Most likely, it was caused by some sort of blockage in the hair follicle, which got so badly infected that it turned into a boil. The black looking dot was probably a really deep ingrown hair that had been forming for months, without you noticing it until it got painful. It could also be an infection or reaction caused by a bug bite. The best thing to do is see a dermatologist, who will let you know what it is most likely to be, just by looking at it. They might prescribe some sort of ointment. You will be fine- your appointment is in only a day. If your regular doctor cannot help (which is unlikely), they might refer you to a dermatologist.

Try not to pick at either of the pimples- it can only make it worse by introducing new bacteria into the area. These things can happen from out of nowhere. I once got an infection on my thigh- which turned out to be a boil....once it drained, a LOT of pus came out. I'm thinking that you might have the same thing. You might have gotten another one, if the pus from your previous pimple/boil blocked a different hair follicle- this is why you shouldn't touch it. If it looks like it's getting really big/deep, your doctor or dermatologist will most likely drain it.

Are you the youngest child, or relative? I am sure that you are not being treated as badly as you think- sometimes the youngest in the family are the last ones to find out about important things; trust me, I would know. Your family does care about you. After all, they did tell you that what affects you, affects them. As for the hospital incident, they might have been so caught up about what was going on with your grandmother, that they did not think to pull you in the middle of it. And as the columnist below mentioned, they might not have wanted to put a burden on you.

My guess is that since you already live away from home (college, perhaps), and might have to deal with school/work, it did not occur to them to get you involved right away. At the same time, three weeks is quite long, and they really should have informed you a lot earlier- she's your grandmother. For your own sake, let your family know how you feel, and try not to bottle things up inside. You should start by saying that you were hurt that you did not find out about your grandmother until a few weeks after she was taken to the hospital. Just let them know how you feel about how you are treated. It might be in your head, or it might not. Regardless, you will have to be mature, and not turn this into something that would come across as yelling or whining. Just tell them, firmly and plainly, that you would like for them to let you know about important things that are going on, and that you feel you are not included in the family as much as you deserve to be. If they are understanding, they will reassure you, and try to do something about it. All the best.

This isn't just a matter of sexual preference, it's a matter of right and wrong. For your girlfriend's uncle- a blood relative- to have given her head, is not only morally wrong, it is illegal (and highly punishable by law) and downright disgusting. I suggest..actually, I implore you to break up with her. Anyone who is okay with doing anything sexual, or having any physical contact whatsoever with a relative, has major issues. Even if she is not okay with what happened, she went ahead and did it, which shows that at the very least, she is highly insecure. You need to get out of the relationship for your own sake. Also, it might be a good idea for you to ask her if she is okay about it, or if she has any anger toward her uncle for what happened. She might be in denial and needs some sort of help. But in the end, you also need to look out for yourself. Dating someone who took part in a sexual act with a relative is just not okay. You can suggest, if she is traumatized in some way, that she get therapy or some sort of help. Her uncle, frankly, should be behind bars. And your relationship with her should be put behind you- end it.

There are lots of ways of finding out if someone likes you, but some people are very subtle about the way they show you. Generally, if guys, in particular, remember some detail about you and repeat it back randomly, they might be interested in you; their subtle way of showing you they care about what you say/who you are. Also, if a guy makes an effort to talk to you often, they may be interested in you- guys, unlike girls, don't usually go out of their way to talk to you or make plans with you, unless they like you in some way (girls might just think the guy is nice, for example, and just want to hang out as friends). You might notice if a guy looks at you in a certain way at times, like a shy sort of glance. There isn't a sure fire way of knowing if a guy is into you, but sometimes you can just tell. In your case, it might be a good idea to suggest meeting for coffee or something outside class- see how he responds. Either he likes you, and will not turn down a chance to meet up with you at some point, or he only sees you as a friend, and will either A) meet for coffee (or whatever) but only as friends, aka, no flirting, asking you out, etc., or B) not meet up with you, so as to not give you the wrong impression. I am no expert, believe me. But I have been in enough situations like this, in which I have sensed patterns. You will too- people generally do similar things/act in certain ways when they like someone. It's up to you to figure out for sure if he is attracted to you, and if so, would like to maybe go out with you. Just remember- many things in life are intuitive.

That only means that you are even more attracted to this person, to the point where they make you feel out of breath. I have gotten like this too- you're super attracted to this person, and that makes you feel nervous. The butterfly sensation happens when you have a crush on someone- but when you have a huge crush, you sometimes get out of breath, like you described. No worries; overtime the feeling may subside :)

Yeah, it should be clear-ish. If your mucus is constantly bright yellow or green, it might be a sign of some sort of infection (maybe even a sinus infection). First, avoid picking your nose. Ask yourself if your nose is consistently stuffy and congested, even after you blow your nose. Your sinuses might be congested, or you might have a sinus infection or allergies; there is no way of knowing. If you do feel like you cannot breath properly, that your nose always feels congested, and that your mucus is always bright green, you should see a doctor, who might refer you to an ENT (ear/nose/throat) specialist, if needed.

I recommend using a sinus rinse- even if you don't have an infection, it will help clear out your nasal passages and help you breath better overtime. You can find the "Neil Med" sinus rinse and sodium solution packets (mix) at a drugstore, or online. Make sure you get the squeeze bottle one, not the netti ceramic pot (the squeeze bottle allows the solution to more effectively clear out your nasal passages). You can get refills of the solution packets as well.

You should probably talk to your doctor and see what, if anything, needs to be done. If you have a sinus infection, you will probably be instructed to use a sinus rinse, and possibly be put on antibiotics. No one online can tell you what you might have, so seeing a doctor is your best bet.

I don't think it's a good idea to continue keeping in touch with this guy. Not only does he live far away from you, you only communicate online, and for all you know, he could secretly be a creep. I have read stories in magazines where a girl gets to know someone online- they seem very sweet and charming, and the two hit it off. When they met in person, however, things were not so sweet- some girls get raped this way. I have no idea who this person is, but sorry to say, neither do you. You are better off ignoring him, or maybe letting him know that you are a) young, and b) too far away from him to establish anything. You have to move on, and soon enough, find someone who you actually know in person, and who you could really establish something with. You never know what kinds of creeps there are out there, who use the internet to lure young women into their sick worlds. You are better safe than sorry.

It isn't easy for guys to apologize- most of the time, an apology is an apology. It does seem that he is genuinely sorry for whatever happened between the two of you, and wants to make things better. That said, I cannot give you a straight answer on what you should do, since I have no idea what happened in your relationship in the past. You are going to have to think things through, and weigh out what the likelihood is that he has in fact changed. It wouldn't hurt for you to meet up with him for coffee or lunch, and to be firm about your take on things- without being bitchy, but still remaining grounded and strong. Hear him out- he may genuinely regret anything he has done in the past to hurt you, and has realized after losing you, just how much you mean to him. That is a possibility. But there's also the possibility that he hasn't really changed, and might repeat some of the same mistakes. So I think you should meet up with him in a casual setting, where you can talk, and don't get too emotional or lulled into thinking that things will turn out perfectly. Just remain fairly impartial, and take a step back, looking at things objectively. Ask yourself whether he is sincere, if his eyes/way he talks makes him seem like he really means it, etc. Also, don't be afraid to ask him why he thinks he deserves another chance, and what he will do to change things if you get back together again. In the end, if you think he has changed and deserves another chance, take things slowly, and be cautious, but not too on-guard. Let things progress naturally, and see where things go. But that's only if YOU feel he deserves to have you again.

You should definitely call your orthodontist- he probably adjusted the retainer too much. See if you can make an appointment and go in soon.. let him know what your concerns are, and that you feel your teeth have been pushed back even further. He will either re-adjust your retainer, or have a new one made for you. It is not the case that he doesn't know what he's doing-- there is no way for him to know how much pain you're in or how badly the retainer fits, unless you tell him. This time, let your concerns be known, and when you try on the newly adjusted retainer the next time, definitely be picky and let your ortho know if it still feels painful/too tight. Keep in mind though, that it will feel tight and uncomfortable in the beginning, as your teeth have shifted a bit. Just remember to keep letting your orthodontist know how your retainer feels, every time he adjusts it.

That is a difficult situation to be in. I don't see why you two shouldn't go out- since there is a mutual attraction, and she already wants to go out with you, you should at least see how things go with her. You even mentioned that you think she's awesome, which is a very good sign. I am sure that you know what kind of a person she is already. Just because she is your best friend's sister, doesn't mean that she is off limits. You aren't doing anything wrong in this situation. I think that you should talk to her about it and let her know that you feel a bit uncomfortable going out with her behind her brother's back, and see how if she is okay with maybe having the two of you explain to her brother that you really like each other and get along well, and that you are interested in seeing each other. You don't have to tell him that you have already been going out, but that you are going to-- but you should definitely talk to her first, and then come to an agreement on how best to let her brother know. It might be awkward for all three of you- but the important thing to remember is that you two like each other in more ways than one, and that nothing should get in the way of your relationship. Your friend will have to accept it... and considering how long you two have known each other, it might be a lot easier for him to do so. Doing anything behind anyone's back is never really the way to go.

I grew up in the LA area, and hey, I made it out alive. All jokes aside, you don't have to worry. Sometimes there are no earthquakes for years, as the answer below mentions, and other times, you might get one or two small earthquakes. The small ones hardly feel like the big earthquakes that you might be thinking of. It's hard to explain what an earthquake feels like...it's basically a big shaking. In LA, there hasn't been a really huge earthquake since January 1994, the Northridge quake, which was scary- it felt like our house (within 20-30 minutes to Northridge) was swaying. I was 9 years old, and it was in the middle of the night. Our whole family went downstairs and sat under the dinner table for a while. So, while it is unpredictable when an earthquake will hit, it is unlikely that something big will happen in the immediate future. And buildings are earthquake safe. If you are concerned, you can read up on earthquake safety tips as a precaution, but don't worry. I wasn't ever scared of encountering an earthquake, and if it does happen, it is usually quick and pretty small....and rare. There are some earthquake fault lines, which is of course why California is known for its earthquakes. But that shouldn't make you feel worried about moving there. Think of it this way- some states in the midwest and south are known for tornadoes and/or thunderstorms, but I don't think that deters people from living there. Nature can be unpredictable, of course, but the chances of encountering something like a major earthquake or tornado aren't THAT big... it might happen, but it's not something you should be totally worried about.

"Beauty is in the eye of the beholder." We've all heard it before, and it may seem cliche, but there is a lot of truth in that simple saying. One cannot define beauty. The reason you are feeling down about yourself, is that you are putting beauty into a very narrow category. I understand why you feel this way. You might walk by magazines at the supermarket or newspaper stand, and see models and celebrities all glammed out on on the front cover. You might see girls at school (I know exactly how they can be) dolled up on the runway that is high school. What do these two groups have in common? Well, for starters, "perfect" hair, "perfect" clothes, "perfect" makeup; you get the picture. But why should they be the only ones considered pretty? What about you?

By the sounds of it, you are down-to-earth. A lot of popular girls who constantly get praised for being so pretty, practically fall in love with their reflection in the mirror- they don't necessarily have their doubts about being pretty. And then you get the rest of us, who sometimes question if we are pretty or not, because we don't necessarily fall into the narrow category of "beauty," that society has set up (and high school or middle school being a product of this, of course). You know what? Over the years I have realized that confidence is the most important factor, just like the first columnist said. Once you feel good about yourself, you will stop constantly having doubts about your beauty. And really, it absolutely is what is on the inside that counts. If you are confident in who you are, you can feel pretty anytime. You will realize that it's more than what's on the surface that matters.

I am sure that you are a pretty girl; you might be at an awkward age, in which case it is normal to feel that way. I felt that way too in middle school and part of high school. When I was 12, our English teacher was passing out our class photos, and she said something about how I looked nice in my picture, and this girl squinted, and said, "no," as in --no, she doesn't. Trust me, I know how cruel girls can be. And i know where they are getting their ideas. That might be part of the reason you don't feel pretty. But you know what- by feeling that way, you are giving into their distorted perception of beauty. Just understand that you are beautiful. No body can or should make you feel otherwise. Remember, as the first columnist mentioned, confidence is beautiful. And as you grow, you will come to feel at one with your true self, and care far less about what other people think, your looks included. I am sure that you have a lot to offer, on the outside and inside. Do not ever change yourself for other people, whether it is to act a certain way, or look a certain way. In the end, you are only comfortable with being YOU. I agree with the first answer- if you want to do something for yourself looks-wise, then make sure to only do it for yourself, and not just to impress everyone. But remember- if you look the world in the face, and feel comfortable with yourself, then you will feel beautiful, inside and out.

I completely agree with the answer below- many, if not most guys would find that to be an awesome quality in a girl. For one thing, it would mean not having to be dragged to chick flicks at the movies, and more importantly, it means having a girl who might actually have taste in film. I love mob flicks, dark comedies, dramas, independent/foreign films, etc., but I dread chick flicks-- and I'm a girl too. So nothing wrong with that. One of my friends ( a guy) is really into film, and we could go on and on talking about it...one common denominator: Hollywood blockbuster flicks bend the concept of love and relationships way out of proportion (you could say that about other things too), mainly to attract viewers, which means more profit. Unfortunately, as you mentioned, the same plot plays out time and again in a "no thinking required" fashion. I think most of us have enjoyed a chick flick or two here and there (mainly the funny ones, or the ones from the 80s, for example), but overall, they are dull and predictable.

If your boyfriend brings it up again, you can let him know that you happen to like mob flicks, and lots of other things, but find chick flicks to be dull and predictable. Just because lots of other girls like chick flicks doesn't mean it's weird for you not to- quite the opposite.

For starters, and as the person below mentioned, stop worrying so much. It is unlikely that you are so addicted to masturbating that it is taking over your life. However, if you feel like ALL you want to do is masturbate ALL the time, and that it is getting in the way of your daily life, then there are things you can do to reduce how often you masturbate. Note that completely stopping masturbating is not only negative, but harmful. It is a normal, human urge to want to have sexual release (e.g., being horny), and masturbation in a perfectly healthy way to go about it. So, definitely don't stop-- i mean, if you do, you're sexually starving yourself. If you masturbate everyday, that's fine. If you do it several times a day, and it's all you want to do, and is getting in the way of life....then you can try doing other things to get your mind off it. Go out, do some homework/studying, take part in some sort of hobby, etc., whatever you want to do to take your mind off things.

If, however, you feel like you might just have some sort of a legitimate addiction to masturbating (in the same way as, say, compulsive gambling, drinking, drugs, etc.), then there is help.. a quick google search helped me find this site:

http://www.teengrowth.com/index.cfm?action=info_advice&ID_Advice=1706

I am sure that there are good links/contacts listed on that site.

But unless you feel like you are to masturbating, what a chain smoker is to cigarrettes, you might not have a serious problem. It is held that masturbating every day is okay, and that it only becomes an addiction when it interferes with daily life and activities, and it's almost all you think about. Think of it this way: if you like to socially have a few drinks with friends once in a while, you are not an alcoholic...but if you constantly drink to dull the pain/run away from life, are extremely drunk a lot of the time-- in other words, alcohol runs your life, then you are an alcoholic. So how this ties in- people masturbate, it's part of life. If you masturbate every day/every couple days or so, simply for sexual release, you're fine. But when masturbating become a compulsion, or addiction (for different reasons), and is something you do several times a day, whenever you can--and at the expense of other activities, then you might need to seek help.

There is nothing gross about your question, so don't worry about that. Anything that appears abnormal should be checked out- having blood in your poop, is certainly abnormal. There are too many possible complications for me to list- but that could be a sign of a potentially serious condition. The only person that can diagnose your symptoms is the doctor. So, don't be shy, and don't hold back. Go tell your parents- it might seem embarrassing, but it really isn't; they are only there to help you. Definitely see the doctor right away- they might have to do a couple tests, and probably even take a sample of your stool. This could be nothing at all, or a sign of some sort of infection, for example. No body on any internet site can diagnose anything. You will have to first let your parents know, and then go with them to the doctor's office to get everything checked out. Best of luck.

* To add, some of the major signs of an infection or illness presents itself in your urine or feces (pee or poop, just to not sound so much like a doctor, haha), which is why doctor's sometimes ask patients if they have noticed anything while going to the bathroom. So, please get this checked out right away- the doctor, if needed, can prescribe medication or antibiotics, or let you know what, if anything, needs to be done.

(a few years ago, i had to stay in the hospital for a week, after having my appedix removed (it burst, and there was a big infection)...the doctors and nurses tested my pee and poop literally every day, and monitored any changes. Just to let you know how important it is for your pee and poop to appear normal).

I know how strange it is for you to have come across your dad's porn, but it is his right to watch it, and as long as he isn't absolutely addicted to it, there's nothing wrong with it. And I know he's your dad, but he really isn't old at all- actually quite young, especially since there isn't a big age difference between the two of you. Regardless, he has a right to watch porn in his free time, and as difficult as it might seem, you're going to have to let it be. Forget about it- and don't look through it- it's really a privacy issue as well. It certainly is not alright for you to watch his porn. Think of how upset you would be if your dad found your porn and watched it behind your back (and as the columnist below mentioned, you do have to be 18+ to legally access porn). And to add, it is perfectly fine for him to watch porn- he is an adult, and he is fully capable of making his own decisions, including watching porn. So, bottom line, leave it to him- don't question it, and accept the fact that he is a grown man, and grown men sometimes enjoy "grown up" things.

Yes, shaving does cause pigmentation in the underarm area, particularly if you have darker hair. It can get worse if you shave frequently. The best way to get rid of pigmentation is to start waxing instead. Not only will the skin appear much lighter, but your hair will grow in thinner overtime, and your skin will feel much smoother. I generally alternate between shaving and waxing. If I absolutely have to wear a nice top while going out, for example, I just go ahead and shave. But i try to wax as much as possible, since it makes my underarms look much smoother and I don't have to worry about the hair growing in too quickly (or having stubble, for that matter). So, I would recommend waxing- you can get waxing strips, or go to a salon, if you don't want to do it yourself. You will notice a big difference.

Most likely, you will be able to transfer money online. Once you sign on to your online banking account, there is tab at the top of the site, "transfers." Once you click on it, there is a drop down menu for "from" (account), and "to"...so you just choose which account you want to transfer from and to. Right below that, you enter in the exact amount, and that you want a one-time transfer (the first option). The good thing is that once you have entered the information, you can confirm everything before you actually go ahead with the transfer.

If you don't have an online account, I highly recommend you get one- it's easy. You can check your balance and pay bills online as well. If you would rather not transfer money online, you can always go to the bank and have them do it for you. You can also transfer money between accounts at the ATM, by choosing- transfer money, or something along those lines.

No, that is definitely not how people should treat their girlfriends in any serious relationship. Something has to be wrong, since he is no longer including you in some important events and is constantly making excuses for why he can't go out with you. A number of things could be going on, and unless you confront him about the issues you just mentioned, there is no way of knowing. He might have lost interest in you due to the long distance (but LA to SF is not REALLY long distance, come to think of it). He might have met someone else, and is hiding it from you.. but you should not assume anything. You need to talk to him, preferably in person, and sort things out. He is not taking you, or the relationship, seriously. That is unacceptable.

If the relationship were going well, he would be excited to see you, and to include you in as many events as possible. He would make much more of an effort to make you feel loved and wanted. By the sound of it, he is doing neither. You will need to let him know--calmly, but firmly-- that you feel that things have not been going so well- that he does not include you in events (white coat ceremony), or make an effort to try to visit you when he can...and that basically, it seems that he is not interested and is not making an effort. But in the end, you need to let him know exactly how you feel, and what's bothering you, whichever way you want to put it. Do not let this turn into a fight, but don't be a pushover either. Try to see what's going on- if he is not interested in continuing with the relationship, if he met someone else, etc.. In the end, you will have to do what is right for yourself. If you feel like he continues to make you feel this way without putting an effort into improving the relationship, you might just have to step away and move on.

Unfortunately, those two scumbags are the only ones who know exactly what happened, since you were supposedly too drunk to remember anything. How drunk were you, really? They could have slipped something in your drink. Do not keep this to yourself- tell a trusted adult, or at least a nurse who can guide you in the right direction. If they did, in fact, even TRY to rape you, they can be arrested.

Now, down to the details. Do you honestly think that someone who has a history of raping/trying to rape girls is going to be honest with you? Saying that they would not try anything, since they didn't have a condom, is total bullshit. Nothing would get in their way- they don't give half a shit about you. Also, a HUGE warning sign is that these two tried to rape your friend before at a party- "supposedly??" NO. Shit like that does not "supposedly" happen.

LISTEN. You HAVE to do the following- don't think that you can put all this behind you, and that it won't bother you years down the line. It can, and it will. What you have to do now, is look after yourself. You cannot allow them to get away with their bullshit- it can happen to other girls too, you know.

so,:

1) File a police report immediately. Any and all details you have can help (i.e., their age, names, what they look like, what gym you saw them at, and what do you remember from that night). Think long and hard about ALL the details you can possibly think of, and do NOT keep anything to yourself.

2) Please, if you haven't already, DO NOT wash yourself down there just yet. Whatever you have with you can possibly help- clothes, etc., Go to a gyno/doctor/nurse or whatever, get thoroughly examined. They can find traces of semen as supporting evidence, cause honey, these two might have raped you.

3) Tell someone- a counselor, trusted parent/adult, friend. You need support. You might be in denial or shock now, but this might come back to hurt you down the line.

4) Go get plan B (morning after pill at a clinic or planned parenthood- better safe than sorry)- it is effective up to 3 days after unprotected sex. Then, assuming this is a recent incident, wait about 2 weeks, and go get a pregnancy test at the doctor's office, gyno., or planned parenthood or other free clinic.

5) Get screened for STD's- no matter how worried/scared you are. If you got something, it might not even have symptoms, and can cause irreversible damage to your reproductive organs if left untreated. Get tested for Gonorrhea, Chlamydia, Herpes, etc...all you have to do is go to planned parenthood or your gyno, and ask for STD screening- they'll ask some questions, and do a swab and urine test.

6) After 6 months, GO get tested for HIV- with guys like them, you never know. Many clinics offer free testing.

You do not know anything about these guys aside from the fact that they're 18 and in college. All the warning signs indicate that you may very well have been raped: they tried to rape your friend (people don't just make that shit up), you feel sore down there---- and honey, guys like them, why would they care about only fingering you?? they were with you PURELY for their OWN benefit---getting laid. , you felt SORE. Please wake up, you were probably raped. This is a good commentary on an online newspaper (Guardian, UK), by a woman who was raped, and too drunk/traumatized:

http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2009/may/16/experience-rape

I know how hard this is on you, but you have to do something (well, lots of things). Seriously, if it helps, make a checklist, or even print out this advice. Literally do everything that I suggested, one by one. Think of it this way: if you keep this to yourself, you are only allowing them, and guys like them, to get away with their shit...which means more girls to screw over. For future reference- avoid sketchy guys like them AT ALL COSTS. They're only bad news.

I am here to give honest advice, when I feel I have something to contribute. I try to be as empathetic and understanding as I can, as I know that the way something is said is as important as the message itself.

I usually advise on love/relationships, friendship and family issues, nutrition, and health (mental and physical). If I feel I can help out, there's not a whole lot I am unwilling to answer. Ask away!

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