feel ashamed because its part of who i am, and no one should be ashamed about it. i keep getting advice from my mom and from my best friend to not care what other people think but its really hard because "other people's thoughts of you" is so much about what high school is. i guess thats why im looking forward to college because its more a time for yourself. anyways i can't help feeling embarassed and im ashamed of myself for thinking like this. i don't understand why i feel the way i do but does anyone have some good insight or information-im having a real identity crisis.

The desire to fit in is a natural one. Being different is difficult, but this is crap you already know. I met a young woman while I was in college whose mother was Chinese and her father was black. Her father left them when she was young, so her mother raised her alone. The thing is my friend looks black except for her folded eyes and certain other facial features. She had the same problem as you, her black friends claimed she was disrespecting her African heritage by embracing her Chinese background. Her comment was "How can I face this tiny Asian woman who gave me life when I go home and say I am embarrassed by her?" She said lots of other things too, but that comment has stayed with me for 11 years. I understood her to mean that to feel bad about being Asian was to disrespect her mother and the sacrifices she'd made for her through the years. That is the truth of heritage. Love and respect for those that have gone before you. Embracing the lessons given to you by the people who love and support you through life. You have the wonderful though difficult honor of being from two worlds. One is no less important than the other. It is up to you to choose how to exist between these worlds, with pride and love for those who gave you life, or with shame that you are not one or the other. May you find your way and live in joy!

My grandfather commited suicide in April of this year. And it seems I can't cope with it. I was suicidal for a while and i have been battleing depression. I just feel like I can't be emotional about it because I have to be strong for my family, especially my mother. and none of my friends understand. I guess where I'm needing advice is I was wondering how i can bring the topic up with my best friend where she will listen to me and let me vent instead of turning it around about herself. and is that even the best way to cope with the problem i am having with not being open with it? or should I just continue what I am doing and try my hardest to stay strong?

What you need is not your friend. From what you are saying she can't handle your grandfather's death any better than you. This is why she redirects the conversation. Don't fault her for it, this is a defense for herself, not a denial of your friendship. In fact it means she really care about you and can't deal with the amount of pain you need to pour out. Look on the internet for grief couceling in your area. MAny are free group meetings where you will meet others who have been through your same sorrow and can give you the support you need and help you find a means to cope. You can't do this on your own, but your friend is too close to your pain to help you. You need to speak with someone who can listen to you objectively and give you the hard truths you need to grasp to face the days ahead. May you find the healing you need.

Sometimes, out of no where, i'll get dizzy, my head will feel weird, and i see these weird grey swirls. i cant see anything else. it goes away pretty quick, but its incredibly weird. does anyone know what this could be? thanks.

Go to a neurologist. It sound like a migraine aura, but it could also be problems with your vision or even a brain tumor. A neurologist will be able to give you a proper diagnosis. Health!

what is a papsmhere if i even spelled it right!!!!!!!!!!!

A papsmear is a test that a gynocologist gives a woman to check for cervical and uterine cancer and abnormal cells that can cause problems with your cycle and fertility. A tiny sharp ended brush is scraped against the cervics to collect cells. The tissue collected is then put on a slide to be tested in a lab. It doesn't hurt unless you are already irritated in that area. Even then it only stings a little and goes away immediately. It takes less than a minute to get the sample. Hope this was what you were asking about.

just got out of a bad relationship, verbally and sorta physically abused. known him all my life, devestated that hes ruining his life with drugs, going threw bad depression, being forced to see doctors... all the advice is the same from everyone, theres not much else i can do, was hoping to hear some different views... ?
-one sad girl

I feel for you, but there really is nothing you can do for him. It sounds as though he is getting all the help he can. Here's the part that will hurt you the most. He will not be helped until he has reached his personal rock bottom. No matter how many doctors he sees or how great the rehab program, until he wants help, nothing can help him. You can't push the realization on him. He has to find it in himself. I'm sorry I can't give you something that will make you feel better.

Hi. I'm a fellow Advicenator. I have my own column, if you ask, I could leave you feedback with my username. Although I've always been good at advice...I feel lost right now. Maybe I do know the answer, but I just need to hear it from someone else.

For the past few years...Something hasn't been right with me. I'm tired of not fitting in, I'm tired of always needing to get good grades, I'm tired of people not telling me anything, tired of being ignored, hurt... I'm one of those 4.0+ GPA students. Friends would describe me as hyper. Heck, that's even part of my username. But all this time it's been a cover up of how I really feel. Crying by myself sometimes make me feel better, but time doesn't heal, like they say. Things get worse for me.

This year seemed to work out so well. Until last Friday I realized that this year has all been a lie. A friend told me about something my other friends have been hiding from me. I found out that the people I LOVED, my FRIENDS, were talking trash about my boyfriend and me.

They don't realize that WE HAVE ALL CHANGED. I know I have changed, and I accept that. I accept that they have changed as well. We all want our "old" friends back, but what can we do? I miss them, but I cannot change what has happened between us. My boyfriend has brightened up my life. I thought they would be happy for me. What's funny is THEY were the people that pressured me into saying YES to my boyfriend sooner than I expected. (I don't regret it at all.) I could have gone for months, not giving him an answer. "OMG, say yes already" "Oh, he's a nice guy" I remember lots of quotes, CLEARLY. And now, here they are, talking trash?

My REAL friends are supposed to be there for me. They're supposed to talk to me, even if it's something I don't want to hear. They need to at least try to see things my point of view, and NOT talk trash behind my back. They need to either talk to me about it or keep it to themselves and NOT spread around how I'm such a changed and horrible person.

The only person that is giving me the will to live is my boyfriend. I feel bad he has to see me like this. He tells me he knows how I feel, but he doesn't care because he has me. I'd like to say the same, but honestly, it hurts too much. I love him, but the pain won't go away.

I don't know what to do.

At first I wanted to like yell at my "friends" and go rawr! But then as these few days passed I just wanted to forget. But then I can't forget the pain... I see them every day. I think to myself, maybe if I forget, we can all pretend it never happened because I don't want to ruin things even more. But then I tell myself how could I pretend when something like this has happened? My brain goes back and forth...all the time.

I want to thank you for taking the time to read this. I apologize for the length...I really needed to get that out... Please...I need some wise words.

There are very few true friends in this world. I learned that at a young age and have never forgotten it. Most people you meet and even get close to are no more than aquaintinces. I have one true friend, she has never let me down. Part of the reason is that I know she's human. I recognize her weaknesses and don't try to push her into something that will hurt her. She does the same for me. She accepts and cares about me, as I do for her. Know that you are not alone. Know that no relationship is perfect. Know that sometimes trash is talked out of worry and not malice. Know that often the best intended reasons hurt the one's you love the most. Know that you are important even as you feel left behind or so far ahead you no longer relate to those around you. Know that the growth of a spirit is painful and that this pain teaches compassion. I realize this sounds like a bunch of Zen bullshit, but think about what I've said long and hard. Try to relate what has happened to you with the hard learned truths I've listed here. I wish you peace and love. Grow strong through your pain.

Help im realy bored i do nothing all day except watch T.v and i have allready browsed the intire internet help!can you think of something to do I am realy realy bored!You may think that in exagerating but im not its realy an emergency.
HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11

I read.

15/f
I've been told i have possible moderate to severe depression. I'm not allowed to see a counsler or go on meds. My family does not believe in it. lately. i've been feeling horrible. like i wish i had the gun, wish i didnt have to wake up. i've talked to the school counsler a little. my friend took my down there. but i have trouble talking about this to an adult a lot. i never really believed i could have actual depression. just always thought i was a pansy. how can i stop getting so upset? Also, i havent been able to sleep a lot and the exhaustion is adding to my sorrow. i dont know what to do. now its affecting those i love most. even my bf is starting to notice things i wish he wouldnt. how can i talk to my parents about this? or the school counsler?
ps. i use to cut and attempt sucide but i got over that. but now im finding i want to start agian. n its hard not to fall back into the same old hole that it took me so long to get out of.

You are suffering from classic signs of chemical imbalance depression. I have it. It would be best if you could get your school coucilor to set up a meeting with your parents to discuss the problem. Barring that, a regular medical doctor can prescribe medicine that will help you. A gynocologist can be your best friend in this area. If you can't get the medical help you need, here are some things you can do to help yourself. Don't drink diet drinks: nuetrasweet blocks the nuero-transmitters in your brain that help regulate your mood. Eat lots of turkey, and pasta. These foods provide the neuitrients you need to help you control your moods. Get some sunshine. Exercise. You may want to try an herbal suppliment called St. John's Wort. I hope this information helps you. Big hug and much support!

for english i have to gather information on adolf eichmann (involving the holocaust) and make a 5 minute presentation in front of the class with it. Its not the nervousness im worried about, its the fact that i cant bring cards or a speech up to read from..i have to know the information enough to talk to the class about it ..for five minutes! thats a long time. we can use the aid of a visual, but my teacher doesnt want us to just stick pictures on posterboard..she wants us to be more creative. Any ideas on what i can do?

I read a biography on Eichmann, nasty piece of work with no other reason behind it than a greed for power. For your visual, I would suggest that you set up a table with various items that represent the points of your presentation. They will not only serve as a visual interest to your audience, but also as reminders of your speech. There are several books that cover the salient points of Eichmann's career. The covers will make a nice statement. And try to relax. I have a degree in English and broadcasting, trust me, five minutes will not seem that long when you are timing your speech. Break a leg!

My dad died a month ago and ever since then my mom's been really happy. They used to fight all the time and they were going to get divorced because of it. But ever since he died she's been soo happy and she's been going out with all of these different guys most of which hit me or her. If I ever even mention my dad or I cry about it she starts screaming at me and telling me that I'm a pathetic baby. I loved my dad he was soo good to my mom he tried so hard to make it work between the two of them for me and my older sister (she moved out before he died). I hate my mom she's put us through so much and I just can't stand her. So recently I've been staying with some of my friends a lot and I tried LSD. It was really great and it helped me a lot just to get away from everything that's been going on. I've heard all the horror stories about drugs but I just can't believe that they would be true. Well my question is is there anyway for me to get away from my mom so I don't have to deal with her always being a bitch to me and hitting me? And are drugs really as bad as people make them out to be or are the stories just bullshit like they are for LSD?

First, you can tell Child Protective Services that your mother is hitting you. They can help you find a better situation out of that abusive home. Second, yes, drugs are as bad as they say they are. LSD is a tricky drug. You evidently had what is called a good trip, but LSD doesn't effect you the same way every time you take it. A bad trip can cause you to go completely nuts for a while (many people have killed themselves and others thinking crazy things like I can fly or he's an evil alien). Then LSD causes things called Flash-backs. This is when you trip without taking the drug again. I work with a woman who had a flashback during a meeting with our boss. She said his face turned green and started melting off. She almost lost her job for walking out of the meeting. Take care of yourself.

Theres a guy I like. He goes to my school. Is in my grade, two of my classes, ect. ect.

But, he knows I like him, and doesn't like me back. He's told me multiple times. But lately, he's been acting like I'm okay. Usually he acts like he hates me. He even IMed me first on AIM. Which is like, a first. Ever. We've been able to talk more, and we're getting along pretty well.

The bad side is, well, I've liked him for so long, now that he's finally maybe liking me, I don't feel exactly the same. I'm in this odd stage where, I do and don't like him. I mean, he's hurt me so much, but I feel like I love him. I can't control my feelings.

So what I would like to know is:
Do you think he likes me?
What should I do if he asks me out?
and
Should I take action?(ME asking him out)

I have NO idea what to do.
(13/f)

If he is around your age, I'd bet he wasn't READY to like girls yet. Girls seem to become attracted to the opposite sex sooner than boys, its a peer pressure thing. I do think he is starting to like you. I wouldn't ask him out though, however if he asks you for a date I'd say go. Here is something to remember, we strike out at things we don't understand and everyone trys to protect themselves that way. Forgive his hurtfulness of the past and start building new memories from now on. You are young to settle on someone yet, but I think the two of you may become at the least very good friends. Luck and love!

My mom grew up in a family of singers, and currently I am also learning how to sing. This isn't the fun, free western pop music, but rigid Eastern music with a lot of rules and tone and pitch regulations. My mother is so attached to this Eastern music that if she's blaring this music in the car and I'm trying to do homework, if I ask her to turn it down she completely blows up at me. I don't really like this kind of music, but my mother has already told me that I cannot quit. The part I really don't like is when my mother starts to help me practice at my house with all the drills and stuff we do in class. She gets ticked off because I "sing the music mechanically- you need to put more life into it." I am in chorus at school and I simply adore it, but my mother won't let me switch to Western music. Is there any way I can get her to see my light or to help me cope with hearing this music everywhere I go?

Your mother is trying to hold on to and make you a part of your heritage. She has pride in her culture and wants you to share that. Yes you prefer Western music, but you must realize that though you don't like it, Eastern music is as much a part of you as it is your mother. You should find pride as she does. You don't have to like something to learn an appreciation for it. I challenge you to take an interest in your Easter singing lessons for a month. Ask your mother questions about the song origins and style. Find out all you can about the instruments and the way the music is taught to the players. It is all a part of you. Know that you don't have to stop loving Western music to please your mother, you just have to make an effort to at least understand why Eastern music is so important to her. You may never learn to like it, but it's not going to go away. It seems like such an important thing to you mother, that I'm afraid it could damage your relationship with her if you don't at least try. Yes talk to her about it, but take up my challenge too. Luck and Love! I pray you find a middle ground.

I have not recieved my menstrual cycle since..about..august of last year, and i havent gotten it since and i have been having cravings for random things..like throughout the day i pigged out like right now im eating mint ice cream, chocolate, 2 breakfast hotpockets, anc cheetos .. and pop of course. ive been like this for a couple days..and ive had weight problems in the past..im really skinny..id ask a sister but i dont have one..only a brother lol..ahh..so i was just wodnering if maybe it has to do with my period but i havent gotten it for a long time so...someone help? thanks!

You need to see a gynocologist. Not having your period for that long could be caused from any number of thing (I suspect it's because you are TOO thin), but it needs to be checked out. Cravings usually are because your body lacks something in those foods that you need. A gynocologist can also send you to a dietian who can help you find supplements or healthier foods that will give you the same benifits that the fatty foods you're eating now will not. For example, Avacados and broccolli will give you the same trace nutrients you're seeking from chocolate. Be healthy!

i want to get colored contacts, but i don't need glasses. I want regular ones, not ones for costumers/parties etc. I went to acuvue 2 colors and they have some where the prescription is "0.00 (plano)".. does that mean no prescription? and where can i find non-prescription colored contacts? thanks.

Go to a Wal Mart eye center. They can fit you and you can buy the contacts there for a good price.

>on first I wont tell you that I'm from Poland and my english is quite good

It is rare for someone who is different to be accepted as they are into a fixed situation. Most students by the time they reach high school have known each other for years. They know where they fit into the whole of the class. You are an outsider. You do not have a placed fixed by years of peer pressure and social ties. Unless you are very good looking or very rich, your only true course is to make one or two friends and create your own place. Don't try to bend yourself into one group or another. Be yourself and try to find people who will accept you as you are. It will be difficult, but you will find someone. Good luck, High School is HELL!

hi i've been with my boyfriend for quite a few years now, but unfortunately, everyday i start to think to myself that i should leave him. why is because every single time we get into fights, he never is willing to stay and work it out. he either hangs up the phone and ignores my phone calls/messages or says "just drop it" with an attitude. he also calls me names like bitch when he loses his temper, and personally, i've had enough.

but as you can imagine, i have grown emotionally attached to this guy. i fell in love with who he once was, a sweet, considerate, man. but now it's like i don't know who he is anymore and lately it's just the only thing i can think about is how the quality of our relationship is slowly crumbling beneath us.

i personally do want to call it quits, or at least take a break from each other for a little while, but he refuses. he says things like he can't live without me, and if i leave him he'll kill himself. in a sense i feel that i'm forced to stay in this relationship because i don't want to live knowing i made someone commit suicide over me.

it's a really sticky situation, and i don't know what to do anymore. i do love this guy, but i feel as though i'm falling out of love with him for the person he has become.

please help...

I unfortunately understand part of what you are facing. That hardest part of any relationship is letting one end. If he is not willing to meet you halfway, then there is no way for you to heal this. You do need to inform one of his close friends or his family about his suicide threats and cutting, but there is nothing else you can do for him. You need to get out of this relationship before he distroys all the love you have for him. It will happen. I would have died for my husband, but after 4 years of emotional torment anything I'd felt for him had died. That is the saddest part of all. I have not one spark left to give to him even in friendship or anger. Had we parted even a year earlier we may still have been friends. Think about it, and don't let his depression make you think you have to stay.

what are some bands that aren't well known? like rock or metal bands. like how TBS used to be. but know a lot of people know who they are. know any good ones?thanks.

Lamb of God
Coroner - old school
Accept
The Black League
Mortification
Agathodamaimon
SOD
Stratovarius
Destruction

Enjoy!

I have an Alligator Snapper. It is still very young and is only about 9-10 ounces. What should I feed it? I have tried "Reptile Sticks" that float, but Squirt(The Turtle) doesn't eat them that much...What other kinda stuff is out there?

Thanks....
I rate!

It needs live food, buy it feeder guppies or goldfish. Also, you may want to check to see if it is legal for you to have one in your state. My cousin had some box turtles that he had to free because of that.

im back with my boyfriend james, we went out for 9 months and broke up a month ago but now we're goin out again, he cheated on me with my bestfriend and this really dirty chick. but i coudlnt help the things he says to me hes so nice. is it wrong that im back with him? this boy scotty who has been my friend always was so mad and punched him in the face when he saw me cryin when i found out. he said hed never treat a girl like that and if he does it again he'll rip him apart because he loves me.. he told me he has major feelings too and i think i like him, what should i do

I think I like Scotty. A guy can say any damn thing he wants, and you'll believe it if you want to. James has proven himself unreliable and willing to hurt you. While Scotty's violence is worrisome, I must say I'd like a man to stick up for my honor once in a while. It could get him in real trouble, but he many be worth a shot. However, I'd definately kick James to the curb. A cheat and a smooth talker are nothing but a heartache waiting to happen. Luck and love!

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