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i have this friend... let's call him Duckie. well he recently began to date my other friend, (we'll just call her Juicyfruit). as foolish as it sounds, i would do anything to make someone else happy. and so i helped them set things straight and get going on a healthy relationship. but Duckie is my best guy friend in the whole world and i hug him every day when i see him between classes.
Juicyfruit is a jealous girl. she sent her other friend to set some "ground rules" for me. it was stated that i am not allowed to hug Duckie anymore unless Juicyfruit gives her consent. so i did what i thought was right and i confronted her. she said that she was sorry for losing her temper, and just to forget that she even cared about the hugging thing. in other words, she was pissed.
Juicyfruit is a sort of a player and Duckie might be able to make her stick with him so she can actually feel love. and jealousy would interfere with their own joy. i wrote a letter to Duckie telling him he was not to hug me, speak to me, or even look at me because i only cause trouble.
so i did what probably makes them happy. but after losing my best friend and having Juicyfruit's popular little friends look down on me with scorn, what do i do when i have made two people happy... but I'M not in the same bliss?
someone help me. i don't want to be selfish. all i ever wanted to do was make people happy. but i'm too STUPID to know if this has gone too far.
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
you should sit down with both of them and tell them how you feel. and if that doesn't work, just get a new friend. if that sounds a little harsh for you, try this. Someone TOLD you that you can't hug him.she never really threatend you. unless she really did. but that's just me!
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Try to reach an agreement between you and Juicyfruit about your friend Duckie. She may just be frightened that you are trying to steal him away from her. Make sure that she knows your true feelings toward Duckie and maybe she will better understand your intentions. Don't lose touch with Duckie just because Juicyfruit tells you that you can't see him anymore. No one should tell you who can and can't be friends with. Just make sure that next time you're with him that you don't act flirty or anything that would make it seem like you're trying to steal Juicyfruit's boyfriend.
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Good grief what is wrong with a hug. Juicyfruit is a self-centered brat. You shouldn't lose a friend just because they are in a relationship. Its a hard balance to keep friends and girlfriends happy.
I commend you for talking to her face to face. You obviously have a lot more class than she does. Juicy will be gone before you know it if she is indeed this annoying. I am not sure you really made them happy. She has to learn to deal with other people.
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I can understand your wanting to make people happy but your first concern should be your own happiness. I'm not saying be selfish and put others down or anything but if you are happy chancs are it will make the people happy around you.
Does Duckie know ou feel this way? Sounds like you two are really good friends. You should be able to tell him exactly how you feel without ruining anything.
Juicyfruit doesn't sound like that great of a person to me but then again I don't really know her.
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What does Duckie say about all of this?? If he is one of you best friends talk to him. Is he willing to give up your friendship for this girl? Just because he is dating another girl dosn't mean your friendship should completely change. If hugging eachother was a normal thing before, why isn't it now? This is something duckie needs to work out with his girlfriend. He shouldn't have to change for her. Don't let this girl ruin your friendship.
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To be honset it sounds like Duckie is far more suted to you that this other girl. She is the one being stupid for getting jealous over a simple little hug. Maybe you should try talking to duckie about how you feel, and maybe he could reach some form of comprimise with JuicyFruit.
Its doesn't even sound like you are that greater mates with this JuicyFruit. You shouldn't allow her to have so much control over you. I say, go hug your man-mate, and don't feel bad about it. You are deserving of his platonic affections just as much as she :)
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Honey, this has gone WAY too far.
Your friend 'Duckie' sounds like an AWESOME guy, and I think if he knew how you were feeling, he'd go skitz. What did he say when you wrote the letter to him? I think firstly you need to arrange it so you can talk to 'Duckie', tell him what's been going on, tell him how 'Juicyfruit' sent one of her cronies round to tell you some groundrules. I mean, what the hell is that anyway? This girl CAN NOT CONTROL YOUR FRIENDSHIP. She didn't even see you herself, what does that say about her? If this girl is jealous about you hugging Duckie, then it shows just how insecure and stupid she really is. They can't have a very strong relationship if she's worried about it.
If you don't want to loose Duckie (and i'm trying to think about this problem in terms of my best guy-friend, and i certainly would wanna hold on to him) you're gonna have to talk to him. He sounds like the kind of guy who would try to understand, who would give you the chance to explain.
As for 'Juicyfruit', for goodness sakes ignore her popular little friends. Who cares what they think? This is between you, your friend and his girlfriend, not you three and the rest of the planet. I think you probably need to talk to Duckie first, before you can talk to her.
I really hope this works out for you, love, because it sounds like you're a really nice person and Duckie would be heartbroken to loose you as a friend. Good luck x
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You aren't stupid...maybe. It's good to try and help people, it's all I ever try to do. Yet it would seem that 'Juicyfruit' (you put me the mood for a stick now) might have overstepped her pyschotic non-existent bounds here. Hugging is a perfectly fine expression of friendship, I hug my friends, even of the same gender. I'd say 'Juicyfruit' is psycho, but now to actual advice:
'Juicyfruit' (I really want some now...) seems the kind of person to not give a crap about her boyfriend and one lost won't make a dif., she'll just find another later. People like her are pert of the reason I don't believe in dating during high school, and if you're in college (I need specification people!) she'll still bounce back. If 'Juicyfruit' gets jealous about you hugging 'Duckie', too bloody bad! You need to tell her hugging is absolutely fine and it is illogical to get upset about such a stupid thing. I wish I were there, I feel kind of useless just saying how I feel. Hopefully you can interpret this into a solution. 'Juicyfruit' has gone to far, and sometimes making people happy might involve temporary unhappiness. And now, I'm off to buy some Juicyfruit...
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