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I hope that if you come to this site, you feel at least some reassurance. Life is messy, life isn't perfect, and I love that there is a place, virtual as it is that can acknowledge this. I don't pretend to be perfect or know everything, but I promise that if you ask me a question, or if I see one and take an interest, I will answer it as best I can.Check out my forum here:
http://www.advicenators.com/talkaboutme.php?userboard_id=41589
to post/comment on a topic =]
advice
Hi! Well, I'm 14/f. I've been working out, eating healthy, ya know. well, When I work out, I don't feel like I'm doing much. I'm kinda big, and trying to loose weight. The things I do when I work out are palaties, walk/run/jog on treadmil, weights, sit-ups, push-ups. So I do a lot, and I work out 5 times a week, so why aren't I seeing any results or feeling anything? How many months does it take to start seeing results? thanks!
The truth is that results will come a lot slower than you would think from all the weight loss hullaballoo on the tv/radio/magazine stands. What you are doing is excellent, and much better than any kind of quick diet because whatever you loose fat/weightwise you will not instantly gain back.
The most you could probably realistically expect to lose would be something like a pound or so a week.
Just a side tip, though, if you don't feel like you are doing much, you could try to up the intensity of what you are doing. Admittedly, though, you are doing exactly what you should be doing. There is no month where you will notice some kind of massive change, but every week should be a bit better, you'll be able to run for a bit longer, and then after a while you'll start to actually see the changes in your body.
okay so last week i had sex with this guy and he used a condom and all and we were at it for like 2 hours. so yesterday i noticed that there was something like a pimple down there almost near the entrance of the vagina.. i didnt see it but i like felt it with my finger. so anyways, what could that bump be from? oh and he also said he used like 5 condoms throughout the 2 hours if that helps ..
If you used condoms the entire time, and if you used them properly, likely it is not an STD.
Most probably, you are overreacting and it is just a pimple, or an ingrown hair if you shave down there.
If by some freak chance something went wrong with the condom, the bump could be a genital wart - which is an STD. Basically, genital warts are a series of bumps caused by a sexually transmitted virus.
Likely, it is just a pimple, but if you are really concerned you can go to your gynecologist to get it checked out.
This boy that Ive liked for 10 months hasnt talked to me in a long time.We used to talk all the time but now he just ignores me.And whenever he sees me he stares at me for a long time.My sister says that he likes me.What do you think and why?
As none of us are in your situation and know said guy, it's very difficult to understand why this boy suddenly has started ignoring you. If he liked you, he probably would spend more time trying to talk to you, unless he is more shy and insecure.
Be friendly with this guy, and just go up and talk to him when you notice him staring. He may be staring for any number of reasons - if he looks embarrassed/looks away quickly after you catch him he probably likes you.
The only way to know anything for sure is to talk to him. Be friendly and laid back, start with casual conversation/small talk and see what happens. Only then will you be able to tell if you've done something to make him glarey and avoiding of you, or if he is staring at you because he likes you and is too shy to say anything.
okay so i was with this guy and like almost everyday usually 2 times a day for like 3 in a half months we had sex.. and i havent had sex in like 6 months soo my question would be.. i have a new boyfriend and were ready to take it to the next level hes a virgin and hes a little smaller than my boyfriend was so do you think.. he would think im lose? im just afraid of that.. since hes smaller dick wise?.. or do guys not really notice that? i dont know
Having sex does not make your vagina muscles looser. This is a myth. If anything, they become tighter because sex gives them a bit of a workout. The only way your vagina could become looser from sex would be if your previous boyfriend had an enormous penis, or if sex caused you to go through childbirth.
Your boyfriend will not notice anything wrong with your vagina, as there is nothing wrong with your vagina. If anything, the fact that he's smaller and a virgin may give him feelings of insecurity; that's something that may be an issue and may be something to calm his nerves on.
Dear Dish-It,
I really like this one boy, and he found out 2 months ago. After he found out he got all distant, and then this month, he started talking to me and even (maybe) flirting. He smiles alot more around me, and is alot nicer. What's his deal? does he like me or does he just want to be friends Please help! Thanks!
Compare the way he was acting before you "confessed" and now. It could be that he is liking you back and now being flirty. However, it may also mean that he is now getting over the awkwardness and just trying to be himself around you/ act naturally again.
Take it slow, and avoid outright confessing to him again, which may scare him off. The flirting is a good sign; keep flirting back, ask him if he'd like to go out casually some time after school, and see what happens.
Good luck=]
I know Hitler violated the Versailles Treaty. I know HOW he did it. What i don't know is WHY no country held him accountable for it/ stopped him?
England? USA? France? Any of the hundreds of countries who knew what was going on!! What were their reasons for not doing anything?
World War 1 was supposed to be the first and last great war. Everyone did have an idea what was happening with Hitler, but they didn't want to go to war because they knew how devastating way was, and how it is often fought for the wrong reasons.
WW1 was started by the Germans attempting to invade France, and turned into a global war. When politicians of the late 30s looked back on this event, they realized that this war was really over land, and basically completely pointless. The entire thing was fought in trenches over a few hundred kilometers of mud (or some other relatively small amount).
When the Germans again invaded various parts of Europe, it didn't seem to be, at first, serious to start such a potentially devastating global war on. As opposed to starting a war, the English and Canadian Prime minister decided to negotiate with Hitler. Hitler would tell them something, eg. that he would not invade Belgium, and then he would. Political leaders did not expect him to outright lie like that.
As well, Hitler was allowed to have such a control over his own people because the Germans were bitter over the unfair conditions imposed on them by the treaty of Versailles. Hitler won these people over by convincing them that he hated the treaty and would make Germany great again. He was also an amazing orator - anyone who listened to him was pretty much brainwashed into doing whatever he said.
So I think this guy may like me. He's two years older than me. And he's been texting me, aiming, and messaging me alot lately. And last night he asked me if I was going to the valentines dance or not, and i said i don't know and i dont have a date, but maybe. He agreed with me and also said he didnt know if he was going either. But it sounded like he wanted to ask me to the dance, but the dance is on Saturday, and I'm not totally sure if he's going to ask me or not. What should I do?
Why not ask him?
Or, if this is awkward, you could say something like "yeah so I've decided I want to go... are you sure you're not coming?"
He may or may not have been trying to ask you. Remember that guys can also get shy and awkward about asking people out the same as girls can.
My b.f and I have been dating for 10 months and we are really in to each other. Have even made plans for our future. The thing is that hes so ambitious! Were both in our second year of univ. so we both work pretty hard. Thing is that he also has a new part time job thats making him work late hours. I am afraid im not going to see him as much and that our relationship could suffer. Am i being selfish and what should i do? Oh and hes missing out on valentines day this Thursday cause he works. Our first valentines together as well. Im a little down about it.
It can sound selfish or concerned depending on how you approach it. For example, coming up to him and either accusing him of working long hours or suggesting he quit would probably be a bad idea. However, it would probably be a good idea if you, in a loving, concerned way, brought up how sad you are about missing valentine's day together, and about not getting to see him as much.
Likely, he will be feeling similar things, and appreciate that you care about how much you see him and such. While cutting down hours may or may not be an option, try not to directly suggest he cut these hours down. Brainstorm together ways that would keep your relationship just as strong and close, for example, emailing and calling when you can't see him, or having a valentine's day date on another day. He may or may not solve the work issue on his own, but either way that is ultimately for him to decide.
im 14/f ok
and my current bf is 14/m. ok so we have been going out for about 2 weeks now and so far i have seen him every day! i usually go out with guys from other schools so i don't have to see them every day bc that makes it mean more when you do see him. and its almost valentines day and he wants this shirt but to tell you the truth i could care less about what he wants! im not really in to him. hes not my type at all.. i don't think im over my ex Patrick ether! witch sucks even more. bc he was the first kiss first love and what not! it hurts not to be with Patrick. every time i am with andy i end up thinking about Patrick and it pretty much makes me cry! i can't be with andy any more bc im not over Patrick at all.. but if we break up then theres no friendship bc he isn't friends with any of his ex's witch sucks bc i want to be his friends but he hates them!ah:[ it makes me cry even though i don't even like him like that!
so how do i break up with him or should i give him a week or two?
If you are this sure that this guy isn't right for you, it's better to break up now than lead him on further. Yes, it is approaching valentine's day, but it's better anyway to just get it over with than keep hanging on to something that you really don't want to have.
Explain to him a little of what you wrote here, but be nicer about it. Something like "I'm really sorry, but I don't think I'm over my ex yet. I don't think it would be fair to you if I keep dating you." Then try to avoid him for a bit so you can both move on.
Hey! Well, I get inspiration from a store some might know as Zara. They've got great clothes and the store atmosphere is very welcoming. I was just wondering exactly how old do you have to be to work at Zara because it would be a dream to be apart of its staff.
Thanks. Much
Most stores start hiring people at sixteen, however it is possible to get a job earlier than that as long as you don't cross a certain amount of hours per week of working for them.
Call them up or go to the cashier and ask where you would go if you wanted to apply for a position. I'm sure adding the bit about loving the store and the idea of working for them would help =]
I dont understand the difference between a major and a minor in college terms!! help??
A major is worth more... ie if you want to go into a certain field you would probably major in it.
As well, majoring in a subject requires more credits than minoring in that same subject. The amount of credits needed to major or minor in a certain field usually vary depending on the subject.
i really don't think that my nerves can take it anymore. I'm going to start from the beginning because I don't think you can fully understand the problem without understanding where it came from. It all started when I was about 13 years old. I go to an all girls school and have gone there my whole life. So, yes, it was a big deal for me to socialize with boys, maybe a little bit of an even bigger deal than it is for the average person. I'm not saying that I was boy crazy, it was just that it was important to me.. well to all of us that have been going there since we were little. But, that was the age I started talking to boys. I started talking to this one boy who really liked me. My mother sat next to me telling me everything to say and do, what to tell him, and what not to tell him. I was so mad at her for it, but now I understand. I get that I was 13 and I could have done something stupid, being it that this was the first time I'd ever socialized with the opposite sex. I understand her now. But, her little experiment has gotten out of control. I'm 17 years old and she goes on my myspace every day.... let me elaborate. She is not going on there just to make sure I'm not talking to some phsyco. Let me assure you, my mother KNOWS I would never do that. She's been spying on me for four years.... remember?? I have never drank in my life or smoked!! She knows that. I'm the most responsible person she could know... I'M A CATHOLIC SCHOOL GIRL WHO WEARS KNEE HIGHS EVERY EFFING DAY, HAS ALL A'S IN EVERY CLASS, HAS OVER 200 COMMUNITY SERVICE HOURS AND A JOB!! Just so you can get a clear picture of me. My entire room and car is decorated with hello kitty and when i ask my mom to take me somewhere, it's to church. Just before you say she's trying to watch me or something. I may not be talking to strangers.... but she sure does. She goes on MY myspace to CHANGE MY WALLPAPER, CHANGE MY MUSIC, AND REQUEST FRIENDS!! Yes, she requests people that I DON'T KNOW!!
You see, about six months ago, my boyfriend broke up with me. It was extremely terrible. We were very serious and the way everything happened was just awful. I'm not going to get into details, but let's just say it was one of the worst. Anyhow, I had to go to the hospital because the a-hole caused an ulcer. Even before I met him, I always had gastric problems, but it's just that this provoked it to become a little worst.
So, now that a little time has passed, my family was trying to get me back into a social life. They've tried to introduce me to guys, try to take me here and there, and get me in the mood to go out, and I've tried. But, one day I told my mother that I didn't want to date anyone who didn't look like him because I want someone who is something like him. Whatever you may think of this, that's not he point. But, that's what I told her. She went on myspace and requested someone I don't even know just because she thought he looked like the other one. Then, today, when I'm doing my homework, she comes up to me and tells me to go on myspace to show him to me. So, I go and I see him and it turns out that he is the ugliest thing I've ever seen in my life. So, I told her thank you for her help, but I wasn't interested. Then she tells me "a-hole and his friend are flirting with these girls from the school next door. So, don't come crying to me later." Let me first tell you that the boy NEVER goes on myspace. Second of all let me tell you that he has FACEBOOK, which my mother got one just to SPY ON HIM!!! Turns out it's private, so she can't see him. My point is, she has no way of knowing that. So, let's just say that after an extremely big fight, she says she was just kidding and that she didn't mean for it to turn into an argument, that she was just testing me to see how jealous or how angry I would get.
I DONT THINK SHE UNDERSTANDS THAT I GO TO A VERY HARD SCHOOL!! The school I go to is ahead and all my courses are college courses. I'm super advanced and maybe I have to work a little harder than her. She has to come in here, while I'm trying to do my work and bother me about something stupid. Yesterday, she did the same thing, and i didn't get any work done because I was too pissed to do anything. I can't handle this anymore. I just finished my homework today, but i know i would have done so much better if I weren't fighting with her every two seconds. whatever the case may be, it's still my personal affairs and I've been very lenient as to giving her all my information. I'm tired of being humiliated like this and bothered when I'm trying to get ahead in life.... why is she doing this?? help me??
She's doing this because she's seeing things completely different than you are. She sees you being miserable with all the work you have to do, she feels sorry for you after the break-up, and now she is trying to get you to be more social, to interfere with your social life to make your life better.
It probably concerns your mother that you spend so much time on your work, and so little time socializing and getting into crazy, sketchy situations (ironically). The only thing to do to get her off your back is to acknowledge this, ie "Yes, mom, I realize I've been uptight about my life lately" and then get her to see your side.
Wait till she is in a good mood, and you aren't totally pissed off at her, and calmly explain how you feel. Tell her that it causes you more stress when she interferes with your social life, and that it does not or will not make you more social. Tell her you aren't interested in any boys right now, but that you will, say, go to the mall with your friend on Saturday.
Whatever you do, you need to make her realize that she has nothing to be concerned about, whether it be because your lifestyle doesn't bug you, or because you are solving what she perceives to be the "problem".
Other than that, there's not much you can do but ignore your mom's annoyingness. Get facebook and block her account from you, if you must use some kindof untampered online communication network, or stealthily nix the old myspace account for a new one that keeps your identity more secret.
Try your hardest not to fight with her; it will only make her more concerned and determined to be involved. If you need to, blast loud music and nod silently at you when she's being annoying and or naggy.
whats yiddish and hebrew? like, the difference
Yiddish was once upon a time spoken in Jewish ghettos in Germany. Hebrew is the traditional Jewish language that dates way back to the formation of Judaism.
I loathe silence. I cannot sleep if it is quiet.
I used to have my TV on at a low volume, and it was usually on the news, but then my TV broke, and the with the new one, there isn't a sleeptimer.
What are some soothing artists to sleep to? Nothing nature, please.
But some calming indie instrumental songs or artists.
Thank you.
Damien Rice and Snow Patrol are pretty excellent in that department.
As well, you may try checking out some sleep tapes. Think being hypnotized to sleep by listening to a tape =] really worth checking out.
Ok, so, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first actual time on Feb. 2. I really love him, and we have been together for a long time, and we were both ready. We stopped a few minutes before he came, and he had a condom. What are the chances I'm pregnant? [I'm sure you hear this all the time, but, it's a question that I feel is serious.]
Thanks.
They are 98% effective, as previously mentioned, when used with spermacidal lubricant, which most condoms come with.
I'd just like to add, though, that the 2% failure rate is more due to user stupidity (ie, using 2 condoms causing friction, using an oil-based lubricant like vasoline) than actual manufacturing errors. Although the rate is 98%, it's actually higher than that if you use condoms properly. For more info on this stuff I highly suggest checking out www.coolnurse.com .
If you're still unsure, a good test is filling the used condom(s) with tapwater and checking for leaks.
The chances that you're pregnant, though, are slim to none.
Sorry so long . important though
Well my friend is a junior in high school . I love her to death . we've known eachother ever sence kindergarden. She's been like in love with this guy ever sence 9th grade , basicly on and off and they " love " each other so they say. But she moved to NewHampsire & he lives in georgia. He does her so freaking wrong , Like there not " together " but he trys to control everythnig . He'll tell her she better not talk to any guys , smoke , drink or anythng but he's the one sleeping and dating all these girls all the bad things . & its gotten so bad to wheer my friend is suicidal about it , she tells me she wants to just die and she cuts her self but i mean theres like no way i can help & the sad thing is , is that she already goes to counciling , she takes depresant pills. idk what to do anymore ; im so scared she's going to do something & i cant stop it over a thousand miles away , she's cared to tell her mom because seh doesnt wanna get sent away but all this over a damn boy ! idk , help ?
Give her the whole "you are such and amazing person, this guy is a bastard that's not worth your time" peptalk. And then encourage her more than ever to get some sort of help.
If she's suicidal and cutting herself, there's probably more wrong with her than liking this boy. Depression's a pretty serious disorder/ whatever you want to call it, and it's pretty tough to handle all on her own.
There may be a risk that admitting herself to be suicidal would result in her being hospitalized. Basically, they monitor people who actually could kill themselves until they feel a bit better. Yes, it would suck if she got "locked up" like this, but this would only be in extreme cases. Tell her that you love her so much, and that isn't some sort of hospitalization better than having her dead?
If anything, encourage her to find some suicide hotlines to call whenever she's feeling particularly down. These people can't "lock you up" and everything is anonymous. Here's a site I found on a quick google search:
http://suicidehotlines.com/
Otherwise, all you can do is be her friend, listen to her problems, and hang in there. Often, these sorts of problems take a while to solve, but this does not mean that they are incurable.
For this guy, you can only keep telling her the obvious: he's an ass she should really forget about, and hope she listens.
please help! ok i know there are probably tons of questions about valentines day and i know i've seen a bunch but please bear through this one for me! hahaha :] it'll be greatly appreciated! ok so i dont know what to get my boyfriend!! hes very into sports but i have NO idea about sports. and music but he lost his ipod and i do NOT have enough $ to buy him one :/ hes also Christian and collects monopoly games (well hes been given so many its like he collects them lol) maybe something romantic or something we can do together? also i was thinking of buying him a nice shirt but hes not that into clothes-but i am. he said he would like it if i got him a shirt but should i?? when it comes to buying him a gift i get really stressed out because im worried he will secretly not like it/want it! im gonna kiss him for part of his gift and i bought him a card and i bought him a box of chocolate but idk what to do for like a main gift! He is good at buying me gifts and sumtimes just does it to be sweet but im so bad at it! and i know he will love anything i get him but i never believe that-even when he says it!! PLEASE help and THANK YOU!! I hope you all have a wonderful valentines day! :]
You could try going to a sports store, or something of that type, and seeing if they have any good sports jerseys, miniature stuffed mascots wearing a team jersey, ect. You usually can't go wrong if you stick to buying stuff from your hometown. Unless, of course, you live in New England and you but a Yankees Jersey =]
Don't stress about the gift so much, though. It's valentine's day, so more than ever it's all about the thought.
On their own, the card and the chocolates are probably already enough.
Im making a cd for my boyfriend for valentines day. I have some songs...but im having trouble finding enough. I wanna put songs that say something about like being in love....and all that but i dont want them to be like mushy songs...like songs he might like....
Blink 182 - All the Small Things
Jason Mraz - You and I Both
Our Lady Peace - 4 am
Plus 44 - When Your Heart Stops Beating
Hinder - Lips of an Angel
Seal - Kiss Form a Rose
Damien Rice - Blower's Daughter
Those are some of my faves. The last two may be mushier; though, I tend to listen to less mush and more punk rock, so hopefully I'm a reliable source =]
junebug93,
thank you for the advice about bobby.
the only thing is that sometimes, it's almost as if he wants to be with me, and then other days he doesn't.
i was really upset with one of my friends a few weeks ago, and i was in the athletic trainer's office thinking about it and he came in. he was all happy and was trying to get me to laugh. if i look him in the eyes, i cant help but laugh because he'll do so much to make me smile.
he would always let me so his hair when it was long, but when another girl would try to, he would pull away.
thats when it finally hit me that i like him alot.
however, we got into a fight because i was going to spend the day with him after school before one of my games, and he was going to go.
but he didn't tell me that he was bring the girl who he liked at the time with him.
so they sat there flirting infront of me.
when i confronted him about it, he got all mad and it was almost as if he tried to make it my fault.
but then when i finally realized being mad at him would do nothing, i talked to him abotu he and he said he was sorry too.
i feel like somedays, he wants to be with me, but other days he doesnt.
how do i know what he wants?
I've thought about this for a while and I'd say
a) He could be confused about what he wants... sometimes he feels like he wants to joke around with you, sometimes he thinks he really likes you. This is probably really annoying, but bear in mind that it's normal when you like someone (for some people, at least). There's always the "I kindof like _____, but what if it's not that serious?" where you constantly talk yourself in and out of liking someone.
b)There's some kindof event sequencing to all this. Like say, he's been acting as though he's falling for you for a bit, then you laughed at him when he confessed his feelings, so now he's a little wary of you, and trying to forget liking you and move on.
c) The girl he flirted with: people may flirt with others whether or not they like them. As well, it's possible that what could be to them joking around could be seen as flirting, when it doesn't even mean anything. Not saying this is the case but keep that in mind =]
So anyway. About what you should do. Let's say you try to get over him, never do anything. You'll always be wondering what could have been, right? And, since you did laugh at him for saying he loved you, he may not come forward about it again, even if it's true that you mean everything to him.
I stand by my previous advice that you should do something that at least hints you like him. From reading the post, I'm almost positive that he does , in fact, like you. He got defensive about him flirting with someone else, didn't he? And didn't he apologize for the flirting? What guy would do that unless he wasn't, in some way, attached to someone else?
For V-day, send him a card and some chocolate or something. Write something on the card that mentions your friendship, but mentions in some way liking him more than that... Like, you know, something like "Thanks for letting me play with your hair, and making me smile".
Ask him out in whatever way it makes sense for you to do this ("Are you free valentine's day?" or... something in your own words =]). Or you could bring up him saying he loved you, and say you kindof feel the same way before he mumbles some lame coverup excuse to not sound crazy for getting you to laugh at him.
Go for it, girl! If he's been trying to confess/flirt with you all this time without much response, of course he's not sure of what he wants!
if i stick my finger in my vagina like maybe 2 inches.. it feels like this weird flap thing and like i dont really know how to explan it .. it kinda feels like a bump type thing.. it doesnt like hurt or anything i was just wondering if anybody might no what this is??
The bump holds muscles that make up the cervix, or the opening of your uterus.
Another girl just answered a similar question here:
http://www.advicenators.com/qview.php?q=530265 to see answers for it.
and here's a handy wikipedia diagram if you're curious: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Image:Fem_isa_2.gif