Q: I was having a semi-asthma attack on the phone with my boyfriend, and if you've ever had an asthma attack you aren't able to talk without hurting yourself. My boyfriend was asking over and over if I could breathe, well obviously not? I wouldn't answer because it hurt for me to talk and I finally answered with "No!" Then he takes it all defensivly and was like "Sorry! I was just trying to help, but you keep shutting me out." I wasn't shutting him out was I? I was just trying to be able to breathe... Any Advice?

Q: I'm 15/f and a freshman in highschool. Lately I've been having problems with my phys. ed. teacher. I'm not going to be around the bush about this, but he's an asshole. (excuse my language). He's always such a jerk to me about every little thing. A friend of mine had a shirt on that she changed into for PE that had a picture of George Bush Sr. and George Bush on it and it sayd Dumb and Dumber under their pictures. He had a fit about it and I was supporting her saying that she can have an opinion about whatever the heck she wants to. He basically said she's not allowed to have an opinion about it until she's 18. Then he proceeded to say how he can run his class the way he wants to and if I have a problem with it to take it up with the principal. Not only is he a jerk, but alot of the time he seems like one of those really creepy pedophile type people. He's always staring at me when we do stretches and stands behind me when we're doing toe- touches. We had to do jumping jacks this weird way and I'm not coordinated enough to do it so he asked me to stay after class about it. We were doing lay ups when we played basketball and I suck at any sport that involves a ball and he asked me to stay after class to work on it when there were about 5 other people that sucked 10 times worse than me but didn't ask them to stay after. What exactly should I do about this? I mean, he hasn't made "a move" on me so I can't really say much about that but what should I do? Sorry this was long!

Q: well, my friend, who happens to be the same sex as me, keeps getting uncomforatblely close to me... well actually 2 same sex friends do this... and when i ask them to stop they constantly do this and one i think doesn't do it on purpose and she's always doing this and it bugs the heck out of me... how do i make it stop?!?!?

Q: One of my best friends just told me that she liked me today. She asked me if i had any feelings about it and i said not yet. The problem is that i don't really know if i like her as more than a friend. I used to like her like about a month ago, but i stopped. This may not make any sense but i want to like her as more than a friend because she is one of the nicest people i know, but i just don't think i see her that way. Is that possible? I don't want to hurt her and tell her that i'm not interested but i don't want to go out with her either. What should i do?

Q: my close friends ex gf is always tryin to make me jealous once i was about to over there and kick her ass. she always tryin to make me jealous any advice i can get to make her stop. i cant start anything with her because my guy friend will be mad at me 4 mess with her.plz help!

Q: im really worried about my best friend she sleeps with anyone and anything that moves last week she slept with 5 different guys than last night at a party she slept with 3 guys gave head to 1 and let that guys brother go down on her and hooked up with my close mate now she saying she wont hang around me unless i change im out of ideas of things to do.

Q: O.k i'm 14/fm and live in Texas. I want a b.f. so badly, but none of the boys at my school like me cause i have braces, and i'm 5ft 2inch. I've had boyfriends, but they were'nt very much true b.f.'s. I'm always told by a friend or something that i'll never have a true b.f. that actually likes me, cause they eather say i'm not pretty enough or i'm not smart enough. My dad says i'm pretty, and i get all a's in my classes. How come guy's still don't like me. Maybe a guy could answer this question for me. Thanx lots.
Love- Lacey P.S. i give people who answer nicely 5's.True answers to please.

Q: What's the best way to ask your parents if you can go out on a date- I'm not talking about "boyfriends" that you have in like 7th grade, I mean HS bfs .. and how to tell your parents that you have a bf without feeling-weird and uncomfortable! Thanks

Q: How come everyone thinks im mean? all i do is tell the truth. I gues they just cant handle the truth. Do you guys appreciate it when people tell you the truth or stupid lies? I would rather know the truth not stupid lies people tell me to feel better gosh.

Whats your opinion
Ya_gots_to_luv_me :)

Q: Does this sum up what is going on, or did I miss something?

(This was originally posted in response to a question about why most people here are 13 year old females.)

Hello there,

I have been trying my best to figure that one out...

Have you noticed that girls will tell their dads things that they simply can NOT bring themselves to talk to their mother about? Same thing goes for boys. There is a definate lack of Dad type creatures around these days. Failing to have that person to bounce things off of, they ask their peers.

Why? Because, quite frankly, when you are 13, practically everyone you know well enough to ask advice. Boys and girls all the same.

The difference comes in that a boy can ask his mother: "Hey Mom, what can I do to impress this girl." Mom is a girl, so she knows the answer usually. Don't EVER ask your mother what a boy likes... :-)

A boy at 13 has a number of people around of the male type, varying in ages, which he can ask most everything he would ask a dad if he were there. Pastor/teacher/martial arts instructor/mechanic/barber, etc.

We wouldn't think twice about asking someone we hardly know if we should get roses or chocolate, do we look alright, etc.

People say men don't ask for advice... That's bull. You see, we do. We will ask, get the answer and move on. I remember hearing girls talk about what their friend said they should do, and their friend's friend said this and that and the other.

Men, are very simple in such respects. We don't intentionally ask people we know will give bad advice. If we have a matter of life experience, we like to go to people who have already lived through a few more things than we have. For example: Back when I was 12, I wouldn't go seeking investment or job advice from someone 13. Try 50+ They have already done all the career stuff and if they did it right you get good advice. If however they did it wrong, you get to find out what job you do NOT want to get into. By asking our elders these things we learn something either way.

Today we all have reduced opportunities. When you are little today, you can't just hang out with adults... The news people have everyone convinced that every adult is a predator unless they are your parent. Guess what? The last figures I saw indicated that better than 80% of all child sexual abuse is committed by one or both parents.

What effect has this had? When I was about 6 my Dad went to pick up something from an equipment yard. I went with him and noticed a guy rebuilding an engine. Dad went into the office to pay, so I wandered over and started bugging this guy. By the time Dad came out, I was learning how to use a torque wrench. (The thing you use to make sure all the bolts on something are tight enough, but not too tight.)

Dad asked the guy if I was bothering him. He said not at all, so Dad left me there to learn for about 3 hours. I got a lot of that. Dad was a fair judge of character.

Now, there usually isn't a dad at all. :-( Everyone is so scared of things that kids never get a chance to talk to many people wiser than themselves.

We have ended up in a place where the only place to get advice is from our peers. People your own age usually give bad advice about almost everything. Boys, girls it doesn't matter.

Right now, on this board, there is a 13 year old female asking what she needs to do to start having sex. There are a few people who asked her to think twice, but those in her age range were less concerned with her mental health, and more concerned she get an appropriate condom.

A 14 year old, said something like "Don't wait till you get old like me, get your groove on before you get too old"

BAD ADVICE! Down! Bad Advice, no biscuit!

Adults in general aren't out to get you. It's a fact. If your Mom gives you bad advice, it isn't because she is trying to ruin your life... It is because she THINKS WHAT SHE IS TELLING YOU IS RIGHT. It doesn't make it right. Not at all. Same thing for Dads. (Though I mostly see complaints about mothers here.)

When my parents knew I was old enough to think for myself is NOT when I said I was. It was after I proved it. I thought something my parents said was unreasonable. My dad told me to put it in writing. I did my own thinking on why I felt that way. Then I started researching the idea. What I found out was that my parents were right about that. I wrote it out and handed it over. It was after that that my parents KNEW that if I looked into things for myself I would come to the right conclusion. Even if I didn't like it.

Short version: You want to be treated like a thinking, well read, intelligent and wise adult? Act like one.

Adult life is a lot easier when we spend our youth listening and learning everything we can to make smart choices.

Here's another thought: Travel. Out of this country. See how the rest of the world lives. Most people buy clothes because they are durable, not because they are "IN" (for about a week.) Guaranteed to open your mind to a whole new way of thinking.

Over a quarter million people died in the recent Tsunami... The survivors have NO PLACE at all to call home. And the current threads here are: "Should I wear a thong?" "Where do I get Like size 00 clothes, that are, like, in?" I like this boy...girl, etc."

The best thing that ever happened to me was seeing that almost everything I had been told to believe was important: Cars, clothes, trends, music, hair, team choice, etc. was completely and totally meaningless when you look at the big picture. I would have been right here asking the same kinda stuff(boy version of course) had I not had that opportunity.

Ok, this became a rant. Not against 13 year old girls. A rant against what our society tells 13 year old girls and boys is important for them to be worrying about.

Back to the topic of WHY:

Girls, let me ask you a question: How many of your girlfriends did you tell about this site?

Now tell me how many boys you told about it? Did you tell them there was a guy with 20+ years of computer experience they could ask questions for free? (I normally charge $75.00 per hour in my shop.) Did you tell them there was a place to ask questions about cars and trucks? How about model rockets? R/C cars? Paintball? Airsoft guns? Model building? Sports? Weight training? Hunting? CB radios? Computer hardware/software/networking? Car stereo? Hydraulics? Truck driving scools?

Have you told a single boy you know about any of the things that HE might be interested in?

Do I see one hand raised? Ok, so you get a boy in here and he asks a question. Wonderful! What do most of the girls do? Make fun of him, laugh at him, tell him he is stupid or he would already know and CORRECT HIS SPELLING! I am almost to the point where I have looked at every question on this site. I saw a lot of that on my way through.

What do I do when someone asks a question I don't know the answer to... I research it and post links to appropriate resources. When was the last time you did that for a question you couldn't answer? Saying something "cute" or mean as hell does not encourage the participation of teen boys. Teen boys are actually quite insecure about opening themselves up to be called stupid, or made fun of. They don't handle it well at all. It just guts them and they are never quite the same.

Here is something to consider: You have this guy, who you really like. You set up a date. You go out and buy the BEST outfit on earth. Your Mom likes this guy, so she gives you her credit card, sends you to get hair and makeup done in the BEST place in the city.

So far so good? Ok, now he shows up to take you out, and when you open the door, he bursts out laughing! Pointing and LAUGHING AT YOU!

Your new duds may be stylish, and the hair may be the latest french design but to him it is hilarious. He doesn't know anything about french fashion, or Neiman Marcus so to him you look like a hooker in a clown suit.

How BAD would you feel? Would anything ever make you COMPLETELY whole again after something like that?

Same thing if this site offers to answer questions and then the people here ridicule and belittle the askers. Boys minds work different than girls. It isn't a bad thing, it is just they way we are wired.

I got an email from someone after I answered their question. They said they quit using the site because the response they got to a very well thought out question was: "F***ing Dumb*SS!"

I reported another place this person used the same abusive response, using the abuse report feature, and this was the response:

"Moderator Response
Submitted: by FrEe2bMe
Reponse: While K**************'s response was not appropriate, if you look at their over all rating it is only a 2.21. That is why there is now a threshold where you can set who you want to recive answers from Under Profile Setting adjust it so you only recieve answers from people like 4 or higher or whatever your comfortable with. :)"

This guy, yes GUY, 15 years old didn't know that, so he will never be back.

Did anyone step up to tell this person off? Did anyone else report it? Do you even know where the abuse link is?

It is up to the majority here to decide if this is going to be Advivenators.com or Abusenators.com

Since the majority here are 13 year old girls, I ask you: Which will it be?

DangerNerd

Q: My boyfriend and i have been dating for the past 5 months. We go to the same high school, but next year he is going to a public school and leaving me at the private school we both go to now. He has had sex before and i havent. He wants me to but i tell him im not ready and he says he can wait. I love him so much and he tells me he loves me to, i just am nervous to have sex with him and then he will leave. and i dont want the condom to break and im stuck having a kid. Plus the main promblem is what will god think of me? Please Help!!!!!!!!!

Q: how do you turn color pictures into black and white?? i will rate!!

Q: 14/f
I'm a Christian so I want to be a virgin till I'm married, but lately it's been real hard to stay that way. I'm letting my hormones make me too curious. (I've never actually even seen a penis before.) I get really horny a lot and sometimes I ever masturbate to get over it. I'm way too young to have sex but lately I've wanted to give a handjob or even get laid. How can I keep motivated to stay a virgin? I know I'm not ready for sex.

Q: Well me and my boyfriend have exsperimented "below" the belt. He never said anything before, but now hes complaining about me not shaving. I shaved once before, now i usually just trim. When i shved i hated it i couldnt stand it, it itched and hurt and it was annoying. What should i do?

Q: Me and my boyfriend did it on the 11th (i remember because i went to my friends party afterward). The first time we did it we used protection then we took a break and did it again but didn't use protection bc we didn't have any and I know that was stupid of me. The second time we only did it for about 5-10mins. A week or so passed and I took a test to see if I was pregnant, I wasn't. On the 25th I was suppose to have my period which didn't happen. Should I be worried or whats going on plez help I can't ask my parents bc they'll never look at me again.

Q: i dont know everyone always says "your to abusive" because ill hit guys and stuff just messing around but i guess that is my way of flirting with them but it dosent work aparently what are some ways i could be nicer or just flirt in a more gentle way? thank you.

Q:
Is it possible to be suicidal, but to not have attempted suicide...?

Q: I'm 15 years old and I've never had a boyfriend. Pathetic, I know. The main problem people keep telling me is that when i like a guy i tend to be shy around him. I like this one guy right now and he knows i like him thanks to one of my big mouth friends. We've talked only maybe twice before he found out i liked him but thats the only time we've ever talked. When i see him in the halls he looks at me...what does that mean? How can i get him to like me without coming on to him as a stalker?

Q: My question is, why does it seem like an overwhelming amount of the advisors on this web site are teenage girls? I'm serious about this. Is it because they have more time on their hands, have a stronger feeling of needing to give advice, need more advice.etc.etc? What do you think the reason is?

Q: Ok, here goes...background, I'm 30, recently separated and getting divorced. I had not had much of any social life while married, long story and part of the reason for the divorce..anyway, to help meet new people I posted a personal on a website, I met and started emailing with someone, we went to talking on the phone, we've been talking for a few weeks now, at first if I asked about getting together she gently passed the question, then we made plans to get together, she didn't show but called. She has said she was and is scared when it comes to guys in general, she has said she really likes me, and I like her, we talk for hours, but I again asked her out and she just said she's really nervous...I don't know if she wants to date, or if I'm wasting my time. I'm not in a hurry, but at the same time if we like each other, why have we not gotten together, we know alot about each other and it seems mutual, but...DOES SHE WANT TO DATE?? I don't want to pressure her, but she even told me if I don't push her we won't ever get together because she's nervous/scared...What do I do?

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