Member Since: July 3, 2013
Answers: 130
Last Update: October 3, 2016
Visitors: 5806
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whats a nickname for my name kayla .? (link)
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Kyle is fun and spunky for a girl!
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I really wanna get into creative arts, such as art, acting, singing, writing etc... but my mom wants me in something involving academics because she thinks she needs someone to know what's going on and my dad wants me to do something athletic because he loves sports, and I like sports, to be honest, but not enough to put my heart into. You know, wake up 2:00am to practice, and I like sciences and politics, but after 30 minutes I'll get bored out of my mind. I know about the paparazzi, but to follow my passion I would deal with it. I'm afraid they won't support me. What should I do? (link)
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Maybe you don't want to think about having a backup skill because you have your passions, but even if you're going to make it, you're going to want to have skills that set you apart. Singing is an athletic event, you'll want to be fit, sports will help with that. Writing and art require some insight, something not everybody has already thought of and done, strong academics will make all the difference in the world to make your eventual influence more meaningful and make a greater impact; even as an actor, you don't want to stop learning about the world to make the most realistic portrayal possible and a background in sports could give you an edge in physical roles and it will help you learn grace in defeat so you get used to being rejected at 99/100 auditions you go to.
What you eventually do will be up to you, but just remember that Hollywood is overrun with pretty faces. I have friends who have been at it for 20 years, since they were kids, and are still only offered bit parts as "hot chick" or "murder victim." Watch TV programs and look at the type and number of roles available for your type, down to hair color, types are how most roles are cast. Most roles are walk-on sight gags and one-liners. That's not what most people mean by "making it." Have something to say, some depth to offer, cultivate your mind, create your image, and you can really make yourself stand out.
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20/f
I've hardly had any friends because I didn't want to be anybody's slave,so to speak. I've always been called ugly just because I'm not skinny and I don't wear make-up (I put eyeshadow and mascara on sometimes) and because I don't have money for branded clothes. I've always been called a nerd because I liked to study and have all A's and thanks to that now I'm studying medicine. I'm labeled as boring because I don't go partying every weekend,getting drunk and having sex with many guys. Nobody wants to get to know me,they all judge either on what they see or what they hear about me. No matter what I try no guy will notice me. It's like I'm invisible. And the most hated person in the world. How to be confident and have self worth when your life is like this? I don't wanna stop living,even though it had crossed my mind. I can't exactly talk to anyone about this because they think I'm being a drama queen. Nobody takes into account how I really feel. (link)
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Those people you think hate you probably really don't think about you because they already have their friends and are busy doing things you don't want to do anyway. You're looking in the wrong direction. There is someone near you who is even more lonely than you are and you could be a godsend to him or her. Somebody absolutely wants to get to know you. Think about others more than yourself--make an effort to get to know someone by him or herself, join a choir or reenactment or improv group, go to a meet up for a new hobby, get involved in community service--and you'll be greatly loved by people who share your values and aspirations.
PS--If it's still not working, you're probably being so guarded that you come across as mean. Open up and cultivate a genuine interest in what another person has to say instead of concentrating on your own self-consciousness.
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I m from srilanka and here homosexual activities are illiegal and none talk about it openly. im 22 years old and im a girl. i found out im sexually attracted to girls one year ago, but i guess ive always been that. but im so attracted to boys emotionally. i love the way they treat me and their love. wherever i go guys get attracted to me too. should mention though lesbian im girlish in every way to the extreme. i luv to date a guy... but i dont want to cheat. i luv it if i can tell the truth and start a relation ship with a guy. but i study in a college and im scared if i say ds to a guy he ll spread all over and ill be bulleyed and treated in a bad way. im tired of ignoring guys when i also love them...:( and im very clear ill not be dating a girl even if i was in amarica..im not emotionally attracted to them, i can only think of them as friends..i feel very uncared and unloved right now...and please someone suggest me a solution. (link)
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I'm not sure what you mean by emotionally attracted, but it's possible to meet a woman who could treat you the way men do. It's also possible to just realize that you're attracted to different individuals for different reasons and don't worry so much about what you get from each gender as a group. When you form a relationship, let's say your future partner is "Jamie," it can be a girl's or guy's name, what you will love about Jamie isn't just that Jamie has one set of genitals or another, it will be the complete person. Try to see each person you're attracted to as unique and appreciate your attraction without worrying what it means so much. Sexuality is often so fluid, don't paint yourself one way or another just yet when it sounds like you're still figuring yourself out. As far as your relationships go, though, do be careful not to put yourself in danger without careful consideration. There are still a lot of bigoted people in the world.
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Someone is blackmailing on kik. I sent him nude photo of mine, he want me to send again if I will not he said that he will post it online website wherein all country can see it. I dont know what to do. He said that he will spread it and all my friends can see it. Im afraid Im fron Hungary. Need help (link)
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I'm sorry you have to deal with such an ungrateful jerk. He could probably have gotten more pics with kindness than with threats. I'm sure you've learned the lesson that you don't ever again send photos that you don't want published, so lets move on to the bigger issue: threats and intimidation are never ok. You need to go to the police. He is not entitled to anything from you and his behavior so far proves he is not to be trusted with more photos. If you are a minor, he can be charged with possession of child pornography as well. (If he doesn't know how old you are and you could pass for a minor, tell him you're underage and scare him with pornography charges, because people like that deserve to be bullied back.) If your photos end up on the website, it will be unfortunate, but I think the stigma is moving more toward the rude posters of the photos than the initial senders. What's more, it happens so often it's not as shocking. If it does shock people enough to get a great deal of attention, you could end up the Kim Kardashian of Hungary. It's not an ideal situation, but I hope I've helped you see that you will get through it, and you don't deserve to be threatened because of it.
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My husband is a bit old fashion and doesnt feel we need anything in the bedroom thats new, and we barely ever have sex yet he insists hes happy. Well im pretty UNHAPPY, and want either more sex, or be allowed to use toys if i feel. He does not agree with ANY kind of toys.
I recently discovered the newer toy called the sybian, its uses nothing but vibration. I know that they retail for about 1400 bucks but i found a way to make my own for a fraction of the price! the only problem is i cant tell my husband....
my question is, is it better to own a toy like this and never tell him (risking him discovering it because they arent that easy to hide if your place isnt that large) ORRRR tell him, make the thing anyway, and risk him feeling sad, and or calling me a sex addict because i want it more then he does??
how do i have this talk with him and what can i do to turn him onto toys or at least be OK with them? (link)
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It's a tough problem because sexuality is so personal that anything but glowing praise feels like an attack on the person's core worth. I think keep to positive "I like" and "it turns me on when" statements when communicating about sex whenever possible. You're the more motivated party, so you'd do well to be available at whenever the opportunity arises. Go to the bedroom exactly when he does and then come back out to work on the computer when you're done, that may help a bit.
Sex is also a very good health barometer, and we all (him included) are aware his weight isn't the healthiest, and it sounds like it makes him feel really self-conscious. The hard thing is getting him to change his behavior. Coming from you, his wife, it'll sound like criticism even when it's just concern. Coming from a buddy might be less offensive, but it's not as though lack of awareness is the issue, informing him won't make him change his habits. He's not likely to change his diet and activity on his own, either. There are little things you can do, though. Try new, healthier recipes, don't buy junk food or soda from the grocery store, find small, active things you can do together: go on walks, take ballroom dancing together, bicycle. Once he starts doing physical activity, he won't have to overcome all the inertia he feels now. He had athletic habits once, if he remembers how great it feels to be active, those old positive habits may start to kick in. I also think it's great to just lie naked together spoonwise without needing orgasm--look up karezza lovemaking!
It may not be so bad to use the toy in front of him, either. There's a chance having him watch could be a turn on for him, I think most husbands like to see their wives having a good time. If he's truly very old fashioned maybe he'd be offended by the idea, but it sounds mostly like he's just not feeling sexy and the fact you "need more" than him is a blow to an already down self-image. I put that in quotes because a vibrator is simply capable of a level of stimulation a human cannot provide, but it also doesn't provide human warmth or closeness; they're not comparable and it's just not a threat. In fact, it makes a great compliment to couple playtime.
When you take marriage vows, you're pledging to be sexually intimate only with each other. That privilege comes with a corresponding duty to make sure you're each getting the attention you need. Your "love language" sounds very physical and the fact you're only wanting to play on your own is a good sign of how little extra you need--many people would be tempted to get flirty attention from others when they're not having as much sex as you prefer. I think it's clear you're not a sex addict, otherwise you'd be having sex with other people by now. When he labels you that, he's treating you like there's something wrong with you because your desires aren't equal to his, and it's not fair to negate your feelings like that. No two people will have the exact same desires at all times, so self-stimulation is a great compromise. A few people think of masturbation as cheating; I think it's only a problem when the self-pleaser is replacing it with opportunities to make love with his/her partner and neglecting the relationship in favor of solo fantasies. It doesn't sound like that's the case here. Be open with him about what you're going to do and let him know he's welcome to join in at any time.
I hope you have a blog post about how to make this wonder vibe, too. Sounds like a fun project!
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Hey! Okay, so I'm not trying to be a Debbie downer or anything, but I feel like I don't have a meaningful talent. I mean I don't have a good talent like music or sports. Like my only talents are talking/socializing a lot and picking out paint/fabric colors for my house. And instagram. Absolutely none of those count for anything for a person who wants to be a dentist (I also suck at Biology, which is bad). I'm mediocre at high school. I'm mediocre at singing. I'm mediocre at art. I suck at sports. So, what do I even do? I don't want to go through life being a loudmouth who's good at picking out colors. (link)
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What you're feeling is such a good sign! Not feeling good about what you can do is your soul urging you to work harder. There's nothing motivating about being self-satisfied. If everyone were happy with their abilities in HS, the world would be devoid of professionals! Anything worth doing takes years of effort, and it's part of what gives life meaning to test yourself and apply yourself toward great efforts. (See the writings of Cal Newport for his realization that to be of value to his community, he had to work hard at an under server skill).
My worry is that you're treating "knowledge of biological facts" as though it's an intrinsic skill that anyone could possibly be born with when you say you're "not good at biology." No one can possibly have innate aptitude in biology, and no baby's first words were "kings play chess on fine grained sand" (that's the mnemonic for kingdom, phylum, class, order, family, genus, species).
Everything worth doing is a skill learned through persistence. Look up the rule of the 10,000 hours. It doesn't hold true in every case, but it's a good measuring stick--if I'm not good at something, how many hours of hard practice have I put in? There's no advantage to being content with what you can do now, and I think it's a great display of maturity that you want to work to make more of yourself.
Persistence!
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21/f, 27/m
I posted a question up about a guy that I met online and was giving me mixed signals at first. We spoke about giving mixed signals and stuff afterward. I mentioned that I am not a "booty call" and that if he was looking for one, to look elsewhere. He told me that he hasn't done a "booty call" in years and that he does not know if we would work out or not, he just wanted to try it out and see.
Ever since that talk, things went back to normal. He was still a gentleman and we still spent time together. We went wine tasting but I apparently was a bit off because I had a lot on my mind. But technically, I felt like he was not sure if he was actually being truthful to me. Long story short, we had sex. I wanted to see if he was going to stop talking to me right afterward, he didn't. He told me that he still liked me and wanted me to stay the night. He still spoke to me everyday.
The last day I saw him was two days ago... He brought me back a rose from his trip. And hours later we went to his friend's house warming party. He kissed me, held my hand, etc in front of his friends. To be honest, I'm awkward in big groups of people. It takes me a while to warm up to them since the only person I knew was him. After the party, he told me it was okay that I was quiet and he understood.
He invited me to come in, when I did, we spoke, etc. I can tell that he wanted to have sex again but I told him it was a bad idea because 1) I needed to go home to take my birth control since I left it at home, 2) My sister came home this weekend and kept asking where I was along with her boyfriend, and 3) I could tell that he was tired and sleepy. I told him these reasons and his response was, "so what?" .... But I eventually did leave and he gave me a kiss before I walked out the door.
The next day, he did not text me at all. Which was strange because he always texts me. So, I texted him asking if he was okay and if I did anything wrong. He told me that he thought I said I was busy that day and I said, "not really." And then I asked what he was up to and he said, "working out. You?" I told him that I just got done having dinner with a friend and he was taking me somewhere. He said, "probably back to his house." And i said, "no. he's picking something up from his friend's house." and he said, "lol, ok". I asked if he was worried, he said "no" then "I'm going to sleep. Have a good one" which threw me off because he never says, "have a good one" he always says, "sweet dreams" with a kissy face.
I asked him if he was SURE that there was nothing wrong and he said he's sure and that he's great actually. It's become the second day and he still hasn't spoken to me. I noticed that he's become more active on the website that we met on so I was thinking maybe he met someone else? Did I do something wrong? Or was it true the whole time? I was just a booty call? (link)
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At this moment, he seems to be willing to be whatever you ask, so worry more about what YOU want than what you might be to him. Do you even like him? Stop asking guys if you did anything wrong just because he didn't text--a serious discussion isn't going to entice someone to text you more often. What's more, you acted exactly how you felt comfortable, so there's no way it could have been wrong, even if it didn't please him. Never apologize for setting boundaries.
Seriously, pick up a copy of "The Rules." They're extreme, yes, crazy, even, but you're in need of some boundaries to maintain enough mystery to keep a guy--one you actually like--intrigued.
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Hello, I'm hoping you can give me some advice in regard to my almost 9 year old daughter and her "best friends" tumultuous relationship that has me concerned. . Just recently my daughter came to me crying and very upset because her best friend was mean to her via instant messaging (I went and read the messages to make sure my daughter wasn't lying about what happened and verified that what she said was the truth). The best friend was absent from school so my daughter messaged and her said "Hi, why weren't you in school today" and her best friend replied with "none of your business". My daughter quickly left a reply saying "I hope you aren't mad at me. I'm sorry and please don't be mad at me". I asked my daughter about this situation and she told me she just doesn't want her friend to be mad at her ever so she always apologizes to make things better, So after my daughter apologized, the best friend then called her and neither one of them brought up the fact the best friend was rude for no reason and they talked as normal until the best friend soddenly said to her "I don't want to talk to you anymore" and hung up on her. This situation is one of MANY of very similar situations that I overhear when their together, read over messaging or see happen via email. I try to always teach my daughter to stand up for herself and to make her see that she is allowing her friend to treat her badly and she shouldn't let anyone walk over her. I also tell her that this girl isn't being a real friend if she's doing this to her all the time but saying these things just makes my daughter more upset because then she thinks I think she's being a wimp. I told my daughter she should have asked her friend why she replied in the rude response of "None of your business" and hung up on her or at the very least she could have told the friend her feelings were hurt. My daughter responded "it will make her more mad and meaner to me". Seeing my daughter be walked all over and treated badly is BREAKING my heart and making me STRONGLY dislike this girl she is friends with. Being friends with this girl is making my daughter's feelings very hurt and it's breaking down her self esteem too because since she has been friends with this girl, her confidence has dropped and she isn't near as outgoing as she once was because she's afraid of the best friend always being mad at her. Do I say something to this girls mom, do I stay out of this and let my daughter deal with it or do I keep trying to teach my daughter to handle it in the way I think best so she isn't being treated badly? Please help - I really don't know what is best.
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"None of your business" is likely not an attempt to be rude, but to hide something embarrassing--she could be home because of lice or diarrhea! Even, "I don't want to talk to you anymore" could be her inelegant way of just asserting what she wants. Do not give your daughter the message that she's the victim based on these interactions. Your daughter seems very gentle and unusually perceptive of others' feelings and you should be proud of what a kind person you're raising. The most important lesson that needs to come through is that she can't let other people make her feel bad about herself. What other people say and do says everything about how they feel about themselves and nothing about your value. Encourage her to make new friends and set up other play dates, too, but I wouldn't even call what the friend does "mean" because that portrays it as powerful and directed against your daughter, I'd call it graceless or tacky, something that makes it clear that what's going on is entirely the other girl's issue and not related in any way to how your daughter is/should be esteemed.
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Please help! I have noticed that on the bottom og my feet is a small ring. Imaginge a tiny engagment ring. Now imagine it under my skin. That is what is on the sole of my foot! It's while, and I have no idea what it is! What is it? (link)
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Also try looking up photos of plantars warts as another possibility.
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This guy is obsessed with me. It's been going on for years. I had a feeling at first that feeling was confirmed when he wrote a poem. This poem was about me and it was sexually explicit. So I got scared and stopped going to the same places as him etc. So fast forward two years and I stopped being scared. So, I wanted to see what kind of feelings does he have for me. He likes to keep our conversations short which frustrates me. Its really hard to tell what kind of person he is or how crazy he is from talking to him. My conclusion was he is really shy and has a big crush on me. I wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt. When I tried to make conversation with him I asked if he had a Tumblr. He said “No”. I later found out that he indeed does have a Tumblr. Some other guy gave me the address. When I first visited his blog I became intrigued. Its erotic and I loved it Then I began to read some stories that he wrote. And what do you know? They are about me. It’s like I’m his muse. At this point he will not receive anymore contact from me. Because he is obviously sick and needs help and I don’t want to fuel his obsession. Also I think he is cyberstalking me. There’s more however I will not share at this time for personal reasons. What do you think? Thanks. :)
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He's sexually attracted to you, definitely, but he doesn't sound like the kind of guy you want to be involved with. What he's in love with is his fantasy version of you rather than your true self with all your likes and dislikes and interests and personality. By keeping conversations short, it's prevented reality from spoiling his delusions and prevented you from finding out too much about him. Be careful. Not only does it sound like he doesn't have much to offer by way of a healthy relationship, but honestly he also sounds dangerous, try to keep your distance.
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I'm 17/f and about to graduate from high school. Although my culture does not allow dating, my bf and I have been dating secretly for 2 years. My family wants me to finish college before getting into relationships. About 5 months ago, my older brother and sister found out that I was dating and they were upset about it and told me to break up with him. If my parents found out, they would be extremely upset. Anyways, I didn't break up with him but I told them we did. I love my family and my boyfriend. My boyfriend is a huge part of me now and I need him in my life but my family would probably never accept him before I'm done with college. What should I do?
Please note that I'm from a different country and my culture is very different from America. In my culture your family choose when you can start dating. If I choose to stay with my boyfriend and go against my family's wishes, I'll have to face consequences. (link)
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If you're first-generation like I am, you've gotten conflicting advice your whole life--be true to yourself and honor your family. Now that my friends and I have nearly all gotten married, I can see how well the "self-centered" (I mean that literally=revolving around the self) approach works for American marriage. The divorce rate is sad. If both partners only think about themselves, eventually the other's wishes will become as inconvenient as their birth families were, so they'll separate and go their own way.
Maybe you and your parents are more in line than you imagine. I imagine the ultimate goal is a successful happy marriage with as little hurt along the way as possible. People who marry later in the second half of their twenties with a college degree have on average much greater chances of financial and marital success. (See book "For Better" and article: http://m.theatlantic.com/sexes/archive/2013/03/getting-married-later-is-great-for-college-educated-women/274040/). Now, if you're just having a good time with your boyfriend and are avoiding or at least being careful with sex, and marriage is so far off that you don't really care where it goes with your boyfriend, maybe your parents values don't apply to your situation. You have to feel pretty casual to not get hurt. But if you know you're looking for marriage and that this boyfriend is someone you feel you'd eventually consider, starting off with secrets might hinder the closeness you want between your families.
I am sure your boyfriend has been a great support to you through high school, and he could possibly be the man for you for life, but to even be a contender for real commitment, he has to show himself a man to be worthy of it. One way to show his seriousness is to start over with your parents approval. Having him step up and be open is a clear sign that his intentions (as much as he can set them at 17) are serious and honorable.
If there's nothing wrong with him that they'd disapprove of other than your age, if he's ambitious, respectful, kind and stable, then they very well may also be happy you've met someone you care about, they may just adore him and will want to help you keep yourselves on track until you're ready to decide whether you'll get married or not.
The big question I have is, are you being careful with your heart and your future? Do you abstain or at least practice safe sex? Do you have a plan in case of pregnancy? For matters of the heart, if it didn't work out with him, what would you regret?
Your parents love you and want you to be happy with someone of good character and real compatibility (for me, it was someone outside my culture, but our families met and shared the values we all felt would make us work together well in the long run). When people choose for themselves, sometimes love blinds them to what my mom calls "the fatal flaws." Parents have lived longer and met many kinds of people along the way. They will see him without the love haze you see him through. If you really believe in him, maybe you can put him to the test.
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Me an my friend are very close n we are very dirty minded, we are only 13 nearly 14 and borh girls n we hump each other (dont hate) n sometimes we play with ourselfs together n i really want her to play with me or lick me even (i dont fancy her..) I just want someone i no to lick/finger me?? Help?? (link)
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Sexuality is fluid; it's totally normal to want to come, and, really, safer than experimenting with boys at your age. In the Victorian era friendships like these were considered good, safe "practice" for the expected heterosexual relations later. Delay doing these things with boys, and when you do, make 100% sure you're using protection.
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My ex and I have dated several times over the past 7 years, he just found out 2 years ago that he had a son, Him and I got back together right before Christmas last year and I lived with him and his 8 year old son. I witnessed some horrible behavior as a father to his son, he became very lazy, making his son do everything from changing the television channel to getting ice for his whiskey. We split up about 2 months ago, and it was a very bad break up, so bad that I actually cannot stand to hear his name. I have recently found out that I am 2 months pregnant, and have already made an appointment to terminate. But, I'm having second thoughts, should I do what I think is right and tell the father, even though I know it will lead to more stress and heartache, or do I go through with it and get on with my life? I have wanted a child for years, however, I am not ready for it now, I am about to graduate college and I dont even have a job or any money saved up. The father is a cook for a small store, so I know we would struggle. I dont want my child to grow up with anything less than a perfect life. What do I do?
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Short answer: no. Even husbands don't have a legal right to know about their wives' abortions. Now a question for you--what is your real reason for wanting to tell him? What good could it possibly accomplish?
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I have been feeling super jealous lately. I don't know why, I'm not usually like this. It all started when my boyfriend said he was going to get drinks with co-workers after work last friday. Most of them women. And I just didn't like that he was going without me. (I work late and couldn't go) What's more is that he didn't even tell me he was going until I asked him to do something after work. Also he carpools with this girl, who almost never pays him gas money, and I find out that she went to the bar after work two Fridays ago, and he bought her nearly $30 in drinks.
Anyways, I told him that I really dont like what's happening and I would prefer he doesn't go for drinks after work. Carpooling is one thing but alcohol doesn't need to be involved. And he said in a nutshell, too bad you need to trust me. Like, I do trust him but what he's doing makes me so uncomfortable, and he just thinks I'm overreacting.
Btw, I'm 21 my bf is 24. Together 5 years.
I need some advice here. Should I be feeling like this? Am I overreacting? Or am I right to feel this way? I just don't know. (link)
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"Too bad you don't trust me" invalidates your feelings and sounds like he'll do whatever he wants regardless of how it makes you feel. Go to a bar with dudes, let them buy you enough drinks to get sloppy and see if it bothers him. If it doesn't make him correct how he acts, he's not at all jealous--either because he's that free spirited and trusting or because he's more interested in this other chick.
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15/f
Last night I had to go pee but I was so lazy to go I just stayed there and kept sleeping. When I woke up I went and I felt super uneasy down there. I feel like I have to pee every second but only a little comes out. After I pee I feel discomfort as well. What could this be ? (link)
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Sounds like a UTI to me (urinary tract infection). More may come out if you change position--lean forward, pee standing in the shower, or squat.
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Hello!! I am from India... As I live here the people mentality is very bad I used to stay in bangalore so it was a wonderful time.. Bt aftr tat I had lors of problem I faced in my age of 15. My parents were took by police and that was a big issue then later in this Mangalore all used to treat me very badly so I could not face them but still I tried nd came up then later I failed in my +2 for that my mom is torturing me and she is pinning me with those.. Like am fail your fit for nothng and all.. I lost their love I need them.. I am fully dipressed I tried to sucide but I could not I want to achive some thing but my mom is only underestimating me. I feel I am help lessi feel bad about me only. My mom is not speaking to me proply she will say these things and prick me... Please if you can give a good suggestions to die (idea) because this world just sucks people need only money more than love they value money but not life. I value love and life but its of no use. Mother is very important to support her child in all the situation but my mom is not doing that what should I do she say I am just useful to spend money I wont achive anything she only dont trust her own kid then how will I achive something without her support. (link)
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Your existence is a gift. Go outside, stretch, move, get exercise. Your other problems are bigger, and you'll need strength to face them, but you will eventually prevail. Take care of your own hurt first; take a moment to breathe, to heal and to appreciate the enjoyment your soul is able to experience in the brief time you are embodied as you here & now.
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i have been confused about what i should be, i am a female that is more comfortable dressing in male clothes, i act more masculine then i do feminine however i do have certain female traits that keeping coming out (maternal - from when i was a step mum). i have been reading up and considering going through with a sex change operation. the only thing that is holding me back is i want kids and want to be able to conceive naturally. (link)
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Gender is cultural, dress and act however you feel on any given day. Your body, however, is unique and wonderful and having the ability to give birth and nurture a child is a door you don't want to close just yet.
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My boyfriend's best friend of several years is a female. She lives several states away and he rarely sees her anymore, but constantly "likes" her photos on Facebook and comments on her posts, etc. I know they talk and text a lot, too. I asked him once if they had ever dated, and he replied that they were like brother and sister.
I found some old photos of them on Facebook where they appear to be somewhat physically intimate. In fact, until I knew who she was, I assumed she was an ex girlfriend. He's giving her hugs, picking her up, giving her piggyback rides, etc.
I know that men and women can be platonic friends, but I don't go beyond hugging my close male friends (not as a rule, it just doesn't happen). She's an attractive girl, and I'm sure he sees that. I simply don't believe that he has no desire to be physically intimate with her given the photographs that I've seen. I've never met her but she's expressed desire to meet me soon. I have absolutely nothing against her, but I just want to know if my beliefs about their relationship are justified; and if so, what should I do about it?
Thank you :) (link)
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I understand how you feel. I'm like you that I feel there are natural boundaries in non-romantic relationships. I don't cuddle male buddies or do anything that might give them the wrong impression, and my husband is very much the same way, if not more so. I also made a point of knowing all his female friends just to make sure we were all on the same page.
Here is the reality: jealousy isn't a bad word. If your guy could do anything with anyone and you weren't ever jealous, you wouldn't be in a relationship. There are some things that have to be special with just the two of you. You have to decide what level of jealousy you think is appropriate. If you don't match up in what behaviors you think should be exclusive for each of you, you should try to negotiate a balancing point.
One point in your guy's favor is that she's far away. Also, they've known each other a long time and nothing's happened yet. That's all evidence he can be trusted. Now that he's with you, though, there's no reason to give piggy back rides again. If she's over 10, she is too old for a "lil sis" piggy back ride IMO
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I'm 14 and there's this boy I've had feelings for since about January, he's felt the same about me ever since then too and we've been out twice but it didn't really work. He is 13.
I'm not sure if he still likes me but I know for sure that I'm still crazy in love with him, I see him everyday at school and when I'm not looking my friends say they catch him staring at me and I have seen him doing it before when he thought I wasn't looking! When I try to make eye contact with him he quickly turns away or turns around and walks backwards looking at his friends.
Why is this?
But, I still really really like him! We used to talk so much and about everything! He'd pop up to me every night even just if it's quick and there's nothing to talk about, now he doesn't say anything to me 😤
I honestly can't stop thinking about him, I walk wherever he goes at lunch just so I can see him and I always feel like I feel sick or I have butterflies all the time because I love him so much! It actually hurts sometimes! I find myself reading our old messages and stalking his Facebook profile all the time, I can't help it! 😍
But why do I feel like this?
Can I stop it?
Someone please help me 😞
Thank you! X
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At 14, love almost unbearable, especially because the object of your love is almost always unready to reciprocate in a meaningful way. Your feelings are normal, and the energy you have is so powerful, please use it to fuel something meaningful that you could create. Put your name on a project that will make you and your community better. You're a bright, beautiful flame and even if you have to frame your power in terms like, "how can I work to be the kind of person my crush would be proud to be married to someday?" put the power into tangible efforts, get the best grades you can, find new interests, be the most fascinating girl he's ever met. Do you think you can do that?
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