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Hi. I left and came back. But I don't like this column anymore. Check out my new column.

http://www.advicenators.com/column.php?u=thefish

advice

I`m 15/f and im inlove with a 19 year old. It`s not that much of a difference but some people think it is. My parents wont let me see him because of his criminal record / past with drugs. What should I do? How can i find ways to be able to see him?
Ive never felt so special in my life and im so happy when im with him. sometimes when im in the car with my parents I start crying cause they dont understand how much i love him and they dont care.
how can i sneak around and find ways to see him please help me!

If you're the type who gets upset when people don't tell you what you want to hear--DO NOT read any more of this. Don't rate me, don't comment, just ignore this. Because I'm going to tell you what you should do, and it's the exact opposite of what you want to do.

When you go out with a guy, you have to look at certain things. You'll always know that a good guy is good and that a scumbag is, well, a scumbag. The age difference isn't very much at all, and that's not what your parents are objecting to, it seems. Their only problem with him is a criminal record and a past with drugs? That's perfectly fine thing to have a problem with! These are more than just warning signals! So you're happy when your with him. That says nothing. A complete stranger could come up to you and give you a hug, and you would feel happy and special and safe--it's a natural reaction. I could tell you that you're the prettiest girl in the world, and that I'm the only one who understands you, but that doesn't mean I love you. You stay with this guy and you're going to get into more trouble than you can handle! Already you want to sneak around. That's really sad, I think. You have a relationship with your parents that is built on trust, and sneaking around is going to break that trust. Your parents DO care, that's why they don't want you to see this guy! Strong as you may think you are, you are capable of being hurt. And whatever happens to you, your parents will feel that pain tenfold. I sincerely hope you listen to this. There are better men out there. Just keep searching.

-Lea

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Say you're working. Some guy walks in, and he's a nice, respectable young man who, after moderate conversation, turns out to be kind of interesting.

Okay, I'll just cut to the chase. I'm basically asking how you would respond to a guy asking for your number while you were at work (one who doesn't work with you). What 'parameters' would lead to a positive outcome, if any?

-I overthink things consistently.

I think that would be a really, really bad idea. When somebody's working, they have to be WORKING. If she even talks to you in a way that's not related to say, helping you find a book at the library, she could get in serious trouble--fired even! If a guy asked me for my number while I was working, I'd say "Sorry, but no." So, you'll probably have to find a better place to meet women. Sorry.

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My family is all going to go to Wisconsin next Thursday-Sunday. I do not want to go and neither does my mom. We would both go if my dad let us stay in a hotel, but he said that it is too much money. My grandfather (My grandfather is who we are going there to see.) keep his house at 95 degrees and I'm not joking. There aren't even enough beds in his house! He can't hear a word that I say and I'm have strep right now so, I'm not going to talk any louder than I normally do. I really do not want to go up to Wisconsin (Mom said that she's staying here) so, how do I convince my dad to not make me go?

I rate 5's for anyone who tries

If you end up having to go, just look on the bright side. I mean, he's your grandfather. It doesn't matter if he can't hear you. He can see you, and that's enough for him. You gotta make sacrifices for your family. And why not compromise with a cheap motel? They're a little dirty and don't have hot tubs, but they cost less money and they're fine as long as you bring your own sheets and blankets. But really, you shouldn't go, because you're sick! You really should stay at home and rest, because strep is pretty serious. Whining about not wanting to go isn't going to do anything--that will just make you seem immature, and your dad will be more determined to make you go. But being sick is a reasonable excuse! Reason with your dad, and be mature about it. Maybe your mom can help convince him, too.

Good luck.

-Lea

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Lately, I've been getting pretty serious with my guy friend who just happens to be 18. The problem is, I'm 15.

He, however, is still in highschool and still has one more year to complete.

Is this consider child molestation or anything like that? Could he, or I, get in trouble?

Also, I turn 16 in about a week, when I'm 16 is that still illegal?


If you have sex, yes, it is technically illegal but those laws aren't really enforced if it's your boyfriend. They're mostly to protect seven-year-olds who had "consenual" sex with a teacher--because even though the seven-year-old might not have said "No.", it's still rape because he or she is underage. But if you're a couple, nobody's going to care--they won't even know unless you do it in public. And it depends on your area. Where I am, the age is 17, but I think in Hawaii it's 14.

http://www.ageofconsent.com/ageofconsent.htm has a list of the age of consent for, apparently, every country. Scroll down to the USA and find your state. Unless you're not in the US, in which case, just find your country. =)

-Lea

PS-Make sure you're safe! ;-)

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Okay. I have no idea what category to put this in so I hope this is OK.

I am in the first chapter of Harvest Moon: Another Wonderful Life. It is Summer and day 5.
Rock like me 4 hearts, Marlin likes me 3 hearts, and Gustaf likes me 1 heart.

The harvest sprites already gave me the blue feather.

However, whenever I 'show' it to Rock all he says is "That makes me want to fly like a bird".

He has done this over 10 times.

How else am I suppost to purpose?

I RATE !!!!!!

By the end of the year, whoever likes you the most will automatically marry you. So don't make the other guys like you any more, and you should be able to get Rock.

If you go to http://hmotaku.net/?m=g&g=awlfg&p=fg-rock , there is a full list of Rock's character events. You might have to get a certain scene with him before he can accept your proposal, and this will tell you step-by-step how to do it.

Good luck!

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Im just going to get down to the point. What could be a creative way of asking her out face to face? What do girls like to be complimented on? What really really turns a girl on?
I want this from a females perspective mostly. Thanks. I rate 5's.
15/m

1. Give her a flower and call her "M'lady."

2. "You are very pretty."

Don't complain when they talk about how fat they are. Say, "Well I like you the way you are." and give her a kiss. DO NOT say "You're not fat." It's weird, but that just pisses us off.

What turns us on...hm...well, I can't answer that without wandering into the realm of the inappropriate. Sorry. But it's different for each girl. When you have a girlfriend, you're probably just going to have to figure it out a little bit at a time.

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what's the freshman year is like? because im going
to high school next year and im scared and yeah

Varies from school to school. Mine was not that bad. You get used to it after a few days, trust me. People might call you "stupid frehman" but they don't actually care. My advice...don't have a huge backpack stuffed with books. You get seriously made fun of for that, and it's hard to move in the hallway. Just carry a couple of books at a time and use your locker. But really, it's NOT that bad. There's nothing to be scared of, and high school will be over before you know it.

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what r the pros and cons of using a tampon?

Pros- I guess it's more comfortable, that's what people say anyway. You can swim with one.

Cons- They hurt when you put them in the first time, and if you leave them in too long you can get toxic shock syndrome.

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what do the 3 bases mean? like i know that they have something sexual to do with them, but what are they?

They're different for everyone.

Usually it's something like:
1st-kissing
2nd-making out
3rd- hand job/oral/something in that vicinity
home-intercourse

But I'm weird, so for me it's like:
1st-looking at each other
2nd-talking to each other
3rd-holding hands
home-hugging

...But I'm weird. I think most people would go by the first example.

-Lea

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you answered my question .. about the whole boyfriend and friend gettin involved and making things up .. well we figured stuff out and were back togehter .. and now my friend is being very critical and very hurtful. shes like oh my god why are you back with him, your so stupid. i cant wait for it to happen again .. it really hurts my feelings that she said that .. and its not changin my mind about cody.. its just makin me feel not so thrilled with my friends ..

and they're pissed at me so there goina to tell kayla i said i think she made that stuff up .. and shes goina get mad at me. and thast what their goal is, to get kayla mad at me ..

i dont know waht to do ..

Don't fight. If you all take a deep breath, you're capable of working it out like adults. Just say, "You know what? I don't want any drama. Let's just let it go. I don't want to fight over something that's not really important." If they can't agree do that, forget them. They're just being drama queens. Give them a break for a while. It might seem childish to stop talking to someone, but really it isn't--why should you talk to people who are just hurting you? Spending a few days away from them will be good for you in the long run. It will help all of you sort out your thoughts. After a few days, go to them and try to patch things up again. If it still doesn't work, forget them for good. Nobody needs friends like that.

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my friend kayla .. thought it would be a GREAT joke to IM my boyfriend and act like some girl looking to hook up .. and the thing is that kayla has a tendency to make things up .. or to invision things differently when she doenst like the person .. and she really really didnt like how my boyfriend treated me.

well she called me after she 'IMed him' as mandy moody, and he apparently asked her for pictures, her age, grade, and said that he had a girlfriend but wasnt thinking it would last much longer, becuase 'i didnt put out'.

so when i heard this, i got very hurt and very upset. and i tend to make snap decisions and judgements in the heat of hte moment .. so i broke up with him .. now i realize talkin to him would have been a better idea.

the more and more i think about it, the more and more it seems as if kayla maybe did say that just to get me to dump cody .. her own sort of motivation in a way .. because for someone who had such a problem with me not puttin out, he never made any moves .. all the things we did do I INITIATED! .. so i guess my question is .. what should i do .. try and talk to him .. see if i can get him to take me back .. how would be the best way to go about doing that?

guys opinion .. would you take someone who did that back ..?

i mean i wasn't completely happy with how he treated me, but i cant do this anymore. i cry constantly. the only time i dont cry is when i sleep, and then i dream about him. so i wake up and cry more .. i liked this kid for over a year. 7 months of that was trying to get over him. now ive dated him and fell harder, and now i have to give him up. what kills me is i didnt lose him, i let him go ...

Go to him and tell him the entire situation. It's a good idea to take turns talking about it. If you want, you can designate an object, and whoever is holding it does the talking. Don't beg to be taken back. Just tell him everything you told us and say, "I hope you can forgive me." Then it will be his turn to say what he wants, because I'm sure he's more than a little hurt. I've seen guys take girls back after things like this, but if he doesn't, it's not such a big deal. You got it off your chest, and you'll be amazed how good that feels no matter what the outcome. And whatever happens, look on the bright side. If he doesn't take you back, just focus on the fact that you weren't completely happy with him anyway--it'll be better for you and it will be easier to get over him.

If you have any more questions after talking to him, feel free to ask me.

-Lea

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What makeup usually covers the red bumps? I know it's acne. But it's just RED, no i don't pick or pop at them. I use moisturizer and wait a few minutes because if i do it 10-15 mins later, my makeup cracks. like my face is dry or i used too much makeup o.o My skin is combination though. I dont know what to do use. I tried using concealer, foundation, powder but the red just shows right through and i look weird with lots of makeup on. I see other girls that cover them up nicely. I don't know how to do it.

Don't use make up. It will make it worse! You have acne because your pores are clogged, and makeup is an excellent pore-clogger. Put down the cosmetics RIGHT NOW. Start washing your face daily with hot water and regular soap, if that doesn't work get Phisoderm or Clearasil. If you still have problems, see a doctor. There are prescription creams that help really well. Makeup will do a lot of damage, you want your face to be healthy as well as beautiful. Later, when you have the acne under control, you can still wear makeup. But don't keep it on for a long time, and beware that it may cause breakouts (which can be controlled). Good luck.

-Lea

EDIT, in response to your feedback: So you go to a DOCTOR. It can be cured with medicine. Yes, makeup does make it worse--that's a fact of life. And even if didn't, covering it up still isn't going to benefit you.

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im hearing sex pleasure is from the clitoris....what?!!?!?!? how could that be there dick isnt touching the cltoris its in the whole???!! so if your having sex and hes sticking it up you rough and good n all ur not going to get pleasure??? is it really just by the clit? how could that be if the dicks not even touching the clit?? HELP!!!!

Yeah, basically. ;-) Just sticking it in isn't gonna do anything for her. You can read all about it at http://www.the-clitoris.com/ The 'Massage' section is probably what you're looking for, but you could benefit from reading the whole thing. I could try to explain it, but that site is better written than anything I could ever type in a little text box. Don't worry about it! There are tons of women out there who seem to get pleasure from having sex with men. It just needs to be the right guy, and they both need to know what they're doing.

-Lea

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If a girl is masterbating, can she make herslef cum? or have an orgasum?? and does that mean her cherry popped??

Yeah. =) If it didn't make us orgasm, there'd be no point in it! But usually I find that just fingering doesn't work. Be experimental. But SAFE. Use common sense!

And no, it doesn't mean her cherry has popped. This, as Razhie explained, means to break the hymen, but it's also slang for merely losing your virginity (Note: you can break the hymen without losing your virginity; it used to be widely thought that they were related, hence the double meaning of the phrase 'pop the cherry'). Virginity actually has a pretty lose definition. If you masturbate and believe that you're no longer a virgin because of it, that's fine, but not everybody counts it.

Hope I helped. ;-)
-Lea

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im going to california for 5 days on the 28th of june
and i have a little bit of bacne (acne, on my back)

mostly on my shoulders, but it is so embarrissing
i dont even like wearing halters

but like, around my friends, i dont care
but im going to a beach, with hot guys, and since its vacation, im not looking for "someone who likes you because of your personality" blah blah

so, any quick fixes for ance?!
(i have it on my face too)

The guys probably aren't going to notice/care. Everybody has a little acne, guys too. But wash it every day with soap and hot water, it may also be good to get some Phisoderm and use that. You don't have to completely get rid of the zits, but just get rid of all the bacteria, and simply washing your face will help do that. Same thing for your back, just wash it. I'm not sure if this medically proven or not, but the salt water may also help. It helps with cuts and scrapes, so I don't see why acne would be any different. Don't forget sunblock, either. The sun will make your acne worse, and you don't want to get burned ;-) But I've seen a lot of people with acne attract hot members of the opposite sex. Don't worry about it too much (stress also makes your acne worse!) and just have fun.

-Lea

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well me and my friend where arguing which name is hotter, better (don't ask me why)
so i want you guyzz opinon so we can finally settle this whole thing. which name is hotter amy or pam..why? thanxx a bunch will rate high

I think they're equally hot. ;;^^ Sorry.

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alright,
well i have a boyfriend that i really do like. But before we were going out i liked this other guy but he already has a gf. but he still liked me a little bit. well then i started going out with a guy but i still have feelings for the other guy. and i talked to him on aim and he wants me to break up with my boyfriend so we can go out once hes single. i really like him but i dont want to hurt my boyfriend plus i really like him too! i dont kno what to do, help if you can,

XconfusedX

You may not like what I'm going to tell you, but it's something you need to learn. You don't want guys like that. Guys who have a girlfriend but like you and want you to wait for them to be single are among the worst types of guys. He's PLAYING you. If you want to break up with your boyfriend, do it for you, not for another guy. Because, believe me, you're not going to be happy with this other guy. To him, you are no different from the girlfriend he has right now, and the second he sees some other cute girl, he's going to do the same thing behind your back. I know you can't help the way you feel, but you know, he's like a flame. You want to touch it, but it will burn your hand off. You have a perfectly fine boyfriend! Stay with him! If you are too confused and feel like you can't stay with him, break up with him (gently!) and stay single until you can sort your feelings out. Tell him that even though you like him, you're just really confused at the moment. And about this other guy, have you tried asking him why he doesn't just break up with his girlfriend now? Try it. I suggest doing it in person, and making him look you in the eye--that way it's harder to lie. He'll probably say something like, "I can't right now." or make up some silly excuse. Don't buy it. He's not worth breaking up your happy relationship.

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Okk i'm 13 and I don't have a boyfriend! I can't say if i'm pretty or not... so could you please be honest and tell me what you think about how I look? Also tell me if I should change anything (p.s. my outfit doesn't match... inore that)


thanks

So, like, I'm 18 and have had one boyfriend, and he only lasted a couple of hours. It's NOT a big deal! You still have a long time to get a boyfriend! Just have confidence, and don't wait around for them. You have to go out and get him.

You're pretty if you feel pretty. If you think you're ugly, other people are going to think you're ugly. But NEVER go out with a guy who only likes you because you're pretty.

And sorry, the pic doesn't show up. Go to www.tinypic.com and upload it, then copy where it says URL. C:/Documents and Settings/file.jpg is only on your computer, but http://www.tinypic.com/file.jpg is available for all computers. ;-)

-Lea

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Well, I've seen a lot of people make short movie clips with just picures or actual dancing and such.. And where you can add music and aniamtion and all that jazz, I was wondering what programs you can download to make those small films I've been wanting to make some for awhile but I've never been able to figure out what you use.

You can use Windows Movie Maker if you have a PC, and I-Movie if you have a mac. I'm not sure where you can download them, though, since Movie Maker came with my computer. You can try searching for it on google.

-Lea

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ok so im going to babysit this one family and i want to make a good impression so shell call me back... what should i do?

thanks i rate 5's

Show up early! That way you can meet the kids, and go over house rules and emergency numbers before hand, and the parents will be VERY impressed!

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