Hi my Name is Sohpia
I'm 17 Years old ,Im a new senior at...
And I have a Boyfriend ,Im afraid to tell my Peeps that I do have one,because tell you the truth he's American I cant say that they dont like Americans they just think me being with another Haitian is better(SIKE).I liked this boy ever since last year and now that I have him I dont wanna lose him because of what my parents say ,he told his parents about me, he even told his Grandmother now she wants to meet me.If my parents find out that I have a boyfriend ,no boyfriend till im done with college,So Should I tell my HAITIAN parents that I have an American Boyfriend ?
Really its completely up to you and which one you would rather face. Would you rather deal with your parents about having a American boyfriend. Or break up with him and bother with looking for another guy. Its understandable that they want you to be with someone of your own race, but you are given a choice, a very hard one at that. And though either way, its going to impact you pretty severely unless you can manage to convince your parents somehow some way.
I believe you should tell them though. Purely my opinion. Because things hidden for too long tend to show up at really bad times. And hiding it longer only worsens the dilemma. Plus it gives you a chance to explain and compromise between you and your parents. Hopefully yours are stubborn or its going to take a lot to get your point down if you tell them.
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16 years old. never been in a relationship and never been kissed. not trying to sound stuck up or anything... but i don't think my appearance or personality is the problem. i don't know... is that weird? because it seems like i am the only one out of everyone i know who is in this type of situation...
I know how that feels. Its a terrible feeling, like no one actually likes you. And then you kinda get desperate.
Well, I want you to know that your not the only one that either feels or have felt that way. I personally don't know what it is that causes this, but I do know that its hard to deal with after awhile.
But trust me, its actually way better to wait then to rush anything. I mean, sure, if you get into several relationships through your life, you'll prolly have more experience in them. But it only makes things worse.
Its better to wait life is going to push way ahead. If you date someone way older than you, before you know it, they'll be in some out of state college and you have to find someone knew. If you date someone really young, its going to be the same reason, only your the one ahead. Other things like change, family, interests, and other things will affect early relationships, especially at your age.
Of course, if you really want to build a relationship with someone, you can always ask.
I know its actually better if the guy asks because its like some sort of rule in dating or something like that, but if the guy won't ask the girl is going to have to. Plus, I would like to note its better to date someone you know and trust with your life and world, than some hot or popular guy.
Otherwise, be proud your single while it lasts. You don't have to deal with as much drama and problems as those in relationships, that would have never worked in the first place, have to deal with all the time.
You have an entire lifetime ahead of you, so don't waste it thinking that just because you've never been kissed that your not good enough for society. Or that you HAVE to be in a relationship. Because there are much more important things than that at the moment.
Sorry for the lengthiness, I get very carried away and like to go to detail too often. Even though Ima "Keep-it-simple-stupid" kind of person. But just know your not alone, and you have other things to worry about and more than enough time for relationships.
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I was studying at a cafe today, when the guy next to me (just for the sake of talking to me), asked if I knew how to fill out information for some computer thing...I said I didn't, and resumed with my work. Less than a minute later, he turned around and asked me, "are you single?" and I replied, "I don't see why that matters." I felt a little awkward, so I got up and left the area, and under his breath he said " it's just a question." Was my answer/reaction a little uncalled for or rude? Now, to clarify, I don't care about how he felt, but I want to know for future reference...I mean, guys/men ask little questions all the time, and sometimes women want to know how to respond. I do not want to be rude, but I don't want to be a pushover either. Anyway, any advice/comments are greatly appreciated! By the way, I am 23/F.
Its usually depends. You can sort of figure out a guys intention by how they ask. And that tends to take time to get use to in order to figure it out. Buts its usually just rude to even ask if you dont know the person your asking.
But if you want to avoid any misunderstanding, just ask why. Dont answer the question, just ask why. Then you can hear the guy's intention.
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i dont get it. my best friend has two best friends, me and some girl i dont know at all. she says that she likes me alot more then her other best friend, and she always talks about her other best friend. but like, when i look at her myspace, [my best friends friends myspace] my best friend will leave her all these comments, like oh my gosh lets hang out soon! oh yeah, i have a story to tell you!!! oh my god, i know i love youuu. thats so funny! and she never leaves me comments like that. i mean, i dont use the computer much, and hardly go on myspace, but i dont think ive ever heard that come out of her mouth before to me. and then she leaves this girl picture comments and will be like, you look so pretty here! i love it. i never get stuff like that. and okkkkk. im not trying to sound stuck up, but im alot prettier. she weighs like 150 pounds more then me, [this girl weighs 250 pounds] and i just, i dont understand, why she does thaT? like on her myspace, im first and like she says like in her heros im her best friend.
i know, i guess im kinda jealous. but im alot more confused, then jealous, and im really hurt. if i tell her im upset, i dont think she will care at all, because she told me she doesnt care if people are mad at her. i also wonder if she ever talks about me to her other best friend...
what should i do?
Theres a rather large line between mad and upset. Its best to tell her your not happy that the other girl gets a hell of a lot attention, but you dont get things like that. But dont be mean about it or use caps, just tell her whats on your mind. If shes a real best friend, she'll hear you out and care.
But you gotta keep in mind that you dont get on the computer that much, and she might have noticed this. Some people use comments like messages to you might only be looking at half the conversation. That and the other girl might do the same thing she does, so its only out of respect that she would do those things.
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Faye-17
Okay so this guy (Spencer) word got around that I thought he was awesome, and he randomly asked me out over myspace right when school got out. We've gone to dinner and a Gaming zone with his friends over a period of 1 1/2 weeks, and talked lots over myspace. He seems shy, but then again I think his friends pressured him into asking me out. His friends talk to me more than he does >.< and they're all still complete strangers to me.
we had an awkward momment when getting a ride home, it was just me and him alone in the back of a car in the dark. and like... he wouldnt even make eye contact. and truthfully. I wanna kiss him so bad. but Im afraid of what he'll do, and Im extremely shy myself! but does it sound like he's shy? and if he is, what do I do?!
~thanks
He sounds uncomfortable, and shy. He probably has a hard time in public or around with other people. I doubt its hate if he can talk to you online.
Just give him some time. He'll open up eventually. Its probably best to just be in private with him then with his friends or with other people around.
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At the beginning of this past year, I really got into drawing. I don't know why, but it started with random doodles and ended with some pretty good realistic and some cartoons. My dad said I have a talent, but I didn't think so. Eventually, I just ran out of inspiration and started drawing crappy again :[ I'm confused, how did I go from talent to no talent so quickly? And now I want to start drawing again, but it's so bad it's discouraging. It's like some part of me WANTS to draw, but the rest of me doesn't... how can I make myself love drawing again? I just don't know...
First, you should just stop for a long time. Week or two or longer if you think you should.
Then you should start over and start simple. Doodle. It should start the process all over again. Its most likely just a loss in ideal inspiration. Just stop so your brain has time to observe the world for a bit and then itll go back.
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i have that problem where i don't express my feelings. not all feelings just upset. i don't show people that i'm upset. so. i have this guy who likes me a lot. we'll call him marvin. well marvin has asked me out a lot and he keeps wondering what my desision is. i keep telling him that i don't know. this other guy asked me out and we'll call him andrew. but i've been friends with him forever so i said no and he understands. but i think i like marvin but i can't make up my mind because i don't want to show my feelings. it's not that i don;t want to it't because i'm so used to hiding my feelings when i'm upset so i don't look like a wimp. so i don't know how i feel about this marvin guy. he;s really nice and funny. but maybe the fact that not a lot of people like him is part of it. some of my friends have dated him and they say he just bases relationships on public display of affection and when we break up he will make fun of me. he has done that to all of my friends but he swore that he liked me soo much and that he wouldn't do that if we broke up. i think i like him, i have one of my good friends giving me advice. he tells me a lot that helps. i know who i like but i don;t know if, why, and what for. i am really confused and i know whoever is reading this is probably really pissed of at this because it's so confusing and stuff. but i apologize. to help you help me i'll give you the main points.
1) I don't know if i should say yes to marvin
2) I don't know what i should do about this.
3) I don't know what, how, or how to express what i feel.
4) I'm desparate. any advice will help.
5) Thank you to whoever takes the time to answer.
It seems to me that "Marvin" isnt a very good pick at all. According to "all" your friends, hes been a bad choice from the beginning. Just because a guy says and swears he loves you doesnt always mean he does. I personally think you should say no.
What you should do is gather up as much information on him as possible, from your friends or other people. Know what other people know, because the greater opinion can be the more trusted one. After you think you have enough on him, think about it again, knowing what you've learned.
Its okay to be confused at something like this. All you have to do is try to take all the emotion and push it off somewhere for even a little bit, so you have some time to think things through...
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16/f
Hi! Well I hate that I am so shy the first time I meet someone. Whenever I meet someone for the first time I am ridiculously shy especially when its a cute guy, and I don't really know why because once I know the person I am COMPLETE opposite! Its hard for me to approach a guy that I think is cute the first time I see him, like everyone i guess i get nervous, but i'm just tired of that. Many of my friends can just go up to a guy and say 'hi, i'm so and so blah blahh' but i just cant. I guess my problem is like a lot of other girls i'm afraid of rejection and I am self conscious. with the whole self conscious thing the problem is when i want to approach a cute guy, i get intimidated by other girls in the room who i think are better than me and i start to think, why would this guy want to talk/dance with me when he could talk to all these other better girls. and really im not normally this self conscious its just when im around guys im first meeting, thats why i cant figure out why im so shy. please help me find a way to become confident! THANKS!
Confidence cannot be taught, but it can be learned. A self-concious thing is really a hard thing to get over, but it can be. One step is optimism. You have to avoid any thoughts that lead to negativity about yourself. I'm not saying that when you see a pretty girl, you think,"I'm so prettier than her..." I'm saying you think, "she's pretty" and not let it bother you.
Shyness can really be overcome through exposure to what your shy about. Its like stage fright. You are afraid to be infront of people and be you, but when you do, you notice your good at it, enjoy it, and want to do it again...
If that's a bad analogy. Consider this, its like the first time you ever ride a rollercoaster. Your scared out of your mind and you want out fast. But you have to fight that fear and get through it or you'll miss out on a lot.
You can do it, even when you think you can't or get scared, you have to say, "get through this" and do it. I know you can.
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I've been going out with my bf for 2 months now. Even though it's not been that long it feels like it has been because we have been best friends for about a year now like we know everything about each other. I think i love him. But if i say that too anyone they would laugh because we've only been together for 2 months.
I'm scared incase he'll be the same.
When he was with his last girlfriend he cheated on her while on holiday for 3 weeks during the summer. They had alot of problems though. And not this summer i'm going on the same 3 weeks holiday. Obviously i'm not going to cheat on him, i couldn't. And to be honest i don't think he could either. But i'm scared incase when i come back everything will have changed or it won't be the same.
He's started working now aswell, i don't work, but it's weird because we're finding it hard to see each other. Obviously we do see each other nd tht and when we do its great we have a great time. Will the stage of not seeing each other as much being annoying pass? because we were with each other like everyday so its just a bit weird
You should atleast stay in contact as much as possible just to keep the relationship there, even if you can't find a way to be together.
Plan stuff together. Planning allows both of you time to be with each other at good moments and without spontanious interuption. It also allows you guys to hang out on times where nothing gets in the way, such as work. If you guys plan well ahead and plan well, its possible to even vacation together.
But again if you can't, its best to atleast keep in contact whether it be phone or email
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hey guys
i'm going to be a junior this year in high school, and i'm starting to look at colleges. i've narrowed what i want to do down to two things: music production and/or management or law. i've always been a total music junkie, and i can play quite a few instruments well, so i'm looking at berklee college of music.
i really want to produce albums and/or manage acts. it seems like something that i would enjoy and would be good at, too. the thing that i'm worried about, however, is finding a job in the field. i guess what i'm asking is for some advice on how i would go about getting a job like that, particularly management.
thanks to everyone and anyone who can help
~collin
You should do what you enjoy. Take in mind the time it'll take to learn what you need, the cost, and how often the type of job is going to be open and how well you'll do in that area. Law is a great area to learn in, there are many different options that ask for that field from college. Music production and Management isn't a wide field, but has its own advantages. I personally suggest taking law and have some music areas on the side. That way, you get a feel for law and still have the music options open!
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Help... i don’t have a father.. I feel like an empty space in my heart. my mother cant even give me any info on him. My mother doesn’t even like my fiancé I feel torn apart depress
Most people tend to follow another person as a fatherly figure. Maybe a friends dad, an older friend, or another person who you feel actually cares for you. I can't really tell you how to deal with it, but you can find all sorts of ways to find him. Of course, its also if you have the money...
And your mom isn't likely to like your fiance...
1) your technically all she's got now
2) if you marry, she won't have you
3) she prolly feels she needs a male in the house
4) your her son, maternal instincts say that she needs you near by
Maybe you should try talking to her, ask her why she dislikes you fiance and try to compromise with her. I can't tell you it'll go completely smooth, but it'll help both you and your mother
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Last night I had this dream about this guy I used to really like. I guess you could say we were going out, but it did'nt last long cause I had to move. I mean we went on one date, held hands and stuff. Well we both really liked each other alot. I guess I never really got any closure cause I was stupid and was too scared to even talk to him before I moved, but I really miss him. and I dont he's still on my mind alot. Little things still remind me of him. I dont know it's just kind of bugging me. Any thought or advice on and for this? It'd be greatly appreciated. Please and thankyou in advance.
Mostpeople might tell you its some sort of phase and you'll get over him or something else like, "its just a dream, don't think anything of it..."
Well I think that it might be saying you shouldn't give up. Could be saying you might see him again lter on in life. Or it might be him thinking about you so much his subconscious is connecting with yours. I don't really know, I'm not a dream interpretor. But I can tell you if you experience dreams and see some parts of them in reality, every dream will become significant...
Its really up to you what to make of it.
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Whenever I'm the center of attention, get called on in class, read in front of the class or I'm talking to a cute boy, I BLUSH, then if someone says "wow your so red!", or "your blushing!" I get even redder! is there anyway for me to control my blushing, or better yet, STOP IT!?
Your answers are very much appreciated :]
You know, its normal to blush when your nervous. Everyone does it.
Though you may not like this option, it can help with your blushing problem. More exposure to the things that make you blush can actually help you stop. By exposing yourself to nervous situations, your body learns tolerance for those events, and soon you'll just involentarily stop.
Others will prolly come up with better choices, but let me at least say that make up and other material methods aren't likely to help...
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ok. so. i was gonna add you on myspace. so, i clicked on your link on your column page and it like, sent me a million of your myspace pages!!!!! i had to completely shut down my computer!!!!! seriously, it just kept opening and reopening your page!! what the hell?!?!?!??!!?!?!?!?!?!?
I dont know what to say. Sorry that happened but I tried and it opened one page. The problem could have been that the link was clicked the wrong way(dont ask me how, I just know it can happen), or it could be the web browser you use.
Again, Im sorry for the problem, that was not intended nor suppose to happen. If you want to try again, My URL is : myspace.com/fallenangelrisendemon
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14/f
i always knew that i wanted to have a career in music when i grew up. and i still want to pursue a music career and get a record deal and hit the big time and all that. but i dont know where to start. my favorite band is paramore, and i really want to start a band like paramore. i already write my own songs but i dont know how to start a band. my friend caleb is already in a band and idk if there is a lead singer (that is what i'd like to be) so how do i ask??
also, how can i get my band off the ground and get a recording contract and all that?? please help!! thanks!
What you really want to do if you really want to form a band is commit. Plan everything. Get connections to get members, know what you want your band to sound like, get members and hear how they sound so you can match what you want to what they can do, connections and exposure.
Myspace tends to be one of the best places to get underground bands exposed to people. If you have a way of recording music, load a few songs. Once you get enough fans to impress someone, a record company will come to you.
And just ask your friend Caleb if they have one. Simple as that. If he asks why, just answer him as honest as you can. If he does, you can always find others who would be willing to join you. If he doesn't, then you've gained a great opportunity.
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Okay so I have this rockin room! PURPLE everywhere I'm 13. It's not a little girly purple it's a little dard ALMOST gothic but not. I have this purple furry bed spread and chair, my bathrooms walls are purple 2 along with shower curtain towls & rug. IT"S like SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO cool. But thing is i just re did it for my 13th b-day.
But I don't it's everything I ever wanted but I just wish it was more...??? me?? Does that make sense. It's like I'm bored when i'm in there sometimes. keep in mind i'm thirteen kay! so idk Is there something I can do to make this room.... ME? ALso is there something "productive" I can do in my spare time this summer in my room?
Tack board to put up posters and places you want to go, pictures of friends too.
Posters in general tend to make a room fit you.
Different kinds of furniture for your room, in quantities. This way if you dont like your room for that moment, your can completely re do it on your own without drastic changes.
Small things. Nothing big. Because you know when your fourteen, your prolly going to want to change your room again...
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15/f/usa/165lbs/5'4
hey. for some reason ive felt lately that i dont "belong" anywhere. Like I do alot of activites, swim team, 4-H, ride horses, play violin, ski. But truth be told, im not like good enough at any of these things. Im good or ok, i do alot of activities but not really super good at any of them. Anyways, I have friends in each of like everything i do, but i always feel left out. At swim team, my friends like ignore me, in 4-H, im left out of what my best friends do together, in orchestra no one talks to me, and i try to bring up convos and such, im rele talkative. And skiing, same thing. I feel like really lonely. And there is only like one person i can tell anything too. But it seems like i dont belong anywhere. And I know i like attention, i was first born, so. I'm starting to think I dont even belong with my family. I guess it doesnt even matter. I have really low-self esteem when i talk about this stuff. And im not exactly happy with myself, im trying to lose weight and look better, i want to be a normal teen, even though there is no such thing as normal. I feel like no one in the world cares about me at times. I feel like an outcast...
Sadly that's a normal feeling all teens will get. Its a natural occurance in activities as well. People will ignore you or you feel they ignore you, especially when you keep the idea of low self esteem in your head. You just have to be yourself and let things come by themselves. If it seems like yopur friends are ignoring you, don't let it bother you, but don't try and get attention either. If you stay quiet and be in the background, true friends will know somethings wrong and will try and help.
Optimism is also a key factor. If you think negatively about things, negative events will happen. But if remain positive, they're less likely to happen. Can't say they won't, cause they will. You may also need to learn attention isn't everything. Exposing yourself to too much attention can lead to times of loneliness if you suddenly don't get that same amount of or more attention. But it can all change if you are willing...
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Well, I've become close to this guy, I can tell him anything and everything and I trust him with all I have. The only time I saw him was school and outside of school too. But now that its summer, I haven't seem him in a while, and it's driving me nuts because I like him more then a friend, and he knows that, he likes me too but we're not dating. So that means, he can do whatever he wants. I know he cares for me and wants me to be happy and see me, but, lately, him and his friends have been hanging out with these girls they've known since summer has started, which was only about two or three weeks ago. And I'm afraid the guy I like is going to fall for one of the girls and forget all about me. I don't know what to do. We've known each other then he's known the girls, but I can't help free will. People always say guys go to bed and wake up thinking of the girl they care about, it used to be me, I know it, but what if its not anymore? What do I do?
If it worries you a lot, try to keep in contact with him as much as possible. Texting him or calling him can decrease your worries, though don't constantly call or message him. Emails work the same way too. Communication is always the key to a healthy relationship.
If you can't comunicate with him without being face to face, then try to set up plans so you can meet up with him. Wanting to be with him says that you still want him, and he will prolbably see this.
And if he's the great guy you make him seem like, then you shouldn't worry at all. As a guy, he'll have friends that will expose him to lots of girls. Its something to get use to later. But as long as you have hope, things should be better
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what the heck is incest or insest? I'm cousin dating cousin. Is it really so bad? what if your a christian and lets say 4th cousins? What would happen?
Incest is a relationship with relatives, such as a sibling or parent. As far as how far apart in blood relations you can be before it becomes incest is beyond me.
Besides, its your life. So don't let judgements and people tell you to do otherwise...
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I am 16 and a guy.. My best friend just told me that she liked me. We have been friends for a while but I don't know what to do. It gets akward when we are around the group and I don't know if we should take it farther. I need some advice.
If you think there can be something between you two, then go ahead. Friends tend to last longer in relationships than blind dates or some girl you knew but you just met. Its not a known fact per say, but they result better.
Be prepared for a lot though. Though nothing will change dramatically at once, a lot can change without you noticing. Whether they are done involentary or on purpose, just watch yourself and what happens. It'll help as time goes
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