Okay so here's my problem...I have a lot of friends, and i would say 50% of them are males. YOu're probably wondering what the problem is right? Well the problem is, i have a tendancy to fall in love with my guy friends because they are so sweet and the perfect boyfriend material type for me. Sometimes i think they like me by how they act around me, but then i find out they only like me as a "friend" I'm sick of being just the "friend" and i want to show guys i can be more...how can i should my guy friends that i can be more then just friends with them? That i want to be seen as girlfriend material? Thanks in Advance!
vickiooos answered Saturday January 29 2005, 10:20 pm: its ok.. it use to happen to me alot (still does lol). everyone is like that at one point of time or another.. they've just always got those guys thta are just always gonna be your best guy-friend. stay in the game.. some of the real worthwhile guys are probably just around the corner. it's totally ok to fall for your friends.. honestly i think that's better b/c you already know somewhat about the guy right? eventually one of those guys will finally come around and see you for everything as you are. =] [ vickiooos's advice column | Ask vickiooos A Question ]
Erinn_the_bamf answered Saturday January 29 2005, 9:39 am: There is no such thing as girlfriend material. There are different guys so they like different girls. You can be a stereotype ditz, a sport girl, a totally and completely out there girl, and anything else you can imagine. It's impossible to tell you how to act because the truth is if a guy doesn't like you for who you are there's no changing that and if you change for him it's just stupid because you're probably wonderful as who you are. Maybe you can look outside your normal group of friends for someone. I hope I helped! ♥ good luck
♠ spade [ Erinn_the_bamf's advice column | Ask Erinn_the_bamf A Question ]
AKSherma answered Saturday January 29 2005, 9:37 am: For some reason (whether it is evolutionary, physiologic/biologic or psychologic), males are able to seperate friendships and loves from each other (women seem to incorporate the two better- actually women use more of the brain when they do this then men- draw your own conclusions). They see you as a friend because they will act one way around you that is similar to their male friends than they do with a girl that they may like. They may reveal more of their true character to you (their vulnerabilities etc.), but hide that with the girl that they are interested in. They believe that guys need to be this rock suave stud for a girl to like them, when this is really not the case as you probably know. You've seen a side of them that only their friends do, so they don't think that you might like them that way.
Also they may not see you that way because they don't want to risk rejection. Whether a guy admits it or not, a guy takes rejection pretty hard even though they may not show it. They don't want to lose a friend if things don't go right. It is very difficult for a guy and girl to remain friends after a romantic relationship ends, no matter what age you are.
In time though, one of your male friends, if not, will mature and will realize that the one they want to be with is also their best friend. Everyone eventually reaches that point but it takes the guys longer to realize that. You can wait to see if this happens, but if you don't want to, you could always jsut take the one that you like, and talk to him about it. You can do it casually at the coffeeshop or something and discuss the issue with him. You may have to make him realize it by displacing the thought that "i'm in love with my best friend" from the unconscious pre-thought to the conscious. (sorry for that, I was a psych major so I gotta use those kinda crap words.)
icey0990 answered Saturday January 29 2005, 9:20 am: I know how you feel..I seem to have the same thing happen. Good things happen for those who wait for them..so we just have to wait. Be yourself and a guy will realize your the one he wants to be with..until then you just have to be yourself. Dont change anything about yourself..just keep doing what your doing ..and dont worry the wait will be worth it. [ icey0990's advice column | Ask icey0990 A Question ]
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