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B-day party blues
have question.
Is it wrong to expect a B-day party?
I am not someone that is selfish or anything of the sort but I dont know. on tuesday i will be turning 14 and i won't even be getting a cake let alone gifts. now my mother is poor and we don't have alot of money so this is the reason im feeling selfish thinking this. i have a cousin that turned 8 today and the had this HUGE bash infact they have had a big bash everyyear of her life but its like im to "OLD" now and no one thinks of me. i feel like im being selfish but yet i really would like to have something to look back on. turning 14 is something big for me cause turning 14 means being "more" of an adult now. another thing that is this i big to me is because i have never had a b=day party in my life. yeah if you count my aunt, grandmother, and 1 of my 2 sisters. my mom says oh, just wait till your sweet sixteen. yeah well she told me that when i turned 12 that i could have a big party when i turn 13 or 14, well i just feel like a big baby that wants gifts. i don't even care about the gifts its just that i feel as if no one even thinks about me. i just would like to have one day to myself for me instead always being the one everyone turns to. i have had 1 person send me a b-day card. i know i sound like a big selfish baby but i guess i need some advice.
sincerely
B-day party blues
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Don't worry about it. Even though birthday parties are fun and all, you'll get jaded by most of the presents and party activities. Just be sure to have fun with your friends and you will have a great birthday party no matter what kind of presents or cake it's lacking.
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Nope because on your special day you should expect the most out of it.No matter what limit it is.On your day your limitations can never exceed the limit.Expecially when it comes to a party.
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My personal opinion is that you shouldn’t ever expect anything. Everyone sooner or later, will expect something. It’s natural. But when it doesn’t happen, we not only feel disappointed but we also feel upset and sad, because it didn’t take place. Expecting something that doesn’t have a chance at happening, can and will lead to disappointment. Birthdays aren’t about presents or gifts, material things such as those don’t matter. Having a birthday, is about spending time with the ones that you love, to celebrate YOUR day. The day that you were born. If presents, a party, and a cake, make that more special to you, then I suggest taking time to think, because it shouldn’t have anything to do with making a birthday more special.
You shouldn’t base your life, by what other people have. Out in this world, there’s people out there that have it easier then you do, and there’s also people out there that have it worse off then you do. Who cares if your cousin had a BIG bash for her birthday, who cares if she has a BIG bash every year until she’s 80 years old. You’re not her, and she’s not you. Don’t expect to receive what she does. Stop wasting your life hoping and praying for something to change, for something to take place. Stop wasting your life wishing and hoping that you were someone else, and that your mom was able to afford certain things. We’re all dealt a hand of cards, it may not be the best hand in the world, it could possibly be the worst hand that anyone could ever expect. We can’t just throw down our hands, give up and say “I can’t do this anymore, I’m not doing this anymore, It’s so unfair this person has that, and that person has this.” We suck it up, and we play our hand the best way that we know possible, knowing that one day things will get better but yet realizing that things get worse before they get better.
My birthday is also tomorrow. I’ll be 18 years old. I’m not getting a cake, I’m not getting a party and I’m most definitely not getting any gifts. Why? Because my mom lost her job, and I know that she can’t afford it. So, instead for a change. I’m taking her out to dinner. I’m going to treat her to something, that she’s deserved for a long time. She’s taken care of me, for 18 years. She’s been there through the good times and the bad times. She’s kept food on the table, she’s kept a roof over my head, she’s made sure that she paid the bills, so we would have running water, heat and electricity. That right there, is something to be thankful for. There’s thousands of people out in this world, that don’t have what many of us Americans take for granted, such as; Running water, a warm bed, food on the table, shoes, clothes to wear, shoes, etc. You may not have the richest mom in the world, you may have a mother that struggles to make ends meet at the end of the month. BUT! If you have a mother of whom loves you and cares about you deeply, well then girl, you’ve got it made.
Tomorrow is your day, but don’t be to short-changed and to self-absorbed to give your mom a pat on the back and to give her a big ol’ thanks for taking care of you for all these years. She may not be able to give you name brand-clothing, she may not be able to swamp you with gifts, or all the nice fancy and cool things that you want, but what she can give you, is love. Be proud of who you are, where you come from, and your home-life, after all it helps build us into who we are. You’re just going to be fourteen years old, in a few years you’ll be able to get a job and help yourself out as well as your mom, things may be different then. But for right now, learn a lesson that some of us don’t learn until we grow older, if we ever learn it at all. That lesson is, that love is the best gift that anyone could ever receive.
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I understand completely. Last year I had two "parties". The first I spent with my two best friends, just playing Clue and eating mostaciolli. The second (about 2 days after) I spent in my basement, listening to Deja Vu by CSNY and crying for the loss of something great because of the first party. I don't really count these. That same summer my brother had two parties, one a birthday, one a graduation. And me being top of my class last year in middle school and holding down my first job went unrecognized in the ferver. I never ask for anything, yet people tend to throw how "self-centered" I am at me. Though I spend my weekends in church teaching pre-schoolers and I sacrifice my after school time to conduct a children's bell choir. I understand what one day to yourself means if you don't have it. Ask your mom if you could invite over one or two friends, maybe make a pie and watch some movies. It's small but it's a start. And it's way more fun than any big bash.
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Hmmm, you say you feel like you're sounding selfish. That's probably because you are. you state that your mother is "poor", yet you want her to spend money she doesn't have to give you something you don't really need. I didn't hear you say that you were hungry so I guess she feeds you. i didn't hear you state that you were cold, so I guess you have a roof over your head. See where I'm going with this? Thought so. And, once again on your mom's side, the "sweet sixteen" IS the ultimate of parties. You say you're more of an adult now...show your mom some appreciation and start to act like it. I bet people think of you all the time, just not in the way YOU want them to. Take some time to look around and really SEE what people do for you. I bet you'll be amazed. happy Birthday.
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If you really want a party, why don't you just throw one for yourself. Bake a cake, and invite a few friends over. If you are worried about paying for food, have everyone bring their favorite snack to share. Play some games, watch some movies. Just have some fun.
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I don't think you are too old for a party, you are never too old for a party, its just that the type of party changes.
Maybe you are being a little selfish in just 'expecting' one, especially if your family is poor, but I don't think its selfish to expect someone to pay you notice, or show that they care. That is a human need. *hug*
You could always have a DIY party: go to a diner or something and invite your closest mates. Buy yourself a bunch of party hats and wazzos [they are those things that make funny noises] and at the end of the meal get a big cake and all eat it together. Just being with your mates I would have thought was the best present you can get :)
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In my opinion, it is a little selfish to EXPECT a birthday party, especially if you dont have a lot of money. I NEVER had a birthday party in my life, and i'm eighteen years old. Besides, often it's much more fun to have something intimate with your friends and family than a raging party. Talk to your mum, see if you can come to a compramise.
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