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June 20, 2007Answers:
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Mackenzie
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As John Lennon once said, "Life is what happens while you're busy making other plans." So true.Giving advice is sort of second nature to me. I use to have a column on here but ended up deleting it. Now once again I have decided to give advice again. I value people and their problems and try to help them the best I can.
No question is a silly question. Every question has importance. I sometimes feel like some of my questions I want to ask are viewed as pointless but have comed to realize that this isn't entirely true.
My biggest pet peeves are bad spelling, grammar and punctuation. It's silly, but I mean it's not that difficult to tell the difference between you're and your. Or even their, they're and there. No offense if you do any of this, but we learned all of these when we were younger in 5th grade (give or take).
Personally one of my favorite quote is by Eleanor Roosevelt. "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent."
If only people would truly realize this, the world would be so much happier.
advice
Is it appropriate to wear a bright red dress
to a wedding?
The wedding is a formal evening wedding. The
dress is a simple sleeveless dress. It has a
scoop neckline and shows just a little, but
not a lot of cleavage. I would wear it to other
formal events, just not sure if its appropriate
for a wedding.
I think it'd be fine, even if it's a bright red dress. The color might be a little bright but I've been to a ton of weddings trust me and a lot of people wore red. The neckline and all sounds fine, not skimpy so I don't think it'd be too bad.
If you don't think it'd be okay try getting a little black dress. A black dress would be perfect for a wedding also. I'm suggesting this if you don't feel comfortable about wearing the red dress still. You can never go wrong with a little black dress.
I hope this helps you tons. :)
does anyone know any diet pills that are effective and that 14 year olds can buy? and that are also not too too expensive? i need to lose some weight and what i'm doing is not working out.
and i'm probably ruining my body but i don;t care anymore. 121 pounds is too much for me.
anyone who can offer any advice thank you very much :]
Diet pills are totally not the answer. Look at these sites: http://www.1is2fat.com/dangers_of_diet_pills.htm
http://www.diet-blog.com/archives/2005/07/07/the_sickening_truth_about_diet_pills.php
It shows you the dangers of diet pills. It'll ruin your metabolism which will be harmful when you're older. If you want to lose weight do a good healthy diet and exercise like cardio to jumpstart losing weight.
If you do want to try a diet pill try Alli, it's FDA approved which is a good bonus but you'll need to practice good dieting practices like a low fat diet and exercise. Honestly my doctor said it isn't worth it but I don't know try it I guess.
Just avoid diet pills in general. Totally not worth it. Hope this helps you.
Okay, today me and my boyfriend were hanging out, just a regular day. We rotated his car tires outside and then went inside his house just to relax. (His house was empty). So he goes on his computer and checks this car website while I sit on a chair, I even grab a granola bar to munch on. So afterwards he approaches me and starts to kiss me intently. Obviously, he was looking for a hookup. Then, I push him back lightly because when ever we go to his house and it's empty, we ALWAYS have to hookup! I don't think that it's always necessary to hookup on these occasions but we always do. I mean he's not a hormonal-hookup-monster but I mean what kind of guy doesn't like them? Anyway, I told him no, and I also said, why is it that whenever we go to his house we always have to hookup. Can't we just talk, relax and maybe even watch some t.v for the period that were alone. I told him I don't want our relationship to be predictable and boring. Like for instance, whenever I go to his empty house I don't want us to have the mentality that we are going to hookup. I'm a kind of person that says, "If it happens, it happens". I don't want it to be predictable, you know? Anyway, we had a huge fight because he says I always do this but i don't, I did it once before and it was for the same reason. We resolved it before, but now it seems we are not getting anywhere on this matter. Anyway my question is how do I approach the matter to him and how do we come to an understanding on the matter that can make us both happy.
P.S: It's not that I don't want to hookup, I would have if I could. But I just don't think it will help our relationship. I don't want to get bored with him. I like him way to much to let our relationship to turn predictable and boring.
Sorry, it's kind of long. I have a lot to say.
I totally get where you are coming from. You want things to be spontaneous and fun, not dull and predictable to the point where you don't want to be in the relationship anymore. Let him cool off first though before talking to him. If you talk to him when he's hotheaded the message isn't going to get through to him. So wait awhile. When you do talk to him though try to be as honest as possible. Tell him that your relationship can't be merely physical, it needs to be emotional too. You want to spend time with him but you don't always want it just to be about hooking up. Just be honest and tell him it's not about hooking up but just the fact that you don't want the relationship to be just about that, because it wouldn't be a solid one. Also you need to tell him you like being spontaneous and that you think it'd be good if you guys would try new things together as a couple. Try telling him that predicatable is not your thing and it makes he somewhat less attractive in that sense. He needs to realize you want certain things out of the relationship besides hooking up. Even if you're the one who has to plan things, which I have a feeling you might have to, try it. Go bowling, to the movies, mini golfing, shopping, but get out of his house for a while to avoid the hooking up situation. Talk to him though it'll help.
Good luck, hope this helps, and message me if you want about anything further and about how things go. :)
Do long distance relationships work?
Or what are your views on them?
I'm not thinking of starting one, but a friend is and I was just wondering what others thought about them.
Long distance relationships are most likely doomed to fail. I don't understand how people try to even make it work. It's pointless since you honestly have no clue what the other person is doing where ever he or she is. And I'm not trying to be mean but eventually the whole relationship fire burns out. It's different if you spend time with the person face to face, than over the phone. I know some do work for awhile but like I said they just burn out. You eventually lose interest even if you say you wouldn't/won't.
Tell your friend not worth the trouble, patience and time. Hope this helps her. :)
i was reading an answer from a columnist and in there answer there like "Hey, thats exactly me, haha. Theres nothing that you can do to make your thighs smaller in a healthy way. Working out will just gain you muscle and make them even bigger. Just embrace them & love them because its what youve got and what God wanted to you have."
is that true??
- FYI: i didnt ask the question she answered though.
It's a toughie. It depends on how you work out. You can make your thighs smaller in a healthy way by burning fat with a diet and cardio. What she's talking about is sometimes doing squats and lunges will make you gain muscle if you do that. But it depends honestly. You need to do cardio and burn fat to lose weight in general. Just doing the squats and lunges will eventually led to muscle gain, but muslce burns fat so depending on the amount of fat, it will be burned and then maybe make you thighs look bigger with the muscle.
Hope this helps you. I know it's sort of confusing, oh well. :) If you need help understanding what I mean just message me.
Hi, I'm fourteen years old and I'm a girl. My brother is 15. His best friend Mike is 17 and we've always got along pretty well. I've been spending a lot of time with them lately and I'm starting to have strong feelings for him. I'm pretty sure he doesn't like me, but he flirts with me a lot. My brother knows I like him and he's fine with it. I'm just not really sure how to get Mike's attention. Like, how do i make him realize that I like him without being too forward? Sorry if this is long. Thanks in advance. I greatly appreciate it.
Well that wasn't long at all plus extremely common. Okay I'm guessing since you are mature for your age, that's why you and Mike get along well which is good. To have a guy notice you like him without being forward would just doing what you're doing. Flirt back and forth little and see how it goes. Most of the time guys usually pick up when a girl likes them so I think he'll realize it if you keep flirting. He might even like you too if he's flirt, that's a possibility. If you want something between you two to happen (after the flirting and such) try talking to him about it. Maybe something will flourish between you two, especially if your brother is totally okay with it.
Good luck, message with anything else, and I hope this helps you. :)
This is my third day of having 1200 calories or less. My basal metabolic rate (according to an online calculator) says that I need around 1475 calories for my body to perform normal functions.
How can I tell if i'm in starvation mode right now?
And if I'm not already now, how long will it take before I do go into it?
1200 calories isn't too far from 1475, so your body isn't going to go into starvation mode for a while. At least I don't think so. It'd go into starvation mode if you ate like 600 calories a day and that was it. You know you're body is going into starvation if you get seriously bad hunger pains. Try to keep eating the 1200 calories to avoid starvation mode. If you do that you'll metabolism will go into whack which isn't good.
Hope this helps you.
My boyfriend has been a jerk lately.. You see, I barely get to see him and we talk mostly on the phone for about a good 15min a day.. Which kinda bothers me a bit because I wish to see him more often, but he has work and when he does have a break.. he'd rather hang out with his own friends first.. then when it gets to me, he'll tell me he's too tired to hang out.. I let this go for awhile, but now it's just getting to me.. 2 days ago I called and asked him if he wanted to go see a movie and what do I get? A "I don't want to hang out with you.." Me being usually cheery when I talk, my voice lowered in an instance and I just kept quiet for awhile.. He then asks why I'm upset, ...HA! like he doesn't know.. Then he starts saying, "If you're going to cry, I don't want to hear it. I'd rather hang out with my friends and I'm telling you in the nicest way, I DO NOT want to hang out OK?" My heart sank.. It's the first time he's ever said that.. Like that.. And of course, the tears came out and I had the sniffles and guess what happens? He tells me to call him back when I'm done crying.. I do call back, but this time I was pissed. I told him I never get to see him and if he even notices that.. Notices that I needed him.. And what a total jerk he's being.. All I get is a "Don't talk to me if you're going to be like this, you need to grow up." *click* ..so here I am today, wondering what to do. He hasn't called, so I guess it's my job to. But.. should I even bother with this? ..we've been going out for almost 2 years.. should I just throw all that away.. I don't know what to do.. I don't want to be alone.. Help please? :(
Okay what I'm about to say might hurt you and I don't mean to but he is a total jerk and is not worth you or your tears. I mean you've tried, look at what you wrote. If he doesn't want to try to be a good boyfriend, than what's the point of dating him? Any guy doing that it is not worth dating. Call him and just tell him it's done since he's so insensitive. It's going to be hard for you to cope, but you'll realize it was for the best. There are a million of guys out there, and hey some of them don't treat girls like how your boyfriend treated you. You'll realize you're better off without the boyfriend honestly. And don't get into a relationship that quickly even if you feel alone. You'll need some space and time for yourself and then move on. It'll be rough I know.
I seriously hope this helps and if you need message me about anything I'm here for you. I wish you the best. :)
i dont no what to do with my hair.
like whats a good shampoo
cuz my hair is like kinda greasy ew.
I like Victoria's Secret So Sexy shampoo and conditioner. Great smell, and hydrates and protects your hair from damage.
Hope this helps.
okay... so theres a guy i know. we were friends and talked frequently at school. i liked him and didnt tell anyone until recently. on the last day of school, a month ago, i told one of my friends that i would email a picture to them. then he was sitting nearby and said email a picture of me to me. i said well i dont have a picture of you. then he said well take one, so i did. then a minute later i forgot that i didnt have his email. so he gave it to me. then i emailed the picture to him a couple days later. my friends boyfriend is like his best friend and he thinks this guy, lets sat joe, likes me, but he wont admit. i told my friend that i liked him. but i dont know if he really likes me or not, because he wont admit it to his friend.
From general experience with situations like these, guys never admit how they truly feel about a girl just for the simple fact that they think they'll be ridiculed. Even if it's to their bestest friend ever. (Maybe not be all guys though). Most guys think that they have to live up to this expectation of being cool and not caring about girls since it's depicted in general pop culture that guys should never really care. (Observation but general thought) So that may be why he never admitted it to his friend. When all else fails ask the guy. He'll apperciate it if he's shy and probably think more of you. If you're nervous to approach him, which I think I'd be, just go up to him and ask him bluntly. The worse he can do is say no.
I hope this helps and good luck. Message if you need anything else. :)
Whats the best body scrub and lotion that will make my skin silky smooth.
Bath and Body Works has a ton of scrubs and lotions. They have this one lotion and body scrub combo that you can get in various scents. It's called Breathe. Roughly all under 20 bucks.
Hope this helps.
one of my best guy friends, we'll call him joe, is really pissed off at me right now and i dont know what to do about it. we got in a fight over something really stupid, and i apologized over and over and said what i did was wrong and we should just forget about it (even though it was really dumb) but he's just really mad. he was acting like we're never gonna be friends again and he's never gonna not be mad. he even took me off his to 24 or whatever. should i let him cool off? for how long? and how should i approach him about this? why is he doing this ? ahhh help
Don't worry about it and let him cool off for a few days. For the most part boys are so headstrong it's not even funny. It's like they think they can do whatever they want for the most part to make you feel inferior. (Some boys are completely the opposite) It's like they're thinking they are somewhat invincable to anyone's feelings. Honestly he'll probably just stop being mad too after a few days and might realize he was being childish. Chances of this are slim unless he's extremely mature, which from what you wrote, doesn't seem that way. To be honest just in a few days call him and say you're sorry again you didn't think he'd react that way, and you're really hurt by how he acted (even if you're not, it'll probably make him feel guilty). Just give him some time.
Good luck and I hope this helps you. If anything leave me a message on how things went if you want and if you need extra advice. :)
Well, i go too high school. At high school we have populars and well geeks and i really, really hate this! No one has the right to tell you who you are or name you.
Populars think they can boss me about for example 'get out of this room', 'go away, you can't hang around here'. Am really fed up i just want to answer back but then everyone will hate me, and my friends are scared because they don't want to be hated, and everyone eles sucks up to them.
i would really like to know how can i stuck up for my self without being hated by people.
Eleanor Roosevelt once said "Do what you feel in your heart to be right- for you'll be criticized anyway. You'll be damned if you do, and damned if you don't." That quote totally relates to your situation. It doesn't matter in this case what you do since obviously you'll be criticized for every action you make.
Honestly what I'd do is just not brush this off and let it go. If they go to say something to you like "get out of this room" say something back to them like "why should I get out of this room? I have my right to stay here and do as I please." Might seem silly, I know but stand your ground. If they say something which will somehow contradict who you are as a person, call them on it. They say, "go away, you can't hang out here" you should say "why should we all just stop doing what we want to do and revolve our lives around your happiness? Why can't you realize that you're just like the rest of us and in 10 year none of this will matter."
Truly not one bit of what's going on will matter when you're older. Keep remembering that. The best advice I can give is just to stand your ground. You'll be damned if you do say something since people will judge, and damned if you don't since the populars will keep at it. When you stick up for yourself do it in a sense that they won't know what else to say to you. Especially if you make honest mature points, guarenteed they won't know what to say.
Good luck, and I hope this helps you. If you want contact me about anything else. I hope everything goes well for you since bullying is such an immature thing. It's truly the most pathetic part of high school.
don't get me wrong, i'm not fat- i'm actually skinny, but I want my legs to tone up& get ab's, so I am now doing crunches, jogging, pilates, yoga- ect, what are some ways I can eat healthy, like name some foods that are good for you. :) thanks.
I rate accordingly.
Well I'm a huge huge fan of Kashi foods. For a cereal try their Kashi Go Lean Crunch with blueberries and some skim milk. Totally good anytime of day. They also have a lot of various items like cookies, waffles, and nutrition bars which are extremely health for you full of protein and fiber. Dannon Light and Fit yogurt is extremely good too, and is only 40-65 calories depending on the size and type of flavor you get. Silk soy milk is good if you want to try that. It comes in chocolate and vanilla and is good for protein and calcium.
Another thing I'm doing is not eating a lot of red meat which seems to be helping. Eat it once in a while like maybe once every week. Fish is good for you and so is chicken and turkey. There are different companies which make chicken and turkey burgers if you like those. Mixed nuts for protein is a good way too go.
Fruits and veggies obviously are a good choice. Eat a lot of berries since they are packed with a ton of antioxidants. Blueberries are the best and than blackberries. Bananas and apples are good for you too, and you can have those with peanut butter for protein. (You can do peanut butter with apples, bananas or celery throughout the day as a snack if you wanted to keep your metabolism up.) Salads are good as everyone knows too. For salads I use the Wishbone Salad Spritzers, they have a ton of flavors like Italian, French, Raspberry Vinaigrette, Balsamic Vinaigrette, among a bunch of others. And all of them are like 10 calories for 10 sprays, which is a total God send.
100 calorie packs are great too, but sometimes I eat nutrtition bars like Luna and Pria bars. They're great if you can't really eat breakfast or want that as a snack. Plus many old items like Jello and Jello pudding are hopping on the sugar free bandwagon making those desserts less caloric. (Pudding has 60 calories and jello has I think 10) You can put fat free cool whip on those too, or even on fruit to enjoy for flavor.
Don't be one of those people who swear of carbs. Many bread companies are making smaller servings of bread slices, which helps you get some grains and fiber into your diet. Plus rice is good for you. There's also something called couscous. If you don't know it, it's an alternative to rice but a lot better for you.
Take a multivitamin daily, and drink plenty of water. It'll help clean your system out of toxins. And please don't eat a lot of salty foods, check the labels to see if they contain a lot of salt. You'd be surprised at what contains salt. Salt makes you bloated and retains water which is exactly what you don't want.
Basically there are a lot of things out there which can help you lose weight and tone up. I listed a ton of stuff I know and I'm sorry if it's long. Just limit portions and make smart healthy choices. It'll make a difference in how you feel. Someone said you are what you eat and it's totally true.
Good luck and I hope this helps you. If anything contact me if you have any questions at all. :)
okay well there is this guy i like and i dont know if he likes me and i am not supposed to like himm cause he is off limits cause my best friend likes him but you cant help who you like........ okay well right now i am near the guy and there is a girl there flirting her head off and i pretty much want to kick her ass. is there any way to stop myself? i know he is not mine and i am usuallly never jealous but this girl came at the wrong time. any ideas??? thanks!
You're going to get jealous anyway no matter what since you like him. You shouldn't be jealous but are just for that fact. Honestly it's a phase. I've had a lot of those I like him and my friend likes him, and usually they all end up the same, you find someone else to have a crush on. Just think of it as a phase and nothing more. Especially if your friend also likes him. It's not worth getting in a fight with her over a guy. There are so many friendships ruined over that.
Let it go and realize that there are plenty more guys in this world, and that he's not the only one. You'll eventually move on and laugh about even liking him or getting jealous. Trust me.
Good luck and I hope this helps. :)
Me and my boyfriend have been going out for 7 months and the other day on the phone, randomly he goes, i wish i could see you, and hug you every second of the day.
is that sweet or just plain weird?
THANKSOMUCH!
Please that's just adorably sweet. Totally not weird at all. If only there were more guys like that in the world.
how do you lose stomach fat?
I'm letting you know now, stomach fat is probably the hardest place to lose fat. Like many commericals say it's stubborn. Burning the fat off is going to be your best bet. To burn fat you're going to need a good diet and a good cardio regimen.
Diet is key in losing stomach fat. Try a diet with a good amount of diary, protein, whole grains/fiber, fruits and veggies. Eating things like these will help you lose weight by boosting up your metabolism, which will burn the fat.
Secondly, exercise is key. One way to lose stomach fat (which I've done in the past) is to start walking and/or jogging. The cardio will most defintely help you lose the fat since it burns calories. You might hit a plateau (a phase where your body adapts to your workout routine) so you'll want to increase your work out by 10%. Say you do 30 minutes a day usually, you'll need to do maybe 33 minutes, so on and so forth. After you lose some of the stomach fat you'll want to do crunches afterwards to build up your stomach muscles since muscle burns fat.
You'll notice results from the cardio and the diet in 2 weeks in your stomach. It's going to be rough and all but stay on the diet and do the cardio. It'll be beneficial since you will see the results. Keep at it too. After you lose the stomach fat you'll want to do crunches afterwards to build up your stomach muscles.
Just keep at it and good luck. I hope this helps you. Contact me if you want for anything else. :)
is this a healthy diet ?
i heard it takes 5 days to lose 10 pounds
and 10 days to lose 20 pounds
is this true ?
Nope not healthy at all. Don't even try it. The most healthy weight loss in losing 1-2 pounds per week. Sometimes you can go a little more than that but roughly stay in that range. Anything promising you 10 pounds in 5 days and 20 pounds in 10 days is totally fake. Don't waste your money and lose weight with a healthy diet and exercise.
Hope this helps. :)
okay, so i want to loose 20lbs before school starts. i'm not really as fat as i was in the beginning of the year (168). i'm now 142lbs.
my plan for loosing this weight is:
Breakfast- Oatmeal, Bannana, OJ, Multivitamin
OR MiniWeats, AppleSauce, OJ, Multivitamin
Lunch- Garden Salad w/ ranch dressing.
OR "Chicken" Nuggests (they're really sweet corn and mozzerella cheese).
Dinner- Pasta with Sauce
OR Brocolli with Rice and Cheddar Cheese.
Snacks- Strawberries, Watermelon, any Fruit, Peanutts.
(this is a vegetarian Diet)
Workout Plan 3-4x a week:
Aerobics for 40 minutes - Running, Walking, Biking, etc.
Pushups and Situps - at least 60 each.
so thats my plan for the summer. is there anything i need to add to my diet? Please help me. i really want to loose these pounds.
any tips would be appreciated as well.
thank you and sorry if i asked this question before :)
The diet looks pretty good, but you might want to add more protein. I would add some almonds, walnuts to bring up the protein count. Soy milk is also a really really good source of protein (in every glass Silk Soy Milk has 5g of protein). I know you'll be eating cheddar cheese for diary but you might want t oadd into your snacks Dannon Light and Fit yogurt. There's a smaller size that's 40 calories that comes in a pack of 8, or you can get the ones that are 60 calories. They'll help you get the calcium you need with the multivitamin and the cheese. Also I recommend Kashi products for fiber. You're not going to realize it but eating fiber with Kashi products is going to really help you lose weight. I'm a fan of nutrition bars to for 110 calories like Pria bars for a snack. One of the Pria bars comes in a mint chocolate flavor, so at any part of your diet you're craving for chocolate (which I've done in the past) go for those since it'll have added benefits and won't be a total diet sin.
The work out plan looks good too, try doing some weights like bicep curls and tricep curls for your arms, squats and lunges with the crunches and pushups. It'll help you since muscle burns fat.
Also, Self magazine's website has great items for you to look at, like work out plans and dieting advice if you want to look at that.
If you need any other help contact me if you want. I'm on a diet too, so if you need support feel free to contact me. Other than that good luck and I hope this helps you. :) (And congrats on your success so far)
so i just started workin out after 2 years of being a couch potato and ive been doing 60 squats a day. i thought they were supposed to tone up your butt & thighs but its my calves that are killing me. am i doing somethin wrong?
Squats are probably one of the exercises that you don't realize works out a lot of body parts. It's normal that your calves are feeling it, from the way your stance is while you do the squats. Squats always work out your butt, thighs and calves so it's normal, and don't get discouraged. You'll probably start to feel it in your butt and thighs soon so don't get discouraged. You'll see results in your thighs and butt and even in your calves in no time!
Congrats on the working out and good luck with it! I hope this helps you. :)