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Age difference.
I'm 15 years old, and im currently with someone that is 31, And I can honestly say I have VERY strong feeling for him. I know that sounds SO bad, if someone ever told me that I would be speechless. I also im aware that it is illegal. But I am very mature for my age, and im not satisfied being with guys my age. Their just way to immature. I just would like some feedback on what you guys think? (Please no rude comments) Thanks!
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Usually, I'm all for love and age is just a number, but you have to draw the line somewhere. I don't think this relationship is right. I'm not at all trying to be rude, but he's old enough to be your father.
How would you feel if your dad was dating one of your friends?
-Laura. (16-f)
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Age is not just an arbitrary number; it’s a solid gauge for life-experience and a loose one for self-awareness.
That’s why this is wrong. That is why you know this wrong, and illegal. Because no matter what you do, or how you swing this, you CANNOT communicate as equals in a relationship when you are 15 and he is 30.
I can state with utter confidence that most normal, well-adjusted 30 year old men would run to the nearest psychologist if they ever seriously thought about having a relationship with a 15 year old. Sex, sure, but not a relationship.
Of course, that has nothing to with you! I’m sure you are an amazing and desirable young lady, but A 30 year old who would want to be with a young teen has some really unsettling demons lurking around. Mentally healthy 30 year old men don’t troll for dates at the local high school.
A 30 year old who thinks a romantic relationship with a young teen is okay is immature, probably an under-achiever, and damn likely a control freak to boot, and that is the best case scenario! The worst case scenario is that he has a thing for young flesh and will use you, and then dump you when you become too old for him.
There really isn’t another explanation. If he was mentally sound, and didn’t have issues with control or fetishes for teenage sex… he’d date someone his own age, so as not to go to jail! No matter how you swing it, no matter how wonderful you are, when he first realized that he was attracted to you the risk of being with you outweighed all possible benefits for him, unless he not mentally sound.
Again, I’m sure you are a wonderful young lady and very desirable, but just because guys your own age are idiots (and yeah, they generally are) doesn’t make this okay. Nothing makes it okay. You are being victimized by an unhealthy older man.
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Because you're fifteen, this seems like a much bigger issue, rather than if you were say, fourty five and he was sixty one. It's common, when people age, that age dosen't seem to matter much anymore. It's just standing out here, because you're so young, and he really DOES seem old enough to be your father. Seeming so young, people will think you're just being immature, and he's just using you, because at his age he should know how this looks if you guys are actually taking your relationship anywhere.
As mature as you are for your age, I'm warning you that the people around you will probably see what you're doing as the complete opposite, and rather say it's very IMMATURE. I can't really question your feelings, and I don't know how he feels about you, I'm just saying that other people will see this as a danger to you and probably be against it. Just make sure you're prepared for this discrimination if you decide to take this anywhere. If you think these feelings are worth the tough times, that's your choice.
Also, guys your age may seem immature at this point, but remember, it's probably because they ARE. Not as an insult to guys, but this is when they're actually maturing! While their bodies are going through changes, so are their minds. Remember, they're a little behind us in this sense, and they will grow up within the next few years.
If you really think it's going to work with this guy, wait it out. That will prove how strong your feelings are, and will make things a lot easier on the both of you. He could be arrested, and his reputation could be ruined if people found out he was with a minor (as mature and great as you may be), and it could strain your relationship. Try to wait for the age of consent, at least, and see if things have withstood time/issues/etc.
In this time, you'll be able to see how the guys your age have actually grown up. It seems like they're all immature now, but believe me they'll grow up, and you'll see that they're not all so bad!
XOXO
KAT.
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Honestly, I don't see how you or anyone could be attracted to someone that is old enough to be your father. But, it is your life & your decisions and I'm not here to judge you. If you do want my opinion however, I've seen a lot of cases like these when girls date guys 20-40 years older than them, because they never had a father figure in their life and that "guy" makes them feel special like a father should excluding the "relationship part." I'm not sure what your case is, or what your life has been like. But in my eyes, if you love someone you shouldn't let age, race, height, weight, gender, or any other that stop you. But you are only 15, and you have a whole life ahead of you to find your soulmate. Don't settle down at this young of an age. Hope I helped hun, I was just giving my honest opinion.
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I will try not to be rude. I am also a proponent of the "age is just a number" rule, but that's for ages that are relatively close to each other, like within ten years AT MOST.
He is more than double your age and yes, it is very illegal.
There are plenty of guys out there who are your age and very mature. Just be patient =].
--Jack
(16/m)
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ok, ive been a fairly big proponent of age is just a number, but seriously, thats way beyond pushing it. he is twice your age, and is old enough to be your (irresponsible) father. im sure there are some mature guys your age, or some mature guys that are more reasonably close to your age.
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