I have a degree in Biomedical Engineering and Psychology from Northwestern University. I finished medical school and completed my M.D. at the University of Cincinnati College of Medicine. I am currently in my residency for surgery- hopefully to be specializing in neurosurgery.
I want to answer questions on medical type questions. I'm a big fan of Dr. Drew Pinsky on Love Line and would like to help younger people from the mistakes I see a lot of young people do when they come into my ER.
Gender: Male
Location: I'm from all over.
Occupation: Physician- Surgeon
Age: 29
AIM: ArunKSherma
Member Since: January 23, 2005
Answers: 188
Last Update: January 2, 2009
Visitors: 18505
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ok i am 12 years old, 5 foot 2 and 113 pounds. i sometimes feel overweight but i dont know! what is the appropriete weight for my age?!
please help me!! (link)
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There is a lot of controversy when it comes to what is the appropriate weight for someone. It has a lot of variables to consider like age, body type, and sex. Doctors use something called the body mass index to calculate normal weight, obesity etc. It changes every couple of years but I ran the numbers for you.
The numbers are as followed:
BMI of 18.5 or less= underweight.
BMI between 18.5 - 24.9= normal weight
BMI between 25- 29.9= overweight.
BMI over 30= obese
you have a body mass index of 20.7, which means you are a normal weight.
Realize though you are or about to go through another growth spurt so your weight and height will increase, which is normal.
Any other questions, feel free to ask.
Yours,
Arun
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Okay so here's my problem...I have a lot of friends, and i would say 50% of them are males. YOu're probably wondering what the problem is right? Well the problem is, i have a tendancy to fall in love with my guy friends because they are so sweet and the perfect boyfriend material type for me. Sometimes i think they like me by how they act around me, but then i find out they only like me as a "friend" I'm sick of being just the "friend" and i want to show guys i can be more...how can i should my guy friends that i can be more then just friends with them? That i want to be seen as girlfriend material? Thanks in Advance! (link)
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For some reason (whether it is evolutionary, physiologic/biologic or psychologic), males are able to seperate friendships and loves from each other (women seem to incorporate the two better- actually women use more of the brain when they do this then men- draw your own conclusions). They see you as a friend because they will act one way around you that is similar to their male friends than they do with a girl that they may like. They may reveal more of their true character to you (their vulnerabilities etc.), but hide that with the girl that they are interested in. They believe that guys need to be this rock suave stud for a girl to like them, when this is really not the case as you probably know. You've seen a side of them that only their friends do, so they don't think that you might like them that way.
Also they may not see you that way because they don't want to risk rejection. Whether a guy admits it or not, a guy takes rejection pretty hard even though they may not show it. They don't want to lose a friend if things don't go right. It is very difficult for a guy and girl to remain friends after a romantic relationship ends, no matter what age you are.
In time though, one of your male friends, if not, will mature and will realize that the one they want to be with is also their best friend. Everyone eventually reaches that point but it takes the guys longer to realize that. You can wait to see if this happens, but if you don't want to, you could always jsut take the one that you like, and talk to him about it. You can do it casually at the coffeeshop or something and discuss the issue with him. You may have to make him realize it by displacing the thought that "i'm in love with my best friend" from the unconscious pre-thought to the conscious. (sorry for that, I was a psych major so I gotta use those kinda crap words.)
Sorry for the long answer.
Best of luck,
Arun
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For the past four days I've had a burning sensation in my arms. It comes off and on but when it's gone my arms feel really weak. The other day I felt burning in my chest too and I got really nauseous and threw up. It doesn't just feel like heat...it hurts. It feels like rug burn or scrapes and I went to the doctor but she just said it didn't sound like anything serious and she gave me some acid reflux pills. I don't think this is acid reflux but can anyone help? (link)
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When does the burning happen in the arms? Is it after exercise or a lot of arm movement? If so it could be due to a vascular insufficiency to your arms. If there isn't enough blood getting to your arms, you muscles will start producing lactic acid (you know when your calves burn after a long run) which can cause the burning sensation. The burning and weakness could be due to a compressed nerve too, which is a common thing that happens too.
As for the chest pain, is it worse when you lie down? Is it worse at night? Does it happen after meals? Reflux could cause the burning in the chest but it shouldnt' cause the problem in your arms. I'm concerned about that the most. Your doctor may be right about the reflux for the chest burning but not for the arm things. Sorry that I can't narrow the things down for the chest thing because I'd have to know more answers to those questions (usually diagnosis is made from history).
For the arms though, you may need to see a specialist (a neurologist probably to rule out a nerve or muscular problem). Ask your doctor that you want a referral to a neurologist to have an EMG (electromyogram- checks nerve conduction to your arm) and also they can if it happens take a biopsy of the muscle where the weakness and the burning happens.
I'm disappointed with the doctor for just blowing this off- we serve the patient and if they're worried we're supposed to work to reassure them that all other problems are excluded.
Best of luck,
Arun
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hi,
does anyone have any tips on swallowing pills? i have to take some medium to large ones, and it's been hard for me to get them down. i can swallow small ones easy, its just those big ones. (no, i do not have a pill slicer.)
thanks. (link)
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the reason why you may be not able to handle the large pills is because of a very strong gag reflex. The best way to do it if you want is to take the pill not by itself but with food. In the act of eating, you take the pill with the water and a little bit of the chewed up food in your mouth. Drink the food and water and swallow like you would after chewing. Most of the time this will work.
If not, you have to place the pill on the very back part of your tongue where it starts to curve down into your throat and then without straightening your head start drinking the water or beverage of choice. The drinking reflex will force it down in the esophagus.
If this doesn't work, depending on the medication that it is- it may be available as a syrup.
Best of luck,
Arun
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is it wrong to like someone younger than you? (link)
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It isn't wrong to like someone younger than you. When you're older it is normal to range the age of who you date, marry etc.
However, if you're much older and in love with someone who is still not legally considered an adult (and you are), then it may be worth examining why do you like this younger person? Usually it isn't that person that they like but what they represent.
Best of luck,
Arun
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ok..lets get to it my bestfriend wants me to smoke weed with her and i dont want to but she said she wont be my friend if i dont do it....what should i do (link)
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A true friend would not make you make the choice between her friendship and weed. I have been free of drugs and drink for 3 years now, and I have lost a lot of "friends" because I don't get wild anymore. The friends that stuck with me and supported me were the ones that I am grateful to.
Its your body and no one can tell you what to put into it. If you feel pressured, tell her that a true friend wouldn't make her choose between doing drugs and a friendship. She may already feel insecure or have a problem with drugs herself, and the best thing that you can do is set an example for her. She may hate you at first but when she realizes that her life is out of control- she'll want your help- and that is when true friendship really shows.
Best of luck to you,
Arun
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does anybody know how hard it is to get into princeton b/c i am freaking out about getting into it. i am a straight A student but will it be enough? (link)
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Princeton is a very difficult school to get into. Straight A's do matter a lot, but it also matters on the kind of prep school you went to too. If you went to a very hard school then they'll be more impressed etc.
You need great SAT, ACT, SAT II (math and english + 1 more subject), great AP test scores (if you took them during junior year) and any other academic honors you've received (National Honor Society).
You'll also need a lot of great extracurricular activity. They fall in three areas- community, academic, and school activities. If you're a lacrosse player and a good one that helps too (before killing my knee I was going to go there for lax).
Also it helps if you're legacy (ie your parents, grandparents etc went there). Money doesn't matter that much anymore, because they have plenty of progams and get more money if they take non-rich people.
This may be dirty pool but find out if you're able to qualify for some Affirmative Action things- minority race, poor area, disadvantaged.
Also, recommendation letters matter and your essay matters too during the application.
Good luck,
Arun
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i have little love handels..they aren`t huge or anything but they borther me. what gets rid of them? like what excercies besides running because i already do that. and please explain the excercise. thank you:) (link)
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well you're already doing a great job with the running. Contrary to popular belief, doing a million crunches will not give you the defined six pack, because unless you burn the fat from that area, it's not going to show up.
The best exercises that you can do is lateral crunches. It's like a regular situp or crunch but you force the contraction toward the opposite knee. For example: you twist your right elbow toward you left leg. Also don't forget to strengthen your back and upper gluteal b/c they contribute to that area too. (there is actully more than 3 muscle groups in this area so doing these exercises with a low fat diet and plenty of cardio should help.)
Good luck,
Arun
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i don't understand how to kiss. i really nervous and scared but I really do want to.i'm 13 and a female i need advice on kissing (link)
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I think (at least when I was younger) it is up to the guy to really make the kiss special. (or maybe I think so b/c i'm a guy).
However, the environment is probably the most important thing next to the kiss itself- make sure your lips are moist but not wet. Do not lick your lips right before you kiss (saliva naturally dries out your lips). You may not want to wear lipstick either (can get messy). A good lip balm that keeps your lips moist and soft is best. Make sure that you have a good scent on (not too heavy though, just pleasant enough- sometimes the fragrance from your shampoo is enough).
Depending if you want to take control or let him take control- then just tilt your head to the side and lean in (as he should be too- never break eye contact if your eyes are open). Remember you should somewhat embrace and let it happen naturally. If you think that he is too aggressive with his tongue or too hard, just lean back a little bit and he should get the point. Like I said, it's stereotypical for the guy to make it right and you should just enjoy yourself. Do as much as you're comfortable with.
Most of all- this is your first kiss. The mood should be right and everything will be perfect. You'll always remember this one for all your life (I know I do.).
Best of luck,
Arun
P.S. I thought that if guys read this I'd put in some tips for them:
General rules: soft lips don't lick your lips before. Make sure you have a good cologne on but not too strong (subtle). Make it special- don't rush it.
Some Hints:
1. TEASE. When going in for a kiss start by brushing your partners lips, then pull back- see how she follows…
2. Before going in for the kiss, do something to let her know you are about to kiss her to build up her anticipation. For example brush hair out of her eyes.
3. Kiss you partner in a variety of different places: her hairline, jawline and her nose.
4. Use your tongue to tickle the roof of your partners mouth. The area in front is very sensitive (more nerve endings)
5. Use your hands. Use them to make the moment even more special, put them to good use by running them through her hair, or caress her shoulders and back.
6. When her tongue is in your mouth, hold it prisoner by gently sucking on it like a vacuum. The suction should send shivers down her spine. Don't bite down. Have small fun with it.
7. Stroke the nape of her neck while kissing- this is a particularly sensitive area that will really make her tingle…
8. When you seperate to catch your breathe, whisper to her how much you love her etc. Make it special.
kiss her gently at first, lips closed. After a few seconds, allow your lips to part slightly and let just a hint of tongue touch her lips. Pull away just a little. Kiss her again, allowing a little more tongue. Pull away, just a little. Keep eye contact if your eyes are open. Next kiss, insert just a little of your tongue just inside the part of her lips. And so on. If she is not quite ready to kiss you with tongue, she will pull away a little, so you'll know to slow down. And also it is a great tease, and a gradual way to get things going...
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hi...i'm a 16/f and i like a guy in my grade.. we always chat and hang out together but i never tell him that i like him. he has a traumatic experience in love,his exgf that he used to love with his whole heart dumped him and since then he wasn't able to accept any girls. we are like best friends since he really believes in me and he tells me all his problems that he won't tell others.i've tried to give him a few hints b4 and it ends up like he doesn't understand it.. recently,our schoolmates start to make some rumours that me and him are couple. when i asked his opinion bout it he jus smiled and say he dun mind.whenever i need him he will always be there for me.he always act like my bf but he din actually tell me b4 that he likes me.is there anymore hints that i could give him or should i just ask him straight to the point?? please give me some advice... (link)
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How long has it been since his girlfriend guped him? Athough some people say that it shouldn't take too long to get over someone, it sounds like he is a very sensitive guy and for him to give his heart to someone was a huge thing to do but then to get it stomped on, makes him at the same time more vulnerable and more pessimistic. It does seem that he does trust you more than anyone right now, and he just wants someone that he can be with that doesn't necessarily have to worry about hurting him at this time. Slowly he is opening his heart up to you and in due time he will soon realize that you would be perfect for him.
If he really is still hurt, asking him straight to the point might be a bit too much forhim and he may slam that door to his heart shut. However, let it gradually progress. If you guys spend alone time together, start by just sitting close, holding hands, getting comfortable being close to each other. If it seems that he really wants to, then you can lean in and kiss him (make sure that the mood is right and be somewhat subtle- soft not too aggressive). If he kisses you back then you already have your answer. If he hesitates a little bit, just say that the mood was just right and you are sorry for it. You didn't mean it in a terrible way (hence why it wasn't aggressive), but the way you make it sound more than likely it'll flourish. He probably likes you but doesn't want to appear that he is just close to you so that he can hook up with you.
Let things happen naturally- get closer to each other- and it'll happen.
Best of luck,
Arun
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I have a friend who wants a boyfriend but says that she doesn't like anyone. She says she wants to feel like she's loved by someone, but there is no one in our grade that she likes. How can i help her? (link)
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Often, I have seen that when younger girls feel that they need a boyfriend there is a deeper underlying issue going on. I don't know how old your friend is but she may just feel that all her friends have boyfriends that she feels left out of the loop. I know that happens when you get much older and your friends are all engaged or married and you're the only single one left.
If she has really low self-esteem and maybe depressed sometimes, one can feel that they need someone to love them because they aren't able to love themselves. She shouldn't just date someone because she wants a boyfriend. She should go out with someone that she can be friends with. If not in her grade then (depending on your age) with someone in another grade. If she wants to meet more people, then there are always (once again depends on age) that you can go, which are more social (talk to the nice guy in the coffeeshop or something like that- or some places where people your age like to hang out).
In due time though she will find someone that she likes and will date. There isn't a set age that yo uneed to have a boyfriend. Let it happen naturally.
Yours,
Arun
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lately my bf has been making lots of new friends that are girls, from all his classes and stuff. its been worrying me. we've talked about it and stuff, and he says he only likes them as friends, but he hangs out with them so much, and talks to them all so much. they r great girls, reallllllly pretty, and i can see how and why he would like them. i just get so worried, and i dont know how 2 be a better girlfriend to show him how much he means to me. im really worried that he could start to like these girls! what should i do? thanks (link)
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I don't know how old you are, but it is typical for a guy to eventually to make friends that are female. They become his advisors and things like that. At the time being there is nothing to be worried about.
You should see it that he is so comfortable and in love with you that he feels that he can be friends with girls, because he knows that he will be with you. You are probably already a fantastic girlfriend and you are overly concerned about his new friends. If you are concerned, you could ask him about it and express your concerns about it. I wouldn't worry too much though because its not one girl in particular that he spends a lot of time with. He isn't going to go out with a whole group of them in that way. He's with you.
I'm sure that you have guy friends that you like to talk to and seek advice with. He probably is doing the same and may not see that they're pretty etc. He may just see them as girls but he has the prettiest girfriend around. You don't need to do anything to be a better girlfriend. Let him love you and love him in return- and let time bring you closer together.
Best of luck.
Yours,
Arun
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ok... im 14 and i am 5'10... is that too tall? i am taller than most guys my age and although i have never really had a problem with it this year i do... im sure most girls would kill to be taller but i seriously want to cut my feet off i hate it so much... like i said... i am 14 but i truly look like i am 25... the other night i was havong dinner with my dad and i got his beer... i am sick of older guys hitting on me... and i am sick and tired of being around a guy i like (including my bf) and feeling like this huge mass... i really do WANT to look my age... is there ne way i can get over this?? and if not... there arnt ne special short pills are there??
...cle (link)
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There are no short pills that you can take. It is typical for a girl to go through puberty (including growth spurt) before guys do. You may look older at this point in time, but it just means that you're ahead of the curve right now. Some of your friends will eventually catch up to you. YOu should be proud about how tall you are. I know a lot of my female friends would love to be as tall as you.
Older guys are always going to be hitting on younger girls. Probably when all is said and done you may look like a supermodel (think about it all the big supermodels are your height). Although you may look older it doesn't mean that you have to act older. You are who you are and no one can change that. Be proud of who you are and just think how many more people are in awe of you.
Enjoy this time and it will get better as your friends start to grow more too. Have fun.
Best of luck,
Arun
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I just broke up with my boy friend and I feel miserable. I feel as if the world i going to end. I thought he was the one you knkow? But he did the same thing to me just like the others. No relationship has gone good for me. Every one was a jerk and used me, or just wanted to sleep with me. I don't think that I can get over this and feel as if the only way to stop the pain i to go in eternal sleep six feet under. Please someone help. And don't tell me to get over it b/c I've tried that to many and I'm afraid that's not going to work in this case. Please will someone HELP???!!!!! (link)
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Sweetheart,
Falling in love with someone is always the most personal thing that we can ever do. You open yourself up not just physically but emotionally. The wall that many of us have around our hearts- that we use to protect ourselves, we have to tear down when we fall in love. WHat is tragic though is that with every subsequent love we make that wall taller and stronger, so it takes more for that next person to tear it down- but it ends up hurting more.
You may just give too much of your heart and self into all your relationships. I don't know what type of guys you really go out with, but you may want to see if you fall for the same type of guy and then try to date someone different from that. Hurting youself is not the way to go, because you are not at fault for giving your heart into the relationship. If the guys don't see that you are a wonderful person and that you are into them for more than just physical reasons, then you have reached an age of maturity that they haven't yet. It has been shown that women mature much quicker than men do (some say that men never mature).
You are young and with every relationship you know what more you want in the next guy. Hold out for that one guy who will not only accept your heart but will protect with every ounce of his soul. Do guys like that exist? Yes, they do, you just have to find them, which is part of this process that we all go to. There is a one for us all, I believe, and we will end up with them eventually. Don't fall too quickly, be protective of your heart, and when it is seen by you that he gives you as much of his heart as you do, then as two souls in one- discover how love really can be.
I know that this is a long statement without a conclusive answer, but I'm just hoping that you can see that there is someone there out there and they will come in your life, and hurting yourself like that is not the way- because there is a guy out there who's looking for you, and if you're gone, there would be nothing more tragic than that.
Yours,
Arun
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OK. See me and my b/f have been going out for a little over three months...everytime i see him all we really do is make out. i mean he has gone up my shirt, but he hasnt tried to go any farther than that. im starting to get tired of the same old thing everytime i see him. why wont he go farther with me? another thing is... i want him to finger me and i know he wants to because he told my friend he wanted to but he never has, and he told her this when we had only been dating a month. if he does finger me tho im scared that he wont like it because i have hair... down there... should i shave it? what do guys perfer? does it really matter? plz answer ill rate sincerely confused (link)
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He may not be familiar with the anatomy down there or what exactly you want him to do. This also shows that he does have a lot of respect for you and is interested in more than just getting his own pleasure. This is a good opportunity for the two of you to really get together in a meaningful way.
Next time you two are intimate with each other, you may like to direct him on how you liked to be touched. Who knows your body better than youself? This way he'll be able to get to know what you like and won't be too rough or do something that you may not like. You can both use the time to explore each other in a very meaningful way.
As for the shaved part? I think that if you stop at stimulation of the hand, some hair would not make a difference. However, if you believe that you may progress to oral gratification- then it may be easier for him if you are shaved. Do what is most comfortable for you because it is your body.
Best of luck,
AK
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After you spent 3 years engaged to the man you thought was the man of your dreams and you have troubles that make the relationship end, how long does it take for the tears to stop? When do you start over. 37 yrs 2 chilren
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I'm really sorry that you had to go through all of that. I also feel for your children because I"m sure that htey had become quite attached to him too. When do the tears stop? I think that some people think that when you're older you're able to wipe things off faster and move on, but we know that isn't true.
The tears will stop eventually because eventually there will be new joys in your life, whether it is another man who will love you and your kids as much as you love him, the day your kids graduate from school, or when they get married or have kids. The tears will be replaced eventually once the shadows of the gray skies in your eyes are replaced by the sun of the joy in other areas of your life.
Don't lose faith though. You'll know when you're ready to start over again with dating. You may have been engaged to him but how much more tragic would it have been if it happened after you had gotten married? Kiss your children, thank god that they are healthy and you're healthy, and tomorrow start new and fresh with the dreams of the future to light your way. However, if you must cry- cry, it makes us all feel better and tears always stop eventually.
Yours,
Arun
"Be comforted and don't be lonely. The sun shines on you by day, and the moon and the stars reflect their light on you by night; thus you areloved by those around you, with an unceasing, bright love. Hold this love in your hopes and remember it in your prayers." - Joanne Domenech.
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Next school year (my senior year of high school) I am probably going to be a forgein exchange student in another country...wow! I'm so excited, but I still haven't picked the country yet where I want to stay with a host family. Does anyone have any information on what a good country would be and also other things I might want to know? (link)
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This is a very interesting question because you're going to be a senior. In some countries (I know in France) they have a different educational system than they do in the USA. They have one major exam that they take that they prepare for during their last year in school, which pretty much determines what school they go to and if they can go into certain professions (like medicine). Why am I telling you this? Because that last year may be difficult to get all the classes that you need for college. Also, if you're college bound you want to make sure that the school that you go to has a service to help you do that.
I was about to go to boarding school my sophomore year in high school (but didn't), and some of the places that I was considering was the American School in London (there is also one in Paris and maybe geneva?). It all depends on what you want to get out of it. If you're good in speaking french, then go to Paris. It is really awe aspiring and you'll fall in love with romance, literature, art, culture and true beauty. If you're not so great in speaking french, I would recommend London (which is very cool place to hang out) or a ciy in Italy (Florence, Milan, or Rome). They're much more friendly about talking english.
When you do get there, get a europass. You may want to get a students advantage card (www.studentsadvantage.com), which will save you money on the europass and flights etc. You'll be jumping around a lot while in europe esp on train. Also, I recommend that you get a credit card (get your parents to get you one card in your name- preferably with your picture on it). Carrying cash is not a great idea there and a credit card usually gets much better exchange rates.
Most of all, take a great leather journal to write about all your experiences- I know that I can't forget my time abroad.
Have fun,
Arun
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who invented jello? (link)
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in 1845 a chemical engineer by the name of Peter Cooper invented Jello. He also created the first American locomotive. You can do a google or yahoo search on peter cooper and get as much info as you want.
Later,
Arun
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If you know about any sites for ideas for decorating my room, it would be great!!! ill rate 5 if its a good site. thanx. (link)
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Well, I know that all sorts of people have different styles and you want something that would be more tailored for you.
I like www.hgtv.com (home and gardening channel). In the search field use something like teen bedroom, or whatever you want to decorate and it'll take you to different things all with pictures and often with prices of stuff. You can have some fun there looking at different things.
Good luck on the room,
Arun
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Does anyone know why my cacti keep dieing?
1) i have them by a window
2) and i water them once a week (link)
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Is it a true cactus or a christmas cactus? Well, I'll assume a cactus.
Cactus as you know are from the desert. They don't need that much water in the first place. It is recommended that in the summer (if they're indoors) you should give them water 2x a week. In the winter though, cacti are known to lie dormant (they don't actively grow), so you only need to water them once a week. They feed off the water that they store inside and over watering them can turn them into a mush like thing.
The window is fine esp if it's a sunny south or west facing window. Like humans, most of their "growing" happens at night.
Later,
Arun
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