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My nerves can't take this anymore
i really don't think that my nerves can take it anymore. I'm going to start from the beginning because I don't think you can fully understand the problem without understanding where it came from. It all started when I was about 13 years old. I go to an all girls school and have gone there my whole life. So, yes, it was a big deal for me to socialize with boys, maybe a little bit of an even bigger deal than it is for the average person. I'm not saying that I was boy crazy, it was just that it was important to me.. well to all of us that have been going there since we were little. But, that was the age I started talking to boys. I started talking to this one boy who really liked me. My mother sat next to me telling me everything to say and do, what to tell him, and what not to tell him. I was so mad at her for it, but now I understand. I get that I was 13 and I could have done something stupid, being it that this was the first time I'd ever socialized with the opposite sex. I understand her now. But, her little experiment has gotten out of control. I'm 17 years old and she goes on my myspace every day.... let me elaborate. She is not going on there just to make sure I'm not talking to some phsyco. Let me assure you, my mother KNOWS I would never do that. She's been spying on me for four years.... remember?? I have never drank in my life or smoked!! She knows that. I'm the most responsible person she could know... I'M A CATHOLIC SCHOOL GIRL WHO WEARS KNEE HIGHS EVERY EFFING DAY, HAS ALL A'S IN EVERY CLASS, HAS OVER 200 COMMUNITY SERVICE HOURS AND A JOB!! Just so you can get a clear picture of me. My entire room and car is decorated with hello kitty and when i ask my mom to take me somewhere, it's to church. Just before you say she's trying to watch me or something. I may not be talking to strangers.... but she sure does. She goes on MY myspace to CHANGE MY WALLPAPER, CHANGE MY MUSIC, AND REQUEST FRIENDS!! Yes, she requests people that I DON'T KNOW!!
You see, about six months ago, my boyfriend broke up with me. It was extremely terrible. We were very serious and the way everything happened was just awful. I'm not going to get into details, but let's just say it was one of the worst. Anyhow, I had to go to the hospital because the a-hole caused an ulcer. Even before I met him, I always had gastric problems, but it's just that this provoked it to become a little worst.
So, now that a little time has passed, my family was trying to get me back into a social life. They've tried to introduce me to guys, try to take me here and there, and get me in the mood to go out, and I've tried. But, one day I told my mother that I didn't want to date anyone who didn't look like him because I want someone who is something like him. Whatever you may think of this, that's not he point. But, that's what I told her. She went on myspace and requested someone I don't even know just because she thought he looked like the other one. Then, today, when I'm doing my homework, she comes up to me and tells me to go on myspace to show him to me. So, I go and I see him and it turns out that he is the ugliest thing I've ever seen in my life. So, I told her thank you for her help, but I wasn't interested. Then she tells me "a-hole and his friend are flirting with these girls from the school next door. So, don't come crying to me later." Let me first tell you that the boy NEVER goes on myspace. Second of all let me tell you that he has FACEBOOK, which my mother got one just to SPY ON HIM!!! Turns out it's private, so she can't see him. My point is, she has no way of knowing that. So, let's just say that after an extremely big fight, she says she was just kidding and that she didn't mean for it to turn into an argument, that she was just testing me to see how jealous or how angry I would get.
I DONT THINK SHE UNDERSTANDS THAT I GO TO A VERY HARD SCHOOL!! The school I go to is ahead and all my courses are college courses. I'm super advanced and maybe I have to work a little harder than her. She has to come in here, while I'm trying to do my work and bother me about something stupid. Yesterday, she did the same thing, and i didn't get any work done because I was too pissed to do anything. I can't handle this anymore. I just finished my homework today, but i know i would have done so much better if I weren't fighting with her every two seconds. whatever the case may be, it's still my personal affairs and I've been very lenient as to giving her all my information. I'm tired of being humiliated like this and bothered when I'm trying to get ahead in life.... why is she doing this?? help me??
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you need to look your mom in the eye and say "mom this is MY life and i'm sick of you trying to run it" she has no right to be in your business all of the time! and also, youre a teenager and you choose how you wanna live. lifes short..it would help if you got away from your mom and just tried new things..hung out with friends..got out there and enjoyed being young and do not worry about being perfect at school, etc. also, i'm so sorry about the breakup but TRUST ME ..you should find someone completely different from him. i know itll take time, but you will eventually be able to move on and find someone so much more amazing and kind..just have confidence and put yourself out there and meet guys on your own and stand up for yourself to your mom..she has no right to try to pick out guys for you or invade your privacy..tell her like it is and take a stand..i promise everything will get better shes just trying to relive her youth by becoming absorbed in yours. its very common. but she needs to realize you have to experience and do things on your own and find the strength to move on from that guy and find an even greater boy and its all up to you. sure she can help, but you have got to tell her to let YOU live your life. dont ever let her hold you back. this is your chance. hope i helped
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I'm going to try and help you. It sounds like you're a good girl, always doing the right thing, but maybe she's just trying to look after you and make sure that you stay this way. Parents always try to look out for their children. Have you talked to her about it? Reassure her that you will never do anything bad to make her not trust you. Good luck! Hope I helped!
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She's doing this because she's seeing things completely different than you are. She sees you being miserable with all the work you have to do, she feels sorry for you after the break-up, and now she is trying to get you to be more social, to interfere with your social life to make your life better.
It probably concerns your mother that you spend so much time on your work, and so little time socializing and getting into crazy, sketchy situations (ironically). The only thing to do to get her off your back is to acknowledge this, ie "Yes, mom, I realize I've been uptight about my life lately" and then get her to see your side.
Wait till she is in a good mood, and you aren't totally pissed off at her, and calmly explain how you feel. Tell her that it causes you more stress when she interferes with your social life, and that it does not or will not make you more social. Tell her you aren't interested in any boys right now, but that you will, say, go to the mall with your friend on Saturday.
Whatever you do, you need to make her realize that she has nothing to be concerned about, whether it be because your lifestyle doesn't bug you, or because you are solving what she perceives to be the "problem".
Other than that, there's not much you can do but ignore your mom's annoyingness. Get facebook and block her account from you, if you must use some kindof untampered online communication network, or stealthily nix the old myspace account for a new one that keeps your identity more secret.
Try your hardest not to fight with her; it will only make her more concerned and determined to be involved. If you need to, blast loud music and nod silently at you when she's being annoying and or naggy.
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