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Friends with benefits: are friends with benefits supposed to talk on a normal basis, or just have sex?
Typically speaking, how are friends with benefits supposed to act towards one another? Right now if i were to label me and my guy friend that, it would consist of sex and things leading up to sex. we never hang out (we have 2 times), we talk or text like once or twice a week, and we never know what each other is doing through out the week. anyways, after we finished having sex the other night he asked what we were. i told him i know he doesn't want a relationship going into his senior year of high school, but he considered us "talking". which to me isn't even a real thing. so anyway, i like doing what we do but at the same time i wish we would talk more. my question is, are friends with benefits supposed to talk on a normal basis, or just have sex?
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My defenition of that is that you are friends but you still kiss and hold hands but nothing more. Then, if you are going out, you start doning other stuff. Hope this helps!
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Friends with benefits typically do not communicate outside of sexual relations. Communicating is simply not a part of this sort of situation.
The only time these people tend to contact each other is when they are planning a meet and have sex sort of deal. It's pretty usual for them to part ways pretty quickly after sexual relations are over for the evening.
Friends with benefits do not go out like couples do in a relationship. They do not go on dates and they tend to stay pretty far away from things that may be considered as a date. They may make it very clear that if they have to go out somewhere together that it is a strictly friends ordeal or they go in groups. There are the few couples that go out to movies to make-out but they, again, part ways very soon after the event as ended.
Phone communication is rare if it does not revolve around sex. From what I've gathered, things become very impersonal unless sex is involved, and then information about desires, fantasies, and fetishes may be shared. Phone conversations are pretty short, and online messenger services tend to be preferred. Key points are usually thought out well before contact is made as to make things short and to-the-point.
I believe that communication and overall interaction is cut down so much as to avoid emotional baggage from forming (which usually forms anyway but these sort of people try to avoid it, naturally). The more you interact with someone on a personal basis (ie: getting to know who they are), the more likely it is that you will develop some sort of attachment to them. Attachment is a hard thing while in a friends with benefits situation because the other person typically does not share those same feelings for you.
It simply comes down to cutting personal contact out to be able to have a guilt-free sexual relationship. The more you know about a person, the higher chances there are that you will become emotionally or mentally attached to them. This is why many people say that these kinds of "relationships" are extremely unhealthy--you do not learn how to effectively communicate and interact with a partner at all.
The sooner one person in that sort of "relationship" starts opening up or trying to retrieve personal information from the other one, the sooner things will completely burn out.
I agree with you about "talking" though. "Talking" is just not real, and I am beginning to think that it's made-up to make people feel better about not being desired for relationship material. You're either in a relationship or you're not, plain and simple. I would guess that he said that to keep you hanging around because girls are notorious for becoming emotionally attached to their sex partners. If he wants to be in a real relationship with you then he would have said so. Guys are pretty clear about that sort of thing.
I hope I've helped you figure out your own situation. If you have any more questions please feel free to ask me! :)
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it depends. me and this guy were good friends first so we talked and hung out anyways. i know some people who have been FWB and acted almost like they were dating, without the attachment and they can see other poeple. other people are like you and this guy and its almost purely for the physical stuff.
so everyone's friends with benefits relationship is different.
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