about

I'm Jack/Jamie.

I'm 28 years old. I graduated from Michigan State University with my Bachelor of Science in Chemistry. GO GREEN! Now I'm a high school chemistry teacher in New York City living with my husband in a small studio apartment we pay way too much money for.

I've been on this site for 14 years as of March 23, 2020.
You may have seen me as CuxMiBeckNow7, but I've since shortened my name.


my forum
My FAQ






Here is my Recommended Columnist of the Decade for the 2020s:
Laura!




--Jack

advice

I'm 15 years old, and im currently with someone that is 31, And I can honestly say I have VERY strong feeling for him. I know that sounds SO bad, if someone ever told me that I would be speechless. I also im aware that it is illegal. But I am very mature for my age, and im not satisfied being with guys my age. Their just way to immature. I just would like some feedback on what you guys think? (Please no rude comments) Thanks!

I will try not to be rude. I am also a proponent of the "age is just a number" rule, but that's for ages that are relatively close to each other, like within ten years AT MOST.

He is more than double your age and yes, it is very illegal.

There are plenty of guys out there who are your age and very mature. Just be patient =].

--Jack
(16/m)

[view]

I am uber excited for the movie but I know that the last book just came out. Are all four books going to be included in the movie? I would appreciate any more info you have. Thanks!

For sure the movie is only the first book in the series. If the movie does well enough, I doubt they would pass up making the other three.

--Jack
(16/m)

[view]

Okay so there's this guy I like. I know he knows. And when it comes to guys that I like, I'm super shy...Okay maybe a little more than shy...more like a nervous wreck! But, like I said, it only happens around guys I like. Any other time I'm extremely outgoing and most of my friends say I have a bubbly personality!
So anyway, I tend to hide behind my friends when I'm around him, I try to be slick when I'm "checking him out". But he caught me staring today. I turned "as red as a firehydrant" my friend said. And I kept peeking at him, looking down at the ground and then peeking a look at him. He is deffinately the type of guy I'd like to date but I just don't know how to approach him. Can you give me some tips?

Start a conversation!

Here's how:

www.wikihow.com/Start-a-Conversation-When-You-Have-Nothing-to-Talk-About

1. Always start off with something that others don't use often. Example: You see a girl in a bar and she's sitting with some friends. You walk up to her and say, "I would like to sit with you, but before I sit down, what are you drinking?" "Bud Light (insert drink)? Good choice. I'll be back with 2 Bud Lights (insert drink) and I'll hope that this seat isn't taken when I get back."
2. Start with a "hello," and simply tell the new person your name then ask them theirs. Offer your hand to shake, upon his/her responding to you. (If you go to other countries, greet the person in tune with the particular culture, e.g. in India greet by saying 'namaste' with folded hands). If you already know the person, skip this step and proceed to step 3.
3. Look around. See if there is anything worth pointing out. Sure, talking about the weather is a cliche, but if there's something unusual about it--bam!--you've got a great topic of conversation.
4. Offer a compliment. Don't lie and say you love someone's hair when you think it's revolting, but if you like his or her shoes, or a handbag, say so. A sincere compliment is a wonderful way to get someone to warm up to you. But be careful not to say something so personal that you scare the person off or make him or her feel uncomfortable. It is best not to compliment a person's looks or body.
5. Ask questions! Most people love to talk about themselves --- get them going. "What classes are you taking this year?" "Have you seen (Insert-Something-Here)? What did you think of it?" Again, keep the questions light and not invasive. Do not ask too many questions if he or she is not responsive to them.
6. Jump on any conversation-starters he or she might offer; take something he or she has said and run with it. Agree, disagree, ask a question about it, or offer an opinion, just don't let it go by without notice.
7. Look your newfound friend in the eye, it engenders trust (but don't stare). Also, use the person's name a time or two during the conversation; it will help you remember the name, and will draw the person's attention to what you are talking about.
8. Don't forget to have fun with your conversation!


Tips

* Just relax. Chances are that whatever small-talk you're making isn't going to stick out in anyone's mind a few months from now. Just say whatever comes into your head, so long as it's not offensive or really weird. (Unless, of course, the person you're attempting to converse with is into weird stuff.)
* Remember, if you think of something in your head while you're talking, it's probably related.
* It will help if you watch some TV, listen to radio shows, and/or read a lot -- newspapers, magazines, and/or books. You need to have some idea of what is going on in the world.
* If you are shy, it will be helpful to have thought about a topic or two that you could talk about.
* Follow the lead that your listener is expressing. If he or she appears interested, then continue. If he or she is looking at a clock or watch, or worse, looking for an escape strategy, then you have been going on for too long.
* Interesting and funny quotes or facts can lighten things up, and make way for things to talk about.
* If talking over the phone, keep the person involved in the conversation at all costs. If you can't come up with a good topic, try the "questions" game. Just keep asking them questions; random questions work just fine as long as they are appropriate. This technique can save a phone conversation. The questions should be open ended questions that do not require a yes or no answer. For example "How do you know the hosts?" This way you can ask questions about what they just said or follow up with how you know the hosts (for example) instead of acting as if the conversation is an interrogation.
* Half of an effective conversation is the way you non-verbally communicate, and not necessarily what you say. Practice better non-verbal skills that are friendly and confident.
* Read newspapers and magazines to increase your knowledge so you can have more interesting things to talk about


Warnings

* Don't be overly invasive with questions.
* Don't use tons of fillers like "umm" or "soo". It might make the person you're talking to feel awkward or obligated to say something. Instead talk slowly and pause. This will create a little tension and make your newly found friend more invested in your conversation.
* Don't desperately ask personal questions.
* Keep eye-contact
* Don't ever comment negatively on the person or someone's looks... you never know if they have a personal attachment to it or if they are friends with the person you are criticizing




Here's how to ask him out, if that's what you want to do:

http://www.advicenators.com/qview.php?q=543173


--Jack
(16/m)

[view]

Ok this is for an assignment for school. I need to ask people of their favorite events in history and why? I need about 10 and i already have 3, but if you have more than one favorite event then feel free to tell me. So far I have:
The fall of communism
The civil war
The fall of the roman empire

I still need 7 events and reasons why...
THANKS =]

Here are a few of mine:

-July 4, 1776. For obvious reasons ;].
-January 1, 2000. It was the first day of a new millennium =].
-The invention of the internet. Especially since you wouldn't have been able to ask this question to us without it ;].
-The invention of the telephone, light bulb, and every other modern convenience, again for obvious reasons.

--Jack
(16/m)

[view]

i know this is really nasty but i have my dog eat me out.. he hasnt done it much but i wanted to know if i could get a disease or infection from having him do that? i heard dogs mouths are cleaner than a humans?

It doesn't matter if dogs' mouths are cleaner than humans. Just because your kitchen counter is cleaner than the street doesn't mean you should eat off of either of them.

What you're doing is not only illegal, but extremely strange. No offense, but if you want someone to "eat you out", have a human do it, not a dog.

I do not see at all how this could be healthy. A lot of dogs eat their own feces.

--Jack
(16/m)

[view]

im nearly 14 and my penis is just over 4 inches long is that normal? im a bit worried will it get bigger?

Yes, perfectly normal. Especially if you just started puberty.

You still have a few years left until you're fully an adult [physically, not actually].

And yes, it probably will get bigger, but there's no controlling it.

--Jack
(16/m)

[view]

Ok this has been bugging me for week now, can someone tell me what the name of the song is and if so who sings it?

it kida goes somethig like this;

Thees small hours, Thees small hours,
Thees twists and turns of faith,
.....

Thanks even for trying ppl!

http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/robthomas/littlewonders.html

Here's the full lyrics:

"Little Wonders"

Let it go,
Let it roll right off your shoulder
Don't you know
The hardest part is over
Let it in,
Let your clarity define you
In the end
We will only just remember how it feels

Our lives are made
In these small hours
These little wonders,
These twists & turns of fate
Time falls away,
But these small hours,
These small hours still remain

Let it slide,
Let your troubles fall behind you
Let it shine
Until you feel it all around you
And i don't mind
If it's me you need to turn to
We'll get by,
It's the heart that really matters in the end

Our lives are made
In these small hours
These little wonders,
These twists & turns of fate
Time falls away,
But these small hours,
These small hours still remain

All of my regret
Will wash away some how
But i can not forget
The way i feel right now

In these small hours
These little wonders
These twists & turns of fate
These twists & turns of fate
Time falls away but these small hours
These small hours, still remain,
Still remain
These little wonders
These twists & turns of fate
Time falls away
But these small hours
These little wonders still remain


Next time, please use www.azlyrics.com, it works wonders ;]

--Jack
(16/m)

[view]

okay, here it goes. so, the other day my two friends and I saw these really hot guys @ the mall and they surprisingly saw us. we kinda froze up & didn't make a move. we saw them going into the movie theatre and we thought of an idea to wait for them. sadly we waited for 2 hours and they weren't even watching a movie. they left and now all we have is regret!
What should we do next time?

Start a conversation!

Here's how:

www.wikihow.com/Start-a-Conversation-When-You-Have-Nothing-to-Talk-About

1. Always start off with something that others don't use often. Example: You see a girl in a bar and she's sitting with some friends. You walk up to her and say, "I would like to sit with you, but before I sit down, what are you drinking?" "Bud Light (insert drink)? Good choice. I'll be back with 2 Bud Lights (insert drink) and I'll hope that this seat isn't taken when I get back."
2. Start with a "hello," and simply tell the new person your name then ask them theirs. Offer your hand to shake, upon his/her responding to you. (If you go to other countries, greet the person in tune with the particular culture, e.g. in India greet by saying 'namaste' with folded hands). If you already know the person, skip this step and proceed to step 3.
3. Look around. See if there is anything worth pointing out. Sure, talking about the weather is a cliche, but if there's something unusual about it--bam!--you've got a great topic of conversation.
4. Offer a compliment. Don't lie and say you love someone's hair when you think it's revolting, but if you like his or her shoes, or a handbag, say so. A sincere compliment is a wonderful way to get someone to warm up to you. But be careful not to say something so personal that you scare the person off or make him or her feel uncomfortable. It is best not to compliment a person's looks or body.
5. Ask questions! Most people love to talk about themselves --- get them going. "What classes are you taking this year?" "Have you seen (Insert-Something-Here)? What did you think of it?" Again, keep the questions light and not invasive. Do not ask too many questions if he or she is not responsive to them.
6. Jump on any conversation-starters he or she might offer; take something he or she has said and run with it. Agree, disagree, ask a question about it, or offer an opinion, just don't let it go by without notice.
7. Look your newfound friend in the eye, it engenders trust (but don't stare). Also, use the person's name a time or two during the conversation; it will help you remember the name, and will draw the person's attention to what you are talking about.
8. Don't forget to have fun with your conversation!


Tips

* Just relax. Chances are that whatever small-talk you're making isn't going to stick out in anyone's mind a few months from now. Just say whatever comes into your head, so long as it's not offensive or really weird. (Unless, of course, the person you're attempting to converse with is into weird stuff.)
* Remember, if you think of something in your head while you're talking, it's probably related.
* It will help if you watch some TV, listen to radio shows, and/or read a lot -- newspapers, magazines, and/or books. You need to have some idea of what is going on in the world.
* If you are shy, it will be helpful to have thought about a topic or two that you could talk about.
* Follow the lead that your listener is expressing. If he or she appears interested, then continue. If he or she is looking at a clock or watch, or worse, looking for an escape strategy, then you have been going on for too long.
* Interesting and funny quotes or facts can lighten things up, and make way for things to talk about.
* If talking over the phone, keep the person involved in the conversation at all costs. If you can't come up with a good topic, try the "questions" game. Just keep asking them questions; random questions work just fine as long as they are appropriate. This technique can save a phone conversation. The questions should be open ended questions that do not require a yes or no answer. For example "How do you know the hosts?" This way you can ask questions about what they just said or follow up with how you know the hosts (for example) instead of acting as if the conversation is an interrogation.
* Half of an effective conversation is the way you non-verbally communicate, and not necessarily what you say. Practice better non-verbal skills that are friendly and confident.
* Read newspapers and magazines to increase your knowledge so you can have more interesting things to talk about


Warnings

* Don't be overly invasive with questions.
* Don't use tons of fillers like "umm" or "soo". It might make the person you're talking to feel awkward or obligated to say something. Instead talk slowly and pause. This will create a little tension and make your newly found friend more invested in your conversation.
* Don't desperately ask personal questions.
* Keep eye-contact
* Don't ever comment negatively on the person or someone's looks... you never know if they have a personal attachment to it or if they are friends with the person you are criticizing




--Jack
(16/m)

[view]

i sprained my ankle today, august 2. and i was wondering how long will it take to heal? i put ice on it, and right now it's in an ace bandage.
and also,are there any tricks to make it heal faster?

http://www.ehow.com/video_2047_treat-sprained-ankle.html


Step 1
Rest the injured ankle—-in fact, stay off the leg as much as possible.
Step 2
Ice the injury immediately, applying an ice pack for 20 minutes every hour until the swelling subsides.
Step 3
Compress the injured area with an elastic bandage to reduce swelling and immobilize the ankle. Wrap from the foot toward the knee, and be careful not to wrap so tightly that you cut off circulation.
Step 4
Elevate the leg above your heart.
Step 5
Use moist heat once swelling in the area has subsided.
Step 6
Begin using the ankle again gradually as pain decreases.



It can take anywhere from a few days to a few weeks to heal, depending on the specific sprain.

--Jack
(16/m)

[view]

I recently lost my virginty with a guy who was my boyfriend at the time but now ex! But when I was supposed to get my period I didn't. I was just wondering if your period turns "irregular" after your first time or not. Please help!!

Your period can always be irregular, especially as a teenager. I don't believe that losing your virginity does that to you.

If you stress about your period because you think you may be pregnant, it will delay even more. Just relax, wait a week or two and take a pregnancy test.

From now on, please practice safe sex.

--Jack
(16/m)

[view]

I'm so unfashionable and no one will help me... what should I do??

ou want my HONEST opinion?

Just wear what ever the heck you want- who cares what you look like- people aren't going to remember you by what you wore on the first day anymore than what you wore yesterday or any other day. What people will remember you by is how you acted as a person- not what you decided to wear to impress people. If someone is going to talk to you and hope to be your friend only because you're wearing Hollister- what kind of friend is that? One that only cares about your appearance- not your personality. That isn't someone you should try to be friends with. Wear something that makes you comfortable and something that you like. If you like what you're planning on wearing- then so be it. Don't wear it for the wrong reasons.

Rate me low or whatever- but what I just said is something you needed to hear, whether you'll admit it or not.

Wear what you want and make your OWN style. =]

--Jack
(16/m)

[view]

im 14 and i started masturbating about 6 months ago and now i do a lot a couple of times it takes awhile before my penis gets hard is that normal?

Yes. The more you do it in one day the harder it is to do it again.

Try taking more time between.

--Jack
(16/m)

[view]

I want my mom to get me yaz, the birth control but not because I want "birth control" I want it to regulate my period. I don't know how to ask my mom because she is just going to say, " thats just an excuse to have sex." and im not sexually active. Does anyone have any suggestions on how I should ask her?

Approach her in a mature way. If you approach her in a childish and complaining manner, she won't budge.

Look her straight in the eyes and tell her that the only reason you want yaz is for the period regulation. If you don't have a boyfriend, and you've never given any reason for your parents to suspect that you are having sex, I don't see how she wouldn't believe you as long as you look her in the eyes. If she doesn't believe you, there's really nothing else you can do, and complaining to her about it will definitely not help.

--Jack
(16/m)

[view]

what happens if the condom breaks?

Short answer, you risk pregnancy and STDs.

This is why if you're having sex, you should also try birth control.

--Jack
(16/m)

[view]

okay. so, i met this guy online. (i already know its dangerous, dont preach at me, lol.) I met him about a year and nine months ago. and he and have become best friends over that time. i also have a boyfriend who i love very much and he and i have been dating for a year and seven or eight months. well, the guy i met online sort of developed more than friend feelings for me. and, i am not going to lie, i have them for him, too. but i love my boyfriend. however, i love my best friend, too. i'm just not sure if i love him as just a best friend or both...

he knows everything about my relationship with my boyfriend, and he hates him. thats probably because my boyfriend isnt always the nicest person in the world to me. i mean, he isnt abusive or anything, just sometimes really controlling and overbearing. my best guy friend is the opposite. he is such a sweetheart. i am just so confused, though.

my boyfriend and i have also been arguing a lot and i told my bff that and he said he wants to be with me, he loves me so much, and i think i might want to be with him, too. and i told him that...and now he wants me to choose between him and my boyfriend...and it is hard. i dont know what to do.

i seriously think about my best guy friend all the time. every day. maybe even more than my boyfriend...and my boyfriend doesnt even know about him =(. if he did he would break up with me.

should i break up with my boyfriend and be with my best guy friend, who my feelings are growing for by the minute? or stay with my boyfriend and crush my best guy friend?

oh. btw, my boyfriend and i are 17 and my bff is 18. my bff lives about 4 or 5 hours away and my boyfriend is thinking about moving in with me...but if he doesnt he will live about 3 hours away.

thanks for your help

You have to answer this question for me:

If your best friend was not in the picture, would you be doubting your relationship with your boyfriend right now?

If the answer is yes, then I say break up with him. You said it yourself, he can be controlling and overbearing, which may become conflict later in your relationship.

If the answer is no, then you have some thinking to do. If you weren't doubting your relationship before, or at least, if you weren't realizing how poorly he treats you before your best friend, well then I would say you should stay with your boyfriend, but if you were realizing how poorly he treats you, but not doubting the relationship, then that's where it gets tough.

I say if you really feel like you would be happier with your best friend, and you feel like you could really hold a long-distance relationship with him, I say why not try it? It could be the best decision you ever make. Life is about making decisions and living with them. You just have to decide who you see yourself with in the long-run: your boyfriend now or your best friend.

--Jack
(16/m)

[view]

i was dating this guy, let's name him buttercup. we WERE supposed to go out, but then he was pretty busy with summer school and all of that stuff. and then, i didn't really like him anymore, so i told him so i wouldn't lead him on or anything. and i told him the reason why i started not liking him anymore, and ever since.. i haven't talked to him. it's almost been two months now. on the same day i told him, we decided to stay away from each other for a month or two because we noticed that we were just rushing into our feelings and we didn't take our time getting to know each other and all of that. so we stopped talking for a while, and my best friend was there for me. and let's just call him, blossom. and then i started liking blossom... and then i went out with blossom later on. and then buttercup went around telling people that i "played him, ditched him, then went out with another guy". i'm not a player or anything like that, because at least i didn't talk to him at the same time as blossom... because i couldn't get over buttercup, blossom was there for me. and it's about a month now since i've talked to him. and the thing is... i want us to still be friends, but i'm not sure if he's still mad at me or anything. but like he says "the past is the past". i know i have to message him.. and he'd probably want an explanation.. but what is there to explain?

what should i say to him? this is bothering me.. i don't want us to become enemies.. i want us to talk as friends. i don't want to talk to him after me and blossom breaks up, because that'd just be weird. what should i say? PLEASE & THANK YOU!

You've already explained to "buttercup" why you didn't rush into dating him, and it seems like both of you agreed to not talk for awhile for the sake of sparing awkwardness.

Therefore, he can't be mad at you for dating someone else. That's just jealousy, and that emotion is hardly ever justified.

If you want to be friends with him, tell him. If he thinks you should still talk about what happened with you two, and you feel comfortable doing that, then do it, then after that, forget about it and just be friends without thinking about your past. I have a friend right now who is actually one of my best friends who I used to like three years ago, and we didn't talk for almost three months, but we ended up forgetting about how I liked her [I don't anymore] and we just focused on having a good time together.

--Jack
(16/m)

[view]

ok i need awnsers for this please....this is very blunt .. ok im 21 ive had 7 sexual partners. everytime ive had sex ive never bled except twice when i started my period during it but ive never bled during any sexual contact. i just got off my period about a week and a half ago and tonight me and my b/f were messing around and he was fingering me really hard and i started to bleed...not like period colored blood it was like bright red and i started to feel a little diffrent after that but not like crampy feeling and i didnt bleed for a long time...mabe like an hour or less tops... is it possible i got my cherrie popped??

Yes, it is very likely. And since you've had seven sexual partners, it's also likely that your hymen has been broken prior to this.

--Jack
(16/m)

[view]

HEy do guys get upset if a girl is really athletic and is really better than they are does that turn a guy away? And do guys hate when a girl is really competitive?

Generally it doesn't unless they are always rubbing how much better they are at sports and such in my face. Like if they are big and buff and just go around strutting it, then it's a huge turn off. If the girl is just stronger and doesn't really make anything of it, that's fine.

Competitiveness is fine to an extent. If the girl makes everything a competition and cannot stand to lose, then yes, it is a huge turn off. But a little competition never hurt anyone, so when it's toned down, it's fine.

--Jack
(16/m)

[view]

is it normal for a 13 year old guy(me) to have never been in a fight, be really sensitive(cry when im angry and when im pissed off/annoyed) and just weird things like that

You remind me of myself, because I was and still am exactly like you.

I've never been in a physical fight [I think it's stupid and pointless], and as much as I don't like to admit it, I am sensitive and I used to cry a lot more about almost everything, but now it's died down a bit.

You're perfectly normal, and don't let people tell you that you aren't. Because there are a lot of guys out there like you, and like I said, I'm one of them xD.

--Jack
(16/m)

[view]

What do guys like in a girl?

Guys like girls who are confident in themselves.

Guys like girls who are individuals without being too weird.

Guys like girls who are smart.

Guys like girls who are well-rounded.

Guys like girls who are willing to carry on a conversation.

Basically it differs for every guy, but generally, that's what guys think.


I myself like any type of girl. I honestly don't judge looks as much as I do personality. If a girl is absolutely stunningly beautiful, but she's a bitch- why would I like her? What would our relationship be? What would we talk about? Her latest hair extensions? Yeah- that would be REALLY nice *Sarcasm: Party of one!*...
If a girl has a really nice personality- and she's really outgoing and sweet and nice and smart- and she's not necessarily the best looking girl- but she's not super unattractive- then I'll most likely want to date her over the beautiful bitch.


--Jack
(16/m)

[view]

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