about

My mission on Advicenators is to be honest. People lie when they answer because they want to be rated high, but I think people ask strangers on Advicenators things because they want an honest answer.
My alias is Farren, and I'm in 9th grade. I think I'm mature for my age, but that could just be self-dilusion. I believe that everyone is in some way self-dilusional. So yeah, ask me a question if you want.

advice

i still cant stop wat i look at on my computer, i have tried everything, but, i feel farther and farther away from god every time. Please help

Disconnect your internet or get a program that blocks the evil websites. The only person who can make you stop is yourself. Try prayer, God helps, but he can only open the doors, you have to walk through them.
-Farren

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I just got spacers about 4 hours ago. I felt just a pinch when I got them on but now they hurt so much I cannot bite down. On Jan. 12 I will be getting braces. I am wondering are they going to hurt more then the spacers, and how can I relieve the pain. Thanks in advance.

I have braces, and when I first got them I really hated them. I bit down on them, so they put fillings in two of my teeth so I couldn't bite down completely. It was hard to chew things, making it almost unbearable to eat, and my teeth were really really sore. Getting them put in doesn't hurt, but afterwards they're really annoying. Don't worry though, they don't hurt after about a week (for me, at least), and they make your teeth straight so it's worth it.
-Farren

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so. my best friend introduced me to a guy she dated about a year ago.He ended up falling for me, and then he got me to fall for him. and..we were in love. Seriously. The feeling is just to hard to explain. We basically did everying except sex, and oral sex. I look back on it, and it makes my skin crawl. So, he ended it with me about a month ago, and he let me down pretty hard. It hurt so bad, but then I found out what an ass hole he was. (He cheated on my best friend) I'm finally over him, but the problem is, sometimes, when I'm alone I can't stop thinking about him, and it makes my cry so hard. I just can't forget how he made me feel. I hate it because I'm dating someone else now, who is so great, and treats me so much better. I feel unfaithful almost. What can I do to forget him!? I'm 15, and a girl...obviously. Rarr! I can't handle this!

Open up notepad and type everything you think, everything that's happened to you, and everything you want, then get a friend or someone to read it. It helps, really.
-Farren

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my friend and i just started talking again and i am asking like how skool is going for her and how she has been! but all her answers are just "good"! how do i get her to talk more?

Okay hun, this may be hard to hear, but she probably doesn't want to talk to you. I wouldn't want to talk to you if all you ask is "how skool is going", leave the friend alone and start coming up with more creative conversation. Just trying to be honest, not mean, because that's why people ask Advicenators, right? Or do you want people to be nice and lie to you?
-Farren

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My friend is going out with a guy that's a year younger than us (whom i like too.)He's like my best guy friend and i feel a little protective of him because a lot of people just want to go out with him for his looks and it's so annoying to me because they don't even know him the way i do. He flirts with me online and we can besically talk about anything. His girlfriend now won't even talk to him and she wants to break up with him, although i don't think she will. Please help! What should i do! i can't talk to him alone anymore because of her and i really just want to be with him! Should i ask her how she feels about him and and how she feels the relationship is going, in a friendly way? I'm not sure what i should do. I need another person's oppinion. Just to let you know, i'm 14, he's 13.

Talk to your friend about how the relationships going. If she's your friend, you shouldn't let a guy get between it. Just stay his friend and wait it out, if you do anything that he might think ruined his relationship with the girl then he may dislike you for it, guys are stupid like that. xD
-Farren

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well, at my school rap is reallllly gay. Everyone is punk or emo which i think is gay. If i tell them that they all hate me and get mad **my friends++ and if i say i like rap they think im a freak. What do I do? Please donttell me to not care about what they think...because i do.

also-- same subject

I like anime. No one does at my school but one or two totally ourkasts. sorry if thats mean but they are. And, no one knows i like anime, but i want to put anime layouts etc on xanga, notebooks, and just draw it. What do i do?/

thanks

I'm pretty sure your friends won't care if you like anime or not, just as long as they don't think "anime = pokemon". As for music and anime, online friends! Online friends are cool, I'm sure you could find someone to talk to, maybe even here on advicenators.
Anime -is- awesome, lots of people like it at my school, -lots- of people, so don't feel like an outcast for liking it. Now about the rap...my personal opinion is rock is better, but hey, I'm sure there's -someone- you can meet who likes rap, even if it's someone online.

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I have three really close friends, Taylor, Sarah, and Alyssa. We're all completely different but we get along really well.

So now here's my question, Alyssa's going out with this guy, Micheal. And Taylor and I don't like him at all, infact we hate him. He lives in a differnt city now, but when he did live out here he went out with two of my other friends... and cheated on both of them. Alyssa looks past this because she's been in love with him for almost a year. He never really showed interest in her until a month ago when he was horny and she was willing.

Then Julia his latest ex and Alyssa's good friend found out and got mad at both of them. Because Alyssa didn't ask if it was ok to be with him, even though he and Alyssa didn't actually go out just do... stuff... Then after all the fights, Micheal has the nerve to actually ask her out. And Julia get's pissed again because she warned Aly about him.

But then the cherry on top was that Alyssa bring's him to Sarah's birthday, uninivted, of course Taylor and I make him feel so akward he leaves. Then Alyssa lies and leaves halfway through the party saying she has to go home. To hang out with him, and when we find out and call her, she lies about where she is and who she's with saying she's christmas shopping.

What should I do she doesn't listen and he's an ass. Who's already cheated on her once and they've only been going out for about two weeks.
And she's a virgin and he's reeeeeally horny!!!!!

Explain your thoughts to her, and if she doesn't listen there isn't much you can do. The hardest thing about being a friend is letting others make their own mistakes, but we have to. Maybe your first impression wasn't right, you should try to be friends with her boyfriend.
-Farren

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I have this one really good friend, and let's call her Jane. Jane and I met last year, when I came to her school for a gifted program. Jane and I became kinda friends, but I made a best friend that I'll call Kristen. It's a year later, and now were all good friends. But on the bus the other day, this girl I'll call Sam bad mouthed my friend. I asked Kristen if she liked Jane, and she said no not really. Jane is a really good friend of mine but I don't know what to do?

Be friends with both, but don't make them hang out with each other if they don't want to. It should be fine to hang out with both of them at different times.
-Farren

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My boyfriend and I have been dating for over a month now. We dont get to see each other that much because we go to different schools, but im going to his school next month so things will get better. Well this weekend he wants to do somthin, but its up to me to find out somewhere for us to go on our date. We went to the movies last weekend so i want to go somewhere new. So if you have any good date ideas, please help.

Ice skating. 'Tis lots of fun.
-Farren

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Hi the is bAhAmAmA0250 i have a column on here and I given alot of peopl advice but i cant do it for myself.. so please help. I have alot of things going on in my life. Some i cant really help.. both my grandma's have cancer and my other uncle is in the cities living in ICU off one of those machinesa all because he needs a heart transplant.. he had a mechanical one but something went wrong. My other uncle is waiting for a new kidney but he is doing ok but its still hard. My cousin Luke is in Iraq (coming home in summer hopefully!!) My cousin nicole which is his sis jus got married.. and i dont know we used to be really close and i havent heard from her once sense oct. My dad lives so far away from me i used to live out east with him when our parents were together.. but yeah so thats hard me. My problem is that i have a hard time even really excepting this and i feel like this isnt raelly making my family any closer.. i feel likes its kinda pulling them apart because they're scarred.. And they dont tell me much i usually have to find out for myself. Or am i just not seeing any good sides of this at all?

Friends are the family we make for ourselves. During hard times look for comfort in friends.
I'll pray for you hun.
-Farren

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Ok, there's this guy at my school (i live in Vermont) who everyone thinks is gay. Even though the rumors are most likely not true, no one wants to be his friend because of rumors, and neither do my friends. I really think it's terrible how people treat him, and I want to be his friend; I don't believe sexual orientation should affect friendship. How should I be his friend without making my friends mad, or making him feel uncomfortable when my friends want to hang out with me?

Yeah, sexual orientation should not affect friendship. Talk to your friends about your thoughts, and they should respect your wishes to be friends with the guy. Maybe if they see you being friends with him it will influence them to try it out. But yeah, the people at your school are pretty ignorant, most people are though.
-Farren

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Okay, I'm goin out w/ this guy we'll call hi "John" John is a very sweet guy who I used to be friends w/ up until a few days ago. He found out I had liked him all year and I also found this out about him so we decided to go out. I can tell he still really likes me b/c of what he says and how we're always around each other but I have 3 questions! 1) he's really shy. his ex said it takes him a few weeks but how can i make him feel more comfortable till then. 2) How can I get him to hold my hand or kiss me or anything! 3) How do we make it last over x-mas break. we never see each other when we're not in school!

1) Be spontaeneous and kiss him, 2) refer to 1, 3) set up a date, if he's really shy movies might be good, since you don't have to talk during the movie and he can get comfortable while you watch it and you guys can hang out afterwards.

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well I am a 19 year old female who has been in a relationship with a guy for 4 years. I feel i am insecure about myself and constantly feel myself feeling and thinking that i am not as pretty as the girls that he sees. I have become controlling because i tell him he cant look at other girls and he can not have girl friends. I feel if he loves me like he says he does then why does he need to talk to other girls. I do not like him to work with pretty girls because i am afraid that he will flirt with them and not tell me. I get angry when he stares at other girls. We are constntly fighting. Is this all my fault. How can i stop being so scared that he is going to leave me for someone better. Even though everyday he says he wont i still get scared. And when i even see a pretty girl i say she is ugly so he wontlook . i know we care and love eachother so much . i do not want us to fight we are getting married soon please help my problem stop

Okay, the way you're behaving will ruin the relationship. There should always be balance in a relationship, not one person who's overly controlling. Don't be afraid of other girls, he can have female friends. I mean, do you think of all of your guy friends as more than friends? Guys aren't always like that, and if you think your soon to be husband -is- like that, then you shouldn't be getting married. You're being unfair to him, and it might make him embarassed to be around you in public, which isn't good. Just get over it, even though it might be hard, trust him a little bit. I'll pray for you hun, good luck with the marriage.
-Farren

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I really like this guy, and he just happens to be my best friend. I know everyone says that if you go out with one of your good friends, it will ruin the friendship. Well I don't believe that because I think all good relationships are based on a previous friendship. Well anyways- one of my really close girl friends is the one he likes, and I don't want him to ask her out, but I think he's going to because that's what he told me. I know I'm really good friends with her, but I just find it hard to support her in this situation. It's not that I want him to not ask her out and ask me out, but I would rather him not go out with anyone because I'm afraid he'll act different around me if he's going out with someone because normally we always flirt and stuff. Can anybody tell me how I'm supposed to tell him that and be honest with him without him getting mad at me or thinking I'm wrong to say that?

You can't tell him that without him getting mad at you or thinking you're wrong to say that, because you would be wrong to say that. They like each other, you should step aside and let what happens happen. If you really care about your friends and think they have a chance of having a good relationship, you shouldn't say anything, because really, would your friend not go out with her because you said so? And if he wouldn't because you didn't want him to, would you be able to face your female friend?
Anyway, hope I helped.
-Farren

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ok well ever since I first met him in high school I kinda started to like him and well not so long ago maybe 2 weeks ago I told him I liked him in an email and well he didn't talk to me well maybe small things like hello and something but not like before after that but he just looked at me all the time then when I told him to just forget it cause I knew he'd act different well he stopped talking to me and looking at me he like avoids me I'm still deeply in love with him but all I know is he likes hot girls and I'm not hot and iunno he isn't that hot but looks don't count and he just won't even bother saying hi to me or anything. can u plz help I don't know what to do

Let it go. He doesn't like you, and it doesn't sound like you planned on marrying him. That's really all you can do. If you try to make him talk to you, then he might be less willing to and think you're obsessed with him or something.
Desperate's not the right word for it, but it's the first that comes to mind.
I'll pray for you hun.
-Farren

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me and my boyfriend of 5 months dont go to the same school but we see eachother ALOT i love him to death and everything is perfect with him except that im always the one who has to go to see him...i go over there every wednesday and mostly on the wekeends....SOMETIMES he comes to the mall which is close 2 my house....he never has a ride and stuff...but my mom is like oh he has to come over here before i let you go back to his house because he never comes over here and i always hav to take you over there.....what can i do? he cant take the bus or drive or nothing but its not fair to me...

Talk to him about it, don't ask Advicenators, he'll know what he can do for transportation more than we will.
-Farren

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i have to do this thingy in front of my class.. which is 36 people and i have to memorize it... its a monologue. and im scared. i think imn gunna go out there and like freeze!! what do i do? 13/f

Say it in front of your family first, or friends. If you can do it in front of family and friends, you shouldn't worry about what people you don't associate with think about it.
Anyway, I'll pray for you hun.
-Farren

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Right now there is this guy that i have known for five years that I've had a tangled history with, we are now 15 and 14. He first notices me a little over two years ago and acted like he hated me, but it definately got my attention. That summer he admitted to liking me and we dated for a month. He then suddenly broke it off. We grew majorily apart, mainly from angry and I was very hurt. He was still interested in me when we started school the next year, but never said anything, so I moved on to other guys. We remained really good friends, growing closer again day by day. We almost went out again the beginning of this school year, but he said something just didn't feel right. We continued to talk very seriously (something unlikely from a guy) but it hasn't developed. Now he is dating a girl from his church, and insists he couldn't be with me because i don't share the same beliefs and values. He knows this hurts me because it isn't true, and still continues to flirt and about getting serious. I've tried to forget about it but I can't, what should I do?

Let it go. Just let it go. You're always the one waiting by his side. He's the one breaking up with you, giving reasons you can't be together. Just let it go, it's not working out, and it's not good for you to continue like this. He has a girlfriend now. Stop hurting yourself and move on.
-Farren

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hello! me and my boyfriend have dated for 3 months and then we broke up. But know we started dating again. And know he is different, he wont touch me i always have to grab him. like grab his hand if i want to hold it. what should i do?

Talk to him about it. Maybe you guys should've stayed broken up, but you both just wanted to be with someone. A lot of people let relationships go on longer than they should, and unless you plan on marrying him maybe you should just let it go if he's changed and he isn't the same person you liked before.
-Farren

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well me and steve are "together" i guess and he has been grounded for a few weeks so we are hangin out on friday , we really like eachother and i heard he might ask me out next time we hangout so i dont know... i want something fun to do we were going to go out with our friends who are together, i but i dont know if we`re all going together but we probably will. we were going to go to the movies then go to his house but he doesnt really want to go to his house. any ideasss? thankss oh yea we are all 15 and 16 (just if anyone wanted to know)

Ice skating, roller blading, and things like that are really fun. They sound cheesy, but I promise they aren't. My friends and I always go to the movies, and it gets sort of old, so things like that are always fun, because you aren't just watching something, you can interact and stuff. Hope you guys have fun wherever you decide to go!
-Farren

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