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Baby and Ex-boyfriend
I met a guy last year, and we started going out. Everything was going okay until I missed my period. I told him, and he seemed cool about it, said that if I were pregnant, he would be there for me and everything. A few months passed by before I found out I really was pregnant.
By that time, he had started talking to another girl, and had almost completely left me alone, knowing that I could be having his child. He never called anymore, and he had started talking to a boy I'll call Wayne. After seeing me try to tell my boyfriend about the situation, Wayne convinced him that I wasn't pregnant, and I was lying. When I started to show and people started asking my boyfriend about it, he would tell them the baby wasn't his.
So I gave up and decided to go through the whole thing on my own. I felt so alone, and became depressed. I needed him but I figured if he didn't care it wouldnt help to have him around. Then, when I was 5 months pregnant, I had a baby boy. He died not long after being born. I told myself I wouldn't tell my boyfriend this either. We had broken up about 2 months ago.
I only went deeper into depression because I had lost something so precious, and I was starting to look forward to having my baby.
When I would see my boyfriend, it would eat at my conscience(sp?) that he should know because it was his child. So I told him. I expected him to help me through this, but I don't think he even believed me. And even if he did, he doesn't seem to care about how I feel. While I'm always home suffering and depressed, he's being so happy with his new girlfriend and everything. And this is the worst pain I've ever felt. I'm so depressed, my grades are falling, and things are obviously just going downhill for me.
I wish I could just make him care. I'm going through this alone and it's really hard. Is there anything I can do to help myself get out of this depression? Anything I can say or do that will show him I'm not lying and I really need him right now? What is your honest opinion on this situation?
Thank you so much in advance.<3
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Want to answer more questions in the Health & Fitness category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Mental health?
Dear Baby & Exbf,
I'm so sorry for your loss. Please understand that you are grieving, and the depression you feel is part of that process.
Looking to your bf to help you through this is a waste of time and not where you need to focus your energy. You need to speak with a counselor or therapist about what you've been through.
Neither you or your bf were ready to become parents, and so, bringing a baby into this situation would have been complicated, messy, and not fair to the child.
In the meantime, put your attention & energy into getting help to deal with this loss. If you can't speak with your parents, perhaps you can call Planned Parenthood (via 411) and tell them you need to see someone. You can also call 411 and ask for the local "Information & Referral" agency in your area; these places keep directories of various programs, agencies, services that people can't easily find.
The help is out there, but you'll have to do your part. This experience has happened for a reason, and there are things you need to learn about yourself before becoming a parent.
Do your part to grow & develop into an adult and learn about what healthy relationships are about. When the time comes, you'll find yourself ready & able to parent with a committed partner who'll be there for you.
Take Care,
Earth Mother
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I'm sure you can receive some sort of document stating the existence and death of this child. Get an offical report from a doctor, which destroys any doubt this guy has that the child ever existed. Send it to him through the mail, as well as a long, handwritten letter explaining exactly what happened and exactly what you think of him for it. You've been taking all this stress yourself; it's about time you made him realize what he has done so he can share it. If, after all this, he still does not seem to care, he is less than a human being, and you should never associate with him again.
Once he realizes the reality of the situation, he will hopefully live up to it. Best of luck to you, and he if doesn't act like a man and admit his fault, I hope he dies in a fire.
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I think that you shouldn't blame yourself, it isn't your fault that he doesn't care or that he died. Other than that there really isn't anything I can do for you. Everything else is up to you...you have to decide to make it better... you have to decide if you will let it take over your life, or if you will move on and keep living. Yes, he was important to you, and you loved him, and you might get a chance to have that love again, but you have to move on and get the grades and life that will help you have a life that your child can live in. Don't let your future fail because of one mistake and loss in the past. You can't change the past, but you can change your future. Just remember that you always have a second chance, you get to decide if you will use it for good, or bad. I hope that I helped, and remember that my inbox is always open. YOu don't have to rate if you don't want to, but it would be nice if you did. Thanks!
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wow...im sorry but what a jerk! how could anyone leave their gf while their pregnant? and not believe them? ok so neway...i think you should tell him you were not lying and you need him becuase you are extremly depressed and feel that he doesnt care about u any more. Wow...im sorry i cant stop thinking about what a jerk he is...try talking to your mom about it, maybe she'll know what to do. Oh and for your depression, I think you should see a phsychiatrist to help you through all this becuase depression leads to suicide and you dont want that to happen. or at least i hope not. hope i helped ♥dAnieLLe
*rate*
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