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Life is full of hardships and though being as young as I am, I've dealt with a lot over my time. I'll admit, I've never had a death of a loved one, getting stung by a bee, had cancer, or died and revived so I can live to tell about it, I still have some know hows on how to deal with it all. I know things here and there that have nothing to do with anything but it helps in times of need. Its all a matter of paying attention and figuring out what could have, would have, or should have been done.

I can give great advice sometimes, buts a matter of fact that you can't just read it and go,"That's a great idea, I might do that..." Take into account that advice is only as good as the person who uses it, not the person who gives it...
The golden moments in the stream of life rush past us and we see nothing but sand; the angels come to visit us, and we only know them when they are gone.
George Eliot
English novelist (1819 - 1880)


Character is what God and the angels know of us; reputation is what men and women think of us.
Horace Mann
US educator (1796 - 1859)

Be not forgetful to entertain strangers, for thereby some have entertained angels unawares.
Hebrews 13:2

We are, each of us angels with only one wing; and we can only fly by embracing one another.
Luciano de Crescenzo

A man does not have to be an angel in order to be a saint.
Albert Schweitzer
French philosopher & physician (1875 - 1965)

God always has an angel of help for those who are willing to do their duty.
T. L. Cuyler

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Last Update: January 26, 2009
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i never tried this ask a random columnist thing before but oh well. Im 15 years old, female, from a small small town and like every teenager i have issues. sometimes i just feel so alone and i have friends and they are the best and i have family who are great as well but still i cant help but feel alones sometimes, also i cant help but feel like im not doing what im supposed to be doing like somehow im living a different life than what i was supposed to. i just need someone to talk to and maybe someone who can relate you dont need to answer this but u if do thats great too -PeachEffect

Loneliness is a common feeling among people. Big town, small town; lots of friends, few closer friends. Doesn't matter. Its always been a terrible factor in my life. I've moved so many times, I've never actually had any childhood friends. And my parents aren't even in the army! So I hear all my friends talk about people they new since elementary and it makes me feel rather lonely myself. I can't tell you its a phase that will go away, but I can tell you that being with your friends takes that loneliness away for small moments of time is good enough, in my opinion.

If you feel like your not living the life you think you should be living, then find what you think you should be doing and find ways to start doing them. You can easily change your life by the choices you make. Trust your instincts, that gut feeling of yours, as well as your conscience, and all the things that should happen will happen, and the right things will come in time. Your only 15, so you have a ton of time to figure out what you feel you should be doing in your life. If you need someone to talk to, anyone you trust most dearly and you know will listen intently to what you say will be the best person to talk to.

If you need any other advice, I will always answer the best I can. b(^_o)

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i need some ideas for a school video project about 1 to 2 min long it can be about anything. something like a commercial is good but has to be funny

Try some sort of spoof of sublymonal advertising on a drink your school sells or something the school likes most or something. Watch TV for comercial ideas and watch madtv or SNL for comedy ideas.

Maybe just for kicks, do a Captain Morgan spoof and instead of "having a little captain in him/them/her" try "has a little (insert mascot here) in them"

Might actually work... otherwise try the TV advice

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hi im 15/usa
and i like two guys. one goes to my school and the other lives far away...way too far away, over a thousand miles.
the one guy at school is really nice, but he isnt as outgoing as i think he is. he's really shy, but is super nice, nice personality. but i'm really talkative...so i dont know. and he knows i like him, but we both dont know each other very well, i guess thts part of the problem. and we dont get to see each other at school that much, and to tell the truth im not sure if he likes me all that much because he doesnt seem to exactly..come to me at school or he doesnt have myspace or aim, so i want to get to know him better, as friends at least. any ideas? and he lives close to me.
and the other guy lives very far away, but ive talked to him on myspace..etc and hes adorable, but i dont think there is even a point to get involved, too far away and long distace relationships dont work, but it's hard to get him off my mind. please help me with these guy problems!
**ohh, and how do you get a guy to shave off his beard?
thanks :]

Stick with the guy at your school, its more likely to work and more likely to last with less problems. Plus, cyber dating is kinda bad, because you can lie on the Internet. Just hang with him often as you can without looking like your forcing him to open up if you can do that. He'll open up in his own time, whether that takes a long time or short time.

BTW To a guys point of view, if he like his beard, he won't shave it unless he gets a girl who want him to do it. Most guys will do anything to keep their girl happy =D

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Hello, I just got a Facebook, and I have NO idea how to work this thing.

I don't know what the bumper stickers are, the poke me thingy, the wall page, and copaired friends. Pretty much everything !

So if anyone could help me learn this site, and anything else I'd really appreciate it.


Thank youuu !

Take a look at the faq and read it for some answers to things.

Otherwise its kinda hard to explain some of the applications on Facebook, except for things you described. I never heard of the bumper stickers. "Pokes" are basically there to let you know those people are in your friends list or just to annoy you. Comparing friends is an application you add to take quizzes so you can "compare" results with your friends.

Just basically add apps and stuff and read about what they do and how they work and you'll be okay.

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I scold my toddler a few times a day for trying to play in the toilet and putting things in the toilet. will this make it harder to potty train him when the time comes? I feel like he will think he needs to always stay away from the toilet. thanks

Personally I think it shouldn't matter, as long as he knows what he's being scolded for. Don't yell at him and not let him understand why he's being yelled at. If you scold him and show what he's doing wrong, he'll begin to understand not to that one thing again.

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Can someone please give me some insight about the truth on coffee? One minute I hear its good for you , has antioxidants and speeds up metabolism thus helping with weightloss, then I hear that it is bad because it is acidic, and the acids in coffee make your body produce more fat cells...help?

Sure coffees okay for you, but in small doses. The caffiene in it has adverse affects and can become addicting if consumed too much. It turns your teeth yellow, it makes your breath smell, and all kinds of other stuff. Not a good option for weight loss

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my best friend is trying to turn everyone against me. she stabbed me in the back. she was a bitch the whole time my mom hated her and she made my neighbors hate us which we were friends with. she got me and my friend talking to a guy that we thought she knew and it ended up being an old guy. we got the police called and she lies to get out. she stole my friend from me before. and now stole them all. only 2 are still here and believe me.i did nnothing she did it all. but she changed the whole story around while i wasnt at school today and told everyone. my friends are gone and im in even worse depression. i dont know what to do i cant stop crying. i did nothing she did everything. people believe me but they still ignore me now. i cant take this. and i dono what to do. : (

Don't try to "steal" your friends back, this plan usually backfires in the end. Its hard to lose people you knew for a while, but sadly it happens. And you can't change that fact of life, trust me...

If you can, try to make new friends and keep them close. You can't really do anything about the people who hate you but hope that they realize their mistake and apologize or something.

To deal with the girl, you simply have to ignore her. Easier said than done, I know but it can work. Don't try to covert your old friends back, it can make her point seem more valid. If you can, ignore them too. Have fun with other friends and live like nothing changed. If you make too much of a deal about this, you'll have nothing to look forward to but grief and loss. So take in the fact you can make life better.

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Ok, I have this best friend, I'll call her Sierra. Now, Sierra is great and everything, but she's a little... well, to be honost, she's a complete poser. But instead of posing as a certain stereotype [skater, prep, emo, etc.] She copies me! She ALWAYS does what I do! Don't get me wrong, I am flattered, but it's annoying, especially when people actally believe her about things she says she does. Like art, for example. I've had a huge passion for drawing since Pre-K. My dad's side of the family were artists, so I kind of grew up around the environment. I have a sketchbook that I take to school, to doodle when I get bored in class. Ok, a few weeks ago, I had my sketchbook out in study hall and was doodling, when she comes up and asks me what i'm doing. I answered and then she goes off about how she "loves to draw too!" and "what a coincidance!". I have never, I mean NEVER, heard or saw any of this sudden artistic surge before, from her. She went on and on about how she was a "deep thinker artisticly inclined" [her exact words] person, and said she would bring her sketchbook so we could "study each other's artistic skills". Well, she goes out that night and buys her self one of those little kid's diaries, with lined, pink pages, and about the size of a regular chapter book. It was brand new, and I knew this for a fact, because it had a price tag on it.

That's just one example. Another;

My dad and I absolutely LOVE the Beatles. My dad has almost all of their cd's and some records and I've got most downloaded on my ipod. I've loved them for a while, and all my friends knew it, but until Sierra came along, no one really cared. She came along and decided she suddenly "loved the beatles" also. She only knows one song by them, but she acts like she knows all about them.

There are many other circumstances too. It has gotten to the point where she has even begun to dress like me! She wears the same shirt I do every day in gym. Don't get me wrong, it's flattering, but it's gotten to the point where it's a little infuriting. However, we happen to be best friends. I don't know how that worked out though, but we are best friends, since I DO like her as a person. It's just annoying as hell for someone to copy every move you make or thing you say. How do I let her know how much it annoys me, without actually saying it to her face? She's a tad Bipolar and gets set off very easily. I just don't want to ruin our friendship. Thanks.

I believe you still have to tell her up front whether you like it or not. I think notes/messages are sketchy and cliche. They allow you to think of what you want to say instead of downright saying it!

But yea, you prolly have to tell her upfront. Not saying you HAVE to, Im saying it will be the better option to take. By confronting her, your saying its not just something general, its important. So when you do talk to her about, keep it calm and settled so that nothing will get too out of hand. If you notice your voice is getting louder or speeding up, pause and tone it down. Remind her that everyone is an individual and that everyone like their individuality. Be patient with her, and let it take time to sink into understanding. Because if its all done right, everything will even out in the end.

I bet she has a good reason to try to like the things you like. But its a matter of communication that will let you and her know your boudaries of whats comfortable and not. And after you discuss the problem and feel like shes getting it, maybe every now and again warn her shes doing it, but dont pester her.

I wish you good luck b(^_o)

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16/f
I'm a bit overweight,but I'm technically at a "healthy weight".I still wanna lose so I can get a bf.
What would be the easiest way to lose without constantlt hitting the gym?I can't get healthy food because my mom calls me anorexic,I cant sign up for a gym either.I drink water everyday,I avoid fast food as much as I can.Any tips?
Thanks in advance :D

Well, water is good. eat salads and fruits and stuff like that. Try to avoid too many carbohydrates, those are what causes fat build up. Not fatty or oily food, but those aren't that good for you either. I would also suggest eating healthy foods despite being called anorexic. Personally I would be a smart ass and say, "anorexia is when you starve yourself, I'm eating aren't I!?" But hey, that's just me. Also try to avoid too much stress. Its a main factor with weight gain as well as laziness.

And you don't realy need to go to a gym to lose weight, taking time to jog every now and again is just as good. But depending on what parts of the body you want to lose excess fat is where you realy want to excersise. Such as the stomach, push ups and sit ups can do good. Weights can work the arms and legs.

And this is a life choice, you can't follow it and when you get to where you want to and then just stop. Then you'll have to climb up that long ladder again. So once you start, you have to keep going...

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this girl is really mean to me. & at school she's in my 5th period health class & her and her friends talk abt me.. and she bugs me in the h allways & calls me a bitch & threatens me and i told my teacher but my teacher said there's nothing she can do tht goes on outside of the classroom.. and she harasses me on facebook.. is there any wya i can block on facebook? & wut should i do with her bothering me at school?

If my memory is right, there is a way to block on facebook. If not you can always contact them and report abuse from that user. But that's actually the easy part...

Now for school, it can take a long time to do it even if you do everything corretly. So bare with. You should try to avoid eye contact with her and avoid her as much as possible. Ignoring her comments and stuff is what most will say, but its really hard. So I suggest a book or doodling or writing something. Anything that keeps you busy and your mind off her. After sometime, things should die down to not so often. But if she continues and nothing anyone else suggests works, get some friends who will back you up but won't resort to violence. You have to confront her and speak your mind. Avoid a fight at all costs. Violence is never the answer. If something happens in class, tell the teacher. Outside, talk to a hall monitor, security officer, couselor, dean, principal, or whoever you can.

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Im 16 going on 17 in less then a month. 7 years ago My mom pulled me away from my family to live out in another state for a guy she met. They have been divorced for two years now and I sort of built a new life here with friends a school and a boyfriend. I feel comfortable in my enviroment and safe. Now that shes lost her job and husband she feels like giving up here and now wants to drag me back to my home state for the easier way out. Im unfamiliar with my home state and feel like I don't fit in anymore. Im sick of being dragged around for her sake. She already wont let me apply for an art school I want to go to. I feel like I wont be able to do what I want in life. I dont have my permit or anything yet I'm sort of just stuck.

You have really only two choices.

Choose to accept what you have and deal with creating a new life, maybe more problems, and maybe being dragged around a little more. You never know

Or you can tell her you don't want to leave, that you might have more problems going back than staying there. That you don't want to leave your school, your friends, or your boyfriend. You don't want to have to start building another reputation after having to build it because she had to move to be with someone she left afterwards. Be assertive and if you have to raise your voice over hers, if she pulls the "I don't want to hear it" move, continue on.

Pick and choose, cause either way your going to have to deal with something somehow....

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Heyy im a 14/f and i realllllllly like this guy.like the first time i saw him, i was like WOAHHHH.But i didnt know him at all.Only his name.So my friends all knew i thought he was super hot and all, and even though at the time i didnt like him, i just thought he was cute, they told him i liked him and stuff.and he said he thought i was cute and wanted to get to know me more. :D
So i was all happy and now its been a few monthes and we're like really close.
Like i KNOw he likes me.
When he texts me, he puts like "

This will be hard, cause Ill admit I'm not much of a flirting guy... at all.(atleast I don't think) But Ill give what I can.

One thing to say is be yourself, don't try to act like all the other girls or anything. Keep in communication with him. That, even if it doesn't all work out, you can atleast be friends. Continue to be "flirty" but don't throw yourself at him. If you want to, take it further yourself. Sometimes the guy is too afraid to do it and accidentally go too far. Or don't know if the girl likes him back. Either or, you might have to do it yourself, so be ready.

I'm not making any promises to any results, but I can tell you it can all work out if you do things the right way and don't put him in a position that makes him uncomfortable...

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hi okay so i have a boyfriend and weve been together for 9 months and these past couple of month have been amazing for us. like i love him alot but the thing is, i stopped talking to all my friends and so did he. like we didnt completly isolate ourselves or anyhting its just, whenever im chilling with my friends or something i always find myself trying to find him. its not like we ditched them or anyhting but im in my last year of highschool i have a couple months of school left, and honestly the only thing that matter to me in my life right now is my family, homework, and my boyfriend. me and boyfriend just click so well and hes my best friend before everything else so thats why its so amazing between us. do you think im totally insane for not wanting to chill with my friends and i should distance myself from him? or has this happend to any of you guys? anything would be greatly appreciated.

Personally I think its great you guys work so well with each other and want to be together as often as possible. But keep in mind other friends are almost just as important. Cause there will eventually be times you just don't want to see his face or talk to him, and without other friends, your stuck being alone to boil in your problems. I still think its great you guys build the foundation of your relationship higher and higher, but other relationships are needed as well...

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How are fruit flies created? Do they meed a girl to make another fruit fly or can they just produce them by themselves? I don't know how but fruit flies started getting into our house. We have no visable food because we left them all in the fridge and we kill like 10 a day! Just when I think it's the end another one shows up and brings 3 friends! Is there something else i haven't tried yet?

They're driving me nuts, one kept flyign around my head while I was doing homework and I'm just a grouchy person at school these days because of it. I loose my appetite when I see one too!

Thank you so much if you answer this. And i could search up the first questions on the internet but I dont't want to take the chances of seeing pictures of those nasty things.

Not to be slightly sick or anything, but there might be something dead in the house. But of course its only a possibility. I would suggest a Venus Flytrap or some other kind of bug catcher(that doesn't require you to see the flies die). Zappers work but its best to have them outside(which BTW might help). Get something that will kill them off over a long period of time. And if they still show, its best to call your local exterminator and explain the problem. They can give you the best advice on pest control.

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I have a co-worker with bad body odor. The entire staff has noticed it and it's been mentioned it to our managers who don't know what to do either. Hints (even major ones) just haven't worked ... what can we do?

Personally I would straight up tell it. Offended or not, he should be profesional and atleast find something that will mask the B-O if not rid it. And if he is offended, he can go ahead and write a complaint to the General Manager.

If that doesn't get through, get sticks of deodorant and put them on his desk or something. Like, tons of them. Get anything that can get rid of the smell, even if you have to spray Frebreeze on him to "eliminate odors from the air". Even some body wash can help a little...

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Well there is this guy that if have beent alking to since the end of october, the thing is that he asked me out on valentines day i know what a clische but yeah and now he is honestly pissing me off like hard core!!! before we went out he had a girlfirend and i must admit i was talkign to him before his girl and during but the thing is that he todl me that when he broke up with her it had nothing to do with me but then he told a friend that the stars (dancers hated me bc of that) but then now he tells me that i am mainly the reason!!! is that liek sayuing im the whole reason?

Yea, he basically lied to you and himself. He probobaly thought that at first you weren't the reason, but after time passed, he concluded it was. Not saying that it actually was your fault, I'm saying he believes that. and if it seriously pisses you off, dump him. Its bad enough for him to have dumped his last girlfriend because he thought he could have something better...

Because if you continue the relationship, you not only have the ex to deal with, there's a possibility he'll dump you for someone else too, and then you'll have more problems. Not saying he will, but its possible. So I think its better to end it now and not suffer as many consequences as having it end later....

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I have an aunt who is mentally disabled. She constantly needs someone to take care of her because she can't do anything on her own. She used to live with my grandfather, who took complete care of her. Now, my grandfather passed away, and everyone's wondering, who's going to be respinsible for her now? She has five older brothers and three older sisters (including my mom), so our family is very large. Anyway, now my uncles are litterally trying to push the responsibility on my mother. She's doing practically everything for her! But I know that my mother can't handle it because she can hardly take care of me and my two sisters. But for some reason, my uncles think that my mom is the best person out of EIGHT FREAKIN' PEOPLE to take care of my aunt (even though she's third to youngest.) What should we do now? We don't want to just say no because we might cause a big fight within the family. But at the same time,we have no choice. All my other uncles and aunts don't seem to be doing a thing for her. It's not fair. What should we do now? Thanks

I would say take care of her as much as possible, and get your whole family(meaning any siblings if you have) to help along. The more care from you guys she gets, the better she'll be. Im quite it would much better than sending her to a retirement home for senior citizens.

But when she passes away there maybe a possibility that the family will blame it on your mother. I'm not sure it would happen, but I'm giving a warning based on what I got from your explanation. And even if this doesn't happen, most her things should be willed to your part of the family for doing so much for her. Which, in turn, will allow you to keep all the sentimental belongings while the others have to rely on memories, unless you guys are feeling forgiving for getting the load thrown on you...

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ok so i am 22 and he is 29. I dont mind the age difference because my parents are 10 years apart and they married when mum was 25 and dad at 35... oh and they are happy! anyway... so we met through mutual friends during our dads' company dinner once. (all kids old and young are forced to go) anyway so i knew everyone was trying to set us up and all and he seemed like he liked that though so he was being very open and talkative and inquisitive. thing is i am not usually like this but i froze like hells gone blue froze!

then he kept trying to call and all after but we were having such a busy month after that with my cousins baby shower and birth (i mean she's like a sister and we were basically part of her immediate family) so i was always canceling and avoiding and stuff so i guess he took it as a hint.

a coupla months after he added me on facebook. so i just added him back as friends nothing more or less... thing is, its like he added me just to view my profile and how i interact with people and see what kind of mentality i have.... i don't know how long after he just limited his profile to me.. i did the same because i mean i gave him the chance to view who i am when on a normal day... thing is i don't feel comfortable with him there... its like a stranger on my list you know? he doesnt talk he doesn't interact in any way (i tried inviting him to causes and sending him some of the funny funwalls once in a while so as not to be one of hose people who flood your wall) but still nothing.........

i am not sure what to do... talking/messaging/posting on his wall/ or anything that involves direct communication is out of the question....
should i just delete him?

Seems kinda stalkerish if you read it over again. I would suggest not doing anything, if not already setting to a limited profile. Some people tend to be idle on facebook for a long time so you should check the updates board and make sure he actually does stuff.

But if it seriously bothers you, send him a message saying so and either wait or delete.

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I'm gonna try and give as many details as possible. And no he's not a player. Not a flirt-with-everyone type of guy either.

So here are some facts.
-We both go to a french school, so if you see your friends, you do the air cheek kissing thing. Usually you do it in the morning when you first see them, and then after school, when saying bye. Me and him do it whenever we see each other.
-Today I was walking next to him when we went to our lockers and we were laughing and flirting a bit. I was on the left and he was on the right, but my lockers were to the right so I started pushing him that way, but he just grabbed me and was hugging me really tightly for a bit.
-He always comes over to talk if he sees me around
-We have English together and we always mess around together.
-We flirt..quite a lot.
-I always catch him looking at me during lessons or at breaks or whatever.
-My friend, who I sit next to in English tends to be absent a lot, so I'm left on my own. He sometimes leaves his friends and comes to sit next to me, or he won't let me pass, and makes me sit next to him.

Yeah, I'm French, but more English based. and He's German.
We speak English together...he can speak it decently...but it's incredibly sexy when he talks it :D

So do you think he's interested in me or just casual flirting?

Also, I'd appreciate answers in English, because I haven't read properly in French for 4 years now.

Heck yea hes interested! Shows all the signs, you both like eachother, hangs with you a lot, etc. No doubt about it.

But the next question is, will you wait for him to take it further, or will you do it...

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15/f

I have fallen extremely hard for this guy. And my friend did too. I now realize it isn't going to work out between him and me, and he really isn't that great of a person anyway. The problem is, I just can't seem to get over him. I still think about him non-stop, and I always end up feeling miserable because I know I can't have him. I really just want this to end. So how do I get over him?

Also, I'd really like to find someone new, but I don't even know when to begin even more. Can I have some ideas on how to do that? And something other than join a club please, because I plan on doing that already.

Your problem is that you think you can't get over him, which in turn causes your life to connect a series of events to further that thought. So lets move off of theories and on to a solution. A club is good and all, but it doesn't help if you still see him a lot during other times. It will just make your head spin with thoughts you don't want.

And the solution to problems like these tend to be just as hard if not harder. But I'm not trying to discourage you from trying, I'm simply warning you that you'll have to go with any advice anyone gives you through and through or have to settle with being depressed all the time.

Best thing I would suggest is to try and push him out of your mind, and maybe your life if you have to. Which means you should start avoiding him. If he goes a certain route to class that passes you, find another one. Find distractions that keep your mind off him like HW or a book or talking to friends. If you se him at the corner of your eye, look away or don't even notice. The sooner you can stop seeing him or paying attention to where he is and stuff, the sooner his image will fade away in your mind.

I personally hate giving this type of advice, but it tends to work. Although I suggest taking someone elses advice if it seems more optimistic than what I suggest...

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