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I had a fight with my boyfriend.
Okay, today me and my boyfriend were hanging out, just a regular day. We rotated his car tires outside and then went inside his house just to relax. (His house was empty). So he goes on his computer and checks this car website while I sit on a chair, I even grab a granola bar to munch on. So afterwards he approaches me and starts to kiss me intently. Obviously, he was looking for a hookup. Then, I push him back lightly because when ever we go to his house and it's empty, we ALWAYS have to hookup! I don't think that it's always necessary to hookup on these occasions but we always do. I mean he's not a hormonal-hookup-monster but I mean what kind of guy doesn't like them? Anyway, I told him no, and I also said, why is it that whenever we go to his house we always have to hookup. Can't we just talk, relax and maybe even watch some t.v for the period that were alone. I told him I don't want our relationship to be predictable and boring. Like for instance, whenever I go to his empty house I don't want us to have the mentality that we are going to hookup. I'm a kind of person that says, "If it happens, it happens". I don't want it to be predictable, you know? Anyway, we had a huge fight because he says I always do this but i don't, I did it once before and it was for the same reason. We resolved it before, but now it seems we are not getting anywhere on this matter. Anyway my question is how do I approach the matter to him and how do we come to an understanding on the matter that can make us both happy.
P.S: It's not that I don't want to hookup, I would have if I could. But I just don't think it will help our relationship. I don't want to get bored with him. I like him way to much to let our relationship to turn predictable and boring.
Sorry, it's kind of long. I have a lot to say.
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I totally get where you are coming from. You want things to be spontaneous and fun, not dull and predictable to the point where you don't want to be in the relationship anymore. Let him cool off first though before talking to him. If you talk to him when he's hotheaded the message isn't going to get through to him. So wait awhile. When you do talk to him though try to be as honest as possible. Tell him that your relationship can't be merely physical, it needs to be emotional too. You want to spend time with him but you don't always want it just to be about hooking up. Just be honest and tell him it's not about hooking up but just the fact that you don't want the relationship to be just about that, because it wouldn't be a solid one. Also you need to tell him you like being spontaneous and that you think it'd be good if you guys would try new things together as a couple. Try telling him that predicatable is not your thing and it makes he somewhat less attractive in that sense. He needs to realize you want certain things out of the relationship besides hooking up. Even if you're the one who has to plan things, which I have a feeling you might have to, try it. Go bowling, to the movies, mini golfing, shopping, but get out of his house for a while to avoid the hooking up situation. Talk to him though it'll help.
Good luck, hope this helps, and message me if you want about anything further and about how things go. :)
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Where else do you and him have sex?
He is looking at it like this, There probably isnt anywhere that you could just hook up like yall can at his house. So he is taking it for granted. If you know he is going to be home alone, try avoiding the visit so he will know your serious.
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First, you should know that if you ever hook up with your boyfriend when you don't want to, you're going to associate him with making you do things you don't want to do. Once you realize someone is forcing you to do something you don't want to do, no matter how small of a deal it is, it always blows up into a huge deal. My advice: just say NO and mean it.
You mentioned that you've had this discussion with him before but it continues to happen. So there must have been a time or two (maybe more) when you gave into him when you really didn't want to. If that's the case, my advice is to stop it completely. Stick up for yourself and tell him that you're willing to compromise on some things, but not when it comes to something as important as this.
Your boyfriend doesn't seem to take into consideration that there are other things you'd rather be doing with him sometimes. That's a problem, and if you don't resolve the problem now, it'll turn into an even bigger problem later on. You need to gain control of the situation now. He's like a puppy who'll pee anywhere any chance he gets. You have to train him or it won't stop.
There's going to come a time when you realize that his happiness shouldn't mean that you have to be unhappy. You two have to talk it out, and you have to be completely honest with him about how you feel. He needs to realize that the less he pressures you, the more you'll want to be with him. And the truth is, the more he pressures you, the less you're going to want to hook up.
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ok maybe tell him its to predictable excitement is good but dont nag no man wants a nagging women.
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