Hi, My real name is Daniel. Im an expert on youth affairs (issues) and you can ask me questions on:
Love and Relationships
Sexuality
Dating
Puberty
And anything else to do with youth/teenagers
Drop me a line!
I give advice from my point of view.
So go ahead ask me a question.
Ill give you my best advice.
See you soon.
jumadel
Gender: Male
Location: U.K, England, Greater Manchester
Occupation: Expert in Youth Issues
Age: 15
AIM: Give people expert advice for FREE!
Member Since: June 6, 2006
Answers: 432
Last Update: July 23, 2006
Visitors: 21700
Main Categories:
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13/f i have a boyfriend & we have been gonig out for about 2 months. i'm wicked happy with him and i've liked him for almost a year and whenever i see him i am always smiling. i've kissed him on the cheek and i know he wants to kiss me but when we are about to do it i get kinda nervous and i know he thinks i dont wanna, but i do. howw can i be less nervouss? this isnt my first kiss, but i dk why i act like it. (link)
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Hi, I think that your nervous because you don't want to get it wrong. Try not to think about it and just do it. No one is perfect really and it's not about getting it right or putting on a good show it's about showing how much you care and just enjoying each others company. Worrying can loose confidence. Daniel.
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Ok at my camp there is a dance. Is in 2 weeks. I really wanna go with this guy that i was dating last summer. I think he likes me but I am not sure. My friend asked him and i think he said yes but she really does not want to go with him. She wants to go with this guy named Jacob (Chico). Should I ask the guy first or should I wait and see if he asks me? PlEaSe HeLp..DANCE IN 2 WEEKS AND NEED A DATE! If you have any other ideas..PLEASE TELL ME! thxx
(link)
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Hi, maybe you should wait a few days, then if he hasn't said anything then go up and ask him. Bare in mind that if you don't ask him soon he might get taken. Daniel.
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im 16/f and there is a guy that is 2 years younger than me. i know age difference sucks but who cares. well you see we always use to flirt nonstop when we saw each other but we never kissed or anything! i dont think he sees me as that way?! i just dont know but now he has a girlfriend and i still see him alot but he always starts flirting with me. i love it and do it back and he always grabs me and holds me from behind and is like you cant get out! or just like pushes me..anything he can do to flirt with me. one time i wore white shorts and they were see-through and i guesss he told his friend that he didnt mind or whatever lol and that he was looking at my ass and also when i wore a skirt i guess my butt was accidently showing and he was looking at it and was like why cant more girls be like her (me)? trust me im not a slut though i have never had a boyfriend and only madeout with one guy so far! but now im thinking does he like me? or does he just like flirting with me. because what about his girlfriend i know he likes her! we always have such great talks though! and he is so adorable and sweet its unbelievaeble. he looks so much older also. but the whole girlfriend thing throws me off..everytime i see him he just gets me though. i'll probably see him tomorrow or sometime soon this week so do you think i should like just keep doin what im doin..if he flirts then flirt back? im not gonna try and steal him away or anything but i just love flirting with him and im kinda crushin on him =p and im not gonna stop talking or seeing him either..just not gonna happen
well thanks for taking your time! (link)
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Hi, it sounds as though he likes you or is attracted to you because if he wasn't then he wouldn't be flirting now would he? He sounds as though he's interested and you are starting to like him to. Just be aware that he has a girlfriend but yeah keep flirting with him if you want to. If his girlfriend finds out then it will be him that would get the cold shoulder. Just be careful though. Daniel.
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I think I finally found the guy I'd stick with till I die even though Im 13. Hehe. But, he doesn't love me back! OMG I'm so upset and depressed and hurt and discouraged. And the only person that can ever help me with this is HIM! But noooooooo, he isn't here anymore! What do I do b4 I kill myself? Suicide is the only option so far...........
~Kayla~
Thanx in advance. (link)
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Hi, sometimes we feel as though we love someone but then find out that they don't feel the same way. Your better off just letting him go. A relationship wouldn't ever work out with you both because he's simply not interested. You wouldn't want to go out with someone who wasn't interested now would you? But I'm 100% sure that there is someone out there who would get to like you once they've got to know you. Please don't kill yourself, because there would be nothing to gain out of doing that. That wouldn't get you a boyfriend. Besides your still only 13 and it is quite normal to have not got a boyfriend, regardless of what anyone else might say. Daniel.
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Okay, i dont usually do this, but i cant trust my friends with this one. I have a boyfriend who ive been dating for 13 months. in the last four months, ive started to fall for a guy i work with and have been working with for two years, we are jokingly refered to as the work couple. lately my boyfriend and i have been fighting a lot, and i spend more time at work (im working full time this summer) i dont think that i will be truly happy with either relationship, but the situation im in right now isnt appealing either. i feel like im losing interest in my boyfriend, yet i love him just as much.
what do i do? (link)
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Hi there, you've first of all need to figure out why it is you are losing interest in your boyfriend. Once you've figured that out then the next step is to talk it over sometime with your boyfriend. It wouldn't be fair to just dump him when he hasn't even heared how you feel. It requires communication towards each others feelings in a relationship for it to work out. It sounds as though you have lust for this guy at work. Your attracted to him, yet you love your boyfriend and have been together for over a year. I would personally keep with your boyfriend and please just talk to him about how you feel. Even though lust is nice, I think love is greater. Daniel.
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Hi, i was wondering if anyone had any interesting ideas on how to celebrate me nad my boyfriends six month anniversary. I wanted to do something really special for him, since he has been so great, any ideas? It is also my birthday the day before that as well, so if that helps to get better ideas i dont know. He is 16 and i will be 15 the day before our 6 month.
Thanks (link)
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Hi, perhaps you could go out for some dinner or go to the beach or the park. Just do something that you both would like doing. Daniel.
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ok
im 13/f and im gonna be going into 8th grade.
with not ever having a boyfriend, no first kiss no nothing!
and it sucks.
my love life better get better before i get to highschool
any ways i could maybe get a boyfriend or have boys get to like me more?!
(link)
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Hi, if you want a boyfriend then you've got to make friends with guys or join a group. Just go up and start a conversation with a guy. You can use different flirting techniques like:
Stroke your hair back
Smile alot
Eye contact
smile and give a wink with your eye
(that should let him know your interested)
To get a boyfriend you have to create the opportunity e.g. ask him out, go up and talk, flirt. You also have to be sure what kind of guy you would like to hang out with, this is why going on a date first is important because you can have a chat and get to know each other a wee bit. Don't rush into anything though, because your still quite young and have plenty of teenage years in front of you. Daniel.
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there is this boy that sumtimes stare at me i want to know if he likes me (link)
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Hi, are you sure he is staring at you? If he is staring at you then you've deffinitely caught his eye. Daniel.
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ok well i got fingered for the first time and last untill im like a little older. and yeah that sounds gross but i mean i didnt think it was anything bad. but i havent been feeling well since then. it happen just yesterday but also yesterday i went to this party and ate SOO much food lol so maybe thats why im sick? and i had crampz yesterday before it happen and then after that they really didnt come and now i think they are comming back but i cant really tell..i just know my stomache is blehh lol please and thank you sooo much!
(link)
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Hi, it might have something to do with being fingered. It simply could be because you ate alot and something that you ate didn't agree with you or your stomach simply had to much food in it. It is also normal to get cramps when your a teenager. This is because when you go through puberty your muscles and body starts to grow and as they grow it can slide past one another and create a sort of cramp. It is possible to feel sick if you got fingered or had something like sex. It usually goes in a few days though. If pain persists then arrange an appointment to see a Docter. Hope that helps. Daniel.
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I'm an 18 year old female, living on the East Coast. My friend Jake is 22, living in Oregon. He is suicidal. Is there anything I can do to help?
I've known him for about 4 years. He has been suicidal since he was 10, apparently - that's 12 whole years of "depression". He just came back from the Jop Corps last week for his summer vacation, so yesterday was my first time speaking to him in 10 months. ALLL he would talk about is getting his hands on some tough drugs and then going to the "train tracks", if you know what I mean.
How do I help him? His complaints are pretty much the usual stuff. His family hates him, no one loves him, he doesn't have a girlfriend and now that he is 22 he will never have kids. For years, I've been trying to help him, trying to comfort him, trying to make points where I feel I can. But oh no, nothing works, because.... "no one loves me". When he says that, it actually insults me. What, have four years of my time meant nothing to him? Isn't there only so much a person can do?
I almost blame myself for not being able to help him. I can not contact his friends or family, because I have zero connection to them. He doesn't live with his parents, so there's no address I can find. He only has a cell phone, so that says that. And I don't even know his parents names, or friends, for that matter. I have zero way to get him help.
I know this isn't about me, but I'm losing my patience here. He is seriously stressing me out. I try and try and try, but I am never good enough. What, does he like being this way, or something? Could he secretly enjoy his lifestyle? Could I have a major attention whore on my hands, rather than a suicidal man?
He is also compulsive liar, which doesn't help anything. I'm thinking his other friends (the ones he doesn't have, according to him), probably assume that if he hasn't done away with himself in 12 years, he will never have the guts. That may be true, but I am not willing to write something like a death threat off, I'm sorry... because I know there is always a breaking point.
I consulted a few of my friends, and of course I heard the same thing every time, "Why do you bother talking to him? Oh, I wouldn't talk to him. Screw that guy."
Only, I know that wouldn't contribute anything to his well-being. Right?
I guess what I'm trying to ask is, at what point should I disconcern myself, if ever? And what more can I do to help him? Trying to help somebody who doesn't want to help themselves, is usually a failure before the process even commences... (link)
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Hi, he might be just saying that because hes fed up with things at the moment. However the only thing you can do is tell him that you care about him and that if he did kill himself you would never forgive him and it wouldn't solve anything. All you can do is stand by and help. But really it is up to him, and if this drags on for a while then tell him whats at stake and that he really needs to get some help. Daniel.
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okay, there's this gorgeous boy I know. He's completely flawless, and I have a big thing for him. One of my friends tells me that he actually likes me. Naturally, I was thirlled, but there's on problem: HE WON'T GO OUT WITH ME!! There's a lot going on with him, I guess. I mean we still flirt, hang out, etc., but does this mean I should lay off him in terms of flirting? the things have nothing to do with me [more-so family], but does that mean I should leave him be for now? thanks (link)
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Hi, he sounds quite shy or unsure. Just keep trying and invite him round to your house. Just keep on trying and if he still doesn't want to go out, then your better off accepting that and perhaps become his friend. He might not want what you want. Daniel.
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15 / female / Pennsylvania (if that helps with the things-to-put-in-the-box thing)
Hi, I have a penpal from France. We have been sending letters back and forth, and now I want to send a shoebox of American things.
But what kind of things should I put in it?
So far I have:
American Dollar/quarter/etc.
A magazine
Photos
Yeah, that's it. Pretty sad, I know, but I'm clueless. If you could help me think of ideas, that would be great. And I would like it if the objects would have purpose (not like a pack of stickers or stuffed animals).
Thanks a lot!! (link)
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Hi, maybe send him/her a mini statue of liberty or empire state building. A model or something like a cap with USA on it is good. Daniel.
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alright i have a problem interacting w/ people..i pretty much force people to talk to me. i want to be more involved and get more friends. The hardest part it talking to girls. I just never anything good to say. what should i do ~ im a 16yr old male junior (link)
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Hi there, strike up a conversation first by saying hi. This should draw their attention to you and they should respond. Then say something like whats your day been like today then? They respond, do you see how it goes? Here is three tips when talking to the opposite sex:
1. Compliments
2. Open questions
3. Small talk
If you ask open questions then she would be able to answer your question with more detail and you could follow up her answer and start a conversation. Also lots of eye contact and just talking alot, then ask her if she would like to hang out sometime. Daniel.
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i was raped when i was younger and i don't know what to do anymore it haunts me in my sleep. I think about it all the time and when i see any of the guys that did that to me i freak out i start crying and they were all over five years ago so i can't go to the police and tell them i was raped i don't know any of the guys names. All i know is that they used to date my mom and when i told my mom that they were doing that to me she didn't believe me. I am now in foster care and i don't ever see my mom. But that fact that i was raped is scary and i need all the help and advice that i can get. so please anyone help me. (link)
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Hi, Im sorry that you have been through such a dreadful experience. It is good that you've asked us for opinions and the best thing you can do is go and see someone like a Psychologist or a Counsellor. Try and find out your local rape centres. Right now you need to talk to someone about it. This is a very tough time for you, and you need lots of understanding and support to help you with things. Hope things go well for you soon. Getting help is the best option you can do. Daniel.
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Okay i'm 12/f about to turn 13 in 2 weeks =] ! I really like this boy and yesterday i went to his house to hang out and i d k if this is slutty or what ? Well we was over there watching the Grudge and i was just laying by him, then we like moved to the floor and all the sudden he leaned over and we started making out. I like got on top of him and we like started having dry sex with are clothes on. Well he knew my turn on spot is my neck so he was kissing my neck and i just got really in the mood so he rolled over on top of me and we kept on doin it. Well then we stopped cause we heared someone upstairs so we were just laying there. And i let him finger me. And i was giving him a hand job all night !! Like every minute. Then hes like how bout you suck it for meee ? and i was like omg i never sucked one before soo yeah.. but we went downstairs but then we came back up after we did some more stuff.. okay now heres where it gets bad. We were laying on the couch and i like sucked his dick about 3 times and he wanted moreee. but we didn't have a condom . Well he fingered me again and left a huuuge hickey on my neck. Wow thats alot of stuf. Do you think thats slutty and just give me some advice on what i just told you . I feel slutty and guilty and i feel like hes useing me. (link)
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Hi, I think your way to young to be doing things like that. I don't really believe there is such a thing as a slut, but I think 12 years of age is pritty young. Daniel.
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how does a condom break while your having sex.. im just curious (link)
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Hi, one of the main reasons why I think it tears or breaks is because it is made out of very thin rubber and if stretched really hard it will simply break. Other things such as it is old and isn't used properly is another factor. Daniel.
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hi i am 20/f and i have a problem i been with my boyfriend for about 3 years now and our relationship was perfect when we first started going out. well i think it was perfect before because hes a year older then me and we met in high school and he graduated a year before me. we did not really see each other all the time like 24/7 but when i graduated we would always hang out and went to the same college and we say each other like 24/7 and then our relationship started going down the drain and we always began to fight and i talked to him about it then and things started becoming good for a while and then i needed a job and he got me a job at his work which he is a security guard at he got me a job as a adminstrative assistant and then we were seeing each other even more because we worked together and we would always argue and fight over the little things in life. well after working here for about 2 month (i have only been here three months) this guy started working here. i did not find him attrative at first but i knew he was into me because this one time i was standing outside the building and he was standing there with his friend and when i was walking inside he opened the door for me and i didnt say anything but thanks and then a week later we were in the break room and he was looking for a drink and i was looking for a drink and he started a converstaion with me and we sat down and began talking. we became friends and we exchanged phone numbers and he called me and we would talk about things and one day he sent me a text message telling me that he was beginning to like me and he knew i had a boyfriend and then he started telling me when im going to break up with my boyfriend and things like that and then i stopped talking to him because my boyfriend was being real sweet and nice to me so i was feeling guilty becasue i was leading that guy on and i didnt want to do that and then i stopped talking to that guy and i just saw him yesterday and we had lunch together and he told me he still likes me and i been seeing a lot of him today also and i know im beginning to like him now because i think about him when im with my boyfriend or i will hang up with my boyfriend if hes calling on the other line. i dont know what is going on im so confused. do you guys think im feeling this way because i am having problems with my boyfriend and i just need someone to be there for me like that guy? or am i really beginning to like that guy? please someone help me . i need advice on what to do. should i stop talking to that guy again? please help me!!!! (link)
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Hi, do you love your boyfriend? Do you like this guy? It sounds as though you are attractive and have lust for this guy were as you have a good relationship and love your boyfriend. I think I would choose love over lust, so I would probaly carry on with what you have with your boyfriend and just tell this guy, you know that you don't want anything serious and you've got a boyfriend and you would just like to be friends, nothing else. Why pack away a great loving relationship just for one guy that you will probaly after a while loose interest in? Think about this carefully. Daniel.
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Sorry in advanced if it is long. I'm 16/f. So, I broke up with my bf of 4 months a month ago. And the same exact day he got a new gf. And he didnt bother telling him, I found out at a party, I saw them together. And it didn't feel right to me, like he shouldn't have moved on so quickly. But I wasn't really jealous I don't think. And we are still friends, which I'm glad for, and I'm constantly going online to see if he is on. And when he is, my heart starts to race like crazy, and I'm like so happy. We can talk forever but little stuff, we just always find things to talk about. I also think about him all the time no matter what, it drives me crazy. And when I'm not talking to him, I feel a little depressed. I'm just scared that if we do get back together, it will end up like the past. I really don't want to hurt him again, I would just hate myself. And after we broke up, I told myself that I did love him, but just that it was just friendship love. But now I"m not too sure. Can I really still be IN love with him? And I just also need some advice on how to deal with these feelings if they won't go away. I'm just really confused and need some advice. (link)
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Hi, first of all ask yourself,
Do I feel a special bond for him?
Do you feel deep deep emotions for him?
Do you like him for who he is?
Do you feel alot of affection and desire for him?
If you answered yes to those then it is likely that you love him.
Do have lots of sexual desire for him?
Are you attracted to him because of his looks?
Are you jelouse because he's taken up?
Do you fantasize and have a crush on him?
If you answered yes to those questions then it is likely you feel lust towards him.
Difference being:
LUST: Sexual desire and attraction for him usually you havn't known him for a while.
LOVE: Strong bond and deep deep emotional feelings for him, care about him and have known him for some time now.
Now compare the list and answer the questions and you should know how you feel towards him. It sounds as though it may be lust, but see if you can work it out. Daniel.
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hey! 16/f
well you see there is this guy...and its one of my cousins good friends. they're a year younger than me but who cares. anyways i kinda started to like my cousins friend (kevin) and we always flirted like him grabing me..wrestling..just anything. and then yesterday me and my other cousin came back to her house afer being out and then she had to just do something quick and we were gonna go back to my house. well we see kevin and my cousin hanging out and my cousin is like where are you going? and we're like back to my house.and then kevin comes over and just sits in the backseat of my car and they want to go back to my house for a little bit. so we did and then when we were coming back kevin always wants "shotgun" :D i dont mind at all haha. but he is just so cute and he was like singing these love songs it was adorable the only problem is he has a ..GIRLFRIEND. yeah but then when we both got home we were talking on the computer on AIM and hes we had like the longest conversation and how we said we are best friends haha and im like are you scared to drive with me? because some people say im a crazy driver and hes like no why do you think i would sit in the front..i trust my best friend. i was like aww (link)
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Hi, personally I would remain good friends. He might be flirting with you for a number of reasons:
1. He likes you
2. He wants you to feel jelouse
3. He likes flirting with you because its fun
Boys will most of them like to flirt with girls. Flirting is quite a big thing in life. Hes already got a girlfriend but it depends on how much he likes you really. Daniel.
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Okay soo I'm a 15 year old female. I've been going out with my boyfriend for just over a month now. I love spending time with him! but i see him more as a friend than anything else. When we kiss there just arent any sparks. I'm afraid of hurting him, but i think if i stay with him ill just hurt him more later on... any ideas? (link)
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Hi there, your better off telling him quickly that you would just like to be friends for now. No pressure but the longer you leave it the more worser the situation will get for you. Daniel.
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