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I HATE HER!!
Hi, I'm "Joanna" and my two best friends "Martina and Danielle" have been friends since 4th grade(we're now in sixth). But since the beginning of this year, Martina has left me and Danielle behind. She never talks to us, and we haven't made any friendly contact with her for ages. But now her and her (new) idiotic friend "Lorey" have been kinda harassing me. They've called my house before, saying they were Danielle but I knew better and wouldn't talk. I've had skittles thrown at me. Her and her new cooler friends were sitting at a table next to us one day at lunch, and they kept pointing and whispering about who knows what. I try to just ignore them, but it doesn't seem to work at all! What do I do?!
Hating change,
Joanna
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
i know how you feel.
just don't act like she is yuor friend anymore. Then, pretend like it bother you when she does stuff to you. if that doesn't work, just tell a teacher. I know that may be so preschool, but try it. or, you can call her one night at her house, and tell her how you feel while she is with no one. and this one may seem mean, but maybe blackmail her?????
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Popularity is often a HUGE temptation for people while they're still in school -- but believe me, it's a huge farce. No one in the real world gives a damn whether you were "popular" or "geeky" in school, so your friend "martina" and her new popular friends will fall face-first back down to earth, sooner hopefully rather than later.
As for her leaving you and Danielle, it seems that perhaps this may have been a good thing. When you're growing up, you often branch out to find new friends and new groups, and Martina doesn't sound too genuine to me. These girls are stupid, immature bullies who just want to feel empowered by throwing things at you and pointing and whispering. Don't let it get to you. Stay with Danielle, ignore their calls (if you know it's them, just put the phone down before they say anything), try to ignore their whispering, and avoid them all together if you can. They WILL get bored, because they're trying to get a reaction out of you, they're waiting till you turn around and say something to them. I know it's hard, hun, cos i've done my school years. Just be safe in the knowledge that they're sad little girls with no lives, and obviously don't know how to act like normal human beings.
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The best thing to do, of course, is to keep ignoring it. A person who will treat an old friend like that doesn't deserve attention.
If you want to take a more active approach, though, you should talk to Martina and tell her that this is bothering you. I wouldn't do it while Lorey is around, and I wouldn't do it over e-mail (she might just forward it to Lorey). If you want to call her at home, or if you happen to catch up with her while she's alone, just ask her, as calmly as you possibly can, what's going on, and why she's been acting like this, because it doesn't make sense to you. You can say that you realize you guys aren't close anymore, and that's just the way things go, but you've never done anything mean to her and you'd appreciate being treated with the same respect.
Maybe she actually does have some reason for being mad at you that you don't realize, and maybe she'll tell you. Or maybe she'll feel ashamed of the way she's been acting, and change. Or maybe she'll just be nasty about it (you have to be prepared for that possibility). But whatever happens, be strong and proud of yourself -- she's the one who should feel uncomfortable, not you.
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Unfortantally people chage as they get older, especially at this age. You are learning so many things and changing your ideals everyday. Some of my best friends in grade school I never said a word to in high school. We just went are seperate ways. Your friend is changing who she is and doesn't connect with you anymore. It's sad though that she can't at least be nice.
My best advice is to hold your head up high and keep ignoring them. Don't let them see that they are getting to you, the harassing should hopefuly die down. And make some new friends to show her that you have moved on. Stay positive!
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