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Hey, 18/f
Okay so basically I'm just wondering is it necessary to tell your boyfriend EVERYTHING?
We have been together for two and a half years and he knows pretty much everything about me as do I him.
But there is one particular incident in my past that I don't feel comfortable discussing with anyone. I don't want him to think differently of me telling him about it just isn't an option.
He asked me before had I any secrets and I just said no then he said If I had then all of this is for nothing.
It's not like I'm lying to him or anything there are just certain things I like to keep private. Surely that's allowed?
I asked my mum and even she says she has stuff my dad doesn't know about.
Does this make me a bad person?It's literally just this one thing.
Any advice appreciated thank you in advance. (link)
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You don't need to tell each other every little detail of your life. Unless it is something that is harmful or something bad you might want to consider telling him about it. My boyfriend knows things about me that I've never told anyone before and if anything it makes us closer. I know things about him as well. I guess what I'm trying to say is in a relationship you should be able to talk to your partner about what you want to. It's up to you about what you want to tell him and what you want to keep a secret.
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I have the most amazing guy all to myself as my boyfriend. He is crazy funny, very caring, comforting, and understanding, and I can really be myself around him. I don't ever get scared or nervous around him. It's like I have known him for years. He is thoughtful. He surprises me with cute little trinkets and places I've always talked about wanting to go to. He never lets me down and I have a prince charming on my hands. He always lets me know he loves me and does all these sweet things for me. I hate being away from him, and we've been dating for 8 months. We talk a lot of our future together.
I don't know what it is lately, but I have been getting very annoyed with him. The things I'd normally find cute I find very very very irritating. I feel bad because I know he is just trying to make me laugh and make me feel happy. He always says that's his goal in life, to make me happy endlessly. I feel stupid. I mean, come on. I have everything I have always wanted. Yet I have been off and on with my feelings. Once I felt the same way I do now, not fond of him and feeling like I am losing feelings for him, and he cried when I told him. That hurt so bad to see him like that. We worked things out over a matter of days.
I just don't know why I feel this way. He just irritates me lately and I get mad easily and then we fight. We fight A LOT. About the dumbest stuff too, but he never yells or hits me. He just stays calm and holds me while we talk, even if I yell and cry. I feel horrible. I am so stupid to believe and let myself lose feelings for this amazing person. He doesn't deserve any of it. (link)
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You know as the relationship goes on its not all sunshine and rainbows. A lot of challenges come up and its how you both face them together. I know its hard relationships aren't meant to be easy. I've gone through some hard stuff with my boyfriend of 4 years and it hasn't been easy. I have been at that point where I wonder if we are in love or if its not. I've been without him, and my world without him isn't happy. I hated not being with him I hated not speaking to him. I love him more than I can say. Think to yourself of what your life would be like without him. Can you even see this guy in your future? Can you picture getting married and having kids with this man? Think before you make any irrational decisions. In the end you want to be happy and if this relationship isn't making you happy you have to do something about it.
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I'm always feeling happy and then sad eventually,I'm going crazy,this is not ok,I know,so what can I do?I don't think I'm that sick,though,since I haven't felt like commiting suicide or anything nor have I had feelings of madness,so how could I balance all this?please don't tell me to go to the dr. I will,if I see this doesn't change,and gets even worse,thanks:) (link)
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None of us here are doctors so we can't diagnose you. We can recommend things like going to a doctor. It could be anything, it could be depression or maybe you could be bi polar. Now googling these things isn't going to help you. Its better that you talk to your doctor or maybe find a therapist. Do you go to school? Maybe talk to your guidance counselor and he or she may be able to give you some advice or point you in the right direction. Good luck and I hope you feel better soon!
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im going threw all that now i want to die i dont have the one i truly love everyone hates me im wrthless (link)
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I know you feel hopeless and you feel unwanted because you can't be with the person that you want to be with. Maybe that person isn't the right one for you. And that doesn't mean your life has to end. You are allowed to be sad but no one and I mean no one is worth punishing yourself over or even killing yourself. Sometimes we get into a state of mind where we feel there is no answer and wonder how the hell you are going to go through all this hell and come out fine? Be positive. Try and think about what you can do to make the best of this situation and learn from this. Maybe it just wasn't meant to be.
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Is it too early to know if you're in love? (link)
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People all have different beliefs when it comes to love. I think that love just happens when you least expect it. I fell in love unexpectedly but when you feel something for someone you can't help it. I say if you care about someone tell them. Life is too short!
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21/F
boyfriend is also 21
my boyfriend and i have been dating for 4 months. I know it doesn't seem long, but we were talking for 3 months before that. but officially been dating for 4 months. anyways, things were going really good we never really fought and if we did we would figure things out pretty quickly. we go to the same college and so we see each other a lot but we give each other space too so we don't get annoyed of each other. 2 weeks ago things started to get a little different and he told me that he just doesnt know anymore. he's super confused with himself and doesn't feel completely happy. i asked if i did anything to make him feel this way and he said no, that it's all him. he doesn't know whats wrong with him and he doesn't know what to do. i asked him if he wanted to break up or be single and he got all teary eyed and said that hurt really bad to hear that. he wants to work things out and wants to still be with me but he's really confused and doesn't know what to do or how to help himself. and neither do i. i have no idea how to help him. he says it's killing him inside because he knows he's hurting me. he said the only thing that bothers him with me is that my mood changes and he doesn't know if he's the one that's making my mood change or what. i've told him that it's never him. it's just school and other things. and i've been trying to change so that my mood doesn't go up and down all the time. he knows i'm trying. he would never cheat on me and i know this for a fact and i would never cheat on him. we both have been cheated on and so we both know how it feels.
the main thing is he just is so confused and doesn't know what he wants. and he just wants to be happy again. i have no idea how to help and thats what i really want to do. i'm worried that he's going to break up with me but i already asked if he wanted to and like i said, he said that he didn't want to and if he wanted to he could of done it already.
i guess what i'm asking is if anyone knows any suggestions of what i could tell him, how i could help, what i can do, or something.. (link)
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Our first instinct as women or girls is to fix the problem or we want to find a solution. Unfortunately there is nothing you can do to help him. The best thing for you to do is to give him space and I know that's difficult and its not what you want to hear but its what needs to be done. He needs time to think about what is exactly making him unhappy and what he can do to fix it. Don't smother him it may only make things worse. Although it maybe be hard just back off a little bit and if he wants to talk he'll come to you when he wants to. Good luck and I hope this works out.
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Sometimes I go out with my friends and seem to catch him in there. today we were just having a conversation and he didn't even ask me oh you want to stay with me home and watch a movie. he just left to the party with his friends. I just feel a little embarrass because since a lot of people know we are going out, they are probably going to wonder "oh where is hes girl, I wonder why hes never with her" do you get what am saying. sometimes i feel as if i didn't have a boyfriend. I just don't know what to do. and i don't even know what he does at those party's. what do you suggest i should do ? :'( (link)
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Well if it bothers you have you tried telling him how you feel? Communication is the number thing you need in a relationship and with out that its not going to work. Tell him how its making you feel. A lot of guys like their space and like to be able to hang out with their friends. My boyfriend and I have been together for 4 and half years and I love him dearly. I push him to hang out with his friends because I want him to socialize. It's not healthy if he's just with me all the time you know? I don't know how long you've been with him but if its over a year than the 'honeymoon phase' is over. Maybe what you should do is start hanging out with your friends. Make yourself busy and maybe he'll start realizing he should hang out with you a little more. The first thing you should do though is to talk to him! Good luck!
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How can i stop being so lonely. I have no guy options what so ever. I want a boyfriend i want to be happy. But I am so lonely. I see couples everysingle day as i work in the mall and it hurts to see everyone happy but me..
Help? (link)
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I love how people assume that getting a boyfriend will make you happy. That's not the case at all actually. Happiness comes from within. How do you expect someone else to make you happy if you can't even make yourself happy? Think about positives, stop focusing on the negatives. I'm sure there is a lot going on in your life to be happy about. The grass is always greener on the other side, my dear. And just because those couples look happy doesn't mean they are. Go do something that makes you happy and take care of yourself first.
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(male,gay)Well,I have a boyfriend,we've been dating for almost two years and a half,but he hasn't presented me to his family as his partner,they do know me,though,but just as any other f***g friend of his,is he ashamed of me?We have been through this like a thousand times but I guess I'm just pretty tired of speaking and speaking all the time without coming to any solution,What can I do?This has already jeopardised our relationship 'cause I'm seriously thinking about dumping him,'cause I'm not a criminal,thanks in advance for your help! (link)
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It sounds like he isn't ass open to being gay in front of his family as you may be. Maybe he is scared about what his family may think about him being gay. Now to you it might be easy to just say 'tell them already' but maybe for him its not that easy. Now that you have that information you have a decision to make. In the end its up to you and how you feel.
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ive been going through some rough stuff with my ex/boyfriend. kind of complicated, its been very on and off and its been taking a toll on me. whenever we get into a fight or experience troubles, the thoughts hang over my head like no other. i go out and do things but i cant get the pit out of my stomach thinking "were gonna break up forever" or "this is it for good". how can i prevent thoughts from hanging over my head like that (link)
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Well first things first...if you are on and off than that says there is a problem. Maybe what you need to do is sit down and talk about what you really want. Maybe you have an insecurity that is keeping you from feeling confident in this relationship. I would sit down and talk about what exactly is going on. I was the same way with my boyfriend and finally I realized he loves me and I love him and he's not going anywhere. Sometimes we need to think positively instead of looking at the negative all the time.
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Boyfriend and I have been together for two years. Lately things are not what they used to be. He doesn't make the effort to do anything for me anymore. He will sometimes drive to my house which is thirteenth minutes away but that's once in a while. We text each other and he will ignore me somewhere in the conversation. I'm so sick of it, but it's only hard because I love him.I think most of us girls like being taken out once in a while, and he doesn't do that anymore. I thInk I should probably break up with him because a part of me feels like he wants to let go of him because he once talked about being trapped. I have weird feelings that he has found someone else. It could just be paranoia but idk. He goes out of his way to make plans with his friends and I come last. It hurts a lot. I honestly don't mind him hanging out with his friends but I think I deserve some time too. I don't know what to do at this point. I was going to wait it out and see how much longer he ignores me and then if he keeps at it talk to him and set him free. (link)
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One thing you need to understand that a relationship as it develops it isn't always going to be the way it was when you first started dating. Things change and so do priorities. You realize as your relaitonship goes on there are decisions that you need to make as well as thinking about your future. In the end its what makes you happy. You don't sound happy with him. Have you two really talked about what's going on and how you feel about how he's acting? Maybe this is a sign that you need to move on or maybe not. I've been with my boyfriend for awhile and I can tell you it isn't romantic all the time. I love him to death though. Sometimes you are going to hit bumps in the road in your relationship. Its how you handle them and how you support each other through them.
It sounds like you maybe have made up your mind and maybe you need to do whats best for you. Good luck!
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well basically, i really want a baby because ive been thinking alot about it and i just think its time for me to have a baby. Ive said to my partner but he said he doesnt think we are ready until he gets a full time job.. and a car even though he has a licence. I know i dont have a full time job at the minute as im in full time education but i really do want a baby, what should i do? (link)
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A baby is a lot of responsibility as I'm sure you already have heard. I would figure things out before going out and having a baby. You want to be stable and without a job how are you going to pay for all the expenses. Babies aren't cheap you know? Also your partner doesn't want one right now. Babies are nice to think about but you need to be ready for one. I understand where you are coming from, I can't wait to have kids but right now I'm not in the right place to have kids at the moment. Right now I have a kitten and I love taking care of him. He's my 'baby'. Have fun for right now because that will all change when you have children I'm sure!
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What do you call a guy who likes you and you like him but you dont want to date but still kiss and stuff? (link)
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Friends with benefits
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Sooo me and my boyfriend were hanging out today and this one boy named Thomas came over there. He HATES him. Thomas tried to do a whole lot of stuff to me in the past so Justin(boyfriend) kind of wants to kill him.. He is really upset and angry and I don't know how to help him cool down and get over it.. I need advice!! (link)
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I have been in this position and believe me its best that your loyalty stays with your boyfriend. No matter what you do or say to your boyfriend he isn't going to change his mind about how he feels about Thomas. It's best that you just leave things be and maybe hang out with them seperately or if Thomas is trying to do things then I would step away from him and be with your boyfriend. I had this guy who I was friends with and my boyfriend wasn't crazy about him. I went to dinner with this kid and we talked just as friends. Well this guy seemed to want to be more than friends. Things happened and my boyfriend was quite upset and didn't really want me to hang out with this guy. I'm respecting my boyfriend's wishes and I'm not hanging out with this kid because one I don't feel comfortable and two I care too much about my boyfriend to hurt him or to bring stress into my relationship. I think in this case unfortunately you might need to choose and I think the choice is obvious.
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I am in a situation where I can no more decide anything. Life has turned out to be a nightmare and I just want to wake up from that dream by killing myself. Please help me. I want to die. Don't I have the right to be happy? (link)
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Everyone has the right to be happy!
There are things in life that are throw at us but we as humans have to face it. 'What Doesn't Kill You Makes You Stronger'. Have you ever heard of that saying? It's so true. I've been through some tough things in my life but I've become stronger because of it. I don't know what you're going through and I'm not saying its easy but killing yourself isn't going to fix it. It doesn't solve the problem facing it will. Do you have anyone to talk to? Do you go to school? Do you know someone you can trust? Talk to someone and I'm sure you'll feel a lot better. I know this maybe be hard as well but try and think positive. If you ever need to talk to someone please feel free to email at ohthatgirl1987@yahoo.com
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21/F
So I started dating this guy that I've known for 7 years, we dated for about a month and everything was perfect we even told each other we loved one another because we obviously known each other long enough to really mean it. Well I knew he was having to go to Germany for the military and I was fine with that but the day he left I got really emotional because I didn't want him to leave, he's the first guy I dated that's actually made me forget about my ex who I had dated previously for 4 years... Before he left he asked me to wait for him it was only going to be a few months and when he got back we would get a place together and settle down i couldnt be more happy. Well two days after he left I checked on facebook just to see his pictures of me and him and it says add as friend... HE DELETED ME FROM FACEBOOK. I know that sounds incredibly immature but wtheck?? He even blocked me from sending him messages and he's been able to post stuff on tweeter about being in Germany and what not.... I just don't understand?? I think I deserve at least an explanation?? What did I do wrong? Is it him or maybe it's just me? I'm not some phsycho annoying girlfriend so I'm not going to be asking everyone of his friends I just want to know if I should just move on or what? (link)
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That sounds really immature and I think you should get en explanation for sure. Have you trying emailing me or something? That's really weird. And if I were you I would just move on if I don't get an answer back because that's not right for someone to do that to you I don't care if its facebook or not.
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Ok so I have a Bf and we are in a great relationship atm. But currently another guy has been talking to me on MSN. And Im on vacation and the other guy keeps saying he loves me and is asking me to dump my Bf for him. I dont know what to do because the other day, the other guy told me that he's going to kiss me and asked me if I'd kiss him back. I made the mistake of saying sure and I dont wanna cheat on my Bf since he's my first Bf. Plz help i dont know what to do!!! I dont wanna break up with my Bf but I kinda do wanna kiss the other guy (He's the player type) But my Bf isnt a kissing kind of guy, he's more of the hugging type. HELP ME!!! I need advice pronto! I like both but dont wanna break up with my Bf but wanna kiss the other guy :( HELP!!
(link)
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You can't have your cake and eat it too. Life doesn't work that way. Whom do you like better your boyfriend or this other guy? I was in the same predicament and it was hard as hell let me tell you. I couldn't decide if I wanted to be with my boyfriend (at the time) or this other guy who was always on my mind. Finally I realized that things happen for a reason and then I made my decision. Who do you like best? Who cna you be yourself around? Who makes you happy? Think about it and make your decision. Do you want to be with this other guy or do you want to stay with your boyfriend? Good luck!
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41 yr old fem.
What do you do when you have an online crush that you are falling in love with? They are in another country. I think about them every day. I never met them in person & know that It could be the "idea" that attracts me. What do you think? (link)
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The idea and feeling is nice but you have to be realistic!
I believe in fighting for what you believe in. I'm a very firm believer in love no matter how many times I've gotten hurt I continue to get back up and try again. Have you talked to him? Have you expressed any feelings towards him. You most guys on the internet aren't what they are like in real life. I had this huge crush on a guy online and turned out to be the total opposite of who I thought he was. I thought he was this chill guy but in the end he ended up being a total drama king. Maybe what you see in him you want in someone else thats nearby or close by. Or maybe you really do like him and you want to get to know him better. Go with what your heart tells you but be realistic and think about what you want! Good luck!
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18/f. My boyfriend recently ended our relationship. He was drunk and admitted to me he cheated on me during a different drunk night. He said a lot of really hurtful things to me that night, so I wrote him a letter a few days later saying everything that was on my mind. It was in no way malicious; I basically told him what he did was terrible, but I hope he had a great life.
He never said anything about the letter, so a few days ago I asked him if we could have a talk sometime when he's free. I've sorta changed my mind since then, but in a stunning act of maturity, he texted me today to see if I still wanted to talk. My mom has advised me against doing so, as I've taken the break up extremely hard, and she feels like I shouldn't waste anymore time. What do you think? Should I ask him why he never answered my letter (written about 3 weeks ago) or just forget about the whole thing? (link)
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I'm going to have to agree with your mother on this one. Why do you want to talk to him? What do you want to get out of this? If I were you I wouldn't even bother him because he cheated. Cheating to me is like the worst thing you could do to someone else. If you care enough about that person than you care enough either to say I'm sorry this isn't working out for me and I want to see other people or the person stays faithful. This guy sounds immature and confused about what he wants. I would stay away from him and move o to someone who is going to treat you right. Listen to your mother, mothers know best! :)
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me and my (ex) bf just broke up. we both didnt necessarily want to. feelings are still there but hes in college and rushing for a frat. i know after hes done there will be a lot of temptation to get back together. that will be in about 2 months. do you think i should? also, do you think i should get with other guys, or will it mess things up for the future. were still in love (link)
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Move on!
I know it seems harsh but go out there and date don't wait for him. That is not a good reason to not be with someone is because your in college and in a frat. It's an excuse. If you love someone you'll be with them no matter what and nothing will stop you. You fight for love you don't split and hope it comes back. Go out and date and don't wait for him to stop up at your door. I sorry if this seems harsh but I've been in a similar situation and the excuse was just lame. Good luck!
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