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Is it RUDE??
I was studying at a cafe today, when the guy next to me (just for the sake of talking to me), asked if I knew how to fill out information for some computer thing...I said I didn't, and resumed with my work. Less than a minute later, he turned around and asked me, "are you single?" and I replied, "I don't see why that matters." I felt a little awkward, so I got up and left the area, and under his breath he said " it's just a question." Was my answer/reaction a little uncalled for or rude? Now, to clarify, I don't care about how he felt, but I want to know for future reference...I mean, guys/men ask little questions all the time, and sometimes women want to know how to respond. I do not want to be rude, but I don't want to be a pushover either. Anyway, any advice/comments are greatly appreciated! By the way, I am 23/F.
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Maybe give some free advice about: Random Weirdos?
Hmm... well, not necessarily rude, but next time, try to let him down easily. It sounds like he thought you were pretty/cool and wanted to ask you out, but if you aren't okay with that, you can just say, "I'm not looking for a relationship right now, sorry" or something along those lines. Let him know where you stand without hurting anyone's feelings. It's good that you wanted to be straightforward, but I doubt he was trying to rape you or anything, so there's no need to be snippy.
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Like Cux, my first response when reading it
was the same. How rude. :)
I do understand that being single and not
wanting to be hassled by men can be a
problem. However, single guys wanting to
meet women will ask or they will never
know. Nothing like thinking later that
you should have just asked.
You might have said, "I'm single but
not interested". Maybe even, "I'm
sorry, not trying to be rude, but thats
none of your business."
I know you don't care about how he felt.
But even that sounds a little rude. You
need to remember that everyone has feelings.
Keep in mind that a guy who asks you
questions may have been working up the
courage to talk to you for a while. Be
firm, but as polite as possible. Only get
rude if they just don't seem to get it. :)
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When I was reading it, I was thinking, "how rude.."
So yes, I do think it was a bit rude, but sometimes you have to be a little pushy to get a message across. It was good that you didn't say yes and get all flirty, when we know you weren't interested.
I would say that in the future you should try to be a little less disphemistic and say it more in a nice manner. I probably would have went home and wondered what I did wrong if I was that guy.. haha.
--Jack
(16/m)
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I think you were a wee bit snappy! He probably didn't want to be caught talking to you if your bouyfriend turned up or something and then get beaten up! lol. Maybe he was just being really friendly and asked the wrong things, and the fact that he whispered under his breath "It's just a question", shows he was a bit confused as to why you reacted that way, and getting up and leaving was a bit uncalled for, if you didn't want to be bothered you could've said something more polite, like "Sorry, I am a bit busy."
Ask Venzuela
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Its usually depends. You can sort of figure out a guys intention by how they ask. And that tends to take time to get use to in order to figure it out. Buts its usually just rude to even ask if you dont know the person your asking.
But if you want to avoid any misunderstanding, just ask why. Dont answer the question, just ask why. Then you can hear the guy's intention.
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I don't think it was rude. It was straight forward so you didn't lead him on, which is good. He was probably just pouting because he was rejected lol :)
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