|
| |
Yesterday, I went to the mall with my Mom. I found a really cute skirt, and a top. When I tried it on, my mom insisted that "they were too tight." This happens ALL the time when we go shopping. Every time I try something on, my mom says, "No, its too tight" or "I think you need a bigger size," when I really don't. Something could fit just fine, and she would still insist that it is too small.
So the other day, I started crying, because she never likes ANYTHING that I try on. Then she asked me what was wrong, and I said, "Apparently I'm fat!" And she goes, "Oh no, you're not fat. The clothes just run small."
Mind you, I am a pants size 0, and I weigh 88 pounds. When I was younger, I used to be kind of chubby. I don't know why my mom does this- I'm trying to decide if it's because I really do look fat, or if its because she thinks I look good and doesn't want me to wear tight/revealing clothes. I am very upset, and lately I've been feeling like I don't want to eat. I decided to give up candy, and I fear becoming anorexic. Yet my mom, (who is not thin) continues to encourage me to eat candy.
Should I say something the next time she does this? I am getting really pissed off, and I feel like shouting, "You're just jealous because I'm not fat like you!" at her. (link)
|
What?! Isn't size 0 supposed to be thin? I dunno bout the way size is measured in your country cos over here they go by S,M,L. But from what I know, shouldnt a size 0 be very small?
You're thin and you know it. I doubt your mum thinks you're fat. And NO, you shouldn't be telling your mum that you're not fat like her. That's just plain mean cos I really see no evil intention coming from her.
Parents are always wanting their kids to wear looser clothes, I dunno why, but prolly it's cos they dun wan you to feel uncomfortable in tight clothes or they're just being protective bout you showing your body. I think you're thinking too much. She offers you candies just because she wants to share them with you, it has nothing to do with her wanting to make you fat. That's really out of the point.
You are of such a small size , how can you ever be fat? I seriously dun think your mum is jealous of you. I dun feel any evil vibes enamating from your mum.
She's your mum, my dear girl, she's not some messed up psycho. She wants the best for you : eg. she wants you to feel comfortable in your clothes, and she wants you to enjoy nice little things like sweets and chocolates. Hell I'd give anything for a nice mum like that.
|
hi clara!
im still in school and i need to use the bathroom a lot. my mom took me to a doc and she said i have a small bladder. it upsets me a lot so i wear pads when im going out with friends so i dont have to run to the bathroom all the time or embarass myself. but im still experimenting with pads and don\'t know how they all work. i saw you said to someone you have the same prob so i want to know what brand of pads you use and work best because im having trouble finding one. please help me :(
kel (link)
|
Hi Kel, if you were to read my answer carefully, I have the problem of peeing when I laugh, but I don't have the problem of a small bladder. So if you read my answer to that question carefully, I didnt recommend the use of pads for such occassions because it'd be very heavy with pee at the end of the day.
Pads don't solve my problem. I solve my problem psychologically and not physically. I dun think peeing into your pad is a good idea because
1)It's unhygenic
2)Pads are meant for collecting something which is more viscous and thick. Pee is just too wet and fluid to be contained by a pad.
Did your doctor prescribe you with any medication for your problem? It's alright if you use the bathroom a lot. It's alright to run to the bathroom a lot cos sometimes I do that too. My frens laugh and make fun of me bcos they're amused by the fact that I'm normal and yet I can pee so often within a day. In fact, I pee so often because I dun like the feeling of feeling urgent or controlling my pee. I can make myself pee. I can actually choose to pee or not to pee. I know, wierd.
But anyway, as for your case, your friends, (being your friends) will not be amused by you and in fact, they will be more understanding towards your problem. It's nothing embarrassing. When you told me that you're embarrassed by this problem, it just struck me as really lame. I dun mind having a fren who pees often, bcos I accept them for the way they are. And that's what your friends will do for you. If your friends find this behaviour of yours embarrasing then i guess you know what to do.
Let me tell you something, pads don't work at all in containing your urine. If you had a friend who had the same problem as you, you would be accomodating towards her, won't you?
Ok if you really wanna know what brand I use, I use laurier or kotex. I'm not particulary picky bout the brand. But I go for overnight, long pads with wings so that I would'nt stain my pants. But let me make it clear that I do not use pads to solve my problem.
Girl, don't be bothered bout this problem, it's really not something that should stress you out socially.
I know I didnt answer your qn, but I really hope I've helped you. Do message me if you need more help. I'll be here for you.
-------------------------------------------------
Yes sure of cos you can message me here.
|
|
what does"grass is greener on the other side" means? (link)
|
It means you always think that what you have is bad and what you dun have is good.
E.g. You are single and you envy those who are married. While those who are married, envy those who are single.
You belong to one side of the field while that married person belongs to the other side of the field. So you keep thinking that its better over at the other side (i.e the grass is greener on the other side from your pt of view) while that married person keeps thinking that its better over at your side (i.e. the grass is greener on the other side from their point of view)
Therefore, the grass is always greener on the other side but yellowish on your own side. Get it?
|
|
OK, onne of my closest bffl's is getting on my last nerves. She's always saying that she is getting more guys than me. GRRRRR, its driving me nuts. Just because she has a bigger chest than I do and atracts older guys, doesnt mean she gets more guys than i do, right? I dont know, all i know is that im tired of her always bragging. If she wants to act like a slut and bitch , fine. But what should I do about the problem. I DONT KNOW IF I CAN TAKE ANYMORE. Can someone PLEASE help me?!?!?!?!?! (link)
|
I used to have a friend like this and it sucks. She keeps telling me my head's too big, my taste sucks, only fat ugly guys will like me, I look like a nerd, bla bla bla. Pshht. *shut up man*
If she starts saying tt again, tell her off. "yea but you attract old man while all the cute guys come to me." Don't show her your anger or she'll take it as jealousy. Seriously, just ignore her or say "tsk" and frown at her with irritation. What she craves for is attention; so dun give it to her. When she starts on this topic, answer her with one-word only or dun answer at all.
Or you can tell her things like "Ok so what do you want me to do? You're not exactly gonna win my admiration with tt kind of talk you know."
Everytime a girl does that to me, I'd just think she's actually insecure. She needs to voice out what she wants people to think of her. When we're confident bout certain aspects of ourselves, I doubt we'll brag bout it unless we feel that it's at stake. So in actual fact, she could be feeling inferior to you.
|
16/f
i have always had a hot temper but it used to take ALOT to make me let it out, and when i did i would mostly just yell then go up to my room and lay down away from everybody until it went down
But lately the smallest things absolutely ruin my day. when i lose my temper which is a daily thing now, i cannot say anything otherwise my dad who's temper is byfar the worst i have ever seen will flare. so i twist and pinch my arm while he yells at me. i then go to my room and throw things, punch my pillows and walls, scream as loud as i can into my pillows and trash my room. when im tired i cry for hours. the rest of the day i cannot talk to anybody. just the voice of somebody who wants to talk to me makes me feel angry all over again. I wake up everyday in such a good mood but my temper always seems to take the day away from me.
how can i control my temper? it's ruining my life (link)
|
I used to be like you. In fact, I think up till now, remnants of bad-temperedness still lingers in my blood.
Ask yourself, why are you so angry at everything? By getting angry, you're not solving any problems are you? You are only creating more problems for yourself. Like you see now, your bad-temperedness has led to your parents yelling at you and you getting more and more irritable. When you lose your temper, everyone's gonna think that you're an unreasonable little brat who can't manage your life.
When someone pisses you off, you tell yourself "hold it, hold it, cool it, think: Am I at fault in the first place? If I am, then I have no right to get angry. Tell yourself that you accept the way you are; and tell yourself that it's not that everyone hates you; Tell yourself that your family members have their reasons/difficulties for being mad at you, just like you will always have a reason for being mad with other people.
If they accuse you, then you reason it out firmly with them. With reason/evidence as your back up, no one can say anything against you. Getting mad gets you nowhere and it prevents you from being rational and level-headed.
If they still continue to yell at you despite you reasoning things out with them, then leave it. You know that you're not in the wrong and that's all that matters. If they wanna continue yelling, let them; you just walk away and you tell yourself that you're being the better person by taking things in your stride. No need to engage in endless quarrels and fights with them. Cos you've alr won: You've done your part in explaining yourself and you've done a good job of not flaring up.
So before you flare up, tell yourself to "hold it", don't get fired up cos you'd go off track from there onwards. Steady yourself. Come on, don't pinch and hurt yourself man.
Talk to people nicely first. If you want others to respect you, you've gotta earn it first by respecting them.
It takes time to control bad-temperedness, but don't give up. I promise you that by keeping your temper in check, you'd find that life is not that bad afterall.
------------------------------------------------
To Stephigiles : First up, I didnt say to hold your anger in. I'm telling her to control it. I'm telling her to reason it out and not flare up.
Everyone's entitled to their own opinion on this. There's no right or wrong. If you disagree with this, it's none of my business and it's rude to point people out like that.
Besides, you're suppose to give advice and not make judgements. We dun need a judge to tell us who's right and who's wrong. So where the hell is your advice?
|
|
Mmkay. 15/f So my boyfriend and I have been going out for like... since september. We're really close because of what we've been through before our relationship. But now we've both noticed we're drifting apart. When we talk, there isn't much to talk about so we barely talk. Maybe even not speaking to each other for days. Yesterday we talked about all this. What we should do about our relationship and stuff. We both understand why we don't and why we do. He says he'll be happy as long as I'm happy, so I have the final say about ths whole thing. Should I break up or not? (link)
|
Actually, I think most relationships will go thru such a phase. At some point in their relationship, most of my frens tell me that they and their bf have nothing to tell each other anymore, and tt they're fearful bout having to break up. But after some time, they'll tell me that they're back to normal and everything's fine and dandy again.
I think such things do happen between frens too. Sometimes there's nothing to say, while other times we're just bursting to tell each other things. I would say continue with the relationship and see how it goes. Try to bring things up to talk bout. And if at the end of the day, despite all the trying, things still dun work out, you at least know that you've tried.
Don't stress bout having nothing to talk bout. Talk bout your day, what kind of peoeple you've met, any wierdos, idiots, admirable, enviable people watever just bring it out and talk bout it. Even though sometimes it can get really silent between the two of you, there is still something called companiable silence, where both of you aren't talking but you two just feel comfortable around each other without having to say anything.
|
okay... does everyone on this site just answer the
questions that appear on the rightside? cause those are
the only questions i answer... & rarely do i get a
question in my inbox. i realized that most people on
advicenators dont have that many ratings when the
number of answers is a lot more... am i missing
something here? or is it just that i have a lot more
spare time & can go on the site & answer lots of new
questions from other users?
- thankss ♥ (link)
|
No, I'd normally go to the left side and click on "view questions" and pick qns to answer from there. I only click on the qns on the right unless I see some interesting heading that grabs my attention.
There are loads of other qns to answer other than those on the right. Those on the right were highlighted cos they have insufficient answers.
Yes, it's true that lots of people have ratings that doesn't tally with the number of answered qns. Just go check out other links on this website, esp on the left column, and you won't miss out on anything.
|
My boyfriend kissed another girl. What should I do?
It wasn't a french kiss and it was on the lips.
The thing is, my friend saw this. He was at karate with one of his classmates.
And I think my friend isn't lying because she told me the ADDRESS of the building and the time he was there. I know the karate place and I know what time he goes. And my friend doesn't go to his school so it's not like they talk about what time he goes there and where. We all hung out like 2 times [movies] so no conversation, basically.
My boyfriend didn't tell me anything though..
So i'm not sure how to go about this..
My friend isn't known to be a liar. But I don't know about my boyfriend. :/
(link)
|
I'd ask him calmly. Don't confront him. Things could turn ugly. Ask him, say that you (instead of your friend, so that he can't deny and say tt your friend's lying) saw him kissing a girl; and you're giving him a chance to explain himself.
Let him say what he has to say for himself.
|
what are some tips for tanning?
tanning outside, not fake-baking. (link)
|
Definitely sun tan lotion. I use banana boat brand. Have u heard of tt?
Wear a Bikini(duh).
Don't ever wear sunglasses unless you want two white patches around your eyes.
Don't overtan yourself. Lie down and tan for say maybe half an hour; then get up and walk around, drink some water and cool off. Then go back down to tanning for the next half hour. Do it in intervals, dun lie there and bake yourself to death, you'd get a headache. I tend to get headaches if I bask too long in the sun. The best way to tan is actually to swim. You can also play volleyball or read books. Drink lots of water to keep hydrated.
|
|
Can you tell if someones in to you? (link)
|
They keep asking things bout your personal life; who you hang out with, what you like to do, what you do after school.
They'll keep asking who you like, stare at you a lot. Look at you when you do things, etc. They get mad at you sometimes for small things. They smile when you make eye contact or go near them. They talk to you and they try hard to hide their shy smile. They keep touching their hair, adjusting their clothes, scratch their face when they're talking to you.
|
i can't do this anymore.
living and all the crap that goes along with it.
I don't want to live, but I can't bring myself to commit suicide. So i'm stuck in-between life and death. and i hate it. i hate having to be alive. i bet things are so much better when you're dead.
don't ask me what my reasons are, and don't say anything like "oh things will get better" or "don't kill yourself" or anything liek that.
I can't do anything at all.
I can't even get a boyfriend- which is my main reason for wanting to commit suicide. everyone is automatically unattracted to me. I'm not even kidding.
I'm "obese" and i hate it. I can't even help it because I work out every day and I eat the right amount of calories. But i'm still fat and that won't change. it never can. I have a problem.
I'm not a christian- I don't believe in any god and i never will again. i'm not a satanist either. i'm an atheist. (link)
|
Hey whoa. whoa. I don't have a bf right now and it seems like I can never figure out how to get one, but I dun kill myself over it. You should NEVER EVER use a guy to gauge your self worth.
If you're still fat, it doesn't mean that your work outs aren't working out. It could have been that you're obese and have slimmed down but just not enough to get to that slim mark that you want. Be patient.
Obese ----- fat ---- plump ----slim
Weigh yourself every now and then to monitor your progress. Encourage yourself and pat yourself on the back for losing even just 1/2 kg. Girl, it takes time to lose weight, it's not something that can be achieved within a short span of time. The right amount to work out depends on the individual. You prolly need a lot more work out time than the others. SO what? Don't complain bout this. If you want something, don't complain, go GET it. Don't whine and say why is life so unfair to me and why do I need to work out more than others. When you work out, you sweat it out. Draw out an exercise schedule and stick to it.
Stop feeling pitiful for yourself. Other's have it worse off than you. Being fat is not irreversible. Get up and do something. The more you wallow in self pity, the more you're gonna achieve nothing.
GO see a doctor to help you lose weight. Stay away from junk food and replace with delicious alternatives like with low fat milk, yoghurt, vegetables, juicy fruits, cereal bars, healthy snacks such as apply or corn pie. There'a always a lighter side to live. Find it.
Brace yourself. IT takes courage to commit suicide, but it takes even more courage to live on.
|
|
Ok so I'm usually a fairly polite kid to adults (exceopt my parents but w/e) Ne way, my b/f and I have been together for about a year but his mom hates me. She often says harsh things hidden under sweet comments and I know my b/f hears her but never stands up for me. I always want to rebel and say something back but I'm not sure. Is it better to take it and show her I'm a good person? Or talk back and show her I can defend myself? Please help. (link)
|
Yes I would say you should talk back; not in a bad-tempered and glass-breaking way, but in a firm and reasonable way.
If she says something such as "I wouldn't mind if you stay for dinner but I've just cleaned the kitchen dear." Throw back a comment with sacarsm " It's alright, I'm heading home for dinner soon. No one beats my mum's cooking." Toss it back at her. Don't raise your voice. Don't be rude cos once you do any of this, she'll have an extra reason for going against you.
Meanwhile, talk to your bf bout this. Ask him to do something, I mean he's not helping the situation by not doing anything. Tell him to talk to your mum and ask why is she behaving that way, and see if there's any wrong tt you've made or watsoever.
So remain calm and cool. If you can, plan what to say before you meet her so that you are ready to take her on.
Somehow I feel that if you were to say things like " I really don't like the way you're talking to me" , it'd egg her on to be more sarcastic towards you. I maybe wrong, but that's wat I feel might be the case.
If she really goes over the edge, then it's time to say things like "I really don't like the way you're talking..etc.."
But whatever the situation is, always tell yourself to remain calm. Don't get fired up.
|
ok so i have a lot of guy friends. i dunno if they are in love with me .....hehe
and every single mother of those guys hate me. i don't get it. is it cuz i'm a girl or what?
i'm not in love with any of these guys , and i never flirt with them or something like that. we just hang out cuz i get along with guys much better then with girls. (link)
|
It's really hard to make a good guess or come up with a reason as to why they hate you. You didnt elaborate much.
I'm guessing it could be due to your rough behaviour, or the way your talk. They prolly see you as uncouth, thus the hatred. It's the best guess I can make.
|
|
what do you mean by playing "rape"? (link)
| |
Play rape as in you pretend that you are raped by him, to liven things up, You get what i mean?
|
ok. this is super duper embarassing.
i am 16, female. and i pee my pants when i laugh. like kinda bad. when i start laughing, i just lose control of my bladder. and then its soo hard trying to hide the (sometimes) huge wet spot on my pants. (i also wet the bed, but thats only once every 2-3 months so its not a huge problem)
i have tried using the bathroom like every five minutes: doesnt help AT ALL. i have tried thinking of something sad/not funny when i laugh: doesnt help. i have tried concentrating really hard on not peeing: doesnt help.
my social life has been affected by this: there is this girl i met at camp, and we became really good friends, but she lives like an hour away from me, but she has invited my to visit many times. i really want to, BUT SHE IS HILARIOUS!!!! ahhh!! (oh ya btw summer camp was hell for me: it was fun but also funny -> causes wet pants)
please help me. i am willing to do anything but get diapers (i wear tight jeans) and hang out with serious people. like i am actually a really humourous person myself, and it kills me to be scared to laugh. (link)
|
HEY MAN!!! I have the exact same problem as you! I totally get what you mean. Your pee just break out uncontrollably like how your laughter goes right? You keep telling yourself nononono stop peeing but it just comes out like a damn waterfall.
People tell me to go and see a doctor bout it but nah, I think it's not much of a health threat. There was once some of the guys in my gym class monkeyed around and it made me laugh so so so hard that my pee literally drooled down my legs. And the shit part is, I think my teacher saw it.
What I usually do is when I laugh too much and start to feel that I'm gonna pee, I cover my eyes and my ears and totally try to block everyone out. Sometimes, I'd laugh and yell "I'm gonna pee, shut up!" just to account for the way I'm reacting. (don't be afraid to let your friends know, it's alright. My frens all know and they all laugh WITH, not at, me for it) I'd sit down or quickly walk away if I can. I tell myself to cool down. Breathe out and cool it. Don't tell yourself "not to pee" cos you are actually still thinking bout peeing.
Try to focus on something else. Normally I'd try to think of something horrible. Like eg, I think bout my grandpa or some relative raping me or some horrible shit. I know that's depressing but it beats a hell out of wetting your pants right.
Also, shift all your attention to something. Eg when you feel that you're gonna pee, look at an object, say a chair. Focus on it and throw everthing else out of your mind. Look at passerbys, look at the way they walk, talk, etc. Look at babies, etc. Shift all your attention to an object and just focus on what it is or what it's doing.
Wearing a pad does help but it's gonna be damn heavy at the end of the day. Try to empty your bladder before gatherings and tell yourself, yes I've emptied already, bring on all the hilarious stuff. Don't go to the bathroom every five minutes man, don't overstress your bladder.
Hmm..meanwhile, maybe we should really try to see a doc and see what's wrong with us. Anyways, good luck to you. Surprised to see that there's someone like me too! Haha! =D
|
|
one of my best friends, who also happens to be the guy i like is going out with another . Me and his friend don't really get along, and we don't really like each other. He decided to stay with her and he just stopped talking to me. we used to talk everyday, but now we don't talk at all. is he right to chose her over me? (link)
|
Yes you're right, it's not right that he's ignoring you for her. But the thing is, you have to understand that some people would sacrifice love/crush/whatever over friendship. I would do that. I know that's bad. Would you have done the same if you were in his position?
It's always very frustrating whenever such things happen. Guy ditches good friend; good fren gets upset; his gf sooner or later ditches him; he comes running back to his good friend; tells good fren that she's actually the one for him; It's just all so f-ing annoying.
If he chooses her over you, then it really tells a lot bout him. He's not being a very loyal friend isnt he? You've been with him thru ups and downs and he doesn't seem to see things the way you see it. I'm being brutally honest here but it goes to show that you aren't exactly on his priority list.
Learn to deal with it. Forget bout him. Let him come back to you whenever he wants to. I know some people would suggest talking to him. But sometimes, I feel that there's really nothing much to talk bout. His actions already tells me tt he doesn't appreciate me as a fren. I dunno maybe it's just pride on my part but I won't talk to him bcos his mindset is already set as such that it shows his ungratefulness towards you.
I'd go bout doing my work as per normal and I'll pray he ends up breaking up with that girl and come running back to me. In the meantime, I'll push him out of my mind totally bcos he's hurt me. Sorry if that sounded pretty bitchy but it's the truth and tt's wat we all want if we were in your shoes.
|
|
So is it possible to get std's without having any form of sex with another person? Because my penis sometimes gets reddened and the tip gets sore after masturbation. this isn't a problem right? (link)
|
Huh, I highly doubt so. Unless you had blood or bodily fluid contamination with someone who has STDs.
I think you have that because you probably did it too hard? Give it a break man. There was once I overheard my guy frens saying that "sometimes when you overdo it, it gets painful" (I didnt mean to eavesdrop but they were really talking damn loudly)
So chill, there's no problem at all.
|
Okay, I make out with my boyfriend every now and again..but it gets boring really fast. What can I do to keep it more..enjoyable? is that word? no..uhm. less boring. i suppose.
thanks. (link)
|
I think what the person below me is trying to say is to kiss by the "spiderman" and not superman style. You know, the upside down style.
I think you two must be doing it so often that it has lost it's chemistry. Maybe you can reduce the number of times you make out but increase the intensity of each make out.
You can try to kiss him slowly from neck and to the mouth.
Blow into or tickle his ear.
Play games with him like you two can try to use your mouth and try to see who can snap who's mouth first.
Dominate him, grab him, wrestle, play rape?(hope tt doesnt sound SM).
Do something funny, share a sweet with him, etc. Lots of things, do things that turns you on. Whenever you're turned on, he'll be turned on.
|
is dying your hair with temporary hair die that last like 6 to 8weeks really damging.
Does any one recomend any of the types of that hair die that last like a long time and works well. (link)
|
I dun go for temporary hair dyes. I use permanent ones. I used Loreal hair dyes. They're good and doesn't damage your hair.
|
|
what hurts more...getting ur belly button pierced for your cartilige on ur ear? (link)
| |
Definitely belly button
|
|
