I'll give advice to anyone I think I can help in any way. Ask away.
Gender: Female
Location: England
Occupation: Student/ General Know-It-All
Age: 22
Member Since: August 17, 2005
Answers: 297
Last Update: January 22, 2011
Visitors: 23366
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I have only had 2 guys finger me before, but when both of them have done it, it didn't feel good at all. It actually hurt. I have fingered myself before and had an orgasm. I talk to my friends about being fingered and they all say they have orgasms from it. So is there something wrong with me? Please tell me what you think. thanks (link)
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I don't know how old you are, i'm guessing kinda mid-teens in which case, yeah boys pretty much suck at this due to lack of practise! If you can do it by yourself you're absolutely fine and it's these boys who (bless em) need to work on their technique- and you who needs to point them gently in the right direction! Not talking soul-crushing "*sigh* you're doing it WRONG" just let him know when he's got it right and kinda...physically help him a bit lol.
Alternatively you could just stick to self-service for a few years until other girls have trained them up a bit for you :) x
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(17 f)Is there anything you would reccomend for an at-home waxing type thing for like ALL (as in private area too) areas of the body?? (link)
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oh god no. No no no! lol I'd seriously recommend that you get it done professionally there purely because it means someone else will be ripping off the wax (not to mention someone who's done this job a million times and can do it right). In my experience doing it youself will result in sitting trying to pluck up the courage for about half an hour and then not really getting great results because you're trying so hard not to make it hurt any more than it has to.
Perhaps I'm just a bit pathetic though- depends on your pain threshhold!
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Well a couple of days ago i had sex with my boyfriend and now when i pee it stings and i have a little blood come out thats pink not that its like my period what do you think it means? (link)
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sounds like you've got an infection of some kind. They don't always go away by themselves (trust me :S) so just go to your doc who'll probably prescribe you some antibiotics. I don't know how old you are but whatever you say to your doctor is treated as confidential.
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I'm confused. There are all these different terms for various body types: pear shape, hourglass, apple shape... I don't know what type I am! Explanations on the internet are often vague -- do these generalisations apply to all women? I'm not sure where I fit in.
Let's see, if it helps... I'm 164cm, 52kg, with a well-proportioned chest (relative to my body), fairly narrow waist, large thighs and hips (but otherwise slender limbs, e.g. arms), just a bit of belly, and... umm, a well-rounded backside. Does anybody know what body type I am? (link)
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hourglass, i'd say: out at the chest, in at the waist, out at the hips and bum. A "true" hourglass figure would have the chest and hip measurements exactly the same coupled with a small waist.
pear-shaped is someone who's hips and bum and quite abit larger than their chest (so if you were to measure chest, waist and hips you might get something like 34:26:42
apple is someone who doesn't really have a tapered waist and is generally quite round in the stomach area, so their measurements might all be fairly similar
you can also get top-heavy- large chest, slender thighs and hips and boyish- lacking curves in any area and slim.
Hope that helps a bit
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My friend's birthday is coming up. She'll be 15. I asked her what she wanted and she said she wants me to kiss her (we aren't going out). I only see her once a day at school and we just hug, say hi, and go eat at our different tables. She said she wants me to kiss her on the lips. When and how should I kiss my friend? (link)
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Hehehe aww :)
Well basically depends where you want this to go. It pretty much sounds like she likes you so if you want to date her go with the romantic walk/alone time suggested by people below.
If not tread veeery carefully coz it sounds like you could break her heart a little! If you want to just stay friends just go for a light-hearted peck on the lips in a semi-public place but preferably not somewhere her friends are all standing around ready to analyse whether you like her.x
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I'm usually either very lethargic or very pissed off in the morning and I figure I can fix that by adding something a little more enjoyable into my routine. I'll wake up earlier if it seems worth it. Does anyone have anything special they do in the morning that helps them not be a zombie/grump? (Note: going to Starbuck's every morning and other such expensive things are a bit out of the question). (link)
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Don't know if it'll help you but I found getting together a playlist of songs that make you feel generally happy and sticking it on first thing can work wonders. Small thing but it really can change your mood totally. Avoid human contact as much as possible for te first hour or so and, if you're a girl, take part in some shallow, shameless preening for purposes of making you feel good only. Being me I get excited about pretty-smelling, exfoliating shower gels but whatever floats your boat. x
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Rats! I leave this site alone for what, two months? And not only have you overtaken me in questions answered, your rating is nigh on spotless, and you've been visited over a thousand times! Curse you, you fantastic advice giving harpy!
Scribbs (link)
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Hold up squire, i just glanced at your column and you have been visited over 3000 times! No cause for complaints!
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one of my bff has been getting on my nerves recently. she is a c-cup and im an a-cup. i could really care a less about boob size tho. but shes always bragging about how big her boobs are and how skinny she is. like if a girl gets hit in the chest area it hurts no matter what, but if in gym or something i get hit there she'll be like "what boobs." and she always brags about her "perfect" figure. personally i dont think she has the perfect figure or good looks but why does she brag so much? i told her a million times that lifes not about boobs and when me and her hang out the boys are all over me not her. (link)
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insecurity. Pure and simple. Probably next to you she feels a bit inadequete, especially if, as you say, boys are all over you and ignore her. Saying this kind of stuff affirms to her she's got something you haven't. Doesn't make it any less annoying but pound to penny i'll bet that's what it is.
If she doesn't talk about being good at anything else try complimenting her on stuff that does matter occasionally like schoolwork or sports. Or even just make a point of telling her when some guy checks her out. Sounds stupid and like you'd ust be making the problem worse but if she gets a little more genuine self-confidence the bragging will most likely stop. x
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My Mom read my journal/diary and found that i had had sex before, (not anymore) and she went ballistic. She is now taking me to a gyno tomorrow, and i really dont want to go, (besides, im not haveING sex, I had it once before) and shes putting me on birth control. I was wondering , does she have any right to force me to do these things? She cant force me to go to the gyno, and she cant force me to have birth control right? (Birth control being a shot of hormones) I dont want these things to happen.. Do i have a say in what happens to me? 14 yrs old and obviously female if that helps. (link)
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14's a tricky age for that sort of thing. Obviously technically you're not an adult so what your parents say still matters but I'd be very suprised to find many doctors who are comfortable literally forcing you to have this injection. Frankly, what is he/she going to do? Hold you down and jab you while you're kicking and screaming? More than likely, if you make your objection known the doc will ask you to go away and talk about it before doing anything.
That said there's really not much reason for you not to get these things done. I know gyno appointments can be embarrasing but it's good to get a check up and they've seen it all before. And as for birth control, tho you might not be having sex right now it saves you having to mess about with all that stuff when you do want to.
Plus if it'll get your mum off your back it sounds pretty worth it to me. x
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Hey guys. I'm trying to make my friend this mix full of like the classic old slow songs. Mostly about love or heaven and you know stuff like that. Do you guys have any good ones? (link)
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excellent. Well it depends on your definition of old really. Are we talking 50s, 80s, 90s? Well here's some random suggestions anyway:
-The Way You Look Tonight (great thing about this is you can find so many different versions so pick your fav)
-Stars- Simply Red
-Unchained Melody (again a million versions. This song's a bit overdone but if you're looking for classics..)
-a whole bunch of stuff by Bryan Adams especially off the 18 Till I Die album
-Hungry Eyes
It's hard to make suggestions without knowing the kind of period you'd like but there's some basic cutesy ones for u! let me know if you want more specifics x
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Well, I'm thirteen and I'm starting to use tampons (or at least trying to start). When I try to insert the tampon, it stings a little because it is dry and solid. I know what to do and how to do it but I was wondering if I will get some sort of infection if I use vasaline to make it go in easier. I mean, if I put a little by my area and a little on the tampon. I won't glob it on, but just enough to make it smoother. Before I experiment with this, I want to know if it is a mistake or if it can harm me. I WILL RATE! PROMISE! (link)
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i wouldn't use Vaseline. In fact i wouldn't use any kind of lubricant, partly because it could affect how well the tampon absorbs your actual flow and secondly because you shouldn't need it.
Wait until you have quite a heavy or heavy part of your period and start by using the smallest tampon you can find and it should go in ok. Can take some practise and it's pretty weird at first but you'll get it.x
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I was just wondering what most people thought.
Would you rather regret something you said or regret not saying anything at all? And why? Your opinion means nothing if you don't explain. (link)
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Done both a fair number of times and I'd say I've always regretted saying nothing more than saying something purely because at least in the latter situation you KNOW the outcome and response of whoever you're speaking to whereas the unsaid is left to fester and there's always a little bit of "what if.." left over. Plus it just makes life a little clearer if everyone knows where they stand.
I can see how other people would say differently but personally I know i can't get over and forget about something until I've said it and faced the person's reaction, though it generally takes me a while to build up the courage to do so.
Plus I'd hate to think there were things people wanted to say to me but couldn't/chose not to but maybe that's just nosiness on my part :)
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okay so i had a sony windows 98 computer and now i have a new one.. but my mom was planning on putting it outside so someone could take it or something, so if someone were to take it would they be able to see all my documents on my old computer? (the sony windows 98 one) (link)
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yup. If you're hard-drive's still in itit'll still have all your information logged even if you've deleted it the files themselves. you could always just put out the monitor/keyboard etc and destroy the actual computer box bit.
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I bought my laptop around last july. I'm just wondering, can a computer have no microsolf to type on? the only thing i can actually type on is wordpad, which is dumb & has nothing i need. i NEED microsolf word and its on my computer but when i push it to go into it, a thing comes up asking for like the product key and stuff.
please help!
i'm desperate (link)
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yeah i was a newbie at this too. Basically found out the microsoft package is something you have to buy separately (who knew?). You should be able to get it at any computer store and it'll ome in a nice shiny box saying either "microsoft office" or "microsoft home" depending on exactly what programmes you need. You can get illegal copies but if it messes up or, worse, messes up your computer you're pretty screwed as microsoft obviously won't help you. x
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Heather, I have been on birth control (orto-tri-cycilin) for about 2 years now. The first year was deifnitally rough constantally missing pills, so my period was always off. Anyways, I have been very consistent with taking them for over a year now, this past week was spring break and insted of taking them at 8am before school, i was taking them around 10am. Also, I ended up missing one half way into the week. I then started my period 2 days after missing it, and that lasted about 3-4 days. Two days after that I woke up the next morning and was bleeding again. It was from the night before. Then it stopped for that day and the next full day. Then it started again, and stopped for a day. And last night I woke up and have been on my period since last night.
Does this sound normal? I mean, could all of this be because of that one missed pill? Or should i definitally go and see a doctor.
Please help. Thank you.
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I'd check with your doctor. It very much depends on the type of pill you're on. Some have a 12hour window for taking them, others a 3 hours window. If yours is the 3 hour window it's more likely that the weird times and missing pill have messed up your cycle than if you're on a 12 hour one.
But yeah doctor knows best. I'm sure it's nothing serious- might just have to sort out your pill cycle or wait for your body to recover. x
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i really like my boyfriend but he like touches other girls boobs and stuff...but like as a joke and idk what to do ive talk to hiim but i dont think hes gonna stop bc thats the way he is
help pleaese (link)
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Yeah this sounds a little familiar. It's probably nothing to worry about in terms of him cheating on you but if you've spoken to him about it and he's disregarding your feelings, or even genuinely can't change that part of who he is you need to think about how much you're willing to compromise on it. If you know it's going to eat at you and it's not going to change save yourself some heartache and get out now.
If mine hadn't toned it down I certainly wouldn't still be with him and if you're not careful it can develop into a big trust issue with you worrying what he's doing when you're not around and that's really not worth it.x
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The other day I answered someone's question. And in that question I stated that ovulation can also occur after a person's period. ( 6-14 days) which I googled and found out I was right. Another person wrote my advice column to dispute this fact, but turns out she didnt dispute it al all: here is that she said word for word: Oh, and no you are not fertile AFTER your period you fucking idiot. You are not fertile UNTIL 14 DAYS AFTER YOUR PERIOD. Get your facts right. Now does everyone see that she said your NOT fertile AFTER your period, its 14 days AFTER your period! Duh thats what I said! Why do people resort to name calling when trying to dispute something? or is it just this person doesnt posess any class? 5's for all thoughts.. except for her's. (link)
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I'm aware I'm likely to get a 1 for this but what on earth are you hoping to achieve by posting this question? As far as I can see this is a rant with a quick couple of rhetorical questions on the end so that it can technically be counted as a something requiring an answer from columnists so it hopefully won't be deleted.
You were right, she was rude, congratulations, but that's life and I fail to understand why you need the validation of a bunch of anonymous people the other end of a computer to feel vindicated.
There we go, a dispute of your post without any name calling whatsoever. Perhaps there is hope for the human race yet.
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20/F.
So I’ve been with my boyfriend for just over a year now. We have a great relationship and we usually tell each other everything. However, two weeks ago I found out that he has been hiding something from me throughout our entire relationship (that’s not the problem though...).
I was at home when it happened. My boyfriend’s college suite mate called me and asked me to come over right away. He seemed worried, but wouldn’t tell me anything over the phone. I drove to their dorm room, and just as I was about to go up the stairs, I heard someone mumbling. I looked underneath the stairwell, and there was my boyfriend. He was sitting on the floor, with his head in his hands, crying, and freaking out.
It took me almost an hour to get him to calm down. Once he finally did, I asked him what had just happened. He told me that he suffers from mild depression and anxiety. He had been having a massive panic attack. He takes medication for both conditions, but he told me that recently his anxiety had been getting worse.
I’ve never seen him, or even anyone, have a panic attack before and I don’t know anyone else who suffers from anxiety. Nonetheless, I tried to be as supportive as I could. He told me that he had been having trouble sleeping because of the anxiety but that talking to me usually helps him calm down. I ended up spending the night in his dorm, and I haven’t left here since.
He’s been to the doctor, and all they’ve done for him is increase his medication.
He has told many times over the past two weeks that my staying with him, in his dorm, makes him feel more at ease. That when we’re together, he’s able to function like a normal person. However, he still has anxiety when he’s about to go to bed, and sometimes we stay up and talk for hours before he’ll finally fall asleep.
I feel immensely guilty for saying this, but I’ve never been so exhausted, emotionally and physically, in my life. I work full time as well as go to school and this whole situation has really taken it’s toll on me. All of my attention has been focussed on him and I’m constantly worrying about him when we’re apart, but five hours of sleep a night (sometimes less) cannot be healthy.
I’ve tried to tell him that eventually I’ll have to go home, but then he starts to get anxious about the thought of me leaving him alone.
I love my boyfriend and I want to be there for him when he needs me, but I would like to have somewhat of a life of my own. Ugh. I feel selfish saying that...
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Any input would greatly appreciated. (link)
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basically just want to reiterate alisonmarie's advice because i'm guessing the more people who tell you you shouldn't feel guilty the more you'll believe it. so: You shouldn't feel guilty.
Loving your boyfriend does not make you responsible for him and besides the more used he gets to having you around the harder it'll be for him to stop relying on you and functioning normally- completely relying on someone else to be there all the time isn't fuctioning normally.
I think the counselling thing's a good idea too. Panic attacks generally arise from a certain issue or incident and he needs to get whatever it is out of his system before you can both move on.
Good luck x
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ok here's the thing...there's this girl that i really like..but the problem is shes very shy and its hard to get a signal..going to different schools and having different things dont make things easier..i only see her once a week(our families are very bonded with each other) and so our parents and relatives r always in the same room..we barely talk to each other and that makes me nervous..when i stare at her she looks somewhere else or to the floor but doesnt seem uncomfortable..its hard to explain..i do have a crush but im not looking for a relationship..right now i just wanna know if she likes me back before i figure out my next move..can u plzz help me know if she likes me back without having to flirt or do something funny in front of my parents! (they r cramping my style)..she is a twin (almost identical) for what its worth..thnxx and i hope u can help me
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Is there no way you can get her away from both sets of your parents? Say if her family come over to your house, you guys could go out in the garden or something into a different room? Even if it's only into the kitchen and the two of you get drinks, anything! Might seem scary but I really think that's your best bet and confidence is the key!
If you can do that you at least have your parents or whatever they've been talking about as a starting point for conversation. If you don't want a relationship just concentrate on being her friend. If you think of it in those terms it should make it a bit less scary too- you're not trying to date her, just be her friend, and you've made loads of friends before so you know you can do that.
Good luck x
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Hey Scratches, I've read a few of your answers and I think you give some fantastic advice. I have a bit of a strange question, I've been with this guy for about 4 months now, I really like him and the sex is fantastic, but I have a fetish that I'm terrified of telling him about, let alone indulging with him in. I like pissing on people. God I hope this doesnt get deleted because I really need some help, what do I do? Am I a freak?? (link)
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Hey thanks. No you're not a freak, there's a whole subculture of this kind of thing- you'd only have to type it into google if you were so inclined to get a whole bunch of stuff up about it- might put your mind at rest about being the only one!
As for your boyfriend, if he's shown no signs of kinkyness in the four months you guys have been together I'd tread pretty carefully. Start him on a conversation about both your fantasies, starting pretty tame then working up a little if he doesn't get freaked out. You should be able to judge how far you can take it by how responsive he is. You don't necessarily need to introduce this particular fetish in the first conversation but just talking about what you both like at all opens up the lines of communication, gets you two a bit closer and gives you an idea where you stand.
I'd say only tell him about this when you're totally comfortable with each other (4 months isn't all that long) and you trust him not to talk about ti to anyone else. And if you find out in the course of discussion that he's actually pretty reserved in what he likes in bed, maybe this is one to keep purely in your imagination! x
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