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I am a caring, understanding, respectful, honest, friendly person and I can be a good friend to who ever needs one.If you have a problem I will do my best to help you get through what ever it is that you are having a problem with. Because giving advice is one of the things that I am good at.

advice

Ok, here is my situaton. I am a 14/f and in 9th grade. Well, i take a foods (cooking) class and there is this guy AJ who is in my group. Well the other day Garth, also in my group, asked me who I was going to the X-mas dance with and I said no one and that I wasnt even sure I was going. Well, AJ, an 11th grader said he was doing the same thing. He then asked me if i wanted to go with him. He said he would pay for it (It is $35 to go as a couple)and he would pick me up. He also said that he wouldnt ditch me for someone else at the dance b/c I was his date. Well, AJ is a really nice guy but he isnt the most attractive guy if you know what I mean. Also, he is really immature...he acts like a lil kid a lot. Anyway, he said he didnt want to go as boyfriend/girlfriend. Just so he'd have a date. So now, I dont know if he wants go with me b/c he wants to or because he wants a date. I don't know what to do! I dont know if i should tell him yes or try and find another date. My friend Kayla said she was going to ask her friend Bunion if he would go with me. But she said that if he didnt want to go then to go with AJ and then ditch him at the dance just so he can pay and so i'll have a ride. I don't want to do that but maybe i should? I dont know. I dont want to hurt him but i want to go. I told her i wasnt going to go if i didnt have a date b/c I didnt want to pay $20 to go by myself.

Should I go with AJ or find another date? Im confused about what to do! Please help

HEC

This is a tough one did you want someone to go with you just to call a date and then go your separate ways or do you want a date the whole night because you really didn't say? But you should think about one thing if you do decide to go with A.J you shouldn't ditch him at the dance just because he doesn't want to go as boyfriend and girlfriend. I mean what is wrong going to the dance as friends? Besides he said that he would pay for the dance and also give you a ride. But if you prefer to go with someone as boyfriend and girlfriend then you should find someone else.

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ok well.. i am going out with this guy... hes really great... we have had a few problems but we are totally awesome now... so ne way... we have been going out for a little while now and i really really like him... we have gone pretty far and are started thinking about have sex... we have always talked about it even before we were together and i kind of want to but i am afriad of regret.... i hate regreting things and im worried that if we have sex i will regret it... the thing is, before we did everything we have i thought i would regret it but i totally dont... is it just a 'virgin thing'?? i trust him completely... im just scared im to young (14) although (and i swear im not bragging) i am way more mature than the 'average' 14 year old... (if it makes a difference he's 16) i guess im asking all those 'non-virgins' out there... do you regret it? and do you wish you had waited? what do you think i should do? please answer!!!
...claire

You are just fourteen well don't you think that you should wait until you are older and really sure that way you won't have any regrets and besides you might meet someone else that may be the one. So why don't you think about it if you do it and then you meet another guy don't you thing that you would have some regrets if you give it to the wrong guy. Because you said it so yourself you have had problems and you don't know you might have some after you do it. I hope that I helped you but if not you can visit me at my website.

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14/m there is this girl who i kinda like. the problem is that she is out of my league. she is in all honors classes and im only in honors math and we're not in the same class. there is also this other guy that likes her (a friend of mine) and he has a better chance at going out with her than me cuz they are closer than she is with me. how can i get close to girls, so i'll have a better chance with them than other guys?

First of all if you want to get close to girls you should try to talk to them like you would talk to anyone else. That way there isn't any pressure of how you should talk to them. The main thing is to just be your self so that way they will like the real you and know what kind of a person that you are.I hope that I helped you some what but if not you can visit me at my advice column.

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My friend's dad smokes. She is afraid he will die! She says that he has been coughing really bad latly. She says he is trying to stop smoking, but not really suceeding. She says that he is the one who brings all the money to the family, and shes just very afraid. She is afraid he will die from cancer or something. So basically, i need some advice in helping her through these hard times, and maybe if theres a good way to help her dad smoking. Thank you!

I think that first she should have a talk with her dad so that way he will know how his daughter feels about him smoking and while she is talking to him she should bring up that she really cares about him and doesn't want him to end up getting cancer or something like that cause she would like it if he was around for along time.

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Hey, theres this girl in my pe class and I think she might like me. Well, I kinda like her too though. She acts kinda like it and gives me hugs sometimes and stuff and jokes around with me and stuff, and she seems like she always brings the topic of Homecomming up to her friend, lets call her Jenny. Anyways so she always says to Jenny that sits next to her when we sit on numbers for role call that she needs a date for Homecomming. But... I'm kinda scared to ask her to Homecomming because I don't know what to do.. I mean I know you go out to dinner and stuff and the guy drives the girl... but I don't have a car yet do I have my dad or mom drive us to the restaurant and then to the dance? I know to get her flowers or a corsage... ugh I don't know what to do! Someone tell me what to do about this and what should I get her and pretty much walk me thru the date! I mean like I could go with my friends or her friends because she says to her friend that all her friends are going to this fancy restauraunt with their dates and she wont get to go unless she has a date... so who drives and stuff? What do I do.... Help, I'm 14/m.
Sorry if this was a little long.

First you should ask her to the dance because it is pretty obvious that she wants you to ask her. You don't have to be gf bf to do to one of those dances you know. Picking her up for the dance see if the two of you can get a ride with some other people that are going because not everyone has a car and besides it might take the pressure off if you go with a group. When you go to get her from her house compliment her girls like that. At the dance be polite to her you know like you are suppose to. After the dance you and the other can go out to eat some where and get to know each other better. When it comes to dropping her off be gentlemen like you know walk her to the door tell her that you had a nice time being with her give her a kiss on the check or mouth ( you decide ) and then tell her good night and you will see her in school. I hope that I help you but not you can stop by my column and I will try to help again.

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the other day, i got a thing on my advice column frum my friend sayin he liked me..this guy is my best friend..and so i told him i liked him..he asked me to homecoming..well now theres this big thing..cuz the grl he used to like..call her sue.. told bob she liked him..so hes gotta choose hoo he wunts to go to homecoming with..i realy like him and wunna go to homecoming with him but i think hes gunna pick her..hes told me he likes me but me and sue were talkin and she told me all the stuff they had been talkin bout..me and sue are really good friends now..we've always been friends..but not like now..i want him to choose me and stay friends with sue..wut do i do?!?!

You could tell Bob that you would really like to go to homecoming with him but if he decides to go with her it won't bother you because you just care about our friendship and that is more important then going to Homecoming.

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ok, fellow advicenators, help plz. ok, i like this guy let's just call him uhmmm Joey. ok Joey. and Joey is so much fun to be around. and everyone flirts with Joey, but Joey likes me. but when i tried to hook up with Joey he starts sayin all this about crap he wanna do with me. and im not a teenage whore. so i wanna know an easy way to let him know i'm not interested anymore. any ideas? 1x3 puppy

The next time he asks you if you want to go out with him you can tell him that you want to go out with him too but you are not a whore so don't espect you to do anything like that. That way he knows that you want to go out with him but you just don't want to do certain things with him. I hope that I helped.

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i know that i have been asking this question a lot but i really want to know all of the things that i can possibly do. So if you have any ideas please respond because this is a really weird situation!:there is this guy in my grade who used to like me but i always thought he was kind of a dork so i didn't talk to him that much and when i did i would just kind of joke around with him. anyway i figured out that i have really liked him all this time and what made me figure it out was that i found out that he is moving to Hong Kong in January! If i tell him that i like him now then im worried that he might not still like me and he might tell everyone that i like him. i was thinking that maybe i would tell him on his last day but then we'd never have a relationship...please help me because i need to know what to do!
~Jen

You could either tell him that you like him a few days before he has to move and see what he has to say. If he says that he likes you too then you can enjoy each others company as a couple for a while until he has to move. He says that he likes you too but only as friends then you guys can do some things as friends before he has to leave. One other thing don't forget if you turn out to be a couple or not you will always be friends. I hope that I help you.

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There are these two boys and I can see myself with both of them. The promblem is Derek is friends with my brother and goes to a diff high school than me, I've known him for about 6 months now. Damien goes to my school and we have a lot in common but I've only known him for a few weeks. I honestly don't know who to pick. They are both great guys. Also my brother is totally against me and Derek dating, Derek is like who cares he doesn't control me. please help

First you should ask your brother why he is against you and Derek. But if I were you I would choose Damien because you both go to the same school,you have alot of things in common, you don't have to worry about what your brother will say, and you can make sure that Damien doesn't cheat on you if he is that type. You really have to make the choice but I hope that I helped you if not you can stop by my column and I will try to help you once again.

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Alright my best friend and i used to fight a lot last year but we haven't fought in awhile. A few days ago, we went to a carnival and me and my other friend couldnt find her anywhere but finally we found the people she was with.I was all confused and asked them where she was and they started yelling at me for no reason telling me not to be mad! I wasn't mad at all and nothing was wrong but they were yelling at me for no reason and i tried to explain that to them but they just told me to shut up and kept yelling. I told my best friend what happened and she doesn't believe me! She says she doesnt trust me and shes positive that her other friends would never do that. I told her i would never ever lie to her, and i wouldn't, but she just said that i was making it up. I really really really dont wanna fight with her but we already are and if her other friends lie about what happened im afraid we'll never be friends again. I have a lot of other friends but she's my best friend and when shit like this happens it really really hurts. I have no idea what to do and please don't tell me to just wait till everything's forgotten, because i know thats not gonna work. Please help me..thank you so much and sorry it's so long.

The two of you are best friends that isn't right that she wouldn't want to believe you over her new friends. Her listening to them instead of you should tell you something that she isn't really a good friend after all. But it is sad that something like this could ruin a friendship. If you are lucky she might tell you that she is sorry for not believing you in the first place but if that doesn't happen think about what I told you. I hope that I helped you but if not stop by my column and I will try to help you once again.

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This is going to sound really lame. But here we go! Ok I like this guys and we were talking once and he said I was the only girl he wanted to go out with and that made my day cuz I really like him in all. (when we were talking it was yesterday) today at the pep rally I saw him with another girl and he looked like he was flurting with her. What should I do?

It sounds like the guy is a player if I were you I wouldn't put up with that. Next time you are holding hands with him or just talking to bring up if you are the only one that he wants to go out with then why is he flirting with other girls. But really it is up to you do you want to go out with a player because that isn't right what he is doing to you. So you need to find out what is going on with him one way or another or you will always wonder what kind of a guy he is but hopefully he isn't a player. I hope that I helped you.

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This has probably been asked soo much, but here goes..

There's these two guys, one, we'll call him Jim. & the other we'll call Bob. Well, i met Jim thru a mutual friend. And ever since i met him i thought he was soo hot, i got to know him, and have liked him ever since.. he's also said he's interested in me, but some other girls as well.. Where as Bob, well.. it's complicated. But i think i love him. i'm not IN love with him.. but i have liked him for soo long.. its almost crossed the 'like' line, you know? :S I went out with him in like.. grade 6 (i'm in the 10th grade now! :P) but it was just one of those middle school things, you know? So i've been good friends with Bob since i was 8, but have only known Jim for 6 months or so, and also i don't get to see him that often, because he doesn't go to my school. I like them both, but i think most of my feelings for Jim are because he's soo eye catching, as shallow as that sounds. And Bob, well like i said.. i love him, and we're so close, which is why i think we could have something great.. but i'm worried to ask him out, because i wouldnt want to screw up what we have now, and plus, i'm almost positive he doesn't feel the same way about me. I am soo lost. Please help. I'll rate good :)

I think that you should pick Bob because you have known him longer then Jim, you both are really close, he isn't the type that likes alot of girls at once like Jim, and you also said it your self you and Bob could have something great. About asking him out you can ask him out as a friend and then see what happens but if you would like to see if he likes you more then a friend you are going to have to give him some little hints that you would like to be more then friends and see what will happen.

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15/f god sometimes i hate myself. im really outgoing when im around my best friends and the people i've known my whole life. but when i meet new people i act all weird. tonight we had a football game and my new friend invited me to hang out with her friends. so when i first met them i was all cool and outgoing, but then we sat on the bleachers and i didnt say a word and they talked. the whole night i just sat there. cause i had nothing to say except random stuf. and everytime i talked they were like shocked to hear me actually say something. i seriously wanted to run away and die. now im afraid theyre gonna think im boring. i dont know what to do.........

Don't worry some people are like you. Me for example I am the kind of person who is shy when it comes to meeting new people but then after I get to know them more then I start to more open. For you all you have to do is the next time you are around those girls think of some things that you might have in common with them. If you don't think that you might have some things in common then just start asking them what they like just so you can get to know them better and that way you can also see what your friend saw in them.

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alright.. well im 14 and in 9th grade.. i just moved and started a new school and all.. and i made friends and all but i met this one guy that i really really like.. i sit with him at lunch everytime me and him have lunch together, he seems really nice and all but i think i like him more then a friend.. me and him are really starting to get close and im thinking about wanting to go to the homecoming dance with him, but i dont want to ask him i want him to ask me lol, well idk how i should like hint it out that i wana go with him, does anyone have any suggestions on how to hint this to him? i could really use the help :)

How about when you are just talking to him you bring up the homecoming dance and ask him if he is going to go and if he is then tell him that you would like to go but you don't have anyone to go with and maybe he will ask you if you want to go. But watch out because he might also say ok about we go together but as friends think about that too.

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This is like my third time askin a question bout my b.f but oh well we had a talk and for the week and weekend we werent goin to see each other b.c it was like a short break (but we didnt break up) Well its saturday and he hasnt called me since thursday. I mean i seen him in skool but now its the weekend and he hasnt called and i dont kno if its b.c he doesnt want to talk to me or b.c of the break we are taking. But i just called him and he wasnt there and im just thinkin of all kinda of places that he can be and im really upset.

Why don't you try to call him again tomorrow if he doesn't call you tonight. If the same thing happens that did before then wait until Monday to see what will happen. But he probably hasn't called you because the two of you are taking a little break and he doesn't know what to tell you. Hopefully you will get some answers on Monday for sure.

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i have a very close guy friend and we talk on the phone almost all the time. my parents dont want me to talk on the phone with this guy. they think friends can nd up having sex and doing bad things but my parents dont noe this guy he is really sweet and careing and my parents told me i can NEVER talk to him agian i tryed to argue my point and tell them he isnt like that and it is only talkin on the phone and nothing else will happen bc he isnt here(he moved to MD last year) i cant tell him that i cant talk to him anymore bc it is like when u talk to someone for a while and you dont wont to let go of them.i am starting to have strong feelings for him, but i dont noe what to do about my parents, i have tryed talkin to them but it hasnt seemed to help, in the end i hear I NEVER WANT TO HEAR U TALKIN TO THAT BOY AGIAN.i dont noe what to do can u plz help me. plz!! thatnk u and sry for it being so long.

You know it is true that it is their house and you have to follow their rules. But I have a way that you can both get your way first if he has an email address you can email him but if he doesn't you can write him. Just because your parents don't want you to talk to him doesn't mean that you can't still keep in touch him. Plus if you email him or write to him your parents won't get a bill. I hope that I helped you.

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whenever i liek guys i get sort of scared wen i talk to them and my whoel attitude changes around them how can i learn to act the same around him//..?

In order for you to act the same way around the guys you should try to get to know them better. That way you won't have anything to worry about when they come around because you will know how they are.

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Im 16 and madly in love with my boyfriend. We have been dating for over a year. The only thing is that he doesnt know that im in love with him. He does know that i care about him soo much.I have been wanting to tell him for the longest time that im in love wit him but i just dont know how. We can be jokin around and he will say sumthing and then i will say yea love ya to. and he just says you dont love me. His cuz even told me that he said he loved me but he wont tell me. I just want to kno how i can tell him b.c i want him to know. plz help!

Congratulations on being together that long. I think that the best way to tell your boyfriend that you love him is to wait when the two of you are alone and you are in his arms that would be the perfect time to do it. I hope I helped you.

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Hey, this guy told me how much he really liked me the other day and I turned him down because I wanted to be single but now he is goin out with my best friend and I changed my mind I think I'm jealous, but what should I do

You did have your chance and you turned him down. If he really did mean what he said then why is he with your best friend. Besides did your best friend know that you really liked that guy because if she did then why did she get together with him if she knew how you felt. One other thing if she didn't know how you felt then I think that you should tell her now so that way at least she knows where she stands with you and how you feel about them being together.But like I said you shouldn't have turned him down in the first place if you really liked him.

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my friend is still inlove with her ex who now has a new girlfriend and we all in job corp so we see eachother all day. She follows them around tries like hell to get them in-trouble and everything. How do i get her to stop. I have talk to her so many times and it NEVER works. But i need her because she is my friend and i'm pergnant now and i just need her with me, but i think she's going nuts. i'm always there for her it's just she's never there for me anymore.

You should talk to her again and tell her that you really need her right now because you need her to be there for you like you have always been there for her. As for her obsession with her ex boyfriend you should also tell her that if she continues to do what she is doing her ex might find out then he will no longer be her friend and she probably doens't want that to happen. I hope that I help you. If things don't work out you can tell me what happened in my inbox and I will try to help you again.

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