|
how do u kno???
ok so to this day i am "the vigin mary" as my friends say. I have never even kissed a guy before and i am 14! PROBLEM: I am one of the most developed girls at school and a ton of guys only date me to get in my pants. But I am not willing to just give it up because I want it to be the perfect moment for me. Its monumental!! So how do I know exactly when its the right time or if its the right guy?
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Sexual Health and Reproduction category?
Maybe give some free advice about: General Sex Questions?
You can't know when it's the right time or the right guy until way after you do it. I think that people are overreacting. Don't worry about this so much. It's not like you're on here talking about losing your virginity. You can't set really high standards for guys or you'll never end up kissing anybody! With your first kiss, it's better just to go with what feels right. If you're with a guy that you like and he's cute and sweet, go for it! Yeah, he's probably not going to be the guy you end up with forever, but who cares. You can at least look back to your first kiss and say that it was with a sweet guy that things didn't work out with. That's what it's going to be anyway right? There's no way you'll ever regret that. So why put it off? What are you waiting for? I'm not saying run out and find a guy to make out with, but be open to doing it with someone that's not perfect. Sometimes imperfections to the story make better, more lasting memories. You don't want to be kissing your first guy when you're almost 19 like I did. All the time I think about how much more fun I would have had and how much better my relationships, the ones that matter, would have worked out if I'd been a little more carefree in high school. Learn now so that when it matters, it won't come back to haunt you. Be smart, but please be proactive about it. I'm giving this advice to you because it's clear that you are using your head and you're not going to make stupid decisions. Trust yourself and your judgment and take it one step at a time! Kissing and stuff like that isn't losing your virginity. Wait for Mr. Right for that, not this! :)
]
There are no perfect moments, right guy, right time, etc.
These things are myths. Created because most 14 year olds don't understand the concept that you should ALWAYS be choosy and you have to give them some reason to prolong things and wait as an additional motivator.
What you should do, is wait until things like this are NOT the reason you have sex.
Usually, most people don't manage that until 17-18 or older.
Also, guys are all horny, and we all want sex constantly. If you're "developed" expect that to be even worse for you. What you need is a guy who expresses alot of interest in you outside of sex.
Lastly, you should know that even in adult relationships, once sex becomes involved often the relationship stops growing for a good while, because that becomes what everything is about for a decent bit of time after.
Cross that with a 15 to 19 year old guy, and the sooner sex happens the more the relationship just becomes about that, and they aren't mature enough to be developing the rest of it in stride.
I dont know when you will be ready. Can't tell you that. What I CAN tell you, is that you are not ready NOW.
And general wisdom states that this won't change for a few years at the bare minimum.
Lastly, as noted below me somewhere, there are a bunch more things you should be worried about than "the right time to have sex"
Go to school. Go play a sport. Go join some clubs. Go do something stupid and embarrassing without resorting to intoxicants of any kind. Enjoy things and stop worrying about "the perfect moment"
If you do things right, find a guy you want to date because you like spending time with him, have a life, go to school, you'll work your way around to the sex part in due time and might actually be ready for it when you make that inevitable decision.
]
Well, you are still young and not as experienced as the older people in love. But when you feel you love someone, then you will automatically know that he is the right one for you and that it's the right time.
]
Listen, i'm only 16. It's way too early to even think about the 'right time'. You don't want to be the girl in highschool with a baby on the way. I'm not trying to impose on your decisions, i just don't want you asking later on what to do with your baby in 3 months, or whenever someone tells you to. Just wait 'till you get married. I'm a virgin, and i'm fine with it. Waiting for it only makes it better later.
Hal.
]
omg i have the same problem! Dont even worry. At some time they will give it up. and then will leave you alone. But as for the right time? make sure its someone whos not just trying to kiss you because they want to be your first. Make sure its someone you trust. And when the times right? You will feel like....hmm...you will have like butterflys. and sometimes you will like look in there eyes and then, POOF! Its all over. but its great. (well since iv only kissed 2 guys i guess i wouldnt know.haha)
-Callie 13/f
]
You will know the right guy when he talks to you and he looks you in the eye or when he kisses your forehead instead of your lips. That shows that he likes you for you and not your body. Also, when he calls you "beautiful, gorgoues, and pretty." Not, "sexy!" But i think you will just kinda know the right guy when he comes because of the way you feel. That might sound confusing but really, it's the truth. When you can't wait to see him again and you constantly think about him. Hope this helps!
]
first of all, that is very rude and disrespectful for your friends to refer to you as "the virgin mary." just because you haven't kissed a guy at such a young age doesn't make you prude or a bad person -- you're simply waiting.
i am going to turn sixteen in a little over four months, and i have never kissed a guy. granted, i'm not more than a B breast size but you should always wait for the right guy. so don't feel pressured to get a boyfriend just cause your friends are being jerks.
second. you know he's the right one when he can have a conversation with you for 60 minutes with nothing sexual going on. just talking as in getting to know each other. he cares about you and respects you. but honestly, it's rare that girls find "the perfect guy" in high school. yes, there are such things as couples who are high school sweethearts, but at this age guys are very immature and hormonal so they're always horny, and girls just want to find their prince so they go out with them.
fourteen is a young age. you have time. don't waste your time, body or self on a boy who just wants to be lustful with you. you'll one day meet a guy who you know is right for you, but not at this time, love.
no one can say for sure how to find the right guy. most people on this site haven't found their soulmate. but you'll feel a very strong connection, and you'll be attracted to their personality, not their body.
]
More Questions: |