Just your average nice girl next door. Married the love of my life at 24, widowed at 29.
I love cats and sailing and get to the beach as often as I can.
Gender: Female
Age: 39
Member Since: January 7, 2005
Answers: 298
Last Update: July 17, 2006
Visitors: 23231
Main Categories:
Love Life
Friendship
Fashion and Styles
View All
|
| |
|
Alright, so I have this friend. Let's call her Diana. Whenever I tell Diana something that I am excited about she just brings me down. She'll tell me "Oh my god, no one cares" or "Does it really seem like I care?", stuff like that. Sometimes she will even hurt me physically also. She always flirts with all of the guys I used to like or even my boyfriend. Diana is very beautiful and she knows it. All of the guys adore here and such. Sometimes she can hurt my feelings so bad that I just want to cry. I really am not trying to be mean about this but how can I help get our friendship back on track? Sometimes when I tell her things I feel like she's jelous. Am I the one doing something wrong? Please help me, this is making me go through a lot of pain! Signed, Best Friend is hurting Me (link)
| |
As beautiful as Diana is, for some reason she is insecure and jealous. You do NOT need any 'friends' like this, because she is not a friend. Friends are caring and supportive - and would never ever put you down on a consistent basis. Even having a talk with her won't change her or the situation, or may even make it worse. I had a 'friend' like that and let her embarrass and hurt me for years! She even called and demanded to know what my problem was, because she wasn't asked to sit with me at my husbands funeral! That was the capper and I closed that chapter in my book.
|
I'm 15/M/TX & shes 13/F/FL
well... it starts out that I'm talking to my friend's cosin on AIM, & we where up talking all night... & so she fell in love with me, & I just liked her... but I knew it would never work... & so now, afew months later, where just friends, & she has a boyfriend now... but now, I'm acctuly in love with her... & I don't know what to do... & I was invited by my friend to come up there & stay a while (& I would meet his cosin), & I think I'm going to go... but I don't know what I would do, I would go out of state & put myself on the line for this girl I love, who has a boyfriend, & I have never met her, & I don't know what would happen... & her cosin seems to get really protective of her...
so, what I'm asking is... is it worth it? to go up there & risk so much? for a girl who is with someone else? but I love her?
just, what do you think?
thank you, & sorry its so confusing, theres more, but thats all you really need to know, its a very complicated situation
(link)
| |
Don't tell her how you feel ahead of time. Go for the visit and have a good time. You'll get to meet her in person (and this can be the deal breaker) and see for yourself. No matter how fabulous someone seems on IM or the phone there may not be the chemistry you need. If you are still crazy about her after meeting her in person, then go home and write her an honest message.... that you were scared before and that once you met her in person you knew you truly cared about her. If you keep your mouth shut until that point, it might just work!!! Girls like the chase or the 'bad boy' if you're all over her swearing undying love, she's gonna run.
|
|
Okay i know this happends to alot of girls but its happend to me all the time and i want it to stop and i want a guy to take me serusly.....all guys want from me is sex and blowjobs and i want it to stop and i want to have a good relationship with somebody but it just doesn't never happend. for instance my best friend has this brother and i went over there last week and we were getting in to it and i thought that i might acually have a chance and he just says"Don't tell anybody about his" and of corse i know that that means i mean i'm not that stupid but really what should i do.. and i dont' want to sound like a slut but every time a guy asks me for something i give it to them because i just want somebody to love me but there'll all just playing me and playing me........Will i ever find somebody that loves me for me? what should i do? (link)
| |
most girls will use their own body to show how that they care about someone. guys just want sex for the pleasure and that's about it. If you really want to find a special person to have in your life you need to take a couple steps back and not be fooling around with anyone at all. I would be completely horrified if i fooled around with someone and then they said 'don't tell anyone' I'm so sorry that someone treated you that way.
|
so my boyfreind asked me out.
and now basicly all he wants from me is sex.
it makes me really sad and dissapointed...
please help.
and dont say break up with him.
you guys dont know me.
i like him alot..
i rate (link)
| |
He likes you enough to have sex with you. If you want more than that you have to find someone that likes you for you and respects you a whole lot more than that.
|
A guy that I'm quite good friends with invited me over to his house. We are both adults over 25. We were both watching Dr. Phil on the television. I remembered this one show a long time ago where these young teens were having oral sex parties and thought it was no big deal. Dr. Phil got mad and told them that oral sex was still considered sex because it involved a sex organ. (I agreed with him by the way) I imitated his voice and said in a Dr. Phil tone "but it IS sex because it involves a SEX ORGAN!!".
All my other friends when I told them this burst out laughing because I totally sounded like Dr. Phil. Well after I did this I looked at my friend and he looked really uncomfortable and didnt say anything at all so I changed the subject. I figured we were pretty close and could talk about just about anything. We've talked about blow jobs before.
Do you thing this might mean his feelings towards me have changed from liking me as a friend to something more? Why else would he react this way? (link)
| |
Sometimes guys don't like it when girls speak so bluntly. He might like you, but was surprised to hear you not acting like a lady.
|
I have been involved with a guy for over 2 years. We have a near perfect relationship. He is my best friend and the person I know God sent to me to spend the rest of my life with. My boyfriend says he feels the same way. We recently graduated from college and were lucky enough to have found jobs in the same city. We have been living together for over eight months and especially the last three months, we couldn't be happier. I now find myself constantly thinking about marriage and looking at dresses and engagement rings. Is that normal?
He says that he is ready to marry me but he doesn't want to spend the money it cost to buy me an engagement ring. The ring that I have chosen cost $3000 and he claims that is too much to spend on a ring. I told him that I don't care how much he pays for a ring as long as he puts a lot of thought in the ring he chooses. Lately, he constantly reminds me of the $3000 ring and makes me feel as if it is my fault that engagement rings are so expensive. What should I do or say to him to convince him that I just want a nice ring? Also, what can I do to convince him that this is not a time to be a cheap-skate and that a decent ring will cost over $1000? (link)
| |
An acceptable and practiced way to do this is for him to go to the jewelry store and have them put out a selection of several rings that are in his price range. Then he brings you in and lets you choose.
|
|
I am a married man who a few months ago was asked to go to lunch by a female coworker. She's 23 and I am 36 and she has a boyfriend and if it means anything we are both considered very attractive. I initially didn't take her up on her offer, but then agreed after she asked me a few other times. We went to lunch and we talked about work and stuff and she paid. Well this is now a regular occurrence and she now brings up things besides work, like sex with her boyfriend and when and how they do it. She also just recently asked me to go play tennis with her after work. Needless to say, I think we're becoming close friends. I'm just not sure what her intentions are if any. What's even more confusing is that a bunch of us went out to the bar the other night and she didn't even talk to me, spending most of her time talking to another male coworker. I would think that if we were friends she's act normal around me and talk to me in an outside work setting. But it's almost like she was afraid something may happen. I guess my question to you is am I just a victim of different generations? Is it normal for a twenty something female to hang out with a coworker, talk about sex, ask him to do extracurricular activities, and not want to be with him on a more intimate level? I'm thinking I should nip this in the bud before we do something we both will regret. (link)
| |
It's normal for a 23 yr old girl to play head games and that's exactly what you're getting. She's flirting with you and getting you to hang out with her and I guarantee you she laughs about it when she's with her other girlfriends. Sorry to be so blunt, but any 23 yr old looking at a 36 yr old guy is thinking that you are entertaining, but old.
|
Me and my best friend,kay have been friends for 4 years and were totally close. Around Christmas, birthdays, or special occasions i tend to get big gifts. Like on time i bought her a green flower necklace ($20) and earrings ($10). At christmas i gave her a adult make up kit ($30) and her birthday this year i got her the black eyed peas cd (monkey business)($14), a unique black shimmering purse ($50), green 7up label shirt ($6) and a black shimmering belt($3) to go with the black purse. Then for her last year birthday i got her Nordstrom pajamas ($20-$30)and a piggy bank with her name panited on it ($40). Is that too much? But thats how i share my love for her. That's just the way i am i go a little over, but there neccessary. I hate if someone else got the gift i wanted to give her before me or i see something perfect and i don't get it. I don't really look at the cost that much. Everything i gave she liked because of her personality and the way she favored them. When she buys my gifts she feel there like 5 levels under mine. She doesn't have the money like my parents do, but i love and cherrish whatever she gives me. I love everything she gives me even if it was a damn peanut. I just the thought of her thinking about me. She wants me to tone it down. It will kill me! My mom even thought to give her a coach purse ($198- $300). I said no that's no what she would like that's something i would lik so. This is just the way i amd and my family we go overboard. Basically we go to the best stores for the gifts we know won't fall apart. I never had anyone complain about me giving them too much. She always talks about the cost all the time like a she's an adult and it gets annoying and takes the fun out of a few things. What should i do should i ddown size or just stay me? HELP ME (i rate high*)!!!!!!!!
(link)
|
You sound very sweet and thoughtful and I'm sure your friend loves you. But when she can't reciprocate and has mentioned that she feels badly about this you need to tone it down. It's not that you are doing anything wrong, but it bothers her on the inside.
Buy her one special reasonable present... like a $25 shirt you know she loves. Then do something together like cooking something special and watching a holiday movie. I bet spending time together is more meaningful for both of you.
|
|
So basically I told my bf that I feel like Im not good enough looking for him and how i feel like nobody could be attracted to me. *this was all an online convo* and i asked "know what i mean?" and he said yeah..then made some excuse that he had to go do his hw. This gets wheels turning in my head..if im not attractive to him, how can this last?? :( help me (link)
| |
Hon... don't tell him you feel unattractive and don't ask his opinion! That's conversation to have with your closest girlfriends so they can boost your ego. Your boyfriend feels put on the spot and like your fishing for a compliment. He already likes you and I'm sure he wants to be with a confident, happy chick. So be your happy, confident best whenever you are talking to him!
|
|
i have a school dance on saturday..i have to dresses ..one i like (its black with sprakels)and the other my frinds like (its black with pink ruffels and flowers)..i feel like i look better and i feel more comfortable in the one i like..but my friends' favorite is more party..my crush will be there which one should i chose? (link)
| |
Definitely wear the one you are more comfortable in. You'll be nervous enough with your crush there and you don't want to be fussing over the other dress and looking dorky. :)
|
i asked my ex bf if he loves his gf more and if they have a better relationship than him and i did.
his response was "nah, i feel like shes my best friend."
What does that mean?
He NEVER called/considered me his best friend!
She gave it up on the 2nd night they hung out(cheated on her bf)
(link)
|
First - you shouldn't be asking him that. That is his business and you don't have a secret special relationship with him anymore. He gave you that answer so he wouldn't hurt your feelings. So don't put him on the spot like that... if you truly value his friendship... that's not fair.
...You didn't say she was also an "ex" girlfriend. With guys you never ask stuff like that - it just puts them on the spot. Give it a few more years and you'll see that I'm right on this one. I promise.
lastly... YOU asked for honest advice, just because you didn't like it, doesn't mean it's wrong. Good luck with this dude.
PS... So how's the wonderful guy????
|
|
So i have been going out with my boyfriend for about a month and a half and it seems like recently things have been a little dull..any ideas and how to spice things up in the relaltionship and make things more exciting? (link)
| |
Try something new... go on a hike, a picnic, go ice skating, bake a cake or look up a recipe and cook together.
|
|
There's this girl that I hang out with all the time. I've liked her for a while. Normally, we'd just talk about school and stuff like that, but lately, she goes to different subjects. She talks to me about how other guys keep coming on to her, and how she doesn't like most of those guys. She tried to call me and get me to go to her backyard at like 10 at night the other day. Also, whenever I'm with some of my other friends, who are girls, she gives me this really evil look. She used to do that to a guy she had a crush on before, so I don't know if that means anything. She's usually a pretty flirty person, but not to me, at least she didn't used to be. I just want to be know if you think she likes me, because I've screwed up signals before. (link)
| |
Yep, she likes you BUT this sounds like the kind of girl you need to be wary of.... if you're just friends now and she's throwing evil looks when you talk to other girl -friends just imagine how she's gonna be when you're going steady and you want to talk with other friends. Even worse...think how she's gonna be when you two break up. Just letting you know that all girls have the 'psycho' gene, some just know where to draw the line... she doesn't sound like one of them. And you don't need a stalker either.
|
|
Okay, im only 14 and i wanna have a baby SO bad. My parents dont really love me((ive been told)) so i think this would help me alot. i've babysat for YEARS and LOVE children. I wanna feel loved when i come home and a baby would do that, and i think teen moms are closer to their kids. I plan on gettin pregnant in 10th or 11th grade.Am i making a mistake by wanting to do this. (link)
| |
Huge mistake! Keep babysitting and enjoying other people's kids and enjoy being a kid yourself. I'm 40, never had kids because my husband passed away when I was 29 and have never been in the right situation nor am I dying to have any. But my boyfriend and I got an 8 week old puppy about 5 weeks ago - and I'm exhausted just trying to raise a dog! Don't do it honey... wait until you're older. You might think teen parents are closer to their children and that's because they end up with a "buddy" and they need a "parent".
|
ok so this guy i like and i are really mean to eachother.. i know thats a way of flirting but i mean REALLY mean to me. he tells me he wants me to die and stuff like that in front of his friends but when hes only with me hes nice.. i dont know why i like him, and i have tried to be nicer but nothing works..
aaahhh what should i do!?! (link)
| |
Don't talk to him anymore! If that's how he treats you in front of people it could only get worse. If you ignore him for a while... just keep saying you're busy... then when he does finally really want to talk you can tell him that at first it was kinda funny/cute when he was mean, but it got old real quick and either he likes you and will be nice all the time or adios.
|
Okay, so I've been talking to this guy for awhile. Lemme point out the majority of my friends are guys. I just like them better - they're easier to get along with.
So this guy is kind of a jerk, but he's not really mean. He just like, teases and makes fun of me a lot. I was talking to him the other night, and I said something about talking to much and joked about him "probably want[ing] to duct tape my mouth and hands" (we were talking on line) and he said "you know, I might just have to take you up on that," and we went into a whole conversation about like, tying me up and he made it like, really sexual.
Then last night I was talking to him and I asked him what he wanted (I meant out of life) but he turned it into a discussion about what we wanted in relationships, and then he asked why I was so curious/interested, and I answered honestly first, saying it was "just something to talk about, and gets me into your head a little." and then said (obviously sarcastic) no, it's because I want you. And he thinks I seriously like him! I can't convince him otherwise, and I totally don't. I mean, I like him as a friend, but that's honestly it.
I don't want him to go around thinking I like him when I don't. So how do I fix this situation? I've tried talking to him about it and calmly explaining that I really, honestly don't like him like that and that I was totally kidding, and he said something like "You can lie to me but you can't lie to yourself."
Yeah, he's kinda arrogant. But like...what would you do?
It almost sounds to me like he likes me, but he specifically said he didn't.
So I ask you, what the heck? (link)
| |
If you really want him to get the message that you don't like him that way, then you need to distance yourself. By getting into the flirty conversation he thinks you are interested. By distancing yourself, I mean, don't have flirty conversations, say Hi, then say oh I have to go and just blow him off for a few weeks because you're so busy. then if you start sorta talking again, treat him like a friend and tell him about the guys you are interested in. Hopefully he'll get the message and knock it off. Sorry to be so direct, but when you let him into that sexual conversation you totally opened the door.
|
|
Ok..i love when guys play hard to get with me. Its just a turn on and everytime and guy does it..i like him even more. Well i used to like this one guy and he immediatly asked me out after he found out i liked him. That scared me and turned me off and i didnt like him nemore. Has this happened to anyone else. Please comment! (link)
| |
We girls can't help it! Seems like we always want the ones we can't have or have to chase. Then the ones that adore us we don't want! Even the losers I dated were the ones I wanted cause I had to chase them. That just took extra time to figure out I was better and walk away.
|
What do you think about a guy that you ask over on a date, and he continually disses you?
I invited this guy over that I had liked for a long time.
I have a small but clean and nicely decorated appartment. Well he would say mean things about it, like when his tea got cold I told him I could zap it in my microwave and he said sarcastically "oh you have one of those"? Then when I asked him if he wanted to watch one of my movies he said "oh, it's the movie queen,". But the way he said it wasn't complimentary. Then he started asking me questions about my finaces! I kept trying to enagage him in conversation by showing him pictures but he looked completely bored. I felt very uncomfortable. I thought if I guy was into you he would say things to make you like him better. But the way he was acting it's like he was purposely trying to make me not like him.
Why do you think he was acting like this? He's still trying to be my friend. What should I do? (link)
| |
If you really like him then you'll probably give him the benefit of the doubt and it was just because he was nervous around you. But from an outsiders point of view, he just sounds like an arrogant jerk and wants everything his way. My best girl friend has been dating a guy like that for almost 2 years! Every single time he always makes some sarcastic and demeaning remark. She says 'oh that's just they way he is' but how long do you want to be treated that way? Find someone who's nice and appreciates the little things, don't waste time on someone who makes you feel badly about yourself.
|
|
Why is it that everyone focuses on the sex of a relationship before a relationship has even started, why do people judge each other on looks rather than personality? (link)
|
It is just human nature. You may be on the phone or computer with someone for months and think they are fabulous but you still have to meet them in person and see if you feel that spark of wanting to be physical too.
I went out on a few semi-blind dates fairly early because truthfully I didn't want to waste anyones time building this imaginary relationship and then meet them in person and think i couldn't stand to have them even touch me.
some people claim to be far beyond that, but remember that beauty IS in the eye of the beholder. I think my bf is a handsome devil, you may think he's a dork!
|
i recently saw a question submitted a couple days ago regarding a doctor's note, and i chose to do a research paper on the consequences of providing a fake doctor's note. however, i cannot find good material to support my essay, let alone find facts on whether or not it's illegal.
does anyone know of any websites or have had personal experience w/ this? (link)
| |
It's illegal, it's called forgery and fraud. Start with those terms.
|
|