Matt's advice column

okay so christmas is coming fast and i need some money so i can get my boyfriend a present but the thing i want get him is like 80$~90$ and i have 30 bucks already i just need a fast way to get the rest. thanks!

Now, usually I'd advise you to rob a bank, but I got banned for that once.

Now, I'm not telling you to rob a bank. I'm just throwing it out. Not necessarily as an idea, but just a combination of words that would result in a lot of money.

OR! You could take my brother's idea. He's 14 so he's obviously a genius and an expert on making money. Take it away, Mark!

"Cash for Gold! Send in your used, broken, or unwanted jewlery and get money back the very next day! 'I sent in my wedding band from my first marriage, and got money back the very next day!'"

[view]

If your friend wants you to spend the night with her, and you don't want to, what is a good excuse besides saying u are going somewhere the next day?? Please respond asap. Thanks!

Tell them you have temporary mono.

Hooowwww cccooonnnnvvveeennniiiieeennnnttt!

[view]

kayy so i really like this guy but how do i tell him i like him becuase he has a girl friend
thanks
loveboys

"Hi, my name's Loveboys and- hey, where are you going? Come back!"

[view]

My mom is really protective she is always up in my life like alot she want to know everything how do i kindly ask her to give me a little space??
thanks
loveboys

Tell your mom that you are really annoyed with what she named you.

[view]

i dont go to church, and basically every one i know does, or is heavily religious. what do i say to people if they ask me where i go to church, or did i go to church today?

thanks for your help!

Tell them you go to a mosque.

Bye bye friends!

[view]

I have too many & can't let them go, but I'm no hoe! haha. I just like 2! They're not my boyfriends we just talk. I do not touch them, only maybe a kiss.

1.) K. he's very sweet, is absolutely SWELL in football. we get along very good, but sometimes he's more like a friend. he reeeally likes me & I think I want to try a little longer with him

2.) S. he is F.I.N.E. FINE FINE! He's just young & is way too sexual for me, but he's nice. he goes to my school & I see him every where at school. he calls me everynight & I HATE talking on the phone. idk how to give him up!

3.) R. my love! he's my favorite. he jus looks like a bad boy, but he's extremely nice & our chemistry is wonderful. I'm keeping him but we keep talking less and less. idk y, but I'm keeping him!

4.) Z! the new 1.long story but I can't let him go! he's so clingy and we have so many friends together. he really likes me too. wat is my excuse ? it can't be a lie because our friends know the truth!

A good rule of thumb is once you have more than four guys to choose from, it's time to go lesbo.

[view]

stop giving obnoxious answers.

Not a bad technique. Odd that no one's tried it.

[view]

So my boyfriend and I titt* f*ck a couple of weeks ago, but I woke up the next day with all these red dots on my chest. I told my bf and he said that its the friction between the penis and my boobs that caused the red dots. Over the next couple of days, the red dots went away, but theres still a couple that are not very noticeable, but it is bothering me. I have not gone to the doctor, but I have called STD lines and they were very rude to me. So is it really just friction? or is it herpes? ps he's not a virgin, if that helps

If he ejaculated on your rack you could have just had an unfavorable reaction to his semen.

I wouldn't want to be covered in jizz either. :|

[view]

why are boys shy? arent they suppsoed to be like... not.. haha

You're exactly right. It is illegal in most states for guys to be shy.

[view]

My mom does stuff just to irritate me im 18/m and in January I leave for the army for four years. So now im just tryna have fun while im STILL A TEENAGER but it seems like she just doesn't want me too.nd im tryna hav fun b/c from 13 to 17 I was n foster care so I realy cudnt do anything. she just recently took my car away for the dumest reason ever I was at a party nd didn't get bc till 6am, big deal who cares? I've told her that I jus wanna have fun before I leave b/c I won't ever be 18 again. But all she wants me to do is spend time wit her nd I dnt want to because all we do is argue cuz she criticizes me bout everything. She thinks I need to depend on her for everything that's why I can't wait to lev. Oh yea we jus moved to a new city away from all my friends wich I think she did on purpose.
So basically my question iswhat shud I do im goin crazy bein home all day nd I can't really talk to her. Nd all my friends r goin out havn fun nd im stuc home.What shud I do?? Thanks

You're acting like a dick.

Act like someone serving his country, not some punk-ass teenager that only cares about himself.

[view]

What constitutes a reason for living?

Sure beats dying.

[view]

14-F
I really like this guy
Lets call him P
So, me and P. We talk everyday, every time we see eachother
ALL my friends insisted he liked me back
So, a few day ago, P found out I liked him
That same day, we talked alot on the bus
He didnt think I knew he knew
So today, he completely ignores me
I try talking to him, he looks at me, & turns his back to me

Im so hurt
Ive been crying my eyes out
What does this mean?
What should I do

I have no confidence what-so-ever

My scientific classification of him is 14 year old.

If you really want to cry your eyes out, do it over something productive. Go after a 17 year old so he can use you and ditch you.

[view]

how do you resist a craving? like for food.

http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2273/2182538768_19ccb1baf6.jpg?v=0

Boom, problem solved.

[view]

It seems like noone is good anymore!!! I need good music! I dont like country, rap, and most pop. I like rock and a tiny bit of pop. Oh yeah and I like artists like rihanna and beyonce, I dont know what thats called. So does anyone have any good bands or songs I could listen to????

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GT8n3r2WnkA&feature=related

Judging by your current taste, you could certainly use a Holy War in your brain.

[view]

Just wondering, but can you breast feed with implants?

Yes.

http://www.babycenter.com/0_breastfeeding-after-breast-augmentation-implants_8680.bc

[view]

You..are by far..the funniest and most genius columnist. Just throwing it out there.

Thank you, much appreciated. :)

[view]

I am getting a guitar soon for my birthday and my parents want me to tell them what kind of guitar I want. It is going to be my first guitar that I will learn to play mainly on my own.

There are SO many different guitar brands like Gibson guitars, Ibanez guitars, Fender guitars, and Peavey guitars.

There are acoustic guitars and electric guitars.

There are even classical guitars, if I recall correctly.

What is the difference between acoustic guitars and electric guitars? Which is best for beginning on? Which is easier to play? Which is cheaper? Do they sound different?

Some advice would really help!

An acoustic guitar projects sound from just the guitar. An electric guitar projects electronically through an amp. What you go for really depends on what you want to play. If you're interested in playing metal or rock or things like that, you'd probably want to go electric. The amount you'll be paying will go up substantially if you go for an electric because of all the equipment necessary for a quality sound.

An acoustic guitar is what you'd find around a campfire, an electric guitar is what you'd find at a Metallica concert.

Electric:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=34HTkVSTXts&feature=related

Acoustic:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JrxZtzXtg6w

[view]

i(16 in december) had sex for the first time last night with my boyfriend (18 in november)! i have a few questions;

1. is it okay if it hurt for most of the time, but felt so good at the same time?

2. is it good or bad that i bled while having intercourse?

3. it hurt like heck when he first inserted his penis into my vagina, is that alright?

4. we used protection, is he supossed to cum in your vagina with the protection?

5. how can i be 100% positive that im NOT preggers.

6. is it okay that i couldnt sleep the night we had intercourse? i fell asleep at like 1145 then i woke up at 4am before school!

7. is it okay if i sweated a lot on my body, but not my face?

8. do you think it was a little early? we have been going out for a month and a week.

please dont lecture me about the age difference between us, i like this boy a lot. he has done so much for me, hes gotten me out of so much trouble, gotten me away from almost being arrested twice. drives me to school every morning. kisses me in the hallway. holds my hand around his friends and my friends. he isnt all about hooking up or sex. i am able to tell him anything thats going on. i trust him 100% with anything. he meets me after almost every class.

oh, and 9. is that a good relationship? what i just described.

answer what you can =]
thank you in advance!

There's a 100 percent chance you're pregnant.

Screwing after a little more than a month of dating has that effect.

[view]

can someone give a good example of something "way ahead of its time"?

Leonardo da Vinci

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Leonardo_da_Vinci#Leonardo_as_observer.2C_scientist_and_inventor

Go down to scientist, observer, inverter.

[view]

<<< Previous Advice Column

Next Advice Column >>>