ccupcake07's advice column

askccupcake07

advice column ask question view feedback favorite columnist advicenators

Q: i'm trying to put stars around my name on myspace & can't find the codes for it. know a good site or the code?

I'm sorry. I don't have a myspace so i don't really know.

Q: well, there's this guy i have feelings for, and i'm almost positive he likes me but that's not the problem. the problem is i'm a sophomore and he's a freshmen, and i know age shouldn't matter and all, but i get this weird feeling whenever i think about the grade difference. people at my school are really judgemental, and i don't usually care what people think of me, but this issue is eating at my nerves. is there a problem with dating a freshmen, or should i just not date him? or do you have any other advice? thanks in advance.

I don't think one year is a problem. If the school judges you, o well, it's not like your the one with the problem, they are for judging you, and as long as your happy with your guy, thats all that matters. Hope this helps!

Q: the past month i've been talking to this boy who i really do like but everyone says hes no good for me. i can see where their all coming from because all he does all day is smoke weed and hang out in the streets. i dont know if i should just let him go and stop talking to him. i would feel so bad if i did that though because he is faithful to me unlike all the other past relationships i've been in. i have talked to him about it before but he just doesn't want to stop smoking.

If he likes you enough, he would stop. Just tell him that if your going to be in a relationship with him, he has to stop and if he dosen't, he dosen't deserve you. If he does, then you know he really likes you and is willing to give that up for you. Don't cave in..tell him how you feel. Hope this helps!

Q:
I don't want an answer to make me feel better. I just want an opinion. Is it ever okay for a guy to cheat? Even if he said he was drunk when it happened and he had sex with someone else, though he rememberes what he did during the sex?

I think its a stupid excuse, and he remembered everything but his girl. I just want opinions. I say cheating is NEVER okay.

Thanks.

No, its not okay to cheat. Guys are supposed to have 1 girlfriend and give their full attention to you!!! Don't let them treat you bad!!
Hope this helps!

Q: i hate stretch marks. i have them on my waist and on my boobs. there so ugly and the ones on my waist are VERY noticeable! how can i get rid of them?

You could try cocoa butter or bio oil. Hope this helps!

Q: Ok, I have this friend that knows I really like this one guy. A few minutes after I told her that she asked him out and she always hugs him in front of me and everything. It is getting really annoying. When she asked him out he said, "yea but what about tyler?" And then she said "I dunno yet," and I am so confused with her. She has been going out with both for a week and she knows how much I like the one guy. I dunno what to do because she knows that I like him but won't break up with him so I can go out with him...and she alreay has a b/f

That is not a true friend. This happned to me and i told the friend i was mad that she did that and she broke up with him because she realized that friendships are more important than a boyfriend. I still won't forget that but i think you should tell your friend how you feel. I know you might be scared at first because so was i but then i just got the guts and told her and she broke up with him. If your friend dosen't do this i would stop hanging around her because basically what she is saying when she asked him out was "I don't care if you like him, i would rather have him than our friendship." Tell her how you feel. Hope this helps!

Q: My ex and i started dating in april 2007 and broke up in early july 2007. we broke up because my "best friend" showed him a video of another guy on top of me. he broke up with me of coarse, but i still liked him alot. i tryed alll summer to talk to him but he would not talk to me at all. now its been a year later, we have talked a few times but only casually online and hardly in person. i tell myself im over him but others still believe im not. i even have hooked up with other guys since we broke up. and he has had a girlfriend and sometimes i really feel that i am over him and done with him.
right after we broke up i would have dreams as that we are still together and about a month later he was not in my dreams anymore. that lasted for about two months and suddenly when school started again in september 2007, i saw him at school all the time and it really hurt to see him, he is also the star athelte which made it harder because im a cheerleader and at football games i would hear touch down by him like every 5 minutes.
but anyway he started to appear in my dreams but we would not look at each other or say anything (no contact at all) as a weeks went on, he started being in the same room as me in my dreams, then after a week, the same car as me, then he would look at me, then we would have major eye contact, then he would start to say hi to me in my dreams, then we would have just a friendly conversation, then we would hug in my dream, and now in my dreams we are hooking up and of coarse it feels so right because when we were together i cared and liked him soooo much. but im over him now since its been a year later and moved on.
but now im just confused as to why im having dreams like that and what i want to know most is what the meaning of those dreams are or if i should talk to him or what should i do and what do the dreams mean?

Your dreams show you still like him even though you are trying to get over him. You want to be close to him again even if you don't want to admit it to yourself because you are trying to get over him. Hope this helps!

Q: ok so to this day i am "the vigin mary" as my friends say. I have never even kissed a guy before and i am 14! PROBLEM: I am one of the most developed girls at school and a ton of guys only date me to get in my pants. But I am not willing to just give it up because I want it to be the perfect moment for me. Its monumental!! So how do I know exactly when its the right time or if its the right guy?

You will know the right guy when he talks to you and he looks you in the eye or when he kisses your forehead instead of your lips. That shows that he likes you for you and not your body. Also, when he calls you "beautiful, gorgoues, and pretty." Not, "sexy!" But i think you will just kinda know the right guy when he comes because of the way you feel. That might sound confusing but really, it's the truth. When you can't wait to see him again and you constantly think about him. Hope this helps!

Q: i work at a fast food resaurant and im around grease and heat all day and it makes my face super greasy as well. and im starting to break out, is there any product, a cleaser, creme, or anything, i can put on my face before work to prevent breakouts?

thankyou!
16/f

Before you go to work, wash your face. Then put some Clean&Clear moisturizer on and go to work. Whenever you get a break, wash your face and apply the moisturzer. Hope this helps!

Q: im making this up bytheway:

lets say theres a guy i know. and he went out with this girl that he really loved.. for A WHOLE YEAR. and suddenly she breaks up with him because... SHE thinks she doesnt have feelings for him anymore.
The guy gets VERY very depressed and turned to drugs for comfort. now i know youre thinking this is very "stupid" and he did not think it through. but he's human. BEAR with me.

Lets say I dont talk to this guy but i happen to know him. because i see him around .. lets say.. at work. i feel VERY BAD FOR HIM. i sometimes wish he was MY FRIEND. so that i could help him as much as i could. i know deep inside he is a very good decent person. [who doesnt need all those drugs.. and to get high]

His friends tried to talk him out of it and he went to rehab. and after a while he got out and was okay for a bout .. 2 months. he did all sorts of good things and even coached a .. basketball team. and he was, again, acting like a NORMAL person.

After a WHIIILLEE, i see him looking like he is hypnotized like just staring at one thing without blinking and there you go again.. he's high. i guess who went back to drugs. just by looking at him makes me think about what he's dont to eff up his life. he needs help. he's a good person.

what do you think should happen next?

P.S.
questions for ANSWERS:
1 do you think he'll turn back to drugs again? and again ? and again? and so on..
2 mis there a chance for him to get BETTER again? ever?
3 will he be like that for the rest of his life or get back to normal?
4 ETC. for additional details you might wanna add.

1. Yes, i think he will because if he dosen't get help, nobody is going to stop him.

2. If somebody talks to him (friend, counselor, teacher, parents, etc.) then i think he has a chance of overcoming it and stopping.

3.He won't be like this forever if he gets help and stops doing drugs. Then he will turn back to the person he was before.

Hope this helps!

Q: 16/m
hi there.my problem is that i need to break up with this girl . i have been going out with her for about 6 months but i do not feel the same feelings for her that i had before. this is the first time i have had a girlfriend so i am not sure how i should go about doing it. i realy have to do it soon as she realy likes me but i do not like her and i cannot let this continue, i want to do it in the easiest way. i do not want her to get hurt though i know that would be quite impossible. any help here please. thanks for any advice

I would just tell her exactly how you feel. Be really nice and supportive if she starts getting sad or cries and tell her you can still be friends. Hope this helps!

Q: ive always been a pretty jelous person, not going to lie.. i am 14 yrs old and going to be a sophmore. i am pretty, a cheerleader, hang with the 'popular' crowd, have an older boyfriend, and a lot of friends. (not trying to brag, just want you to get the full idea, i would never say this to someone and i dont want to come off as a snob). so you may think i have all this, what more could i get, right? well most of my friends have A LOT more than i do. money wise. they are loaded for the most part.. and im not poor, but i cant afford what they can and i try to fit in my best. also, im not saying im fat, but im not skinny like my friends... i try to be SUPER nice to everyone, and i have a lot of apathy for many people but when you get on my wrong side, i can be the biggest bitch you will ever meat.

so now you know about me, lets get to the story.. i dont know who 'myself' is. for example, when somebody says "be yourself" i just cant because i dont know who i am. im always trying to follow my friends because for some reason im always jelous of them and their personalities. i dont know why. i try to say to myself that what i have in life is fine for me and i dont need to be someone else to be happy but it just happens.. if i hang out with one of my friends like 3 days in a row, ill immediately start to act and talk like them and its very wierd because i cant help it and it is very wierd and it lasts for a few days.

part of me thinks this happens because my mother is a complete bitch and always tells me im never happy, im such a butch, im so mean, no body likes me, im a fatass, (etc.).. she lowers my self esteem so much till the point where i cant take it any more and i tried to talk to her about it but she doesnt want to hear it. and i know you may say 'dont listen to her' well at first, i dont.. but then after, what she said repeats in my head and i cant help to believe it might be true. and the way she describes me, i dont want to be that way.. she makes me feel like my personality isnt good enough for people and maybe thats why i try to act like my friends.

someone pleas help me =(

and when someone says act yourself, i seriously dont know how to act because i dont know how to act myself.. its hard to explain but please help me with that too!

thank you=)

When people say to be yourself, you have to just do what you would do and not what your friends do. Imagine not being like your friends and just yourself for a second. What kind of personality would you have? When you hang around your friends for a long time, yeah, you start to act like them, but you should always do whatever that voice inside your head tells you (opinion wise). I don't know if this is a help or not but i hope it is.

Q:
I am an avid coffee drinker. On a normal day I drink one to three cups of coffee at any time of the day and it never affects me. It doesn't give me energy, keep me awake or anything like that. The last time I had Monster energy drink I was sick after literally two sips. I got a terrible headache and ended up spending the rest of the night feeling miserable in my bed. I've only had half a Red Bull, at the most, and it has never done that to me, nor has it given me energy.

It's been about a year or so since my Monster experience and I want to give it a try and see if it will wake me up in the morning. Do you think it will actually give me energy or will it just make me sick?

I wouldn't go back to that drink because they are bad for you. They have lots of sugar and calories in them and after you drink them you might get energy for a couple hours and then you will crash. Hope this helps!

Q: I was just wondering if anyone knows a way i can make some money. I'm 15 years and it seems like no one wants to hire me. I'd really appreciate some suggestions. THANKS!!

babysitting is always good. You can also do chores around the house or have a yard sale. Hope this helps!

Q: 14/f

A lot of times when I stand up or sit up after laying down, I black out. My vision goes all black for about five seconds and I feel a bit dizzy.

I don't know why this is happening... I haven't changed my eating or exercise habits at all. I eat enough and I do about 30 minutes of cardio a day.

Any idea why this is happening?
Thanks

Make sure you have been getting 8 hours of sleep each night and not to get over heated. These things could be causing it. Hope this helps.

Q: Ok,
So hi its sayah again,
uhm, so i am not pregnant
but i kinda want a baby now.
I am sad and disapointed
evern though im only 14
but still, i was thinking
and should i try and prego again ?

I would WAIT until you are old enough to actually take care of another life because right now you are still a teenager and you have plenty of time before you even need to think about that. Babies are a lot of work and need a lot of effort and you cant take care of another life when you are still in middle school or highschool. Please think about this long and hard because people think that babies are cute and cuddly which they are (the first 5 minutes). Then it just turns to Chaoss. Hope this helps!

Q: Typically speaking, how are friends with benefits supposed to act towards one another? Right now if i were to label me and my guy friend that, it would consist of sex and things leading up to sex. we never hang out (we have 2 times), we talk or text like once or twice a week, and we never know what each other is doing through out the week. anyways, after we finished having sex the other night he asked what we were. i told him i know he doesn't want a relationship going into his senior year of high school, but he considered us "talking". which to me isn't even a real thing. so anyway, i like doing what we do but at the same time i wish we would talk more. my question is, are friends with benefits supposed to talk on a normal basis, or just have sex?

My defenition of that is that you are friends but you still kiss and hold hands but nothing more. Then, if you are going out, you start doning other stuff. Hope this helps!

Q: Hi, I'm Brittany, im 13 and I'm a girl so, yah....my question is about my boyfriend and his mom. His mother doesn't like me very much and he told her that I don;t like her either....he said that I should meet her but I'm kind of affraid to, if you know what I mean.....but anyways....I don't know what to do, what do you think? Should I meat her or not?

Yes, i would go meet her and be very polite so she can see what kind of sweet girl you are. :). Then she might think that you are perfect for her son. Hope this helps!

Q: so for the past few months (maybe not wise i know but i'm just emberressed to talk to my doctor about it) ive been having like this whitish yellowish colored stuff coming out of my vagina.. no iching or anything just like alot of it.. like my underwear gets totally soaked in like a few hours.. i mean it dries eventually but yeah its annoying... and it smells kinda weird too... like not my normal smell... i know that you're probably say go to the doctor... and i think i will but also what do you think this could be?

It's discharge and it is perfectly normal. I would just wear a pantiliner so you don't get that nasty feeling. Hope this helps!

Q: im 13, and i work out daily 50-60 minutes on my treadmille.
i eat only 3 times a day
Breakfast
dinner
and at night before i sleep like hours before i sleep, and it works good and i lost weight but since i started working out and eating less everytime i get up to walk i get dizzy and everything seems to get kinda black,, i dont kno whats happenin im sure its nothing big but what is it?

You need to a little more and don't go overboard on the excersising. My friend did that one time and had a stroke from it so i would definatly eat more because you are eating to less and pushing yourself to much. Hope this helps!

bio

Hey Everyone! I am on the computer a lot and if you and questions or concerns, you can send me a message here on advicenators and i will answer as quickley as possible. I give honest answers but am not to harsh on people. You can ask me any kind of question and i will answer it! Ask away! Thanks!