Deanimal's advice column

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Q: Well, my boyfriend has been away on spring break for the past week and a half and I miss him a lot. He told me to call him during the day, and nights to talk to him.(As I usually do) So, I tried calling the first night and his phone was off, the second night it was still off. Well, last night I finally got to talk to him on AIM, and he said he missed me & missed talking with me. I really miss him, too. And it made me real happy that he said that. Anyway, does anyone know anything I could say to him to make him feel like I really missed him? Because I dunno, he's always first to say those types of things, and I don't want him to feel like I don't like him. Thaaanks.

Ariel

Next time you call him and you get his voicemail, leave him a nice message. (Whether that actually means naughty is up to you :P)

I'm sure he knows you miss him/love him/ pine for him.

Give him a big hug next time you see him! :D

Q: hey, i need some help. i'm a 16-yr-old girl, 110 lbs, and 5'6. i'm really skinny. i guess there's some good from that, like not worrying about eating something yummy with a huge amount of calories in it. but still, i want to gain some weight before i go to college next semester (i'm graduating early). the thing is, i will probably be one of the yongest people there and i'll look very small among all those 18-20-something-yr-olds. what can eat that's healthy and rich in calories at the same time? and how can i make myself look a little older without being fake? i know, its silly but i already feel like a baby in my senior class, i don't want to feel like that in college.

Ever hear about the Freshman Fifteen? That would be the bit of extra weight everyone gains their first year of college.

You'll gain weight soon enough. ;)

Q: This may sound like a stupid question but, what is the difference between a physchologist and a physchiatrist? Thanks -kait

If it helps I want to go into this field as a profession. Does anyone know any good colleges that have a good physchology program? Specifically helping Kids and teens.

Psychiatrists can prescribe medicine, and are medical doctors. Psychologists can counsel people, but quite often they study the human psyche and things associated with it. And there are a LOT more fields to psychology. They study/do more things. Not all of them are counselors, like psychiatrists are.

I'm sorry, I haven't got any schools for you.

Q: im not really sure what is happening.. but lately like the last 3 or 4 times my boyfriend has fingered me it has stung so bad! im not sure why it is or anything.. i mean like when he does it just hurts so bad i want him to stop.. but then like if he does it again the same night it doesnt hurt like really really bad.. i think its the way im sitting or something im not sure.. its not easy talkin to him about things like this.. bc he wouldnt know what to say i know.. i mean we have been together for a long time but it jus wouldnt be easy.. but when i come home or w.e i check and see if anything looks any different and it doesnt it jus stings and it even does like two days afterward im not sure what to do can someone quickly give me some advice!

Make sure he washes his hands (and RINSES!) before he fingers you. There might be stuff on his hands that is irritating you.

If that doesn't help, see a gyno.

Q: ok in my english class I have to write a paper on a assigned topic. My topic is abortions. I need opinions and any information that is good and bad about abortions. Please I need help on this. I have my own opinion but I need more than just what I think.

Well, first decide which side you are on. The point of a persuasive is to be opinionated. Then, gather facts, studies, articles, and websites about abortion. This should not be hard. Google is your best friend. Find as many things to support your side as possible and then present these facts in an original and coherant fashion. (ie the ESSAY)

I'm quite on the fence about abortion, I haven't decided if I support it or not. I would be a very good person to try and convince for your point of view. If you would like me to read your essay and tell you if I'm convinced, feel free to IM me or email me. My info is in my column.

Q: Hey I was wondering how do you make a collage(on the computer)? Like with all your pics and stuff. Do I do it on paint? Can anyone give me step by step instructions on how to do it?

You can either do it in photoshop(easier), or paint would work too, I guess.

1. Open all the files you want.

2. Open a blank, or "new" file.

3. One by one, select the picture or part of the picture you want, copy, and paste into the new file. You can control where it goes by making one of those litte "select" boxes before hitting paste.

4. One the pics are in place, save the new collage!

Q: do you need a pap smear if you get fingered if so how bad and if not when do you have to get one

It's not necessary, but it wouldn't hurt. If you do, tell your gyno what happened (not detailedly or anything) Trust me, she's heard EVERYTHING. You can get your mom to leave of you want, and she won't say anything.

You should get a pap after the first time you have sex, or when you are eighteen, whichever comes first.

It's a bit uncomfortable, but it's worth it to be healthy.

Q: hey im 15 and never had a boyfriend, and not even kissed someone, and all my friends have! i dont hang around with any guys, so how can i meet a guy?
thanxz for the help
♥

Well.... hang around some guys. Surely one of your friends has some guy friends? Hang around with them until you're comfortable with guys. Then make some guy friends of your own. Soon you will have many guy friends, and romantic possibilites are not far behind.

Q: Hey I need urgent help and I will rate fives to anyone who helps me!!!

Well my mom's b-day is coming up and I am making her a clay precious moments figurine,but the problem is I do not have the money this second to buy some clay so does anyone have a good recipe for making pottery clay?

This should do you fine:

2 cup flour
1 1/3 cup salt
4 tsp. powdered alum or cream of tarter
2 cup boiling water
4 tsp. vegetable oil
food coloring (if wanted)

Put all the dry ingredients in a bowl, then add the oil and boiling water. Stir until dough is tough but pliable and does not stick to the bowl. Knead in color if that tickles your fancy.

If kept in an airtight container, the dough will last for a long time. If left out, you can dry your projects overnight. :D

Q: i am a 6 ft 15 yr old female and i was just wondering, is being tall a turn off? i have a thin frame and get called 'hot' sometimes, so excluding looks is being tall a bad thing? through a mutual friend i have with my brother i found out what my brothers mates were saying about me 'imagine having sex with bozzas sister what a tall freak forget that I'd rather have sex with bozza' (LOL, note: that was the cleaned up version)

Like almost any physical feature, some guys like it, and some don't.

Some guys really really like tall girls, some don't. A lot don't really care either way.

I bet you look like a goddess/model. Tall and thin is quite attractive, in my opinion. No worries, sister, you sound gorgeous.

Don't worry about morons who would talk about you like that.

Q: i have a boyfriend and he nevers calls or any thing with his old girlfriend he would call every day but when i call hes never home and we never hang out with his old girl friend thay would always hang out but his friends say he really likes me but then one only ONE of his friends say he doseint like me wut should i do dose he like me?:(

Ask him what's up. You've got to talk to him.

If all else fails, break up with him. You deserve better. You shouldn't have to wonder if he likes you or not. It should be a given. That goes for guys too. People in general deserve better. It sounds like you two just don't click as well as you could.

Before you do anything drastic, tell him what's on your mind.

Q: I recently found out that my boyfriend drinks. Every fiber of my bones is completely and utterly against drinking and alcohol. I hate it like you would not believe. My dad was an alcoholic and my best friend died from drinking and driving a few years ago.

I love him. I really do. I care about him and beg him not to drink. But he tells me he knows his limits. He says he doesnt get drunk just "tipsy". The other night he went out with a few of his friends and they played drinking games. He didnt tell me about it but his friend did.

I feel lied to. I feel betrayed. I know it's his life and he can do as he pleases. I dont want him to think Im trying to control him. But I dont want him to die either.

Help me. Should I leave? Should I stay? How can I look past his drinking habits?

If it really bothers you that much, give him an ultimatum.

Tell him if he continues drinking, even to the point of getting "tipsy" it's over.

You might want to allow him to drink occaisionally not to the point of getting tipsy, but like... ONE drink. Not in your presence of course. If even that bothers you, that's ok. Set your limits.

When you set the ultimatum... STICK TO IT, or he'll walk allll over you.

You also need to talk to him about his deception and broken promises. Maybe he only had a drink or so at the party?

If he refuses to change his habits for you, at least partially, or he continues lying, you've got to have some self respect and leave.

Q: Hey, I like this guy alot, but he always wants me to do stuff with him more than kissing. Im 14 and I dont really want to b/c Im a Christian and I dont like to do stuff like that ..but I like him ALOT HELP ME!

You have to set your standards. NO GUY is worth doing more than you want to do if it's past what you're comfortable with.

Tell him if he cares at all, he will respect your boundaries. If he persists, leave him. It doesn't matter how much you like him, a guy that doesn't respect you isn't worth the time, effort, or emotion, I don't care how "perfect" he is otherwise.

Sit down and think about exactly how far you are comfortable going. Stick to this spot until it changes. It may change as you get older, as you meet new people, or as your marital status changes. No matter what, don't allow yourself to be pressured by anything.

I admire you for your morals.

Q: Well there is this guy in my class that i have a crush on him since i met him. I knew him since kindergarden and i am almost a freshman. Well, my bestest friend loves him still, because she hadnt gotten over thier break up since seventh grade ( i think). He has just gotten out of a relationship with one of our other friends, and he said he didnt want anybody fighting. Well that went well. He had been flirting with my friend and i and he was playing us. He would tell me one day that he likes me more than my friend, but at the end of the day, he told my friend that he really didnt like me, but liked her. I dont know what to do. My friend still wants to go out with him, but i dont want her to get hurt again because how it went last time. She wont listen to me, because she thinks that i am just jealous. I just want to be good friends with him, like we were before he started flirting with us. I just dont know what to do. Can u help me... us?

It sounds like there needs to be a dating ban on ALL of you. If you truely care about each other, he won't date(or flirt with) either of you, and the two of you will not bicker and will try to resist jealousy about it.

All of you need to have a talk. If that isn't plausible, talk to both of them seperately. Tell him you'd appreciate if you could keep it platonic, and tell her to ask him the same thing.

If none of that works, you might want to back out and let her have him, and find someone else, or enjoy being single, cause it's not guaranteed that they'll comply.

Q: Whenever i have like.. time to myself, i always seem sad, and sometimes even when im with friends, family, or people in groups im in.. i never talk..because.. well im just sad. sometiems there are no reasons, and i always wonder why.. but other times, its because since im adopted.. i never met my parents, and sometimes i just want to meet them so bad that i dream about who i would be if i never got adopted and stuff.. then i start crying... can you help me stop this, or find out.. why???
THANKS IF YOU ANSWER!!

Oooh, poor baby.

You should see a psychiatrist. Or at least give the school counselor a visit. They're usually very very nice and helpful.

When you have sad feelings, try not to dwell on them and do things that make you happy.

Ask your parents if they will help you trace your biological parents, they probably can provide you with help and information.

Best of Luck, sweet pea

Q: hey. alright, im kind of nervous about shaving below my belt. does it itch growing back? how do i prevent razorburn? should i just use shaving cream? what about nair? if anyone could give me some tips or adivce on doing it, that'd be great.

Shaving your pubes is a very personal matter, and if you want to, go for it, sexually active or not. It doesn't itch too badly growing back.

They make a special nair for bikini lines, you might want to try it, the complex curvature of genitals makes it hard to shave.

If you *do* shave, use shaving cream, yes, that will help prevent razor burn.

::edit::
Oh, I forgot. If your hair down there is long, TRIM IT FIRST. It's quite hard to shave long hair.

Q: i know alot of girls probably do this.. but i always compare myself to models and girls who i believe are prettier than me.. im always putting myself down and looking in the mirror finding everything thats wrong with me and wishing i was perfect like other girls I know... does anyone else do the same.. how do you get over it

Most women (and some men!) do that. It's really really hard to avoid. You have to remember that it's a models *occupation* to look good. They have people waiting on them 24/7, telling them what to eat, when to sleep, what to do, and all of that. And they seem to look flawless, but trust me, they aren't, and they're insecure too. So are your "perfect" friends.

If you're worried about being perfect for the opposite sex, you should know that boys aren't NEARLY as picky as girls think them to be. I mean, do you only look at the top 5% of the male population? I bet not. It really really IS personality. If you're confident and fun and interesting, that's all you need. Pretty but boring girls aren't any fun.

Moving on, find something (preferable several somethings) that you really like about yourself, body or mind. Whenever you start to worry about how you look, think about those things. Wear clothes that look nice on you and flatter you. Take a bit of time to look nice once in a while. Look into the mirror and think "I'm really not so bad. Pretty, in fact."

Self-acceptance and love is a loooong journey.

Q: i want to loose weight. I am 14 female adn 5'4". i weigh 138 punds and want to loose like 13 pounds by the summer. Anyone got any ideas? mostly i want to loose some of my legs and tighen up my abs! I RATE HIGH!!

13 pounds seems a bit excessive, fyi, you're already thin. You say that you want to lose weight in your legs and abs. There really isn't a way to lose weight in specific places before other places, you just have to let it come off as it pleases naturally.

I don't reccomend weight training your legs, or they'll get bulky, which, I'm sure you don't want. Doing crunches every other day (not every day, or it won't work) will both tighten your abs a little bit and increase your metabolism. When you do a crunch, lie on your back and put your arms at your sides. Lift your torso off the floor, USING YOUR ABS. If you use your back, it won't work. Consentrate on using your abs. Also, do leg lifts. Lie on your back and lift both legs a couple inches off the ground and hold. Hold until it hurts a good bit. Release and repeat about 20 times. Do this on the same day you do your crunches.

On your off days, do cardio. Run, jump, skip, dance, anything that gets you moving in general. Do at LEAST 20 minutes at a time, or it'll be a waste. 30 minutes is preferable.

You likely don't want to diet, but if you would continue eating as you like and only drink water (no soda, juice, or anything else), it will make a big difference. Especially COLD water. Drink it all day. The more you drink, the less water weight you will retain. (A common cause of tummy pooches). Also it will help you digest faster, and, therefore, speed up metabolism.

Happy Slimming!

Q: I was talking to my boyfriend and he got a boner. I happened to glance at it and he noticed me looking and got real embarrassed. I can understand why he'd be embarrassed but now he's scared to talk to me anymore. I don't think it's gross or weird. It's natural and I wish he could see that I don't care. He doesn't have to feel ashamed or anything around me. He makes me horny too. TMI? Sorry!

Well... talk to him. Tell him everything you just told us.

Hey... feel lucky that you don't have the type of boyfriend who announces when he's aroused and is proud of it. (Or maybe you'd like that... it annoys me)

Tell him you don't care and he needn't be ashamed, you understand. He'll get over the awkwardness eventually.

Q: Well, this is probably one of the most random questions I personally have ever asked. I love Panera's French Baguette (sp?) it's basically a long loaf of french bread. It is by far the best bread ever. But, getting to my question, I buy the bread when it is nice and fresh so it's warm and soft. After about 2-3 days, the bread gets hard. Is there any way to prevent the bread from getting hard? I had to put it in the microwave just to make it soft enough to bite into! I can't bite into hard things because I have braces and they might break off. But can anyone tell me as to how I can keep the bread from getting hard and virtually unedible? Thanks!

Eat all the bread up before it gets hard!

Jk... you'll just have to keep it airtightly wrapped. This may or may not work. Of not, keep heating it up. That seems to work, right? Then it's all warm too! :D

bio

My name is Deanna: aka manrashi, banana, deanimal

I'm 15 and I like answering questions. I try to be as competent, coherant, and helpful as possible. Everyone is welcome to ask me questions personally, as it it makes me feel special.

I LOOOVE cooking and drawing and other artistic type things. I also like altering photos and making avvies/icons in photoshop, so I will take any requests for those as well. (email or IM me).

Please rate my advice, and rate it fairly. If I deserve a 2, go ahead and give me one, you won't hurt my feelings.

Pet peeve: people who answer questions just to say "That sucks, I don't know. Sux 2 B u."(If you don't know, why are you answering?) and people who say "Hope I helped!" (Obviously, or you wouldn't have an advice column)

Haha, sorry.

I'm out.
>>-Deanna->