Gender: Female
Location: United Kingdom
Occupation: Student
Age: 21
Member Since: February 22, 2004
Answers: 152
Last Update: November 20, 2004
Visitors: 7791
|
| |
Hi, I'm "Joanna" and my two best friends "Martina and Danielle" have been friends since 4th grade(we're now in sixth). But since the beginning of this year, Martina has left me and Danielle behind. She never talks to us, and we haven't made any friendly contact with her for ages. But now her and her (new) idiotic friend "Lorey" have been kinda harassing me. They've called my house before, saying they were Danielle but I knew better and wouldn't talk. I've had skittles thrown at me. Her and her new cooler friends were sitting at a table next to us one day at lunch, and they kept pointing and whispering about who knows what. I try to just ignore them, but it doesn't seem to work at all! What do I do?!
Hating change,
Joanna (link)
|
Popularity is often a HUGE temptation for people while they're still in school -- but believe me, it's a huge farce. No one in the real world gives a damn whether you were "popular" or "geeky" in school, so your friend "martina" and her new popular friends will fall face-first back down to earth, sooner hopefully rather than later.
As for her leaving you and Danielle, it seems that perhaps this may have been a good thing. When you're growing up, you often branch out to find new friends and new groups, and Martina doesn't sound too genuine to me. These girls are stupid, immature bullies who just want to feel empowered by throwing things at you and pointing and whispering. Don't let it get to you. Stay with Danielle, ignore their calls (if you know it's them, just put the phone down before they say anything), try to ignore their whispering, and avoid them all together if you can. They WILL get bored, because they're trying to get a reaction out of you, they're waiting till you turn around and say something to them. I know it's hard, hun, cos i've done my school years. Just be safe in the knowledge that they're sad little girls with no lives, and obviously don't know how to act like normal human beings.
|
|
Should I run away from home my mom doesn't want to listen. (link)
| |
Would running away solve your problems? Living on the streets with no money, no food, no home to go back to? I'm guessing that you're a teenager- ALL teens go through rough patches with their parents, it comes with the process of growing up and getting your own sense of identity and independence. I'm eighteen and me and my mum still have fights; but we just ignore each other for a week, give each other some space, and then things are back to normal. Keep your chin up- try talking to your mum about how you feel, give each other some room to breathe and cool off. Whatever you do, DON'T run away. Running from your problems doesn't solve them.
|
|
I have been with my boyfriend for almost 5 years, living together for 3 of them. In this time, he has never celebrated my birthday unless I specifically told him where to take me. He initially told me his family didn’t celebrate birthdays but I found that to be false. Every year he has a new excuse, even when I make it clear that I’d like him to celebrate my birthday in some way—even if it is just a card. This year was the worst. He started a fight with me and then told me he had planned to take me to dinner except the fight ruined it. But he never even made reservations anywhere. I just can’t understand why he insists on hurting my feelings like this or how to make him understand how important it is to me to be treated special for one day a year. We have his daughter from a previous relationship (who I have helped raise since she was 2) every weekend so we do not get to be romantic very often. It seems silly to me to break up over this, but I can’t take his thoughtlessness anymore. (link)
| |
Maybe your boyfriend has some problems coping with birthdays in general; i obviously don't know much about him, but maybe he didn't have family to love and care for him on his birthdays, so he doesn't think he needs to show any more or any less compassion on yours. I don't even know if he is intentionally hurting your feelings. You must be close if you've been living together for 3 years, so why don't you talk to him about it? tell him you're feeling down about your relationship, that you're wondering if he's ok, that you both need to take some time out of work to spend together. If you don't tell him, it's likely that he'll never know what's bothering you. Good luck.
|
|
I am a 20 year old male from florida. I started dating a girl about a month ago, also I live with her. She is bi-sexual and that sort of bothers me, but I can deal with it. She spends a lot of time online, at least an hour or two each day, talking to people, some she knows offline and others she doesnt. She left herself logged in to one of her accounts today and so when I went to use the computer it was on her message screen from some free online friend network thing. She was exchanging messages with a girl from orlando who was also bi. The first message is my girlfriend responding to a post from the other girl about "girl seeks girl in florida for love" or somthing close to that. They have exchanged a few messages, kind of flirty, and im not sure if I should be worried, upset, should I talk to her about it? We have a pretty good relationship so far, I think, and we talk about everything. What should I do? (link)
| |
I think you have every right to be angry and upset, especially since this seems to be a committed relationship. You need to talk to her about it. You sound like a genuine, lovely guy, and someone who deserves love and commitment, not some girl who is just messing around. Hope it all works out x
|
|
i know your all going to call me a liar but i'm not. well, my freind is 12 and has had sex 13 times with the same person. here's the story...when she was 10 she was dating a 14 year old guy, their parents met and got married, then they were dating other people since they had become step siblings, then they wanted to be together so they had sex, just rcently she got pregnant and had an abortion all from her step brother. then a few days a go she gave head to and 18 year old!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i think it's rediculous! but she loves him and when she turns 16 her parents are signing something so they can move into an apartment together! she calls him her "husband!" i think it's real slutty. what should i say when she brings it up around me? (link)
| |
Your friend is TWELVE?! Well, the situation is (in my opinion) WAY out of hand here. She obviously isn't ready for this sort of thing and yet she's going out and doing it anyway. Does she know that abortions can damage you for your entire life and prevent you from having babies in the future? She doesn't know what love is by the sounds of it. When she brings it up around you, just say you don't want to be a part of it. Be honest with her. If she's a true friend she'll listen to what you'll have to say.
|
Is it healthy for a guy to want to have sex like 3/4 times a day? Is there a healthy average amount for a couple to do...both aged 37?
Just curious. He says I don't fulfill his needs. (link)
|
I think it depends. Everyone's different, so wanting sex 3/4 times a day for one person might be normal, where as twice a week may be satisfying enough for another. I do think that 3/4 times a DAY is a bit excessive though.
If he says you don't fulfill his needs, you need to talk to him about what you can do. You also need to tell him what HE can do for YOU. don't let him be satisfied and not give you satisfaction in return. Hope all works out x
|
|
i'm a 16 yr old wo has been bullied for 9 nine years. Mostly fopr the pure reason of my apperance. I live in a family of five in a one parent family. I arn't the kind of kid to ask for everything maybe coz i no we cart afford it. At school i have at least 90 kids bullying me about my appearance and teaseing me. We i started igh school i had a group of friends but now the popular person in the group lost a bit of weight and turned into a bitch saying i could never get that size because im a size 16. Sjhe is aware i am being bullied. Now i have no friends at school cart go to half my lessons coz its so bad. I arn't jelsous of them i just no why people say be proud to be different if ppl just bully u. Ive been to the doctors about depresstion and the school nurse. A man who deals with suidal people sat in on one of out conversations but i guess i wasnt that important. I cart look ppl in the eyes anymore i have so much pain in my heart and feel so unhappy for something i cart change. I no the bullying wont stop but i just want to no why i souldf be the one feeling lonely upset and made to feel different coz i have ginger hair and dont wear adidas. (link)
|
Hey
I was bullied right up until I left school for college, because I always get good grades and study hard, and also because I'm overweight. People used to poke fun at me all the time, so I know what this feels like. The difference is, I didn't let them get me down. I stood up for myself. If someone starts teasing you, just walk past like you didn't hear them. Listen to music while you walk into school if you want to ignore them. One of the popular girls in my classes always used to pick fun of me because I have a particularly distinctive laugh; and now she's working down at macdonalds serving burgers while i'm studying psychology at college. Size 16 is the average size for women, so DO NOT think that you're alone. Tell someone you trust; your parent, an older sibling, a teacher. You SHOULDN'T be the one feeling lonely and upset, and you seem to be realising that. Try not to let them get to you, concentrate your energies into your studies. If you need to talk, just drop me a note.
Oh, and by the way, ginger hair is ADORABLE :)
|
|
I have recently been getting what you could say little moles on my face. They are maybe the size of pinhead but they are starting to annoy me. A couple of them apeared a year or two ago and yesterday I noticed a couple more. Is this normal? Is it something I should see a doctor about or is it something that can be easily treated? Any help is appreciated! (link)
| |
They could be freckles- these will appear if you have been spending large amounts of time in the sun. They could be pimples. They could be something more serious. I'd advise you to see your doctor, as they can give you medication if needed and tell you what's going on :)
|
|
what is a pyro???????????? (link)
| |
I always understood pyro to be a nickname for "pyromaniac", which is someone who has a fascination/addiction/likes doing stupid things with fire.
|
|
Hi, im the guy thats 13 and has a 2.5 inch boner, but now it shrunk to 1 inch, now will u suck it? (link)
| |
No.
|
|
Does it hurt to get your ears pierced or your nose or your cartilige or whatever????? (link)
| |
I have my ears pierced twice and both cartiladges too. They don't hurt as long as you don't catch them on anything while they're healing, and as long as you take care of them. I had 2 cartilidge piercinge in my right ear and one in my left, and the lower one in my right went septic and it was SO PAINFUL. Just remember to follow the piercer's instructions on cleaning.
|
I have an.. well interesting sister. She is 4 years older than I am and I am nearly 18. My sister and I both live at home still. My sister acts as if her life is the most important life on the face of the earth, and she treats everyone around her like a lesser being. Sometimes I just want to physically hurt her because words just never get through to her, that is, if you can words out at all. She never lets people speak, especially when she is angry. She blames her problems on everyone else in my family, especially my mother and I'm starting to believe my sister is really breaking my moms heart to pieces. Her actions and words hurt all of my immediate family and it is so extremely peaceful and quiet when she is at work.
The thing that bothers me the most is that she always claims that her life is so much worse than everyone else's, no matter what they are enduring, she refuses to offer support, instead she will explain how much more difficult it is to be her. I can't stand being around her because she always insults me, she claims that she is just being honest when clearly - she is just being rude.
I had hoped she would be moving out soon but she enrolled in school again and so she will be staying at home for at least another 2 years. Its madness and I simply can't be around her.
When I have tried to explain how I feel and how badly she treats us she refuses to let me finish and assumes I am attacking her and she responds with attacks of her own. She always tells us how horrible it is to have a family like ours and how no one cares about her and how she wishes she could leave.
I have tried to tolerate her disgusting attitude and no one outside my family can understand my grief over this issue because my sister changes her entire self when she is around anyone other than our immediate family - she is suddenly nice. Therefore, no one else understands.
My question to advicenators is this - is there anything that I can say to my sister that will make her realize how bad she is hurting our family or do we all need to simply tough it out for the next few years until she moves out on her own?
However, even if we do tolerate her, I don't ever want to simply sever ties with my own sister - I want her to care about us and love us - I want her to be a friend to me. Not someone that hates us and supposedly makes her life horrible. (link)
| |
If I am really stressed out, I will snap at my family because they're the people who are closest. But perhaps there's a more deep rooted problem here. Maybe your sister is suffering from depression - have there been any big changes in her life recently? This is a tricky problem because she won't let you talk to her. Perhaps you can send her an email, or write her a note telling her exactly how you're feeling, from your point of view, and that you're worried about her behaviour and what it's doing to your family. I think you can make her realise and cope with it too- she's still family, after all, and she needs to be told but needs your support as well. She probably DOES care about you deep down, but as i said, maybe there's something more to it than it seems. Good luck, hope all works out x
|
For the second time in my life, I am dating a virgin. The last time I blew it by letting my sex drive push me to push him away. I need help on how to not get so bent out of shape about not having sex.
I have "toys". I use them. I pleasure myself often. I still want to have sex. Now, I am dreaming about my ex. I hate it. I hate my ex. Even if I met up with ex, it would only be for sex and undermine all the relationship I have been building with my current boyfriend.
I love him so much it hurts. I hope that he will propose to me next year, but I am becoming meaner and meaner. I try to pet myself with shopping or other pampering. I enjoy crosstitching and stuff. I need another clue. (link)
| |
Dating a virgin isn't much different to dating someone who isn't -- you just have to take it slow. I wouldn't jump into bed with someone i liked after only a little while of dating them, virgin or not. You MUST talk to him about this. Ask him if he's secure enough to take the next step. Tell him you love him. If you don't tell him he's not going to know why you're becoming meaner. Whatever you do, DO NOT go back to your ex.
|
i have this friend... let's call him Duckie. well he recently began to date my other friend, (we'll just call her Juicyfruit). as foolish as it sounds, i would do anything to make someone else happy. and so i helped them set things straight and get going on a healthy relationship. but Duckie is my best guy friend in the whole world and i hug him every day when i see him between classes.
Juicyfruit is a jealous girl. she sent her other friend to set some "ground rules" for me. it was stated that i am not allowed to hug Duckie anymore unless Juicyfruit gives her consent. so i did what i thought was right and i confronted her. she said that she was sorry for losing her temper, and just to forget that she even cared about the hugging thing. in other words, she was pissed.
Juicyfruit is a sort of a player and Duckie might be able to make her stick with him so she can actually feel love. and jealousy would interfere with their own joy. i wrote a letter to Duckie telling him he was not to hug me, speak to me, or even look at me because i only cause trouble.
so i did what probably makes them happy. but after losing my best friend and having Juicyfruit's popular little friends look down on me with scorn, what do i do when i have made two people happy... but I'M not in the same bliss?
someone help me. i don't want to be selfish. all i ever wanted to do was make people happy. but i'm too STUPID to know if this has gone too far. (link)
|
Honey, this has gone WAY too far.
Your friend 'Duckie' sounds like an AWESOME guy, and I think if he knew how you were feeling, he'd go skitz. What did he say when you wrote the letter to him? I think firstly you need to arrange it so you can talk to 'Duckie', tell him what's been going on, tell him how 'Juicyfruit' sent one of her cronies round to tell you some groundrules. I mean, what the hell is that anyway? This girl CAN NOT CONTROL YOUR FRIENDSHIP. She didn't even see you herself, what does that say about her? If this girl is jealous about you hugging Duckie, then it shows just how insecure and stupid she really is. They can't have a very strong relationship if she's worried about it.
If you don't want to loose Duckie (and i'm trying to think about this problem in terms of my best guy-friend, and i certainly would wanna hold on to him) you're gonna have to talk to him. He sounds like the kind of guy who would try to understand, who would give you the chance to explain.
As for 'Juicyfruit', for goodness sakes ignore her popular little friends. Who cares what they think? This is between you, your friend and his girlfriend, not you three and the rest of the planet. I think you probably need to talk to Duckie first, before you can talk to her.
I really hope this works out for you, love, because it sounds like you're a really nice person and Duckie would be heartbroken to loose you as a friend. Good luck x
|
have question.
Is it wrong to expect a B-day party?
I am not someone that is selfish or anything of the sort but I dont know. on tuesday i will be turning 14 and i won't even be getting a cake let alone gifts. now my mother is poor and we don't have alot of money so this is the reason im feeling selfish thinking this. i have a cousin that turned 8 today and the had this HUGE bash infact they have had a big bash everyyear of her life but its like im to "OLD" now and no one thinks of me. i feel like im being selfish but yet i really would like to have something to look back on. turning 14 is something big for me cause turning 14 means being "more" of an adult now. another thing that is this i big to me is because i have never had a b=day party in my life. yeah if you count my aunt, grandmother, and 1 of my 2 sisters. my mom says oh, just wait till your sweet sixteen. yeah well she told me that when i turned 12 that i could have a big party when i turn 13 or 14, well i just feel like a big baby that wants gifts. i don't even care about the gifts its just that i feel as if no one even thinks about me. i just would like to have one day to myself for me instead always being the one everyone turns to. i have had 1 person send me a b-day card. i know i sound like a big selfish baby but i guess i need some advice.
sincerely
B-day party blues (link)
| |
In my opinion, it is a little selfish to EXPECT a birthday party, especially if you dont have a lot of money. I NEVER had a birthday party in my life, and i'm eighteen years old. Besides, often it's much more fun to have something intimate with your friends and family than a raging party. Talk to your mum, see if you can come to a compramise.
|
|
There is this boy in school that I live.He loves me back,but here's the problem.There is another girl in school he loves(she loves him back,too).Even though he said he loves me more,I am still worried that he will dump me 4 her.What do i do?I can't help but 2 love him!! (link)
| |
If he loves two girls at once then he doesn't know what love is, and isn't ready for any sort of serious relationship. Get rid of him.
|
|
I'm gay, is that bad? (link)
| |
No! Not at all! People aren't defined by their sexuality. Don't ever feel that being gay is bad, because it's not :)
|
Hey,
I am a 16 year old female.Thank you for taking your time to actually read my question.Now My question is that, I have a boyfriend that I am really into but a couple days ago I was around an ex-boyfriend and friends and we kissed.Now I feel as though since I really like my boyfriend that i should tell him what i did but.The problem is I don't know what to say. I really want to be with him but I'm scared that maybe if I tell him that though the kiss ment nothing he will think I still have feelings with my ex and we will break up.I have had thoughts of not telling him but then I will feel guilty and it might be a way that he find out from someone else.Oh my goodness I need help on what to say Please help me!
Thank you,
AppleBottom** (link)
|
Hey,
I can't see much of a way out of this one, except for you to tell your boyfriend what you did. I think he'd probably rather hear the truth from you than hear a nasty rumor from someone else-particularly from your ex. Good luck x
|
|
i have dis friend dat likes dis otha friend but i waz talkin 2 d phone wit dis friens which it a boy n he waz z lyk sweet talkin me n said he is no worrin bout m otha friend so y d next day he was like i like ya otha friend dat kinda hurt me cuz on d phone he was like we sound like a couple and ya betta gurl den ya otha friend so dat reallu hurt me what should i say 2 dis friend dat is a boy without him tellin all his friendz wha i told him!!!!!!!!!!!!???????????????? (link)
| |
Please rephrase your question, i am having trouble understanding it.
|
i went to camp with this guy and i slowely fell in love with him. i liked him for three years and now we rarely talk anymore. im not sure if i like him in a crush way, i like him more as a brother. but the other day his brother told me that he hates me because i talk to him too much. i really want to be friends with him, and now i just dont know what to do. i miss us talking. i dont want to go up to him and start randomly talking, i'd look like an idiot.what should i do???
(link)
| |
I think you should cool off for a minute, and give yourself some space to think about what you really feel for this guy, and what his friendship means to you. I also don't think that you should listen to what other people say about this guy; i know his brother said he hates you (which, to be honest, i doubt), but you can't be sure until you hear it from HIM instead of his little brother. Write him a note if you can't talk to him, and then you'll see HIS reaction rather than something his brother said to you. Good luck x
|
|