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Q: Usually when people talk to me, the first thing I think is more like

"Okay", "That's interesting", or
"That's nice to know."

Not much of an opinion or anything. Bleh... and I don't want to say anything stupid.

What can I do to change that? I don't want people to think I am ignoring them when I don't respond quickly or think I'm stupid if I say something wrong.

Well the only thing i can say is that you should say what you think and if it does come out stupid just tell the person you thought it would be smart and it wasn't. I use to be the same way and now i just say "well that was dumb." It breaks down the awkword barrier of the first time you meet. I hope i helped and remember that my inbox is always open. You don't have to rate but it would be nice. Thanks!

Q: im m 17 and im going out with a girl who is 15 we have been going out 5 months 18 days now and we use to spend every minute we could together and we both say we love eachother alot (which i am sure i do) but recently shes been wanting more time with her friends but thats not wat bothers me, wat bothers me is that now even when i make plans with her, l8r on if her friends make plans with her shell jsut skip mine and her plans and jsut go off with her friends, ive talked to her about it last night and i believed everything was alright again she said she wanted to c me i said i wanted to c her so i told her not to make plans for sunday cause wed do something she said ok then she had to go so she said shed call me today(saturday), but it seems she didnt call me and she has gone off with her friends again, and she has plans with her friends tomorrow aswell totally making me feel insignificant compared to her friends like she has mostly this week. earlier on in the week i was talking to her and she could come up with anything to say all she said was "then y dont u just dump me, i dont want break up but if its really that bad then....?, i need to know is she leading me on?, is this a test?, she says she loves me still but how do i know shes telling the truth?, wat do i do? i love her so much but i dont know how much of this i can take, wat should i do?

You can't tell by the way she is acting, because every girl is different. She might be leading you on or testing you, but she also might just be having fun with friends. She might feel like you were leading her on, or she might feel insignifagant becuase you are older. You also have to remember that she realy isn't that old. Just because she is a teenager doesn't mean that she is necisaraly ready for a serious relationship. Every person is ready at their own time, you are ready, but maybe she isn't quite there yet. Just give her a chance to get there and if she doesn't quite get there break the news to her before she breaks the news to you. I hope i helped and remember my inbox is always open. You don't have to rate but it would be nice if you did. Thanks!

Q: ok here's the deal.......me and my boyfriend have bin going out for 5 months now and it would have bin 6 if we hadn't we hadnt bin waiting to make sure thats what we wanted and going out with the same guy for that long is a recorde for me lol anyways i know i'm totally and completly in love.....my question is......am i stupid to think this guy is the one......some people say i am because i'm only seventeen but my mom described to me when she met my dad she just knew and thats how i feel like i just know he's the guy i want to spend the rest of my life with......what do you think?

thanks in advance

Nobody can tell you that he isn't the one. You are seventeen, you never know. Just becuase you know that he is the guy, that should be enough. If you feel that he is right, suck it up, and do your best to keep it that way. Your mom was a smart person...just remember that even if he isn't the one, your guy is out there somewhere....okay? I hope that I helped, and remember that my ibox is always poen. You don't have to rate, but it would be nice. Thanks!

Q: Okey, I've tried working out, eating healthy and even counting every single calorie, and it STILL hasnt wokred! So please, don't give me the doctor-answer. Spare me the "healthy-talk".

If I skip dinner, and eat as much lunch as I do now, no more, no less..will I lose weight?

Just a simple yes or now, not "eating helthy, skip the sweets, try the gym" because I've foine that already. I've even tried making myself throw up, but my mother caught me.

So please answer truthfully, will it..or will it not? And please know what you are talking about.

no don't do it. If you do, then it will be worse. Even if you eat the same amount at lunch and breakfast, your body will take more of the fat out of those meals and end up making you gain more weight. Just pick some healthier things to eat and make sure that you do a good workout each day...that should help. I hope that I helped, and remember that my inbox is always open. You don't have to rate, if you don't want to, but it would be nice if you did. Thanks!

Q: Ok I have another prob. I cant tell when a boy is flirting with me. I know its kinda stupid. So what do I do? Should I ask them or just leave them alone? What do I do?

--->love luvsu

Just let it happen...if they like you, and they aren't cowards...I mean chickens...I mean...afraid, they will ask you out or will tell you that they like you....just leave this thing alone. The guy for you is out there, just let him come to you, it will happen...okay?

Q: Ok well to start with im 13 and never had a boyfriend. Alot of boys have asked me out but they told me it was a dare. So really not one guy has asked me out. Well at school I really like these guys but everytime I try to talk to them about it I get all scared and back out. So my questions are, what should I do about my fear of talking to the guys I like about how I fell? Is there something wrong with me since not one guy has asked me out for real? And can I do to find out if a guy likes me or not?

--->loves luvsu

For one, you need to realize that it isn't bad that you haven't had a boyfriend...you are only 13 ya know... Now, for your fear of talking to boys, you don't have to tell them, but if you want to...just do it! Don't let yourself have second thoughts. If you are walking over to talk to one of them, don't let yourself stop and talk to a friend or look at something else, look at him and do what you came for. Again I will tell you, there isn't anything wrong with you, you just haven't found the right guy...or he hasn't found you. Besides, the true guy for you will not think of you by your looks, but by your personality. If you look great, then they will like you for your looks and personality. I can't really tell you what to do about finding who likes you, it is kind of hard. I guess you could watch for guys flirting with you, but other than that, I don't know. It isn't like you can go to a website and ask it who likes you and it will name out every name...I can't help you there. Besides, when you are supposed to know who likes you, you will. I hope that I helped, and remember that my inbox is always open.

Q: Okay so i'm dating this guy named Brett.. and all he ever does is talk about himself and i cant stand it. like i was upset one night about me missing my dad(( he passed away 2 months ago and we were close)) and hes like your life isent bad... and im like yeah okay.. and he was like what im like i miss my dad and hes like well i miss my dad too who knows where he is((he moved to a diff. state)) im sure my life is worse than yours. im like yeah thanks. w/e... and all i ever hear about is himself and it drives me insane i mean cant one thing be about me ..

You aren't selfish at all, he is smothering you. Break up with him, he won't get better. He is mostly showing off, but that doesn't give him permission to act like that. If you don't feel like it is sooo serious that he will never change, talk to him about it, then give him a little while, then if he doesn't change, split. There really isn't much you can do about the way he acts. I hope that I helped, and remember that my inbox is always open. You don't have to rate if you don't want to, but it would be nice if you did. Thanks!

Q: I met a guy last year, and we started going out. Everything was going okay until I missed my period. I told him, and he seemed cool about it, said that if I were pregnant, he would be there for me and everything. A few months passed by before I found out I really was pregnant.
By that time, he had started talking to another girl, and had almost completely left me alone, knowing that I could be having his child. He never called anymore, and he had started talking to a boy I'll call Wayne. After seeing me try to tell my boyfriend about the situation, Wayne convinced him that I wasn't pregnant, and I was lying. When I started to show and people started asking my boyfriend about it, he would tell them the baby wasn't his.
So I gave up and decided to go through the whole thing on my own. I felt so alone, and became depressed. I needed him but I figured if he didn't care it wouldnt help to have him around. Then, when I was 5 months pregnant, I had a baby boy. He died not long after being born. I told myself I wouldn't tell my boyfriend this either. We had broken up about 2 months ago.
I only went deeper into depression because I had lost something so precious, and I was starting to look forward to having my baby.
When I would see my boyfriend, it would eat at my conscience(sp?) that he should know because it was his child. So I told him. I expected him to help me through this, but I don't think he even believed me. And even if he did, he doesn't seem to care about how I feel. While I'm always home suffering and depressed, he's being so happy with his new girlfriend and everything. And this is the worst pain I've ever felt. I'm so depressed, my grades are falling, and things are obviously just going downhill for me.
I wish I could just make him care. I'm going through this alone and it's really hard. Is there anything I can do to help myself get out of this depression? Anything I can say or do that will show him I'm not lying and I really need him right now? What is your honest opinion on this situation?
Thank you so much in advance.

I think that you shouldn't blame yourself, it isn't your fault that he doesn't care or that he died. Other than that there really isn't anything I can do for you. Everything else is up to you...you have to decide to make it better... you have to decide if you will let it take over your life, or if you will move on and keep living. Yes, he was important to you, and you loved him, and you might get a chance to have that love again, but you have to move on and get the grades and life that will help you have a life that your child can live in. Don't let your future fail because of one mistake and loss in the past. You can't change the past, but you can change your future. Just remember that you always have a second chance, you get to decide if you will use it for good, or bad. I hope that I helped, and remember that my inbox is always open. YOu don't have to rate if you don't want to, but it would be nice if you did. Thanks!

Q: well, I don't think that he is a very personal person, so if you do want to talk to him, you should talk to him about work for now.......

Thanks for ur advise on the above.

You are rite about him not being a very personal person..

He's only shy when girls ask him personal question.

The problem is i dont know what work related thing to ask since im no longer working in the same office with him...so the only way of communicating with him is tru my cellphone!!!
So if i cant wish him goodnite tru the cellphone, what else am i gonna say to him tru the phone?

I emailed him the last time, to ask for lunch but he dint even replied yes/no..he s too shy.
I did call him once but he was sooo uptight he jus gave excuse that he was engaged with his mom.
and acting like a total stranger.

Weird thing is sometimes he replies my normal sms.

well, okay. Then you can call him on your cell, but talk to him about work. If you don't know what to talk about then just ask him how his day went or is going at work...or what new things he is doing today at work, then, let him talk. If you don't understand a single thing he is talking about then just laugh when he does, agree when asks "right?" and just act like you do....it will make him a lot more comfortable. Other than that..I don't know...He sounds like the kinda guy that is scared of girls, and that is okay, just give him a chance to get used to you. I hope that I helped, and remember that my inbox is always open...yada yada, you know the rest...ha ha!

Q: ok, well im 5'4" and 101-102 lbs. I'm so sick of people callign me anerexic and bulemic . I feel so low abou myself. I eat SO much and in my eyes, I'm average. What is the average weight for a 14 year old 8th gader whose 5'4"? Am I ok w/ the weight that i am, I mean I eat so much, dont' do sports, and like never exercise, I'm liek naturally fit. Shoudl I gain weight?

actually, you are about the average weight. I am not much heavyer than that. People call everyone that is skinnier anerexic. Don't feel bad about yourself. You are great. As long as you continue to eat normaly, you will know that you aren't anerexic or bulemic. Just don't let them get to you. Some people just have to try harder to stay skinny, you don't, that isn't a crime. Don't feel bad. I hope that I helped, and remember that my inbox is always open. You don't have to rate, but it would be nice. Thanks!

Q: what does it mean when during an entire duration of a conversation with a guy, he's staring straight at your lips and occasionally into your eyes?

well, if he looks into your eyes realy deaply then he is like flirting with you and really like you. If he is looking at your lips he wants to kiss you. It sounds like someone really likes you! I hope that I helped, and remember that my inbox is always open. You don't have to rate, but it would be nice. Thanks!

Q: OK see i like this guy alot like alot alot and my friend is starting to like him and i like him before she even know he was alive and now he is starting to like her and i want to be happy for then but it is almost killing me to look at them together . i feel like crying all the time it feels like some one ripped out everything in side of me and is ripping it to shreds playing baseball,soocer,football,&baketball(volleball too)with it. and i hate it i do the fact that i was the first to like him and it is like she doesnt care who she hurts as long as she gets the guy and i want him to be happy but .............aww i dont know what to do

Here is an idea...did you talk to her about it? I mean, if she is a true friend she should listen to you when you tell her about it. Plus, did you tell her that you liked him before she started liking him, or after...did you even tell her at all? You have to think about how she feels. Maybe she was waiting for you to ask him out, but you never did, so she went for it. Now, I'm not totaly taking her side, don't worry. But I just wanted you to look at her side of the story. If she doesn't listen to you when you talk to her about it, then she isn't a true friend. I know that it is hard to be happy for them, but that is all you can do. Don't try to split them up, because that is just wrong. There is a chance that they will split up, and you can be there to confort him, and then ask him out! Just remember that you could have done it before he or she did! You will get a guy, you have your whole life ahead of you...remember that! Your guy is out there somewhere, if not him, someone else. I hope that I helped, and remember that my inbox is always open.

P.S.
I hope you get to be happy, tell me if you get him back!

Q: I know this guy from my previous office but not really that close to him. I think i have a crush on him but i dont really know if he likes me at all.

He's a consultant and talks extremely well when i ask him for advise on work.

However, he gets shy/uncomfortable, when i ask him simple personal questions for eg: Do you go for swimming. I think he has a problem of talking about himself to new people or just not that friendly.

So one day, i gave him some sweets via his secretary (i didnt really know him that well at that time in office) and he was quite startled and stared at me and waited for me to say something when i bumped at him at the doorway.
He had those puppy eyes..but didnt say word!.
I pretended not to appear interested in him becos i was too shy.!

He could have just thank me for the sweets but he didnt.

Later, i sent him email and was able to chat with him about work..and he responded quite well.

How do i get him to open up to me as a normal friend?

What can i say/should not say to him when i call him? Can i call him to say goodnight to him?

Would appreciate your advice.

well, I don't think that he is a very personal person, so if you do want to talk to him, you should talk to him about work for now. He should open up as you two get closer, but if you want to be a good friend with him you need to talk to him, instead of giving him chocolates. He sounds like a very shy guy. Just be carefull how personal you get or he will freak out and go back into his little turtle shell. Keep it stricktly buisness until he makes the move to personal. Just let him change into personal mode, unless you really think that he is ready. If you see him at night before you go home, or he goes home you can say good night, but don't track him down or call him up just to say good night. He will think that it is wierd. Other than that, you should be all set with the whole friend thing. Just look for him at lunch or after work or something and ask him to hang...then just talk about work. I hope that I helped and remember that my inbox is always open.

P.S.
I think he likes you. good luck! tell me how it goes...hope you get the guy! ha ha ha!

Q: Well my Best friend's boyfriend broke up with her because he liked me. She knows this. I feel so bad. I don't like him....i have a boyfriend. My boyfriend is his friend. I am so confused. I don't know if my friend hates me now. She always seems really sad around me. Can anyone help me?

You should talk to her about it. Tell her that you didn't want him to break up with her, and that you have a boyfriend and have no interest in him. Tell her that maybe it was for the best. She has to realize that if he broke up with her for you then he would have done it for an other girl. It is best that he did it sooner than later. Let her know that you are there for her and that you will help her find a boy to like. Help her look at boys, get her thinking about other things so that she doesn't moap around forever. I hope that I helped, and remember that my inbox is always open. YOu don't have to rate, but it would be nice if you did. Thanks!

Q: Ah yes, silly as this may sound but I am in my twenties and having trouble striking up a conversation with this girl whom I happen to like. I have no problem smiling, winking, or saying hi, but thats it. Than i get nervous and words disappear. How do I strike up a conversation with her and actually get her interest. That without saying something silly. I don't mean over coffe or dinner. Just a random approach. Your tips and advice will always be very much appreciated.

Think about stuff you are interested in. Think about the wheather, or an animal that you see. I mean, you can bring up anything. Sometimes girls like it when a guy uses really old or stupid pick up lines and then laughs about them. I mean, don't be mean or really stupid. Maybe try to find out something about her and what she likes before you strike up a conversation....I don't know. It depends on her. But if you don't just go for it, it will get harder. I hope that I helped and remember that my inbox is always open. You don't have to rate, but it would be nice if you did. Thanks!

P.S.
good luck!

Q: 14/f.
I first noticed this boy at school a few months ago. He's in 2 of my classes and he is new this year. Nobody ever picks me for gym, because I'm not really athletic. This guy, when he was team captain, picked me first for his team. After that I began to look at him in English class. He stares at me a lot. Over the months I began to fall for him. My friends were bored so they asked him if he thought I was cute over AIM. He didn't reply. I didn't know if that was good or bad. Well a few weeks ago his Myspace headline said "I wish I could tell you" I'm not saying it's definitely about me, I'm just saying it could be. Friday I finally got the courage to IM him. He didn't say much but I knows he talks a lot to his other friends. He left this comment on his friend's Myspace that said he thinks girls should come to guys. I don't know what to do now.. he makes me really friggin nervous.

If you like the guy, and you think that he likes you, then try to kinda show it. When you see him say hi, and look at him a lot, and if he reacts then go for it. He obviously thinks that you should be the one to go for it, sence you are the girl. I'm not saying just plain out walk up to him and ask. Make it seem like you like him, but make him not quite sure. Do what he is doing. It makes people curious. It works, you would know. Right? Anyway, I think that if you do that he will get curious and try to find out if you like him. Then you will know that he likes you. I hope that I helped and remember that my inbox is always open. You don't have to rate but it would be nice. Thanks.

Q: hi, i am Nikhil Bajpai from India.i need your advice about what i should buy,a mp3 player or a discman.the prime considerations are FM player,voice recorder,FM recorder,a good battery life,superior sound quality and maximum storage space.Please reply.My email ID is nikhil.bajpai@rediffmail.com

I believe that you should get an MP3 player. To me it is better than a discman. I hope that I helped, and remember that my inbox is always open.

Q: ok well i really like this guy at my school and some of my friends think he likes me cause they say he talks about me alot and always askes who i like....i really like him but i never see him(even though he goes to my school)how would i find out how he likes me and try to make it obvious that i like him also?

Okay, if he talks about you a lot, then he likes you. He asks who you like...he likes you. One way to make it obvious that you like him...tell him. An other way to make it obvious, ask him out. People need to go for it more often. Either he asks you out or you ask him...it is that simple. The only problem with asking him out is that if by some wierd chance he doesn't like you it will become really weird after he tells you that he doesn't like you that way. I really think that he does like you because of all the things that he is doing. Here is an idea, ask him! okay, so he might not answer you truthfully, but you will be able to tell if he is telling the truth if he sais no. I mean how hard can it be to read someone's thoughts by their body language? It really isn't. Ask him and if he is figiting with his hands behind his back while he is talking to you or something, then he likes you and is really nervous around you. I hope that I helped, and remember that my inbox is always open. You don't have to rate, but it would be nice if you did. Thanks!

P.S.
good luck if you try to ask him out. If not, good luck getting him to ask you out!

Q: who sings that song that goes "Sara beth is scared to death" i dont know the rest...
thanks

Rascal flatts, and it is called "skin"

Q: I'm 15/f

I have a relatively small room. How can I make it seem bigger [i.e. mirrors]? I want to make the most out of it too. Thank you

Paint your room with brighter colors and don't put anything huge in your room. That will make your room look larger. I hope that I helped, and remember that my inbox is always open. You don't have to rate, but it would be nice. Thanks!

bio

Ok, so I haven't been on in a while and I'm just starting to get back to where I can give advice again. I had a rough spot there and I just couldn't give advice without seeming rude, so I decided to take a break. My real name is Shannon and I live in Utah. I am 15 and I love animals and friends. I love to act and know a bit about those kinds of things. I would love to help you out and hope that I can. But there is one thing, you have to ask a question for me to answer! Just kidding. Hope you have a great day!