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I'm Em.

I'm a 20 year old English/History student living in Sydney.

I dig art, music and books.

I'll take questions on relationships, friendships, high school, uni, or whatever else.



I try to give the best advice I can, usually drawing on my own personal experience. But I'm not perfect, and sometimes when I look back on some of my advice it's far from it (especially when I was 15 and writing LiKe THiS). It's just advice, though. It's not an answer or a solution, it's simply a potentially helpful perspective. And that's all I can offer you.







Photo:

Yayoi Kusama

"Infinity Mirror Room"

Performance art.

Mirrors, soft sculptures.

Castellane Gallery, New York.

1965.




Gender: Female
Location: Sydney, Australia.
Member Since: January 11, 2007
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Last Update: May 22, 2014
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My boyfriend lives with his mom in a basement because his dad was really mean to him and so they moved away from him. His dad lives in Florida and they live in virginia. His dad never talks to him like once on the phone every 3 months, and is very mean to him and calls him ugly and that he has no purpose in life and his father said the world would be a better place without him. It's really mean and Im always there for him and this christmas he gave his dad a christmas card. And his dad didn't even give him anything. He emailed the mom and said some really mean things that he was so grateful some other person gave him a christmas card and he didn't even mention my boyfriends card. He made fun of them and it was really mean. I don't remember it because i didn't read it. But the mom told me about it last night. I feel really bad for him. How can I help him and what should I tell my boyfriend? his mom and the man are still not divorced and she's going to divorce him sometime soon. He doesn't have a dad and his dad makes him feel terrible please help him.... :( (link)
In situations like this it's hard for you to do a lot to help him out. Just keep telling him that you're there for him and be that shoulder to cry on or that someone to listen to him. Just you being there caring for him, loving him and listening to him would mean the world to him.

It's so wonderful that you seem to be there for his mum to. That's so sweet of you. Just keep being the loving, caring person you are!

You could ask if he would like to go to a councellor or therapist to talk about his problems, and you could offer to go with him.

Unfortunatley, some people are just not great human beings. I think the best thing for him is to keep as much distance as possible from his verbally abusive father. Even though it must be so awful for him to avoid someone who is such an important aspect of his life, it might be necessary for his well being.

As for a father figure, what would you think about asking your dad or maybe an older brother to have a chat to your boyfriend? It might be a lot to ask of your dad, but even if he can't be the father figure that can take him out fishing and what not, it would be good for your boyfriend to know that there is someone like a father figure that he can talk to if he really needed to and even look up to.

Invite your boyfriend over for dinner, make him feel like a part of the family. Even invite his mum over now and then too. And don't let all of this fall into your hands. Talk to your mum or family about it and see if they have some advice or if there is something they would be willing to do to help.


I have so many zits pimples whatever I'm tired of them I've washed my face every night and morning they like get smaller but just come back again anything that wouldn't have to cost money any suggestion please ps I now started using clearsil (link)
Try not to wash your face too much. Your skin can dry out and that will cause more pimples. Even with every day cleansers you should only be using it once a day.

It depends what kind of skin you have. I have oily skin so my main problem is trying to keep my skin non-oily. I bought St Ives Peach Face Scrub from the chemist, it was about $10, and the very first time I used it my face felt so clean and smooth. It's only meant to be used about 3 - 4 times week which is as much as you should be cleansing your face. So like, every 2nd or third day. If you have a good cleanser your face won't feel oily or dirty in those 2 to 3 days.

I love facial masks. You can buy bottles or single packets from the chemist/pharmacy for about the same as pimple cream. For a cheaper option, google recipes for it! There are tonnes and you only need to do it once a week.

Exfoliating is good to, there are lots of exfoliating cleansers at the store, or you could see if they have any recipes for that online as well (which would probably involve a few store bought products and things like crushed walnuts but you make a lot for your dollar).

One of my friends used to use toothpaste. In the evening she'd put toothpaste on her pimples for a few minutes then wash it off. I'm not sure how well this worked but she stopped because it dried her skin out.

Little things like eating a bit healthier (atleast one piece of fruit per day, more vegies, less fast food, little to no soft drink and lots of water) can help. Also try not to touch your face as your hands have a lot of bacteria on them. If you have to, use the back of your hand. And if you wear foundation or a lot of makeup, try to limit to only the necessities and remember to always wash off your makeup before you go to bed.

Make sure you change your pillow case regularly as the dirt from your face goes onto your pillow and makes acne worse.

If you google 'how to get rid of acne without buying anything' or something along those lines thousands of ideas will come up.


My eyes are dark brown. My mothers entire family has dark brown eyes. My father's family has dark brown, green, and dark grey eyes. My father's eyes change colour over time. What are the chances of this happening to me? My sister's child has light eyes. Both her parents have dark brown eyes. What are the chances of my child having light eyes, when I have one? (link)
What colour eyes does her partner have? When determining eye colour, there is this thing called the mendel or 'punnet' square. On the top line you write the eye colour of your parents and on the vertical far left side you write your partners parents' eyecolours.

| Brown| blue


I hate being a girl. ABsolutely despise it. I hate hate getting a period I hate having boobs and I hate having a vagina. I love to wear jeans and a baggy tee and in summer baggy shorts with baggy tee. I feel uncomfortable being a girl. I do love men everything about them. PLease Help me what should I do? By the way sex change is not an option. (link)
I'm not sure how old you are or what exactly you mean, but I'll try and guess a bit.

As the other girl said before, you don't have to dress and act or even look like a 'girl'. They're just social conventions and imaginary rules that don't exist. Dress however you like, act however you like. There is nothing wrong with looking and dressing differently, and there is certainly nothing wrong with looking more like a boy when you're a girl.

When you say you hate your boobs and vagina, why do you hate them? Do you hate them because you feel uncomfortable trying to dress and act like a girl? Do you hate the way they look? Do you hate them because you want to have male organs like a penis? Or is it another reason?

If it's the because they make you feel uncomfortable, try not to think too much about them. Your genitals don't make you who you are, your personality and the person you are on the inside do.

If it's because you hate the way they look, you're just feeling how every girl feels sometimes, and that is self conciousness. No one loves every part of their body, and no one has perfect breasts or a nice looking vagina. But you need to know that however you look, however your body is, you and your body are both beautiful. Soemtimes we just need to keep telling ourselves that until we believe it.

If it's because you want to have male organs and a male body, then I think you should open up to your family. If you don't feel comfortable talking to them, go to a teacher or your school councellor and have a talk to them. If you still feel upset about this, then still go to that councellor or teacher or family member and talk to them. They can help you and they always will.

It's wonderful to be different, every one is and more people should embrace it. Be who you want to be and look how you want to look!


So if you had anal sex but not actual sex would that still make you a virgin? Also same question with oral. Thanks! (link)
Virginity seems to refer to the tearing of the hymen, but as most studies have found this can occur from something as simple as riding a horse and many girls have torn it without even knowing years before their first sexual experience.

Something like this is really a matter of opinion. Since the vagina is not being penetrated (and thus the hymen not being torn) then theoretically someone can remain a virgin after having anal sex. In another way, it's still sexual penetration even though it isn't in the preffered female organ. I suppose you could ask if someone is still a virgin if they have sex with an inanimate object?

Personally, I don't see why it doesn't classify as sex. So I would say no, you would not remain a virgin after anal sex, even if it isn't the socially accepted ideological idea of a 'first time'.

As with oral, usually that's not considered the loss of virginity. But it's still a matter of opinion. So, what do you think?


I take my dogs to my in-laws frequently as they have one of my dogs puppies as well as a new dog. I have a male and a female that grew up living on my in-laws property. They are still territorial when they are there. My in-laws have a new female dog who is approximately 1yr old. Something occurred yesterday between the dogs (nobody witnessed what happened) and the german shepherd was badly injured. We did not realize the extent of the injuries, we only knew she had a few cuts on different parts of her body. The dog died in the middle of the night.

I feel horrible about this and am probably very lucky that this occurred on my parent's property with their dogs and not a friend or stranger. I do not know what I am supposed to do about my dogs. My partner and I feel that our female was the cause but again, nobody witnessed what actually happened. We know the facts are there were four dogs, two males and two females. We know that neither our male or female was injured and their son did not appear to be either, may have been bit on his face but nothing serious. HELP. We need advice from someone who is unbiased. We really are searching for the right thing to do in this situation.

My first inclination is to keep my dogs home and simply take proper percautions for the future now that we're aware of what could happen. (link)
It could have just been the case with one dog getting a bit territorial around another dog and a fight ensued. Or, depending on the size of the dogs, they may just have wanted to play and it got a bit vicious.

I was walking my dog who is half daschund half fox terrier (so a mediumish dog) when two bigger dogs which had probably gotten out of their yard were walking down the path towards us. My dog growled and barked as she does with any passing dog and they came bounding after her. Their tails were wagging and it was obvious that they were lovely dogs that maybe saw her as a smaller prey or something to play with. They wanted to bite and play and I had to try and hold her over my head while they jumped all over me trying to bite her until someone came and helped me.

I don't blame those dogs. They were lovely well-tempered dogs. But animals are animals, sometimes they act out in ways we could never imagine.

Don't let your dogs around other dogs anymore, and be careful when they're around children as well. When you walk them, make sure their collar or harness is tight and ALWAYS on. Add a choker or muzzle if you feel like they need it. You must feel awful but sometimes our pets act out like the wild animals they are with uncontrollable behaviour. If they become increasinlgy vicious, take them to the vet to see if it's anything that can be fixed without them being put down. You might want to take them to the vet regardless just to make sure they weren't hurt from the attack and so that the vet can maybe give you some better advice.

You are VERY lucky that this happened at your parents house. Anyone else would have reported you and either had you fined or worse, gotten your dogs put down.


And before I start, I don't want any negative judgements for my decision.

19/female from Australia. Been dating my online boyfriend for 9 months, he's American. He's coming here in Feb 2011 for 5 weeks. Since the distance has had its toll on us already we both decided we don't want to be apart again. He says when he gets here we'll get married and I'll go back with him to the U.S, but me being someone who likes to go by most rules, I don't want to screw around with the system. I don't want to marry him and find out It was illegal for us to do so and then ruin my chance at being with him. I want to do this right way.

I've looked on the USCIS site at different visas, and I'm not sure which one I qualify for, the fiance one would be nice, but I don't know/think I could apply for that since this will be the first time meeting physically and only known each other for 9 months. We haven't decided yet where we want to live, but he said he can definitely take care of me in the U.S and to be honest, it would be great to get away from Australia for a while, and my family. I love this man. I know that, I don't need anyone telling me I'm too young, I'm old enough to decide who I want to be with and where I want to go in life and Dad knows I've always wanted to travel, but once he finds out my plan he will try to stop me since he's the type of guy who likes to have power, but I'm not letting him shield me from the world.

So what I need to know is how to exactly do this. Not so much easy way because there's no such thing but the EASIEST way is what I'm looking for. Also, does him being in the Marines for 5 years then the U.S Army for the past 3 years count for anything at all? Will it make a difference? And is there ANY possibility that we won't have to be apart again for more than like 1 month? at most 2...

I would greatly appreciate if someone could help me out without making harsh judgement... (link)
Before you even look into moving, just see how it goes meeting him in person. It's different knowing someone online and knowing someone in person. The idea seems magical, to marry a man you've loved but never met, but you have to be utterly realistic. He may not be exactly how you envisioned, he may have different habbits or some personality traits that you've never noticed.

And with the marriage, should it be so quick? I say go for it for moving there, for doing whatever you feel like because you're so young and the world is your oyster, but once you're married that's it. I don't think you're too young to be in love, to move overseas or to get married, but I do think you just need to take it all one step at a time.

My advice is to just 'go with the flow' and take baby steps. Meet him, get to know him, spend time with him. And if, after 5 weeks, you feel just as strongly or even stronger, THEN look into moving to America. Would you rather find out how to move there now and get everything prepared, or wait a few months just to make sure it's absolutely what you want to do? A few months just to be certain.

Honestly, I see nothing wrong with people finding love online. I respect people that have met their partners online and are proud to say it. But it HAS to be sad: be careful. You will never know if what he has told you is true. I know you'll resent that, but you need to hear it even if you already know it.

From what I gather, you just need your visa and passport to go to America. Then while there, you apply for the citizenship test, study hard, and pass it. I would think that if you married him in America they would be unable to deport you, but I'm not sure. I would suggest calling the department of imigration and citizenship and see if they have any information OR if they are able to direct you/give you a contact number for someone that will. I'm not sure if America has their own government based website with contact information for migrants.

Goodluck with your relationship and moving overseas, I really do hope it all turns out wonderfully.


Ok so im having the worst christmas break ever. Im sick with a cold, a sore throat, and my left ear is in a lot of pain and I've been sneezing ALL DAY!!!. I tried getting myself better using medicine and all that but I just seem to be getting worse. My car's transmission went bad. So i have to get a new one for over 2,000 dollers. But i have to buy a new car INSTEAD. If someone can help me find a cheap car that would be great because I've looked everywhere online. I'm 19 btw. And I worked overtime last night to make more money. I have nothing to do for new years because I don't have a car. I just got my period today so I'm really moody. And I've been crying for the past 2 hours. :'( My mom wants me to go to this single's dance tomorrow but I hate those I would rather just hang out with my friends and my boyfriend. I don't know what to do. My life is a wreck. I was car searching for about 6 hours too. Please help I'm so stressed and unhappy :( (link)
Sugar you're just going through a hard time. Everybody goes through them at various points during their life. It's just hard because you're at the point in your life when you have just become an adult and have to deal with all of these things on your own.

For the sickness: You feel worse before you feel better. If you haven't seen your doctor already, go and get some prescription medicine. If you have, then just go through the meds, stay inside, keep warm, eat some chicken soup, and COLD foods help your throat more than HOT foods (you can google it!). Even ask your parents if they can make you some food if you live out of home so that you don't have to cook for a while. Just stay in bed, try not to talk so much to save your throat and relax! Watch some dvds, read a book.

For the car: That really does suck, but life goes on. I live in Australia and have no idea where you live so I can't really help you out, but tell people on facebook you're looking for a car, let your friends know, and keep looking online. When you feel a bit better, go out with a friend or family member and look around at cars people have on the sides of roads and what not that they're selling for a decent price. Avoid dealers as they charge far too much.

For New Years: You shouldn't be going out anyway! You're sick! You should be in bed trying to get better. There will be other new years celebrations for you to attend, so don't worry honey.

For the period: It'll be over in a week.

For the singles dance: I'm not sure if it's happened or not, but just tell your mum you're sick.

Life gets a bit hard sometimes and it is stressful, but it will go away soon. Keep your chin up and get through your problems one at a time.


i [19f] definitely, absolutely, certainly only like him [20m] as a friend. and i am as close to certain as i can possibly be about him also only liking me as a friend. i'm not into friends-with-benefits relationships. he's tried to hook up with me before and i said no, but sometimes when we cuddle he'll hug me just right and i'll want it so badly.. we hooked up once before leaving for winter break, and we've talked every day since leaving. i do not want to be more than friends but sometimes i really, really want to hook up with him.. thoughts? what should i do?

i realize that the constant texting and skyping is bad, so my new rule has been that i can't initiate the conversation. the texting has slowed significantly but the skyping not so much..

it's just that i always tell myself i don't want to hook up with him, i shouldn't hook up with him, but then when i think about it i really want to, physically. heeelp (link)
If you definitley, absolutely, certainly only like him as a friend, then you shouldn't be leading him on. It's only going to cause problems for the both of you.

So if you aren't hardcore denying your feelings for him for some reason or another, then don't hook up with him again.

Sometimes it's nice just to cuddle with someone and feel affectionate with someone. Sometimes it's lonliness and other times it makes us feel good inside that someone wants to be around us in that way. But it's not healthy. Everybody feels like hooking up with someone that they don't have genuine feelings for, but you need to use some self control and just not do it.

I guess for pros, the feeling is nice (feeling of affection and closeness to another human being, and the feeling of being attractive).

The cons, the feeling is momentary and fleeting. It'll go and you'll want it again.

If you aren't into friends-with-benefits relationships, then you shouldn't continue this.

So just to end, it's so normal to feel the physical urge to hook up with someone that you shouldn't or that you only like as a friend, but you have to use your will power to stop yourself.


I've been shaving my pubic hair for about 8 months. A few days ago I did again and after I did I noticed bumps on certain spots on where I shaved at. It is weird and I don't know what caused them. Do you possibly know what caused this? I'd really be glad if you could tell me what caused them. (link)
I have sensitive skin so sometimes when I shave I get little bumps that come up on my legs. They usually go away in about a day or two. I would suggest looking around at shaving cream for sensitive skin. There are also creams for sensitive skin that you put on after shaving which I would reccomend using along with the sensitive skin shaving cream. And of course you can always ask your local chemist/pharmacist about it and the products.

Make sure the area is clean before shaving and also that the razor is clean and not rusty at all. All of these things can cause skin irritation.

If it persists/gets worse or if you still feel uncertain about it then go to your local doctor.


My boyfriend has started asking me if I want to be fingered. I don't know what to do. I told him I don't know. But he keeps asking me this for a while now. I'm just afraid that he might while we're at school. Advice needed A.S.A.P!!! (link)
If you need to ask on here what to do, then you aren't ready, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that

It doesn't matter how many times he asks, if you don't know then don't do it. You'll know when you're ready to take the next step, so don't rush into anything.

He keeps asking because you're giving him an inconclusive answer, so he thinks that sooner or later you're going to say yes. If you think that you aren't ready, which is the vibe I'm getting from your question, then you need to tell him no. Explain that you just aren't comfortable enough or ready yet for that. He should understand, and if he doesn't then it's a good thing you didn't take that next step with him.

There's nothing wrong with be afraid, unsure, or just not feeling ready for anything sexual yet, so don't be afraid to say no.


I have been communicating with my boyfriend for a year before we got together and we just made it official on Christmas day. Now even though I feel like nothing has changed, I don't feel like he is really committed to "us" like I am. He is the same age but is like a big kid. And the only time he is mature about anything is in the bedroom. Sometimes I feel as though I'm rushing things or maybe he doesn't take the relationship seriously. I thought maybe I should just ignore him for a couple of days or act non-chalant on certain things to get his attention. Should I give it a try? (link)
Guys don't mature at the same rate as girls for one. And two, he may just not be ready for a relationship.

I would suggest trying to talk to him about it. Maybe he has some trust issues or feels a bit insecure, or maybe that's just his personality.

Also, you two haven't been officially dating long. Yes I know you two have known each other for quite a while but being in a relationship with someone is different to being friends with them. And even if you don't feel that way, he might. Dating you may be completely different to being friends with you and so he isn't taking everything totally seriously yet.

Just relax a little. Ease into the relationship like you would with any other. Don't take it so seriously, it's only just beginning to blossom. If you can't, then as I said before try to talk about it. In the end your relationship might work or it might not, but you can't tell the future.

I really do hope it works out for the both of you.


My girlfriend and i have been talking about having sex were both virgins both 17 and im a bit worried about it my penis is not that big my girlfriend says she loves me but im worried i wont be any good wont be able to please her
im still nervous about having sex can you satisfy a girl with a small penis? (link)
A lot of guys worry about their size, especially when it's their first time. Of course a smaller penis can please a girl. Size really does not matter. A girls vagina is a restrictive area, and since she's still a virgin it's going to be quite small.

As she's never had sex before, the first few times may be a bit uncomfortable and even a little painful for her. Just remember to be slow and gentle, and listen to her to make sure you're not going to fast. After the first few times she'll feel a lot of pleasure from sex.

When you both feel comfortable being so intimate with one another, you can both help each other to make the experience more pleasurable. She might like it if you do it harder or softer, or a certain way. As the saying goes, it's not quantity, it's quality.

So don't worry sweetie, you'll definitely be able to satisfy her.


I am serious. I am so tired of having to go out of my way and spend so much time cleaning the inside shower walls and doors every two weeks or a month. And if I wait one month before I decide to clean the shower walls it takes much longer and more physical effort to clean them. And then, when I decide to clean them, I have to get a mild brush, then presoak the shower walls and the inside surface of the glass doors by spraying water on them. Then, I throw the powder cleaner on the walls or spray the shower surface cleaner on the walls and then lightly scrub all the services which includes the three walls, both inside surfaces of the glass sliding doors and the chrome and aluminum frame surfaces. Then, I have to step out side onto the carpet with soap on my feet or shoes. But, I'll have to lay out a towel so that I can wipe my feet or shoes on. Then, I fumble around with the shower head trying to make it rinse all the soap off all the walls, which it won't. So, I have to take a cup or a bucket and splash water up on the walls and the inside surfaces of the two shower glass doors. Then, I play water hockey on the shower floor trying to spray or shoot all the soap residue down the drain. And of course, I as well as most everyone else, realize all the effort being put into having to properly clean the inside of the shower. But, wait! The shower cleaning job is not finished because I have to get in there with a clean dry towel and wipe down the walls, glass doors and all the chrome faucets and aluminum frame around the doors. Okay, the 30 minute shower cleaning with all of the physical effort and a some aggravation is over. And then before you know it two or three weeks have passed and it's time again for that 30 minute monotonous, ridiculous cleaning routine AGAIN! Please tell me what I can do so I never have to do that again yet, still be able to take a shower every day in the same shower! (link)
I have this no name brand mold killer that is incredibly strong. It says to leave it to rest for 10 minutes in the shower, but if I do the whole house becomes this haze of chemical fumes. I found though, that if I leave it for about a minute it really breaks down the grime quickly.

Buy a strong mold killer like that to keep the scum at bay. After two weeks I find that all I really need to do is give the shower another quick spray of the agent and a rinse before it's done again. The good thing about this spray is I don't have to worry about lots of foam and soap. I spray it over the tiles, wipe it around and get it into the hard places, leave it for about a minute or two, then wipe it away with water.

Putting it off for a month seems a bit long to me. My bathroom is used by two people every day, and 30 days of 60 showers is a bit disgusting. If you just take about 5 - 10 minutes once a week to give your shower a quick spray and rinse you won't have to worry so much about build up.

It's a bit gross, but I also have an old body scrubber thing hanging from one of the taps that I don't use anymore. If I'm having a shower and get soap all over the top of the glass where it's hard to rinse off or see some grime under the door, I give it a quick scrub with that and rinse it off while I'm in the shower.

Doing little bits regularly really pays off, even if you just decide to do parts of the shower every week in short intervals instead of spending half an hour every month scrubbing.

Also, look around at different sprays and cleaners to find what works best with your shower and what helps fight the scum longer.

To help clean off the spray, you could get a little empty spray bottle or one of those bigger gardening spray bottles and fill it with water.

Alas, shower cleaning is an inevitable part of life. You could always hire a maid?


So, starting off- i am interested in writing (ANYTHING - Stories, plays, poems, articles, reports etc.) and also in Money-Making!
So, i was just contemplating and thought that would it be profitable to directly jump into paid articles, books, ebooks etc. Or would it be more profitable to gain fame by writing free articles, books, ebooks etc. ? Since my logic says that people who are rich (There are many of them!), would buy a random book, article to enjoy. So, in that case, is writing free, profitable? (link)
There are different ways to make your way in the business. Some people start a free blog, and as it gains more and more recognition the writer receives payment from the website owners to create regular articles or publishers 'discover' you to write for them.

If you search online you'll find a lot of businesses asking for freelancers, mostly to write regular articles for online blogs and what not.

I would suggest sussing out local newspapers/websites etc looking for freelance work. Not that you have to have a diploma to get into the industry at all, but something like a bachelor of arts degree would help.

Living as a freelancer is difficult as money is uncertain. But, if it's what you love then go for it!

Also look for local writing groups. There's one at my university that I looked into and they always have a lot of news and information on opportunities for writers.

Oh, just an edit:

Writing for free is profitable in a sense that it gives you the ability to progress and better your writing skills. Starting something like a weekly blog/journal gets you into the habit of writing regularly and also helps you find your writing niche. Whether you will ever be discovered though is debatable. If it's for free, do something that doesn't take a huge chunk of your time and effort.


My dad smokes and always did when I was growing up. My parents are getting a divorce and he moved out last week. Ever since he moved out I feel weird cravings for the smell of the smoke. Like, I REALLY want to smell it and I feel kind of irritated that it's hard to find a smoker around without it being obvious I want to smell the smoke. When I went out shopping I kind of lingered around these people smoking outside so I could breathe it in and I felt a little better for awhile. Do you think second hand smoke is addictive or do I just miss the smell or something? It's really weird. (link)
I would have to agree with Raven. It seems more likely that the smell of smoke triggers subconcious thoughts of your father. As he's not around, you long for more and more of that smell to feel as if he is there with you.

It's not really possible to become addicted to second hand smoke. Some people can find the smell highly enjoyable, and studies have shown that inhaling large amounts of second hand smoke as a child increases the possibility for that child to take up smoking later in life.

It is possible that you have attained an enjoyment from the smell and are succeptable to smoking yourself so please be careful.

Divorces are hard, and if you need someone to talk to then reach out. There are plenty of organisations like the kids help line and beyond blue, and at your school/college/local community there will be councillors you can speak to.


i lived with boyfriend ten years he has a farm its a limited company it belonged to his dad and uncle they made him and his cousin partners he has no money in his personal bank as he has low wage can i make a claim against the farm like a devorce settlement he had farm bfor i met him i havent worked or paid anything towards we share the children (link)
You can hire a lawyer and ask for up to 50% of all of his assets. You would need to speak to your lawyer in detail about your options and what you have a legal right to own. Then it depends on the courts decisions unless an agreement can be made between you and your exboyfriend.

It is very difficult though because you weren't married to them so technically, you have no legal right to anything he owns. If you can prove though that you need or have some sort of ownership over any of these assets, you may be entitled to something.


My hips are pretty wide and I have kind of a big butt. Are there any ways to shrink my hips and reduce my butt that are safe and not dangerous like going for plastic surgery? Like exercises to do to reduce hip size or foods that I can eat that will make my butt smaller? I mean, I don't want NO hips but just...smaller. I look weird because my bottom half is a couple of sizes bigger than my top half, chest and boobs. So, does anyone know a way to get a better hourglass shape then? Thank you. (link)
You have a pear body shape, which is actually a lovely body type to have. I think that a lot of women look good with bigger thighs.

Things like regular exercise (running/jogging/walking/biking) would all help tone your legs and if you google butt or thigh exercises there are lots of other different exercises you can do to focus on that area of your body.

As with food, fat seems to go to different parts of everyones body, so I would recommend just eating healthy foods. Cut out fast foods and try not to eat a lot of fatty/fried/salty/sugary foods. Increase your fruit and vegie intake as well. Always go for the healthier alternative for a snack and when you go out.

I'm not sure how old you are but if you're under the age of about 21 your breasts will grow bigger and even out your body a little bit more.

As long as you exercise regularly and eat well you'll have the body you're meant to have.

And love your body! Having bigger hips and sort of a big butt aren't bad things!



so there's this guy I'm kinda crushin on but he doesn't really know me. I'm pretty sure he knows OF me, but I think he's so good looking and from what I know about him, I like. we graduated from the same high school only he's 2 years ahead of me. he works at this place really close to where I live. I've never even talked to him and I'm way too scared to make the first move and just randomly talk to him. we're facebook friends but I don't just wanna randomly message him, that might come on as a little creepy. what can I do to kinda get him to notice me? (link)
Do you have any mutual friends? One sneeky way to get a guys attention is to get a mutual friend to bring you up in conversation and talk about how great you are. You could also get this mutual friend to have a get-together and invite the two of you.

Be more visible to him. Not in a stalker-ish way, just walk past his work now and then and if you happen to be in the same area, make an effort to be somewhat nearer to him. If you do get him within talking distance you can always make general conversation. Even bringing up something like "Hey, didn't you used to go to [insert name of high school]? Your face seemed familiar. I went there too."

Do the usual flirty body language like a cute smile and not being overly excited just to be in his presence. Try not to force conversation as well. Just be nonchalant about it all and after you've spoken for a few minutes just say something like "It was nice meeting you." and leave with a casual exit.

If you do suddenly get a courageous feeling to make the first move, do it! Goodluck :)


20-f Ry -19

So I really like this kid Ryan. Hes so sweet, respectful, everything you would want in a guy. The last time we hung out, we kissed and made out. I wanted to kiss him but oh my gosh was it the worst thing ever ..he basically ate my face. It was horrible. And he kept wanting to do it. I felt like I didn't even know what to do because I could barely do anything since he was so sloppy. I didn't know what to do!! I can't tell him he's not a good kisser. And sometimes you just want those cute peck kisses. So we were laying down watching a movie and I had to leave and he was like okay come on one more time, so he started making out with me again. All I wanted was a cute peck kiss to say goodbye. Finally I said, just give me a kiss and then I have to go. So he did and then he tried making out with me again! I definitely would not mind making out with him more if it wasn't so awkward and horrible for me. I actually feel bad. What can I do without hurting his feelings by saying he's not a good kisser?? And he just goes so fast and rough -I like it when you make out slow and passionate but I don't think he really gets it. I don't know how many girls he's made out with before but I just don't know how to fix this. Could this be a problem? (link)
Coax him a little. Say things like "a little softer" and "move your tongue like this" etc. If he's really not getting the hint, just say you want him to just give you a soft peck-kiss.

You don't have to be straightforward and say "You're an awful kisser, let me fix you." unless you two have a good sense of humor and can laugh about it. But be straightforward about what you want. "I want you to kiss me softly." "I want you to kiss me like this."

You can be honest without being brutally honest, like saying "You kiss a little too rough, do it a bit softer, like this". He's probably just very excited about being with you and kissing you so he's going a little overboard with the passion.

Guys usually jump at any chance to learn and improve their 'skills', so as long as you say it nicely there shouldn't be a problem.




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