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what should i do if i want a baby and my partner says he isnt ready?
well basically, i really want a baby because ive been thinking alot about it and i just think its time for me to have a baby. Ive said to my partner but he said he doesnt think we are ready until he gets a full time job.. and a car even though he has a licence. I know i dont have a full time job at the minute as im in full time education but i really do want a baby, what should i do?
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A baby is a lot of responsibility as I'm sure you already have heard. I would figure things out before going out and having a baby. You want to be stable and without a job how are you going to pay for all the expenses. Babies aren't cheap you know? Also your partner doesn't want one right now. Babies are nice to think about but you need to be ready for one. I understand where you are coming from, I can't wait to have kids but right now I'm not in the right place to have kids at the moment. Right now I have a kitten and I love taking care of him. He's my 'baby'. Have fun for right now because that will all change when you have children I'm sure!
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You get a puppy. Or a kitten. Or a fish that you can make kissy noises at. You do anything except bring another human into a situation that won't be able to support it. Get a creature that will thrive on the baby affection you lavish on it, and pour all of your baby urges into it.
Talk through your baby plan with yourself. Are you going to drop out of school,because you can't go to school full-time with a baby. Daycare for newborns is insanely expensive. The chances of going back to school after having kids is insanely low. So you'd be pretty much stuck in stay-at-home mom mode for the rest of your life.
How are you going to feed the baby? Buy a crib and stroller? DIAPERS? How are you going to put a roof over his little head if nobody is bringing in any income? Heck, how are you going to get to the hospital to deliver if you don't have a car? Planning on taking the bus? And I don't know what country you live in, but if you live in the States, how will you afford the hospital bills?
Look, I get the baby instinct. I get baby fever every once in a while. I live in a house that my husband and I own, he's employed full-time and we STILL aren't having children yet because we know it isn't the right time, since I have to get out of school first. So we call our dog our fur-child and baby him to death. Part of being ready to be a parent is knowing when it's best not to be one.
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I have to agree with your partner on waiting. It doesn't matter if you want a baby, you need your partner to want it too. AND you need to have it all set up before then. Him wanting a full time job and a car before having a baby means you got a smart guy on board. Because to have a baby... (which is expensive as hell now adays) you're going to need money and not just welfare and food stamps honey. And also your going to need transportation. So... listen to your partner and wait.
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Sweetheart, you can't even spell well enough in typing your question, so in love and respect, finish getting your education. Be fully employed, otherwise, you will be another one living off the government programs, and too dirt poor to enjoy providing the physical things beyond love that your child needs. Unless you are 40 and near menopause, I'd wait till you have your life in a little bit better order. Your desire probably means you will be an awesome mother, but get your current goals met first. Your guy probably sees this and is trying to tell you lovingly, OR he just doesn't want a kid with you :)
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